


Blood vs. Water

by bri_ness



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, But not too slow don't worry, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, M/M, Messy relationships continue to abound, Slow Burn, Snakesak, Survivor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2018-12-13 18:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 100,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11765694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bri_ness/pseuds/bri_ness
Summary: In which Snakesak plays Survivor.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS I'M DOING THIS AGAIN. 
> 
> I was going to write a better description, but you know what to expect by now, right? Lots of snaking and plot twists to come. But, as you might get a sense of from the prologue, this will be a different fic than Expect the Unexpected. I want it to be a bit more character-driven. 
> 
> I'll explain how Survivor works in the notes for the next chapter because that's when the game starts, but you should know this is a blood vs. water season. Basically, everyone enters the game with a partner, but they still play as individuals. Since Jonas is Isak's partner, the prologue focuses on their relationship. This is an Evak fic, but know that Isak's feelings for Jonas will be a theme throughout it.
> 
> Much like Expect the Unexpected, I really have not planned anything, so this story could fall apart at any moment. But that's kind of the fun of it. :)
> 
> Finally, I'm dedicating this to my BB trash family, because I probably wouldn't be writing this if you didn't continue to enable my reality TV addiction. Love you. ♥️
> 
> Enjoy!

“Why is he here?”

Isak’s annoyed by the question. To be fair, he is thirteen, and thus annoyed by everything.

“Same reason everyone else is. We’re hanging out.”

“He doesn’t even have a board.”

So what? There’s no sign outside of the skatepark: _must have a board, sense of balance, and friends to enter._

“He can probably hear us.”

“Maybe then he’ll realize it’s weird he’s always hanging around you.”

Really? That’s coming from _Elias_? When both Isak and Elias were looking for partners for an experiment in science class, Jonas nodded at _Isak._ Elias only joined them because there was an odd number of people in the class.

Isak doesn’t like groups of three.

Someone places their hand on Isak’s shoulder, but it has to be Jonas because it’s always and only Jonas. “You must be bored,” Jonas says.

“No!” Once it’s out, Isak knows it’s an overreaction: too quick and too dramatic. “I mean, it’s better than being home.”

“How are you parents?”

“Still fighting.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Have I ever?”

Jonas shakes his head, resigned. “But if you _do_ —you know I’m here, Isak.”

Jonas is not like other thirteen-year-old boys. And Isak’s really been noticing boys lately, so he would know.

“Mom’s making lasagna,” Jonas says because he’s taken to filling Isak’s silences. Isak’s grateful because his mind is too loud when his world is too quiet. “Do you want to come over? I have an old board you can use. We can practice in my driveway.”

Isak doesn’t particularly want to receive another Concerned Mom look. The last time he slept over, he listened at the door as Jonas’s mom interrogated him. _Have you met his parents? Is he safe at home? Why is always here, Jonas_? Everyone assumes Isak doesn’t listen when people talk about him, which is fucking stupid.

But, Isak likes hanging out with Jonas. It is maybe the only thing he likes—well, he likes lasagna too. 

“Yeah. Thanks.”

\---

“Why is he here?”

“His parents are away. He’d be by himself all weekend.”

Jonas does not say that _away_ means Isak’s mom is in the hospital and his dad is who the fuck knows where, Isak doesn’t give a fuck because his dad’s a fucking dick.

It has not been a good year.

“Ok, but doesn’t he have other friends?”

“Why does it matter? He’s just chilling in the other room.”

“Going to the cabin was supposed to be romantic. I feel like we can’t _do_ anything.”

“Yeah? What do you have in mind?”

“Jonas, I’m not going to—”

“Whisper it to me.”

Giggling. Isak is sixteen and still annoyed by everything. It might just be his personality.

It’s worse when the talking stops. Talking means they’re doing things and—no, Isak cuts that thought off and opens the bedroom door.

“Sorry!” he lies.

“What the fuck?” Jonas says as Isabell, the person Jonas insists on calling his girlfriend, rolls her eyes. Isak shuts the door behind him and returns to the living room, knowing Jonas will join him within minutes.

“Did I kill the mood?” Isak asks when Jonas leaves the bedroom, wishing he didn’t notice that Jonas’s shirt is inside-out.  

Jonas shakes his head as he grabs two beers from the fridge, tossing one to Isak. “She’s always pissed at me lately.”

“I think…” Isak pauses as he opens his beer, then continues, “Sorry, I shouldn’t say anything.”

“You can’t do that, Isak.”

It’s true. Isak knows that Jonas never lets him get away with it. “What’s the point of being with someone who stresses you out? It’s not like it’s true love, right?”

“Yeah, but it could be?”

Jonas is a bit of a romantic. Isak is trying not to be one, but he can’t stop fantasizing about sitting by the campfire with Jonas, ideally under a blanket. Which he recognizes as a _too-specific-to-be-straight_ thought.

That doesn’t mean he’s _gay_ , though. And it definitely doesn’t mean he’s in love with his straight best friend because fuck, that would destroy a romantic.

“I think you’re still high. Do you see all the third years she flirts with?”

“I don’t know if she’s _flirting_ —”

“You’re not yourself with her.”

“Fuck, I don’t know.” Jonas sighs, running his hand through his curls. Isak has curls, too. Maybe Jonas would like running his hand through them.

Isak hates the way his brain works.

“How do you even break-up with someone?” Jonas asks.

Isak shrugs. “We’ll figure it out. Maybe we can Google it.”

Every time Jonas laughs, something shakes inside of Isak: it somersaults, it flips, it’s starting to make him a little sick.

\---

“Why is here?”

“The fuck does it matter? Let’s just get him home.”

Isak is eighteen and fucking wasted at a gay bar.

“But is he gay?”

“Yeah, that’s not a conversation I’m having with you. He’ll tell us if he wants to. If there’s anything to tell.”

“I don’t want to go home,” Isak says as Jonas and Elias, he still hangs out with fucking _Elias_ , brace him from either side. Jonas is always keeping him standing. “Please. Don’t make me go home.”

“What do we do now?” Elias asks.

“Fuck it. Just bring him to my place.”

\---

“Why are you here?”

Isak is twenty-one the first time the question comes from Jonas.

“I live here?” Isak says as he throws his keys into the bowl that was his idea because if there’s anywhere he belongs, it’s here.

“But wasn’t your date with Julian tonight?” Jonas says as Isak crashes on the couch beside him, settling back into his home. “Did you even make it through dinner?”

“Did I make it through dinner? Do you think I’m that much of an asshole?” Of course Isak made it through dinner, because he claimed he was trying to eat clean and ordered a fucking salad that was basically a plate of lettuce to get through the night as quickly as possible.

Jonas dodges the question. “What was wrong with him?”

“He wore a suit.”

“Because he’s rich? Trying to impress you? What’s the problem?”

“It’s too much for a first date.”

Jonas sighs like he’s actually mad, like they’re actually _fighting_ about this. “You have to give someone a chance, Isak.”

It all feels pretty fucking pointless to Isak, because he’s not going to love anyone the way he loves Jonas.

It’s not a crush, exactly. Not anymore. Jonas is straight and Isak’s given himself many lectures on the subject. _Jonas is straight, so don’t think about kissing him. And while you’re at it, don’t think about doing other things with him. Just stop thinking the way you’re inclined to think because it always hurts you._

But platonic or romantic, Isak can’t imagine a relationship more supportive, fulfilling, and fun than the one he has with Jonas. So he’s not going to date another guy and think about how we wishes he was with Jonas instead, that’s not fair to anyone.

He’ll cling to what he has with Jonas and if they’re still roommates when they’re forty, so fucking what?

“What about you? Who are you giving a chance?” Isak asks, sincerely. He needs to know what he’s up against.

“I tried with Isabell, but that went to shit.”

Right. They ran into her at a party last weekend. She’s working for a non-profit that does something to help some unprivileged group do something—Isak stopped listening, but it made Jonas hard. When a friend pulled her away, Jonas said that he was going to do it, he was going to ask her if they could try again, but he was nervous and could Isak do him a solid and be a good wingman? Casually mention that Jonas is beginning his journalism career and is interning (unpaid, but Jonas didn’t say that part) for a website that exposes the parts of Norway the government doesn’t want them to see? And maybe also that he’s much more mature than he was at sixteen?

Isak found Isabell and gently told her that Jonas wasn’t interested anymore, so she should leave him alone.

He still doesn’t like groups of three.

“Sorry. That sucked.”

“Whatever. It’s over.”

And then they’re quiet, which is happening a lot lately. Isak mentally scans through their usual past times—FIFA, smoking, and staring at the wall—until he lands on his favourite.

“Do you want to watch Survivor?”

It started as a joke. They were high and hate-watching it because it was on, but then Jonas was annoyed by castaways who couldn’t make fire and Isak was annoyed by castaways who were offended when someone lied to them. Within weeks, they were sober and catching up on all old seasons, more invested in the game than their own lives.

“Only if you set it up. I’m too lazy.”

Isak gets his laptop, seeing a desktop notification from Survivor’s official Twitter account. Because yeah, he has those turned on now too. 

_Now casting for Blood vs. Water!_

Isak clicks the link and scans the casting announcement. They’re looking for pairs to enter the game but play as individuals, to see if people’s loyalty is stronger to blood or water. _Blood_ is a loose concept: they could be brothers, but they could also, for example, be roommates.

Isak’s closer to Jonas than he is to any of his blood relatives, anyway. 

“Is the wi-fi not working?” Jonas asks because this task has taken Isak longer than thirty seconds. “I’m not calling again. It’s your turn.”

Isak turns his laptop so the screen is facing Jonas.

“Do you want to do something crazy?”

\---

“Jonas, why are you here?”

Isak wonders if Jonas has ever been asked that question in his life. Mutta Tatouti, the _host of Survivor_ is conducting their _pre-show interviews_ and ok, Isak is really fucking excited.

“I like the idea of being part of a tribe, working together for a common goal. I wish our society was more like that—without the part where you vote people out, anyway.”

He smiles and God, Jonas can be so charming. They really have a shot here.

“What about you, Isak?” Mutta asks.

“I like the part where you vote people off,” Isak says, grinning.

Though really, this means much more to Isak than he’ll say on TV. Since he and Jonas were cast, they’ve analyzed entire seasons of Survivor, dissecting each castaway’s game play with a childlike enthusiasm. They’ve cancelled plans with friends and dates to stay in for it, to stay with each other.

As long as Isak is with Jonas, he’s where he belongs.


	2. Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to start fires with friction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And ten years later, an update! I really am sorry for the wait: I hope it's worthwhile. Along with being busy, I found it hard to shift from writing pure fluff during fic week to this Isak who is pretty deeply hurt. That said, I am thrilled to return to this universe. 
> 
> For those unfamiliar with Survivor, the basic premise is that players (castaways) are "stranded" together on an island. They begin the game in two or more tribes. Every few days, they compete against each other for immunity. The tribe that loses immunity has to go to tribal council and vote off one of their members. About halfway through the season, the tribes merge and the castaways start competing for individual immunity. The person with individual immunity cannot be voted off at the next tribal council. This continues until a final two or three, at which point the jury votes for the winner (like Big Brother). 
> 
> Before the merge, there are often tribe swaps where some castaways switch tribes. There are also hidden immunity idols in play throughout the game. If someone plays an idol at tribal council, no votes cast against them count. Idols must be played after the votes are cast, but before they're read, and they can only be used until top five. Both individual immunity and idols can be used on other people. 
> 
> I think that's it? If you have questions, please let me know! You may realize that because I'm beginning this fic with two tribes, there are some castaways you won't see for awhile (if at all). It's a downfall of limited POV in this fic, but hopefully it'll make the game more interesting when you do see them.
> 
> Enjoy!

Everything is rocking.

As the boat rides the waves, bodies shift back-and-forth on benches, and crates of supplies topple onto and over one another, Isak’s stomach swishes with a little anxiety, a little excitement, and a lot of nausea.

His thoughts move faster than anything on the boat, assessing his competitors. Though some wear the same red buff that’s tied around Isak’s wrist, he’s not about to romanticize the idea of a _tribe._ No one actually looks out for each other.

Or, almost no one. Isak frowns at the blue buff around Jonas’s neck, then remembers their strategy.

“We should downplay our relationship,” Jonas said as they packed. “Act like we’re just roommates. We want people to think we’ll sell each other out.”

Isak nodded, focused on the revelation that Jonas still saw them as more than roommates.

“But you know I’d never actually turn my back on you,” Jonas said.

“Me neither.”

Isak breaks his first promise as he literally turns his back on Jonas: it’s the only way he’ll stop looking at him.

There’s a commotion as the sailors let down the sails and anchors, calling instructions in a dramatic rather than efficient fashion. It’s an unwelcome reminder they’re being filmed.

“Welcome to the adventure of a lifetime,” Mutta says. Isak stops himself from rolling his eyes: could he not find a new cliché? It's been a million seasons. “In order to survive forty days on the Mamanuca Islands, you’ll need to build fire, shelter, and most importantly, alliances. Everyone’s entered this game with a partner, but you’ll begin it divided. As the game progresses, we’ll see what’s stronger: blood or water.”

Isak suspects he’ll be annoyed by this theme until he and Jonas are against each other in the final tribal. _It’s not blood_ , he imagines saying. _But it’s the strongest relationship there is._

“You’ll need supplies to build your camp,” Mutta continues, gesturing to the crates. “Each tribe has a raft. Your first challenge is to load it with what you think will help you survive out here.”

Isak’s always been resourceful.

His cupboards were rarely full, his dad was rarely home, and his mom was rarely up to cooking. So, he’d make sandwiches out of white bread, cornflakes, and mayonnaise for dinner. If they ran out of something like hand soap and no one would go to the store, he’d rinse the dispenser out, then fill it with a mixture of shampoo and water. And when he was home alone younger and later than he should have been, he pushed chairs against doors to reassure himself that the noises outside wouldn’t come inside.

Isak doesn’t need anything in the crates. Tools, food, and fishing equipment would all be nice luxuries, but he’ll always get by with what he has.

He needs an advantage.

Isak’s watched enough Survivor to know there’s always one hidden on the boat at the beginning of the game, whether it’s a clue to the immunity idol or a special power. He’d rather gain some security in the game than a few bananas for his tribe.

“Survivors ready…go!”

It’s instant chaos: the exact environment Isak thrives in. As long as everyone’s distracted, they won’t give a shit what he’s doing in the background.

He helps his tribe untie their raft and lower it into the ocean, then says, “I’ll go to the other end and pass stuff down. That way we’ll get to it first.”

A girl with brown hair piled on top of her head and a red buff tied around her waist says, “Good idea.”

Isak runs to the other side of the boat, throwing supplies to anyone with a red buff. Each time he moves a crate, he scans his surroundings until he finds—

Another hand picking up his fucking advantage.

And of course the guy puts it down his shorts, which is the only reason Isak ends up staring at his crotch.

Whatever. It’s still an advantage to know someone else has one, and Isak wants this guy to know he’s been caught. Looking up, Isak takes him in: taller than him, blonde hair scattered around the red buff around his forehead, attractive in a way that’s interesting to look at.

The guy smiles with a little shrug. “We’ll talk later?” he mouths.

Isak responds with a smile and little shrug of his own.

\---

“Let’s go Sachchaai!”

Isak’s never played sports due to what the high school football coach called _a lack of team spirit_ , but now he’s in an honest-to-God huddle _._ It’s more natural to him when everyone splits apart than when they were together.

“All right, let’s do introductions,” the same guy who suggested the huddle says. They weren’t allowed to talk on their ride from the raft to the beach, but he’s more than making it up for now. “I’m Elias.”

Isak knows it’s unfair, but he doesn’t like him already.

“Currently unemployed, which is why I need the money,” Elias continues. “I’m here with my sister, Sana.”

“Was she the girl in the full-body swimsuit?” a girl in a ponytail asks, wearing her buff over her bikini top. "And a hijab?" 

“Do you have a problem with that?” Elias asks.

“No, no," she says, shaking her head. "Just thought she might be warm." Isak decides he doesn’t like her either, but that feels earned. “I’m Sara. My partner’s Ingrid: brown curly hair? We’ve been friends forever.”

It’s not the only pair of friends. On Isak’s tribe, there’s Chris and Mahdi, who name their respective partners on Taagat as Vilde and Magnus.

“I’ll go next,” the advantage-stealer says. “I’m Even. I have a pretty useless degree in creative arts, so I’m working as a barista right now. And I’m playing with my friend Yousef, who has the same useless degree as me.”

Everyone’s laughing: he’s kind of charming, but Isak suspects it’s easy to charm when you look the way he does.  

Eskild introduces himself next: his partner is his roommate, Linn. Isak takes advantage of the segue and says, “Oh, I’m here with my roommate too: Jonas, biggest eyebrows you’ve ever seen?” Isak notes some nods in recognition. “And I’m Isak.”

“How’d you guys meet?” Even asks.

“Just online,” Isak answers, having rehearsed this story with Jonas. “He posted an ad asking for a roommate, and I replied.”

“You got lucky that neither of you are murderers,” Chris says.

Not quite knowing how to respond, Isak laughs and nods. “Yeah, we did.”

“So am I the only one here who’s in love?” the same girl who helped Isak on the boat asks. “I’m Eva. Did you see the girl with the blonde bob? That’s my girlfriend, Noora.”

“Wait, seriously?” Elias says. “She’s so hot.”

“Sorry, but she’s taken,” Eva says with a smile.  

“How long have you been together?” Even asks. Isak's interested in how interested Even is in everyone else. 

“About two years? But we’ve been friends since high school.”

 “You’re not the only one in love,” the last guy to introduce himself says. “I’m Mikael, and I’m here with my boyfriend, Adam. We’ve been together for six months.”

“Six months?” Mahdi repeats. “Did you start dating right before you applied?”

“Kind of?” Mikael answers. “We’ve been flirting our entire lives. You know the part where you had to explain your relationship? We more or less realized we’ve been acting like boyfriends for years, just without the fun stuff. So, we started doing the fun stuff.”

God, it’s straight out of the fanfiction Isak writes for his life. _And on one seemingly normal day, seemingly out of nowhere, Jonas realized he loved me, too. Then we fucked._

It’s still not fair, but Isak doesn’t like Mikael either.

“And they say romance is dead,” Eskild says.

“I’ve never said that,” Even says.

“Ok, now that we’re all friends,” Elias says. “I’m going to take initiative here. We need to build our shelter before it gets dark. We should try to start a fire, too.”

And then he’s giving instructions: some are to get bamboo, some are to get firewood, and everyone’s to make themselves sparse as Elias designs the shelter with Mikael.

“Did I miss the vote for team captain?” Mahdi asks Isak as they gather firewood.

“He ‘takes initiative.’ That’s why he’s unemployed.”

Mahdi laughs, and Isak takes it as a sign of trust.

When they return to camp, Isak’s ready to be a hero. He’s watched countless YouTube videos on how start a fire with friction, understanding the science of it in order to master the technique. With Mahdi’s help, he builds a tinder nest out of grass and bark, cuts a notch into his firewood, then sets a piece of bark under the wood to catch the ember. He shapes another piece of wood into something like a spindle, places it in the notch, takes it between his hands, and starts rubbing.

“It’s like jacking off,” Isak explained to Jonas before they left.

“You would know,” Jonas said.

And _yes_ , he should know, but there’s no spark, no smoke, no flame. Isak kneels over it, sweats over it, exhausts himself over it, but it gives him no heat, no comfort, nothing to be proud of.

“Maybe you could help with the shelter,” Elias suggests. “Someone else can try to start the fire.”

 _Maybe you can go fuck yourself_ , Isak thinks, but Jonas advised him to use his filter.  

By the time it’s dark, their shelter’s shit, they don’t have fire, and Isak’s barely talked to Mahdi as relationships form all around him. Elias, Mikael, and Even. Eskild and Chris. Eva and Sara. How the fuck do people bond that quickly?

Sara’s the one to suggest they go to bed despite everything they haven’t accomplished. “We’re better off well-rested for the immunity challenge tomorrow,” she says. “Or we can continue using machetes in the dark until one of us has to be medically evacuated.” Even Elias has to agree with that.

When they squeeze into their too-small shelter, Isak feels the way his weight stresses the bamboo underneath him. He lies in-between Even and Elias, hoping pure exhaustion will grant him the relief of sleep.

But fuck, he’s freezing: the kind of cold that makes you shake. Bugs are crawling over his feet, legs, chest, his fucking _face_ , ready to eat him alive. And then there’s that feeling he always gets at night, the one that started the first time he realized he was home alone and no one told him they were leaving.

 _You are always alone, and you are meant to be alone_.

Isak hates himself for it, but he longs for Jonas the way he longed for his teddy bear as a child. Because when Jonas saw Isak bring a cornflake sandwich for lunch, he teased him for it in front of their friends—well, Jonas’s friends—but invited Isak over for dinner that night. And because Jonas once got him all the different kinds of soaps (hand, body, dish) for his birthday, joking that it was because Isak smelled like shit.

Because when Isak texted Jonas _I don’t know where my parents are_ , Jonas came over before Isak asked him to. 

“Are you cold?”

Isak startles at the whisper in his ear: Even. “I’m fine.”

Isak doesn’t know why he always says that. It’s never been true.

“You’re shivering.”

 _Because you’re fucking breathing down my neck, Even_. “Yeah.”

“We can get more body-heat if you get closer. If you’re cool with that.”

Isak needs the heat because he couldn’t start the stupid fire earlier. He shifts his body so it’s against Even’s, letting Even spoon him.

“I think the nights will be the hardest part,” Even whispers. “I can deal with the hunger, feeling dirty, all that shit, but these are going to be long nights.”

Isak doesn’t know what to say to that. Every night is a long night.

Might as well take advantage of them.

“In the morning,” Isak whispers. “You’re going to tell me what you found on the boat."

And the friction between them creates a spark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For clarity's sake, the two tribes are:
> 
> Sachchaai (red): Isak, Even, Eva, Sara, Chris, Mikael, Elias, Eskild, Mahdi
> 
> Taagat (blue): Jonas, Yousef, Noora, Ingrid, Vilde, Adam, Sana, Linn, Magnus
> 
> And the tribe names will be explained next chapter. :) Find me on tumblr at [brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).


	3. Truth vs. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak plays with truth to gain power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, this is the immunity challenge: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8dda5spt_c>.
> 
> Enjoy!

Isak wakes up to absence.

He’s used to it: the sensation of something leaving him. It’s why he doesn’t sleep much. He has to keep an eye on what he has. 

Right now, he misses the warmth of Even’s chest against his back, his hand resting over Isak’s heart. It felt undeniably nice, but Isak spent eighteen years convincing himself he was straight. Denial comes naturally to him.

Isak sits up and spots Even on the shoreline as the sun rises behind him. He squints because the whole scene’s a little too bright for him. As Even walks further away from the camp with a quick glance behind him, Isak knows he’s not up before the rest of the tribe to scrounge for food or get the fire started.

He’s going to fuck Isak over.

Isak gets up quickly and quietly: a practiced skill from sleeping everywhere but his own home. He jogs after Even until he finds him digging underneath a tree.

“Morning.”

Even turns, quickly covering his surprise with the kind of smile that would work on Isak in a bar. He’s not that vulnerable out here. “Hey. How’d you sleep?”

“Like shit.”

“Yeah, me too. I had to get up and walk.”

“Do you always stop in the middle of your walks to dig?”

“Don’t you?”

Isak doesn’t want to give him a laugh, but it escapes anyway. “So were you going to show me the clue to an idol you already found?” he asks. “I’d waste so much energy looking for nothing.”

“Not to mention you’d make everyone else suspicious of you.”

“Are we just listing all the ways you were planning to fuck me over?”

“I want you to give me the credit I deserve.” Even stands up, reaching into his shorts for the advantage he found on the boat. He unfolds it as Isak reads over his shoulder.

_To outlast, safety is key  
To outwit, look under trees_

“That’s fucking vague,” Isak says.

“I think that’s the point.”

They continue to stare at the clue, neither willing to make the first move. Isak considers his situation. He could run off and look for the idol on his own, but Even would ensure the entire tribe knew exactly what he was doing, and Even might find it before him. He could use this opportunity to form an alliance with Even, but that’s not exactly what Isak wants.

Everyone likes Even, and why wouldn’t they? He invites people to talk about themselves and actually listens when they do it, he’s always interesting when he speaks, and he pulls shit like putting his arm around Isak to _share body heat._

Most damning, Even knew to look for an advantage on the boat and to search for the idol before sunrise. Isak wants him gone.

And maybe this is exactly how he’ll do it.

In the long and varied list of Isak’s insecurities, the idea that he’s helpless is somewhere near the top. He knew the original Elias talked shit about how Jonas was like his babysitter, how embarrassing it was that Isak couldn’t spend a couple nights by himself (he’d spent entire weeks alone and sometimes just got fucking sick of it, not that Elias ever asked). Jonas never entertained those ideas, said he was only friends with Elias to get cheap weed, but Isak still worried that Jonas saw him as more of a responsibility than a friend.

In this game, though, he’ll use that to his advantage. The weaker he is, the less of a threat he is. Even already thinks he needs someone to keep him warm at night. 

“You know I really want to work with someone like you. You’re smart,” Isak says. “And I seriously need help out here. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“You knew what I was doing,” Even says. “Observation’s a skill in itself.”

“That I can do. No one has much interest in talking to me, so I get to watch how you all talk to each other.”

“And?”

“And I know that you’re talking to everyone. I need someone like you to charm everyone into doing what we want. That’s not really a skill I have.”

Even takes a beat before responding, a small smile lifting his lips. “Do you think I’m charming, Isak?”

“To people who’ll fall for it? Sure.”

Given how fucking torturous his feelings for Jonas are, Isak’s sworn off falling for anything or anyone else. His feet are tethered and bolted to the ground, with some superglue thrown in there for good measure. He cannot risk hurting more than he already does.

Even’s smile fades at that, ending in a shrug. “If you want to work with me, I want to work with you,” Even says. “We’ll start by looking for this idol together.”

“And we’ll share it.”

Even nods and extends his hand for Isak to shake.

If this ends in Isak holding onto the idol, he’ll only play it for himself or Jonas. Everyone else is as disposable to him as he is to them.

If it ends in Even holding onto the idol, Isak will tell enough people to either orchestrate his blindside or, at the very least, flush the idol. He doesn’t trust Even to play it for him.

As the sun gets higher in the sky and more of their tribe mates get up, Isak and Even agree to temporarily halt their search.

But even without the idol, Isak feels more powerful than he did last night.

\---

Taagat has an unfair advantage going into the immunity challenge.

Their tribe name literally means _power_ in Fijian Hindi. Isak knows it to be true in Jonas, both physically and mentally: he has the strength to accomplish even more than he needs to. Listening to Elias talk about her, he suspects the same is true of Sana.

Sachchaai means _truth_. Which is pretty fucking useless in Survivor.

“How was your first night at camp?” Mutta asks Taagat before explaining the challenge.

“Actually, it was pretty great. Sana took charge of the shelter,” Yousef says. Like brother, like sister. “And it’s like staying in a hotel.”

Well, there’s one difference. Elias’s shelter is a piece of shit.

“And Jonas got the fire started,” Noora adds.

Isak is not surprised, but a little disappointed they couldn’t switch roles and let Isak be the provider for once.

 _You’ll be that for Jonas once you win the game,_ he reminds himself. _Forget about your fucking tribe._

“Sachchaai, what’s it like to compete against your partners?” Mutta asks.

“I’m not even thinking about it,” Isak says. “I’m Sachchaai strong.”

Isak’s lie is met with a chorus of agreement from people who are also likely lying.

“Did you manage to get fire?” Mutta asks.

“We did,” Elias answers. “We’re full, well-rested, and ready to compete.”

So much for the fucking _truth_ tribe.

“Then let’s get to your first immunity challenge,” Mutta says.

The challenge has three parts. First, the entire tribe needs to climb up and down the other side of three A-frames, each steeper than the last. Once they’ve cleared the third, everyone but two tribe members must tug a crate of puzzle pieces to the end of the course. The two remaining tribe members then solve the puzzle.

Explaining the challenge takes considerably longer in reality than it does on TV. Mutta walks them through each part of it, answers questions, and even lets them watch a couple of interns complete it. After that, they’re given time to strategize.

“Who’s confident in puzzles?” Eskild asks. “The answer is not me.”

Isak is, but he’s not confident that volunteering for them is the best Survivor strategy. Challenges almost always come down to the puzzle, so if they lose, it’s on his shoulders and it would be easy to vote him out.

But if they win, Isak can prove he adds value to the tribe and secure his safety for weeks to come. 

“I’ll do it,” Isak says.

“Are you sure?” Elias asks. “Because Sana solves them in her sleep. Can you go up against that?”

If Isak wasn’t confident before, he’s damn determined to prove himself now. “Yes.”

Sara’s the other volunteer, and it occurs to Isak that he’s never solved a puzzle with another person. Taagat chooses Sana and Noora.

“In addition to immunity,” Mutta says when they’re finished strategizing. “You’re also playing for reward: fire in the form of flint.”

Isak’s sure that Eva, Chris, and Eskild’s not-exactly-subdued reaction gives away the fact that they didn’t actually get fire.

“Survivors ready…go!”

Isak sprints up the first A-frame, momentum carrying him and the rest of his tribe to the top. His legs burn as he slides down the other side, which is unfortunate since he needs them for the rest of the challenge. 

He makes it up the second A-frame as well, with some help from Even’s hand. He reaches down to pull Mikael and Eva up as they struggle to scale the ramp.

“Taagat working very well as a team!” Mutta yells. “They’re almost over the third A-frame!”

It just makes Isak run faster, but it’s impossible for anyone to get enough momentum to sprint up the third A-frame. “We need to use each other,” Chris says as Mutta yells, “Sachchaai needs to help each other up!”

“Climb on my shoulder,” Isak says to Mahdi. “If we get you at the top, you can start pulling people over.” Beside them, Elias is climbing on Even’s shoulder.

As Mahdi’s foot crushes Isak’s shoulder, he wonders if Jonas always feels like he’s carrying that much weight.

When it’s only himself and Even left on the ground, Even boosts him up before Isak can ask him to. He doesn’t know whose hand ultimately pulls him over, but they’re all reaching for him.

It’s a new experience.

Isak’s glad to sit out the next part: he needs to catch his breath and talk himself out of self-reflection in the middle of a challenge. Taagat has a slight lead, and they start on the puzzle first.

“Watch them,” Sara whispers. “I’m not above cheating.”

Isak may not like her, but he is reconsidering her usefulness to his game.

Watching them, he thinks Sana works quickly but not carefully enough. Noora’s slower, a bit more thoughtful. As their pieces come together, it’s clear it makes them a hell of a team.

“Let’s go!” Isak yells to his tribe. “You’ve got this!”

From the sidelines, Jonas shoots him a _who the fuck are you right now_ look.

When they finally get their crate, they first have to untie the knots that are sealing it. As Sara whips through hers, Isak knows he’s taking too long to even find the start of his.

“Isak is really struggling to untie a knot!” Mutta says. “The easiest part of this challenge!”

“Let me do them,” Sara says as she finishes with her. Isak moves aside, glancing at the puzzle Sana and Noora already have half-solved. Once the crate is open and they’ve dumped the pieces out, Isak works fast to replicate what Taagat has.

“Sachchaai is copying Taagat’s puzzle,” Mutta says. “The question is: does Taagat have it right?”

Isak doesn’t think that’s true. Even if they’re wrong, at least they’ll lose their lead.

Isak discovers that he works well Sara: she has a better grasp of the big picture than he does, able to vocalize what each section of the puzzle should look like. With those pictures in mind, Isak’s able to fit the pieces together.

The rest of his tribe, however, is less helpful.

“You need to switch the top and bottom corners!”

“Look at Taagat’s! It’s different!”

“Get the piece by your feet, Isak! By your feet!”

“Can you shut up so we can focus?” Isak says.

“Isak’s getting very frustrated with his tribe!” Mutta says.

“You’re frustrating me too!” Isak yells.

Mutta laughs. “It’s going to be a long season, Isak.”

“Can we get a check?”

Sana’s voice brings everyone to a halt. Mutta examines their puzzle, then throws his arms in the air. “It’s good! Taagat wins immunity!”

Isak knows he’s a terrible tribe mate when his first thought is: _at least Jonas is safe._

But it’s hard to watch Taagat walk away with flint they don’t need, and to hear Mutta say, “I’m sorry Sachchaai, but I’ve got nothing for you except a date with me tonight at tribal. You have the afternoon to figure out what you’re going to do.”

All Isak knows at this point is that he’s going to find that immunity idol. 


	4. Easy Votes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak refuses to let his tribe get away with an easy vote.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this was fun. I know there's been a lot of set-up, but this is when the snaking really begins. Enjoy! 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).

When Sachchaai arrives back at camp after the immunity challenge, everyone waits for Isak to apologize.

Which he’s not going to do.

They didn’t lose because of him and Sara; they were behind the entire challenge. If he’d had the headstart Taagat did, he's confident he would have solved that puzzle faster than Sana and Noora. 

Elias, of course, is the first to speak.

“Hey, everyone did a great job today. This wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“No one said it was,” Sara says, ending the circle-jerk before it starts. “I’m going to fill up the water bottles. Anyone want to come?”

While Isak wants to talk to Sara, he doesn’t want everyone to see them go off together before any conversations have happened. When no one volunteers to accompany Sara, it’s clear the rest of his tribe feels the same way.

“I will,” Eskild says once the silence moves from uncomfortable to excruciating. Everyone splits up after that—Chris and Eva; Elias, Even, and Mikael—leaving Isak alone with Mahdi.

“It’s Sara tonight, right?” Mahdi asks.

Isak shrugs. “They’ll probably tell us ten minutes before tribal.”

“I’m glad our opinion’s so valued on this tribe.”

Honestly, Isak’s used to it. He’s never asked what he wants, how he feels, or even how he thinks.

He’s always had to manipulate his surroundings to suit his needs. He can do the same here.

Mahdi’s poking at their old tinder nest with a stick as though it will magically ignite. “I’m going to look for some more bark,” Isak says.

“Cool. I’m going to start this fire through sheer willpower.”

Isak salutes him because Mahdi’s laziness only works to his benefit. The more frustrated they are with him, the less attention they’ll pay to Isak. And for now, it gives Isak a chance to look for the idol alone.

On the show, it looks as though castaways have to search the whole beach for idols. In reality, entire sections of the beach are off-limits to them. It ruins the magic, sure, but it does makes Isak’s task less daunting.

He also knows that production wants idols to be found: they make the game more interesting. It’s not going to be under some random tree that looks identical to those on either side of it. It’s going to be easier than that.

Isak climbs a few rocks to get a better view of the beach, looking for the tree that’s a little different than the others, the one that doesn’t quite fit in with the rest. He spots one that’s leaning like it’s about to break.

And it makes him a little emotional, but he blames hunger for that.

Isak scans his surroundings to ensure no one’s watching him, trying not to be disappointed that no one is. Not even Even. He reminds himself that’s good for his game even if it’s shit for his self-esteem.

Isak walks to the tree like he’s out for a stroll so he doesn’t draw attention to himself, though he thinks he’d need to hold a neon sign that says _LOOKING FOR THE IDOL_ in order to do that. Once he’s there, he starts digging, a jolt going through him once his fingers touch wood.

Holy fuck. He actually did something right.

As he marvels at that fact, awarding himself more praise than he deserves, he hears footsteps behind him. Isak quickly pulls the idol out of the ground, shoves it into his shorts, then kicks sand over the hole to cover the evidence.

“I was just looking for you.”

This is the first time in Isak’s life that someone’s looked for him, but did it have to be _now_?

It’s Sara, and Isak doesn’t understand how he’s both relieved and disappointed that it isn’t Even. She hands Isak his now-full water bottle, then looks between Isak and the tree.

Isak’s out, but it’s not like he introduced himself by saying, “By the way, I like guys.” So, he’s hoping Sara will assume the extra-large bulge in his shorts is because of her.

“Any idol under there?” she asks.

Isak shakes his head. “No such luck.”

“Too bad. I think we both need it.” Sara waits, like she wants Isak to speak before she continues.

He gives her an, “Oh.”

And that seems to be enough. “I know my name’s been thrown out,” she says. “But yours has too, Isak. It’s me tonight, but who do you think they’ll target when I’m gone?”

“Who is ‘they’ here?” Isak asks. His goal is to get Sara to talk as much as possible without saying much himself.

“Elias, Mikael, and Even. They’re running things right now.”

Isak waits.

“Isn’t it obvious what they’re doing?” Sara says. “Those three are tight, but they’re making people like Eva and Chris think they’re an equal part of the group. Eva and I literally talked for hours last night, but after her, Mikael, and Chris hung out this morning? Suddenly I don’t exist anymore.”

Isak’s been so caught up in the idol that while he had a vague sense of how people were grouping together, he overlooked the nuances of how those groups were shifting.

He needs Sara’s perspective.

“You and Mahdi are the only ones who don’t buy into it,” Sara says. “I need your help to survive tonight, and you need my help to survive the next tribal.”

Isak knows she’s right. He’s at the bottom of the tribe, and even with the idol, he needs to flip the power to have any hope at playing a long-term game.

“We’re only three, though,” he says. “What can we do?”

“On our walk to the well, Eskild told me he’s here to make ‘big moves.’ I don’t think he even cares what the move is. As long as we propose something dramatic, he’ll be on board.”

If that’s true, that changes everything.

Isak’s not going to waste his idol on Sara, but if they think she might have one, they’ll split the vote. That way, if Sara plays the idol, someone like Mahdi or potentially himself will still go home. If they believe Eskild and Isak will vote with them to get rid of Sara, they’d likely divide it so it's four votes for Sara and three for Mahdi. In Isak's plan, it would be two votes for Sara, three for Mahdi, and four for whoever Isak decides to get rid of.

Isak may have failed at the puzzle in the immunity challenge, but he’s solved the one that matters.

“Who would we get rid of?” Isak asks. “Elias?”

Sara shakes her head. “He’s going to annoy everyone soon enough. I’m more scared of Mikael and Even: they have a better social game.”

Even is Isak’s in on the other side. As dangerous as he is, Isak wonders if it’s too soon to lose the one person he might have a little pull with. “Mikael’s the one who stole Eva from you.”  

“Then Mikael it is,” Sara says. “What are you thinking? If they split the votes, but we have four…?”

Isak nods, letting Sara draw her own conclusion instead of explaining it to her. She’s not who he’d choose to be on the same page with, but at least he has someone.

“Can we pull that off?” Sara asks.

“I can. Just let me talk to Even.”

\---

“I was just looking for you.”

Isak’s never felt as popular as he does before tribal. Even better, this time it is Even. “Same.”

Even raises his eyebrows, clearly pleased. Isak’s looking forward to the way he’ll look after tribal.

They’re in the shelter together as the rest of their tribe is either in the water or, presumably, looking for the idol Isak already found. “I can’t find that idol,” Even says. “It's not because you found it, is it?"

Isak laughs. “No, I wish. I’ve literally been looking for it all day.”

“It can’t be that hard to find.”

“I think someone already has it.” Isak gestures to Sara, floating on her back like she’s just enjoying a day on the beach. “Doesn’t she seem too relaxed? She’s not stupid. She has to know it’s her tonight."

Even nods. “We were talking about splitting the votes. Just in case.”

“Oh yeah? Do we have the numbers for that?”

It hurts Isak’s soul a little to play stupid.

“If you’re part of _we_ , then yes.”

Isak gestures to the empty space around them. “Who else do I have, Even? I meant what I said this morning. I want to work with you.”

Isak thinks he’s just pathetic enough for Even not to question it. “Ok, then we have you, me, Mikael, Elias, Eva, Chris, and Eskild. Sara and Mahdi might vote for each other too, but I’m sure Sara’s trying to pull something off.”

“Doesn’t matter. She doesn’t have the numbers.”

“That’s true. You don’t want to vote for Mahdi, right?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Ok. Then you, me, Eskild, and Elias will vote for Sara. Eva, Chris, and Mikael will vote for Mahdi. If Sara plays an idol, Mahdi goes home.”

Isak means it when he says, “Sounds perfect.”

\---

After talking to Even, Isak only has quick conversations with what’s becoming his alliance.

He assures Sara that they’re splitting the votes and that Even believes he and Eskild are in on that plan. 

He tells Mahdi not to get paranoid and vote against Sara. Mahdi shrugs and says, “You’re the only person I have to trust, so I’ll trust you.”

He has his first one-on-one conversation with Eskild, where he simply asks, “Are you going to do it?”

Eskild almost looks offended when he replies, “I’m always going to do it."

_Whatever the fuck that means_ , Isak thinks, then hangs around Even and Mikael until tribal. He wants them to think he’s as desperate to be in their alliance as he is to destroy it.

From watching the show, Isak thought they walked to tribal, but a Jeep picks them up instead. The night still feels magical, though. It’s his first tribal, he has an idol in his pocket, and he’s orchestrated a blindside.

At tribal, Mutta instructs them to grab a torch and dip it into the fire. “Fire represents your life in this game,” he says. “Once your fire’s gone, so are you.”

Isak’s fire is only starting to burn.

“So, Sachchaai,” Mutta says. “Let’s talk about your first night at camp. Elias, you have shelter, fire—it sounds like things are going pretty well.”

Elias laughs. “Yeah, that was bullshit. We don’t have anything.”

Mutta’s eyes go a little too wide: he overreacts to everything. It’s probably in his contract. “Why lie about that at the challenge?”

“We didn’t want Taagat getting too confident,” Elias says.

“But you still lost the challenge,” Mutta points out.

“Sure, but we did well until the puzzle. Nothing against Isak or Sara: Sana’s just too good at them.”

Isak literally has to bite his tongue. They did _not_ do well until the puzzle, but if Isak stands up for himself, he’ll also be standing up for Sara. He can’t let anyone think they’re working together at this point.

“Let’s talk about the challenge,” Mutta says. “Even, it seemed to take you awhile to figure out how to work together.”

“It was our first challenge as a tribe,” Even says. “It took us longer, but we know what to do for next time. Everyone’s getting along well, so—”

Sara interrupts him with a laugh, causing Mutta to shift his attention to her. “You want to respond to that?” he asks.

“No one likes me,” Sara says. “I have no doubt I’m going home tonight.”

“Really?” Mutta says. “Is it that obvious?”

“It’s not that no one likes you,” Eva says. “But even when we hung out the first night, you were so negative about the rest of the tribe. We hadn’t even played a challenge yet.”

“Interesting social game, Sara,” Mutta says.

“I probably played too hard at first,” Sara says.

“It sounds like an easy vote, but has there been any talk of idols?” Mutta asks, and Isak’s surprised by the laughter he receives. Maybe there’s been more talk than even he’s aware of.

“Of course,” Eskild answers. “It wouldn’t be Survivor without talk of idols.”

“Who do you think has one?” Mutta asks.

“At this point, I’m so paranoid that I think you have one,” Eskild says.

“Well, just a reminder you can’t vote for me,” Mutta says. “But with that, it is time to vote. Isak, you’re up first.”

He can’t fucking wait to tell Jonas that he cast the first vote of the season.

Isak writes down Mikael’s name, then holds it up to the camera and says, “Mikael, I’m voting for you because everyone likes you more than they like me.”

Once the entire tribe’s voted, Mutta grabs the urn to tally the votes. “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now is the time to do so,” he says.

Sara shrugs, wearing a premature smirk. Isak can’t fault her for it: he is too.

“Ok, I’ll read the votes.”

The votes go Sara, Mahdi, Sara, Mahdi, and then Mikael. Then it’s a third vote for Mahdi, followed by a second for Mikael.

By the third vote for Mikael, Isak swears he feels Mikael stiffen behind him. At the fourth and final vote, he feels Even’s eyes on him and hears Elias say, “What the fuck?”

The beautiful sound of a blindside.

“Mikael, that’s four, that’s enough,” Mutta says. “You need to bring me your torch.”

Mikael gives a gracious goodbye, specifically wishing Even and Elias luck. Isak doesn’t mind: they’ll need it.

“The one benefit of coming to tribal is that you get flint,” Mutta says, tossing it to Chris. “I’ll just say that if tonight’s proved anything, it’s that there’s no such thing as an easy vote on Survivor. You can head back to camp. Goodnight.”

They’re not permitted to talk on their ride back to camp, but Even’s quick to pull Isak aside once they arrive.

“Nice play,” he whispers. “But you probably should have gotten rid of me.”


	5. Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to control flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait--it's been a busy week! Enjoy! :)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).

Isak knows his reaction to Even’s threat isn’t normal.

And he knows there’s probably a deep, psychological reason for it that stems from his troubled childhood, but he has no interest in discovering what that is. He’s still hoping there’s a loophole in his contract that will get him out of the post-show therapy sessions.

Isak is excited to have an enemy.

People have always talked around and about him: _he’s annoying. He’s too needy. Jonas, do you think he might be holding you back?_ But Even’s saying it right to him: _I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. It’s my mission to vote you off this island._

At least he’s fucking direct. It gives Isak permission to retaliate. With everyone else, he has to play stupid to keep the peace, like he doesn’t know the entire world is trying to get him out of their lives.

Isak’s working on the fire because he kind of feels like he can do anything after Mikael’s blindside. He scrapes his knife against the flint, letting magnesium powder fall into the tinder nest. He turns the flint around, striking the rounded edge until a spark catches the powder.

Isak’s so excited by the flame that he almost extinguishes it. “I’ve got it!” he says to anyone who will listen. “Can someone help?”

Even comes over with more kindling. He places it on the fire, taking care to arrange it in a way that’ll give the fire the most fuel. Isak notices the way Even’s hands, already coated in dirt like his own, treat each twig with the same gentleness you’d use with a lover.

He’s careful, slow, smart—strategic. He’s an exciting enemy to have.

“You know I had your back,” Even says.

Isak’s laugh is automatic. Jonas is the only one who’s ever said that and not later proved it to be a lie. “Right. And you were going to share the idol with me, too.”

“I was.”

"If you’re going to lie, at least be convincing." 

“They were going to split the vote between you and Sara,” Even says. “But I argued that you were more useful than Mahdi. You did well on that puzzle: we were just behind. And you do more than he does around camp. I haven’t lied to you, Isak. I thought we were going to work together.”

“Bullshit. You lied to me when you tried to find the idol without me,” Isak says. “We were never going to work together. You thought I’d do whatever you said because you have pretty blue eyes and a nice smile.”

Even shows off that nice smile, teeth and all. “You’ve noticed my eyes?”

Isak rolls his own. “Just because you’ve been in my line of sight.”

“Because I’ve noticed yours, too.” The fire’s starting to really catch, moving with the wind. “But I guess we’re never going to happen now, are we?”

“No.”

Isak doesn’t say it because they’re arch-rivals in this artificial game. That doesn’t mean shit once it’s over and they return to the real world.

He’s always done well for himself at bars, getting a few numbers, a couple of kisses, and sometimes something more in the bathroom. But he knows to end it there, because if he was actually _with_ someone else, he’d have to explain everything refuses to talk about.

Like how sometimes he needs to text someone in the middle of the night just to know there’s someone else there. Or how he stocks up on canned food when he does groceries because he’s used to the unpredictability of unpaid power bills. Or how he gets into shows like Survivor because he’s more comfortable watching people hurt each other than love each other. He gets too jealous with the latter.

Jonas never asks why Isak’s still awake: he just replies. He once Googled _ways to make canned food not taste like shit_ and sent the link to Isak. And now, he’s indulging Isak’s obsession by playing Survivor with him.

Isak would also have to explain to a hypothetical boyfriend that he would never love them as much as his straight best friend, and isn’t that the most fucking tragic thing they’ve ever heard?

As the wind picks up, Even works his fingers around the flames like he’s sculpting it back into place. Isak’s not convinced it’ll be effective. “What are you doing?” he asks.

Isak swears that Even blushes, unless the heat’s turning him red. “Trying to control the flame. I’m not sure it’s working.”

When they’re content the fire will survive without their care, Isak and Even join the rest of the tribe in the shelter for the night. Since they’re the last ones in, they end up beside each other again.

The fire gives off some warmth, but it’s not the magic fix Isak was hoping for. He can’t help shivering.

“I know we’re sworn enemies and all,” Even whispers. “But I still don’t like seeing you shake like that. Can I…?”

Isak rolls closer to him, relaxing as Even’s arm finds its way around him. Everyone’s spooning one another: Isak will have plenty of options for warmth once Even’s gone. This doesn’t change anything.

As Even’s fingers work their way up and down Isak’s torso, Isak whispers, “I’m still getting you out next.”

“Me too. Now close those pretty green eyes and get some sleep.”

Isak keeps his eyes open, focused on the fire outside. He hopes it’s possible to control a flame.

\---

“We have work to do.”

Isak’s eating rice for the first time on the island. It’s a luxury he hoped to enjoy alone on the beach, but Sara joins him as soon as she's scooped out her serving.

“Can’t we bask in our victory?” Isak asks. “We blindsided the other side. We have fire. We have _food_. Everything’s good.”

“Oh my God, I’m going to vote you off if you’re actually that stupid. We don’t have time to be cocky.”

Isak is _not_ that stupid, but he is tired and hungry, which he’ll concede hurts his brainpower. “Getting rid of Mikael was huge for us.”

“I agree, but now we’re four against four. Someone has to flip, and we need to make sure it’s not someone from our side.”

“Mahdi can’t stand Elias. And Eskild’s not going to go back after betraying them.”

“Eskild’s going to do whatever seems most exciting in the moment. He’s not loyal. We need to get him involved in flipping someone to our side.”

“Even and Elias won’t flip. So, Chris?”

“No. Eva.” It occurs to Isak that when Sara said _we have work to do_ , she meant that she had a plan to convey to him. It irritates him, but he’ll let Sara make herself the bigger target. “I know girls like her. She’s so desperate to be part of something that if I convince her we’re best friends, she’ll do whatever we want. Ingrid’s like that.”

It’s a shitty way to think of your best friend, and while Isak thinks Jonas is a better person than to ever think that way of him, even hearing it is unsettling. Unless that’s the way the rice is sitting in his stomach.

“She didn’t seem to like you at tribal,” Isak says.

“Oh, I can fix that. I’ll tell her I regret how I played the game in the beginning, mostly because it ruined the friendship we were building.” Sara gives a smile anyone but Isak would think was sweet. Isak knows better because he has a similar one. “I won’t talk game at all so it sounds sincere. I need you to do that part.”

Isak’s much better at that than sincerity, anyway. “Even’s alliance is selling kumbaya, we’re-all-equal-here bullshit,” Isak says. “I’ll show her we have a clear hierarchy and that she’s above Mahdi and Eskild. If she’s tight with you, she’ll think she’s above me too.”

Isak says it hoping he’ll solidify that he’s running this alliance with Sara, which she confirms with a nod. “Even’s alliance,” Sara repeats. “Do you think he’s in control? Not Elias?”

“Absolutely. Elias isn’t that smart.”

“Then he’s next.”

Once Even’s fire is extinguished, Isak won’t have to worry about controlling it.

\---

When Isak walks into the immunity challenge and sees the relief on Jonas’s face, he knows this is a moment he’ll replay over and over again when he watches the show.

They’re still in this together.

“Taagat, getting your first look at the new Sachchaai tribe,” Mutta announces. “Mikael voted out at the first tribal council.”

But that changes Jonas’s expression to furrowed eyebrows and a small frown. He’s one of a few to reach out to Adam, but his hand stays on Adam’s shoulder the longest.

And Isak worries he made a mistake.

“Adam, how are you doing with this news?” Mutta asks.

“It sucks,” Adam says. “I don’t know what else you want me to say. It just sucks.”

“Jonas, what’s it like wondering if you’ll see your partner at the next challenge?” Mutta asks

“It’s hard, but what can you do?” Jonas says, shrugging. “Someone’s going to lose their partner every tribal. That’s the game.”

Isak knows they’re downplaying their relationship, but Jonas better not be so fucking nonchalant if Isak gets voted out.

The immunity challenge involves rolling a giant ball through two gates and over a bridge. After that, two tribe members must travel from one platform to another on top of the ball, holding onto a rope for support. Once they’re on the second platform, they have to toss five rings onto poles. The first tribe to land all of their rings wins immunity, along with the reward of fishing gear.

“I have a good arm,” Mahdi says. “I’ll go on top of the ball.”

“Me too,” Isak says. “I have good balance.” Thanks to practicing with Jonas at the skatepark.

He can tell his tribe is skeptical, but no one else is volunteering, so that settles it. Taagat sits out Noora because they have one extra member, and they choose Vilde and Sana as their throwers.

So Isak’s against Sana again, but he’s going to win this time.  

The ball’s heavier than Isak expected, but with an entire tribe pushing it, they clear the gates and bridge without much difficulty. Isak joins Mahdi on the top of the platform, graciously letting Mahdi go first so he can learn from his mistakes.  

Mahdi struggles on top of the ball; it has too much momentum, making him lose his footing. When he’s barely hanging on by the rope, Isak says, “You need to slow down. You’re using too much force.”

“Slow down, slow down!” Elias repeats, and they listen. Mahdi regains his footing just as Taagat delivers Sana to the second platform.

When it’s Isak’s turns, he knows he has to make up time. He grips the rope and bends his knees, lowering his centre of gravity like he’s on a skateboard.

And it seems to work.

“Isak’s making up a lot of time for his tribe!” Mutta yells. “He’s great at riding the ball!”

“I have some experience!” Isak retorts.

His tribe delivers him to the second platform seconds before Taagat delivers Vilde. Isak throws with urgency, but a distinct lack of aim. Mahdi fares better, scoring two just as Sana scores three.

“Isak, focus!” Even yells. “Just look where you’re throwing. You can do this." 

Isak focuses on the pole, throws, and lands a shot just as Mahdi lands another. Vilde lands her first a moment later.

“We’re tied!” Mutta says. “Someone’s going to win it right he—”

But he can’t finish his sentence, because Mahdi’s scored the final point. Isak watches in satisfaction as one of Sana’s rings land on a blue pole a second too late.

“By a _hair_ , Sachchaai wins immunity!”

Isak celebrates, because this is fucking _great_ for him. It gives him and Sara time to solidify their alliance and work on Eva. He doesn’t even care if they lose the next challenge. They’ll be in the perfect position to get rid of Even. 

But Isak knows Jonas as well as Jonas knows him, and he knows the look Jonas is wearing right now. He’s nervous.

If Jonas’s fire goes out, Isak’s goes with it.


	6. Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak convinces himself he'll be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back, sorry for the wait! Life's been a little crazy and I didn't have energy for this fic, but Australian Survivor has perked me up and I'm excited again. :) That said, since Sachchaai has immunity, this is a bit of a set-up/filler chapter. Hopefully you'll enjoy it! 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).

“It’s really fun here when you don’t have to stress about tribal.”

Chris voices the mood around camp. Everyone’s sitting around the fire, chatting and laughing, friendly like they’re about to make s’mores and start a fucking singalong.

Isak is so comfortable being stressed that he’s uncomfortable when he isn’t. There is always something to worry about, something that could go wrong, and it’s better if he prepares himself for it. If he can’t control the situation, he can at least control his reaction. _Ok, your dad left, but you could feel this creeping around the corner months ago. You’ve already been hurt by the idea, so the reality doesn’t have to hurt as much. And you prepared, you hacked the password he used for everything (it’s not you), you fixed the faucet he was supposed to fix last week, you were a little better to your mom. You will be fine, so now you’re free to stress about falling in love with your best friend again._

Ok. If Jonas leaves, Isak will be fine. He’s fine without him on Sachchaai. It might even benefit his game: he’s less of a threat without a partner.

But as much as Isak wants the money, and the title, they’re not really what he’s here for. He’s here to share an experience with Jonas that no one else will. Something that will make it harder for Jonas to leave him. It’s all a little pointless if they never get to play on the same tribe.

The only thing Isak can do to help Jonas right now is ensure his own safety. So, that’s what he’ll do.

Isak’s trying to plot his master plan, but Even’s laughter is too fucking loud and somehow contagious. He’s lifting everyone's spirits, relaxing them—and how do they not see through it? Even seems relaxed too, which Isak will make him regret later.

Other than Isak, Eva’s the only person not really joining in. She’s poking at the shelter’s roof, exposing cracks. “We’re not always going to be this lucky with the weather,” she says. “We’re fucked if it rains.”

Isak knows that when everyone ignores what you say, it’s louder than when people actually respond. He can dull that noise for Eva.

“We have some palm leaves we can weave,” Isak says. “We can build a stronger roof.”

“You’ll help?” Eva asks.

“Yeah, of course.”

He follows Eva out of the shelter, carrying the leaves to the shoreline so they’re a safe distance away from the rest of the tribe. As Isak murmurs some pattern of _under, over, under_ to himself while the leaves slip through his fingers, Eva works quickly, completely focused on the pattern in front of her.

“You’re good at that,” Isak says.

Eva smiles at the compliment, then gestures to her own braided hair. She did the same to Sara’s earlier today, when the two of them had a long, private conversation in the ocean. When Isak asked Sara about it, she said it went well, but Eva still spent the rest of the day with Chris. “Thanks. Lots of experience. My hair’s thick, but Noora’s is so thin it doesn’t hold much style.”

It’s not the most natural of segues, but Isak recognizes it. It’s the way he slips Jonas into conversations, a declaration of _look, I can’t be totally fucked-up if this person is my friend_ ; a desire to talk about the best thing in his life. Though, it might not be that complicated for Eva. She might just be proud.

While Sara told Isak his job is strictly game-talk, he’s beginning to think he has more to offer Eva than that. “Are you worried for Noora?” he asks. When she hesitates, he adds, “Because I’m fucking terrified for Jonas.”

Eva finally looks up from her weaving. “Really? Because no one else is acting like their partner could be going home.”

“They’re under Even’s spell.”

“He’s charming, isn’t he?”

And now Isak thinks that Sara may not have given Eva enough credit. When you’re desperate to fit in, you don’t question those that accept you.

“He makes me nervous,” Isak says.

“Everyone makes me nervous,” Eva says.

Or, you question everyone who accepts you because you’re used to people fucking you over. Maybe Isak will win Eva over by cutting the bullshit.

“I need you in my alliance,” Isak says.

Eva laughs, surprised. “Ok? Straight to the point. I like it. And why do I need to be in your alliance, Isak?”

“Because Even’s looking for sheep who will all get along and do whatever he wants. I’m looking to actually work with people.”

“You can’t work with who you have now?”

“Eskild wants to make dramatic moves instead of smart ones. Mahdi couldn’t give two shits as long as it’s not him. Sara’s good, but I don’t think I can trust her long-term.”

“And why would you trust me?”

“Because I can tell we’re having a real conversation right now without the shit I get from everyone else.”

Eva turns her focus back to her weaving. “Ok. I’ll need to think about it.”

She knows she’s the swing vote, and she knows not to give too much away. It’s frustrating, but it makes Isak that much more desperate to get her on his side. She’s smart.

But if he presses on with game-talk now, she’ll understand how desperate he is, only giving her more power. Isak switches to a subtler strategy.

“Do you really think it’ll be Noora tonight?” he asks.

“I honestly have no idea. She’s smart, but she’s the kind of threat people get rid of at this stage. I don’t like that she sat out the challenge.”

“Yeah, but that’s oldschool Survivor. Some people get rid of challenge threats early because they’re already thinking about the merge.”

“Is that why you’re worried about Jonas?”

“I think I’m always going to be worried about Jonas.”

“Me too. About Noora. No offence, but I’m not too concerned with Jonas.”

“None taken. I hope Noora stays, though. She seems really cool.”

Though Isak has absolutely nothing to base that on, Eva doesn’t call him on it. “She is the best person I’ve ever met.”

“How did you me—”

“Hey. Having a nice chat?” Even sits down on the other side of Eva, grinning like the shit he is. He gestures to the leaves. “Can I help?”

“Have at it,” Eva says.

Even’s good at weaving, too. Apparently, Isak’s fine motor skills do not compare to the rest of his tribe’s. He will never volunteer to untie knots in a challenge again. “So, how is Isak trying to woo you over to the other side?” Even asks.

“Well, he doesn’t like you,” Eva says.

“It’s mutual. Let me guess, though. He’s promised that you, not Sara, not Mahdi, will actually be his number one? Partners in crime?”

Isak doesn’t know if Even eavesdropped or if he’s just that predictable.

“Something to that effect, yes,” Eva says.

“Hm. It’s a nice offer, really. I’d consider it, especially if he trusted you enough to tell you about his idol.”

 And, fuck. _Fuck_. Isak reacts on instinct. “I don’t have an idol.”

Even pulls the idol clue out of his shorts and hands it to Eva. “I found this and showed it to Isak. We were going to work together until he voted against Mikael. Since then, I’ve dug under every tree on this beach, but I still can't find the idol. So, process of elimination. Where do you think it is?”

“You have it,” Isak says. “And you’re trying to pin it on me.”

“You can search all my stuff. Pat me down if you want.” Though Even’s working on Eva, he directs the last bit at Isak. “I don’t have the idol. If Isak really wanted to work with you? He’d come clean about it.”

The problem is, Even’s not wrong. Isak can either double-down on his lie and hope Eva believes him, or tell her about the idol and hope she doesn’t fuck him over. It’s a lose-lose situation.

“Anyway, I’ve said what I wanted to,” Even says, standing up. “Eva, find me later if you want to talk. Isak, find me later if you get cold.”

That fucking _asshole_ —and does he always have to smile? It’s hard to be pissed at something that sweet-looking, even when Isak knows it’s a façade.

“Oh my God,” Eva says once he’s gone. “You two are going to fall in love.”

“Yeah, no.”

Unlike Even, Eva only gives genuine smiles. “Do you have any idea how many romantic comedies I’ve seen?”

“This isn’t a movie. It’s Survivor.”

“You even have a tagline!”

Isak rolls his eyes, but laughs with Eva once she laughs first. He likes her. She is not desperate to fit in. She wants to be part of something where she’s respected as an individual.

Fuck it. He won’t win if he doesn’t take any risks.

“I have the idol.”

Isak doesn’t know if she’s surprised by the information or by him sharing it, but she's definitely caught off-guard. “Oh?”

“Even’s right. I need to prove that I’m serious about this, so there it is. I’m trusting you with my only safety in this game.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“No.”

"Not even Sara?"

Isak shakes his head.

Eva’s too quiet after that, running her fingers through the ocean like she’s asking it to make noise for her.

“Did I just fuck myself over?” Isak asks.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, Isak. I don’t know which side I want to be on, but I like you being here.”

 _I like you being here_ might be a line or it might be total bullshit, but Isak knows it means more to him than it should.

\---

After another night under Even’s stupid arm, reminding himself that he’d be _fine_ without Jonas instead of sleeping, Isak is panicked walking into the immunity challenge. Maybe he will be fine if Jonas is gone, but he’d prefer to be good. Great’s a bit of a stretch for him.

“Sachchaai, getting your first look at the new Taagat tribe,” Mutta says.

They’re led by Sana, followed by Yousef, then Vilde, Adam, Noora, Ingrid, Linn, and finally, Jonas.

Isak’s going to fucking kill him for walking in last.

He doesn’t realize who left until Mutta announces it. “Magnus voted out at the last tribal council.”

Despite the reassuring hand Isak puts on Mahdi’s shoulder, mimicking what Jonas did for Adam because Jonas has the whole _support_ thing mastered, he’s happy about this. It just means Mahdi has to be more loyal to him post-merge.

Isak still doesn’t like groups of three.

“Mahdi, what’s your reaction to this?” Mutta asks.

“I don’t know what happened,” Mahdi says. “Magnus was a superfan. I’m only here because he needed a partner.”

Isak suspects Magnus did what every superfan does: played too hard, too fast.

“So what happens to your game now?”

“Now? I guess I’m in it for myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It breaks my heart a little to send someone from Taagat home without letting you see them play. RIP Magnus, you were the victim of limited POV.


	7. Fighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Isak always assumes everyone’s fighting against him. That’s how he survives."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the most fun I've had writing this fic thus far. Enjoy!

The Survivor producers hacked Isak’s fantasies.

The immunity challenge is essentially a game of basketball where the court is the ocean and tackling is encouraged. They play the challenge in the shifts: each tribe has two teams of one thrower and three players in the water. Mutta tosses the ball into the ocean, then the players in the water fight to pass the ball to their thrower. When someone scores a basket, the teams switch. The first tribe to five baskets wins immunity and a reward of blankets and pillows.

Something to keep Isak warm instead of Even. Sachchaai has to win this one.

Isak’s team is up first. Elias is throwing, and Isak’s in the water with Sara and Eva. On Taagat, Sana is throwing, and Jonas, Linn, and Vilde are in the water.

“Interesting strategy,” Sana says to Elias. “When was the last time you won against me? I’m having trouble remembering….”

“Don’t worry,” Elias says. “You’ll remember today.”

There’s a smile between them, the kind of laughter Isak’s never been comfortable enough to share with anyone—not even Jonas. He used to want a sibling, someone else who’d know exactly what it was like to live in his house. Jonas tried, but he had a mom, dad, and sister who ate dinner at the table, went on family vacations, and worried about poor kids like Isak. He could never really get it. Maybe if he had a brother or sister, Isak could laugh with someone about how fucked up his life was.

Then again, Isak thought he was pretty selfish to wish that on another person. It was for the best that he was alone.

Sana and Elias are the only pair that are actually blood. They’re too close, and Isak knows it’s crucial to split them up. After voting out Even, of course.

Mutta tosses the ball into the ocean, but Isak lets the girls chase after it as he goes straight for Jonas in the name of _defense._ He moves behind Jonas, throwing his arms around him to lock him in place. It reminds Isak of when they were fourteen and he told Jonas he was trying out for the wrestling team, so could Jonas help him practice?

It’s possible Jonas has caught on to his crush.

“What’s happening at Taagat?” Isak whispers. To their tribes, it looks like Isak is holding Jonas back from going for the ball, but Isak’s grip is loosening and Jonas isn’t exactly resisting.

“I don’t know. There aren’t clear sides. Everyone was united against Magnus, so I have no idea what’ll happen at the next vote.”

“Are you with Adam?”

“Ah, kind of. Maybe. I’m closest with Yousef.”

Well, why wouldn’t he be the closest with the best friend of Isak’s sworn enemy? Why the fuck would Isak expect something to be simple for him? “ _Yousef_?”

“He’s loyal. He’s the only person I trust completely, and he says Even’s the same way. Try to keep him around. If the four of us are together in a tribe swap or after merge? We'll dominate."

“Sara loses the ball, and it’s free again!” Mutta says, and Isak remembers they’re in the middle of a challenge. Before he can explain that Even is actually trying to thwart Isak’s every move while charming him with late-night cuddles, Jonas smirks and breaks out of Isak’s grasp.

“Sorry!” Jonas yells, but he doesn’t seem it when he grabs the ball, tosses it to Sana, and cheers when she scores a basket.

“You fuck,” Isak says as they come out of the water.

Jonas shrugs. “Hold me tighter next time.”

And God, Jonas doesn’t know that he can’t say shit like that, but _he can’t say shit like that._ Because it’s going to be hard to compete in this challenge with a fucking boner.

It doesn’t matter in the end, though. Taagat has more physical strength, and when Sana throws, she doesn’t miss. They win 5-1, and not only does Sachchaai have to go to tribal council, but Isak still has to rely on Even for warmth.

On the walk back to camp, Isak re-evaluates his game given the new information he has. Jonas is not secure at Taagat, but he’s confident in Yousef. Even might be targeting Isak _now_ , but if they end up on the same tribe as their partners, Jonas will not go against Isak, and Even will not go against Yousef. Jonas is right: they could work together—as long as Isak convinces Jonas to cut Even before Even convinces Yousef to cut Isak.

It’s risky to play off secondhand information, even if it’s from Jonas. Jonas is trusting, and it’s possible Yousef is _Even-ing_ him. Plus, there’s no guarantee the four of them will ever play on the same tribe.

But if they walk into the next challenge without Even, Jonas’s face is going to be worse than when they walked in without Mikael. Worse, Jonas might realize Isak went against him.

And Isak can’t do that to Jonas. He just fucking can’t. 

If Isak has Eva, he has the majority, and Elias might be a better target than Even regardless. Isak knows how strong he’ll be when he gets to play with Jonas, and Isak suspects Elias and Sana have the only bond that rivals theirs. And, Sana’s winning challenges for Taagat. If Elias leaves now, they can weaken her, and weaken the entire tribe as a result.

Isak doesn’t mention Jonas when he proposes changing the target to Sara, just Elias and Sana’s bond.

Still, Sara’s response is to narrow her eyes at Isak. “What did Even say to you?”

“Nothing,” Isak says. “The challenge just gave me a new perspective.”

“So Even’s not whispering sweet nothings in your ear?”

“When Even whispers in my ear, he’s telling me he’s going to vote me off.”

“I’m worried you’re being hasty.”

“I was being hasty before because Even pisses me off. This is smarter.”

The more Isak says it out loud, the more he convinces himself it’s true.

“Well, I can’t stand Elias,” Sara says. “And they both need to go, so…ok. I’ll trust you on this one.”

Isak does not thank Sara for her incredible generosity. “I think Eva’s more likely to go along with it, too. She likes Even more than Elias. I’ll talk to her, play it off like we’re coming up with the idea together. Make her feel like she’s part of the team.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Isak shakes his head because he wants Eva to think she’s his number one, not Sara. And if this vote goes well, he might actually want that to be true. “You need to stay close to Mahdi and Eskild. Just in case Even tries to pull something.”

“The boring job.”

“I am sure you will find a way to make it more than it has to be.”

Isak doesn’t know if he intends it as an insult or compliment, but he leaves before Sara can fire one back at him.

Isak approaches Eva as she’s talking to Chris, inviting her to fill up water bottles with him. When they reach the well, he pulls his idol out of shorts.

“In case there was any doubt,” Isak says. “I’m in this with you.”

Eva nods. “What’s your plan for tonight?”

“I actually wanted to ask you that. Everyone knows Even and I have a… _thing_ , and I’m worried it’s affecting how I see the game. Maybe he’s not the biggest target here.”

“Because it’s you?” Eva asks with a smirk.

Isak laughs. “Fuck no. I’m scrambling for my life here. I’m only a threat if I’m playing with you.”

“What a line.”

“It’s true, though.” Isak holds up his idol. “This? This buys me a couple days. We could help each other get the entire game.”

“As long as we vote the right person off tonight.”

Isak’s confidence grows with the use of _we_. This is working. “I think it’s dangerous if we only focus on Sachchaai as it is now. You know there’s going to be a tribe swap on a blood vs. water season. They want to fuck with the dynamics.”

“So who is the biggest threat if they get reunited with their partner?”

“Who do you think?”

“Elias is always talking about how smart Sana is like an idiot.”

“And she’s so good at challenges.”

“We could weaken her now.”

Isak smiles like this concept is only occurring to him as Eva says it. “I say we do it. Let’s send Elias home tonight.”

“What about Even, though? We don’t know how close he is to Yousef.”

If Eva’s going to use any secret against Isak, it’ll be the fact that he has an idol. He may as well make another confession. “I talked to Jonas as the challenge.”

“Really? That’s fucking bold.”

“It was worth it. He told me Yousef’s barely mentioned Even. I don’t think they’re close at all. That’s why Even’s working everyone else so hard.”

Sometimes people lie in confession.

“Ok, it doesn’t take this long to fill water bottles,” Eva says. “We have to get back. Unless I hear differently from you, I’m voting Elias tonight?”

Isak nods.

“Just…make sure you bring that with you?” Eva taps on the idol. “I’ll try to let you know if I hear anything, but don’t think those guys aren’t fighting.”

Isak always assumes everyone’s fighting against him. That’s how he survives.

\---

When Isak returns from his walk with Eva, Sara’s in the shelter with Mahdi and Eskild. Good. “Well?” Sara asks.

“We’ve got Eva,” Isak says.

“And it’s Elias?”

“It’s Elias.”

“Can you involve me in the scheming next time?” Eskild asks. “I’m so bored out here.”

Isak extends his pinky finger, and Eskild locks his own with it. “Promise. You too, Mahdi?”

Mahdi shakes his head. “You guys want to do the work, make yourself targets, and keep me safe? Why the fuck would I argue with that?”

Sara’s called Mahdi dead weight, but he’s loyal dead weight. Isak knows that’s valuable.

There’s no other scrambling before tribal council. Eva hangs out with the other side like she’s still with them, but as far as Isak’s seen, Even hasn’t tried to recruit anyone in his alliance. Are they counting on a tie vote? Are they hoping to _draw rocks_? Isak can’t believe they’ve resigned themselves to losing a number, so he sticks the idol in his bag as they head out.

\---

“Welcome back, Sachchaai,” Mutta says.

“Lovely to be here,” Even says with that fucking grin of his. Isak contemplates if it’s too late to change his plan out of sheer annoyance.

“You sound like you mean it,” Mutta says.

“That’s how he always sounds,” Isak says. “That’s how he’s convinced everyone to join his cult.”

Mutta looks between them, eyes wide. “Wow. I haven’t asked a question yet, and there’s already tension.”

“Try sleeping in the shelter with them,” Eskild says. “There’s so much sexual tension and they’re not taking advantage of any of it. I, personally, think it’s wasteful.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “That’s not what it is.”

“Even?” Mutta asks.

“Can I plead the fifth?”

Everyone laughs and fuck, _he is doing it again._ Everything is calculated with Even, especially his flirting. It’s not fucking sincere. “Well, he wants to vote me off,” Isak says. “I don’t think it’s because he’s harbouring a secret crush.”

“Oh, I’ll happily tell everyone why,” Even says. “Mutta? Can I?”

“You two seem to have this hosting gig under control,” Mutta says.

“I was working with Isak, then he blindsided me with Mikael’s vote,” Even says. “He also has the idol we were going to share. Pretty obvious why I can’t trust him.”

“You are so desperate to make people think I have the idol,” Isak says. “And it’s obviously because you have it.”

“Can I empty my bag right now?” Even asks.

Mutta’s caught off-guard, but ultimately shrugs. “I don’t think that’s against the rules? Sure.”

Even stands up and turns his bag upside-down, dumping the contents onto his seat. “Everyone, take a close look,” Even says, and people do. “I don’t have the idol.”

“It could be in his shorts,” Isak says.

“Mm, I’d show you, Isak, but I’d rather be in private for that. Now, why don’t you empty your bag? If you absolutely don’t have the idol.”

Isak’s annoyance is making it hard to think.

“You know what? Fuck it.” Isak dumps out his own bag, holding the idol up. “Everyone, take a close fucking look.”

“Wow,” Mutta says. “So, Isak—wait, Even did you just whisper to Elias?”

“Yeah,” Even says. “We need to factor this into our plan.”

“You don’t know if he’s going to play it,” Mutta says.

“It all factors in,” Elias says because he hasn’t spoken yet.

Isak’s getting a little paranoid. If he has Eva, they have the majority, and nothing’s changed other than his blood pressure. But as well as their conversation went, maybe she told everyone about the idol and planned this whole thing—

And now Even’s whispering to her. _Fuck._ Then, she whispers to Eskild which— _double fuck._ He wanted to be involved in the scheming. He’s here to make big, stupid moves. Isak shouldn’t have trusted Sara to watch him.

Isak has to play the idol, but they’re going to expect him to play it for himself. Maybe they’re voting for Sara instead—but Even knows Isak isn’t stupid. He’s probably expecting that Isak expects them to vote for Sara, but they’ll actually vote for him.

“I can’t keep up with this,” Mutta says.

“Try actually playing the game,” Isak says.

“How many more conversations need to happen before we vote?” Mutta asks. “Or are we ready?”

“I’m ready,” Even says. “I’m excited.”

“Ready,” Isak says. Because at this point, anything else is just going to confuse him. He knows what he’s going to do.

“Then let’s vote.”

Isak casts his vote for Elias as planned. After the votes are cast, Mutta brings the urn back and says, “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.”

Isak’s watched past Survivor contestants play coy before they turn in their idol, but he practically bolts off his seat. “I’m not going home with this in my pocket,” Isak says as he passes it to Mutta.

“I can confirm this is a hidden immunity idol,” Mutta says. “Any votes cast against Isak will not count. I’ll read the votes.”

It’s three for Elias, then one for Sara. And Isak knows he fucked up.

There’s a fourth vote for Elias, then the rest are for Sara. It’s a tie, but it’s not the worst case scenario. At least only one of Isak’s alliance members flipped. “We have a tie,” Mutta says. “Everyone but Elias and Sara are going to vote again, and you can only vote for Elias or Sara.”

If they tie again, the tribe has to come to a unanimous decision about who to vote off, and there’s no fucking way that will happen. In that case, they have to draw rocks, and the player who draws the odd-coloured rock goes home. Isak would be safe with his idol, and Elias and Sara would be safe as the two people who received votes. Isak doesn’t know who in his alliance remained loyal, but if he fucks them over by leaving their fate up to chance, he’ll lose them for sure.

He has to flip.

“I don’t think you flipped,” Isak whispers to Eva. If Sara’s leaving, he really needs her. “But I’m voting Sara now.”

“I voted with you,” Eva whispers. “But I’ll flip with you now. We’re in this together.”

That leaves one person in their alliance out of the loop, but Mutta’s already calling Isak up to vote.

So when Isak casts his vote, he yells.

“Sara, I’m voting for you to save the rest of my alliance.”

“Isak, you’re a dick,” she yells back. But, whatever. It’s not like they were going to be best friends after this.

It ends up being a unanimous vote for Sara, who does not follow Mikael’s example of a graceful exit. As she leaves, Isak processes the new state of his game.

He’s in the minority.

He doesn’t know who flipped.

He doesn’t have an idol.

And there’s still fucking Even, who nudges Isak as they leave.

“Wasn’t that fun?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I 100% stole Isak yelling his vote for Sara from Australian Survivor. Let's call it inspiration?
> 
> Find me on [tumblr.](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	8. Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's ready to lead the resistance.

On the ride back to camp, Isak decides his reaction to tribal council will be not to react to it. 

Everything he did at tribal council was reactive, from showing the idol to flipping his vote to Sara. And, it did no go particularly well for him.

He needs to show his allies, whoever the fuck they are, that he’s solid, that he can make a plan, commit to it, and follow through on it no matter what bullshit Even throws his way. If the other side sees that as well, maybe someone will want to work with Isak’s reliability instead of Even’s spontaneity.

It’s not like Isak needs to start the conversations that need to happen, anyway. The moment the producers permit them to talk, Eskild asks, “What happened? Who flipped?”

Which instantly makes Isak suspicious. The first person to place the blame on someone else is usually the person who deserves the blame.

“It wasn’t you?” Mahdi asks.

“Why would I change sides just to change back?” Eskild says.

“For the drama of it all?” Eva says.

“I flipped in the first place because I didn’t have any influence on the other side,” Eskild says. “I want to make moves, and _this_ is the side I can make them on. At least, I could if you’d include me in the planning. I could have prevented this.”

“How, Eskild?” Mahdi says. “How could you have prevented this?”

“Well, I’m more experienced than Isak. After much struggle, I’ve learned how to keep low, charming voices out of my head.”

“This is my fault?” Isak says. “If the five of us voted the same way, we’d be fine. Fuck the idol.”

“How do we know _you_ didn’t flip?” Eskild says. “You were so quick to change your vote after the tie.”

“Why would I use the idol if I wanted Sara gone and knew they were voting against her?”

“…To throw us off?” But Eskild doesn’t even seem convinced by his own theory, so he shifts his attention to Eva. “You whispered to me they were voting Isak.”

“And I told you to stick to our plan because I knew you’d want to be included once the whispering started,” Eva says. Isak probably should’ve realized that about Eskild as well. “Even wanted me to believe he thought I was still on his side, but he knew I flipped. He was trying to throw me off so I’d tell Isak to use the idol on himself.”

“Why didn’t you?” Isak says.

“Because I don’t believe a word he says? You shouldn’t either, Isak. Just stop entertaining him.”

Isak knows she’s right.

“I don’t get why no one’s owning up to this,” Mahdi says. “If you’re on the other side, go be on the other side. We already know we’re fucked.”

“They’re trying to play both sides,” Eva says. “It’s stupid, though. No one’s going to trust you if you don’t commit to anyone.”

But what this person—or, Isak thinks, Even’s influence—has done is create distrust among everyone in Isak’s alliance. It leaves each of them vulnerable, a bit more malleable, easier to persuade.

Fuck that.

“I don’t care who flipped,” Isak says. “We lost you for one vote, but whatever, it’s over now. If the four of us stick together on the next one? We have the majority. And I really, _really_ want to take Even down.”  

“Maybe rephrase that last bit,” Eskild says. “But I agree. Let’s take out the biggest player in the game.” Taking his cue from Eva, Isak knows he needs to prioritize making Eskild _feel_ like the biggest player in the game to keep him close. Reality be damned.  

“Once that happens, the entire game changes,” Eva says. “And then we can flip all over the place, but if we don’t get him out now? He’ll pick us off one-by-one. I bet I could even get Chris on board.”

“So, it’s like a voting bloc,” Mahdi says. “Instead of an alliance.”

Oh, God: _Survivor discourse._ Isak’s had too many debates with Jonas about whether there’s actually a difference between a voting bloc and an alliance. A voting bloc is a group of people who work together to take out a specific target, but aren’t necessarily loyal to one another beyond that. An alliance actually works together and looks out for each other. So, _they’re the same fucking thing_ —a voting bloc is just an alliance that doesn’t last very long. Jonas argues that alliances are different, and ultimately better, because they’re built on trust and that’s stronger than a shared goal.

Maybe Jonas sees it differently because he’s had a solid alliance his entire life in his family. There was a time Isak was aligned with his mom, but her illness shifted her loyalty from him to the ideas in her brain. There was a time Isak was aligned with his dad, but his cowardice shifted his loyalty from Isak to himself. They got him to a certain point in his life, then left him on his own. It doesn’t mean the trust and support was never there. It just ended when their priorities changed, and Isak’s come to expect that.

It’s why he works so hard to remain Jonas’s priority.

“Whatever you want to call it,” Isak says. “Can we all agree to it?”

There are enough nods for Isak to consider it a promise. As the clouds that have been hanging over them all night break open and it starts to rain, they move inside the shelter to sleep.

The weather’s made it colder, but Isak makes a point of keeping some distance between himself and Even. When Even reaches towards Isak anyway, Isak rolls as far away as he can—almost falling out of the shelter in the process.

“You’re just going to freeze?” Even asks.

“I’m fine.”

“You’d sound more convincing if your teeth weren’t chattering.”

And Isak is tired, and he is hungry, and he is fucking freezing, so he lets himself react a little. “Can you stop fucking with me?”

“What?”

“I know you don’t like me, so just…stop with the bullshit. Ok?”

“Why do you think I don’t like you?”

“Were you at the last tribal council?”

“So what, you’re mad I outsmarted you in the game?”

 “ _No_.” Or, maybe a little. “You don’t need to mess with me so much.”

“You’ve messed with _me_ , Isak. I thought you liked playing the game like this. I thought we were having fun.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“Because it’s only fun when you’re winning.”

Isak is either too tired or too wrong to think of a rebuttal, so he goes with, “Goodnight, Even.”

“Yeah. Ok. Goodnight, Isak.”

As the night goes on and the rain gets heavier, Isak tries to count his goosebumps instead of sheep, but he keeps getting distracted by the noises Even’s making beside him. He’s tossing and turning, breathing a little too hard, and just like Isak, his teeth are chattering.

He’s so cold. And, Isak’s not an asshole. He really tries not to be an asshole.

So, he rolls over and puts his arm around Even, pulling their bodies together. For once, Even doesn’t have a smart remark. He just quiets.

Isak finds it a little easier to sleep after that.

\---

If Isak’s learned anything about Jonas’s game from observing him in challenges, it’s that he can’t learn anything about Jonas’s game by observing him in challenges.

He comforts Ingrid the same way he comforted Adam, who he is _kind of, maybe_ working with. He couldn’t be standing farther from Yousef, who seems preoccupied with Sana.

Ingrid doesn’t seem that surprised that Sara’s gone, but she smiles a little wider under Jonas’s touch. Isak understands the reaction, but it’s not her reaction to have. No one but Isak can really understand the comfort of Jonas’s hands.

“Today we’re playing for reward,” Mutta says. “Want to know what you’re playing for?”

Isak and Jonas always said they’d yell _No!_ if they ever got cast on Survivor, but they’re both too caught up in the promise of food for that.

Mutta reveals hamburgers, veggie burgers, chips, and soft drinks to wash it all down. Isak always thought the food on Survivor rewards looked better than what was in his house, but he had no idea how good it would look on a stomach of coconuts and rice. It might not be an immunity challenge, but winning will give them the fuel they need for the next one.

The challenge involves carrying a ball on a small platform through an obstacle course. Five members on each tribe carry the ball by holding onto rope that’s tied to the platform. Once they reach the end of the course, the two remaining tribe members take turns throwing the ball at five targets. The first tribe to knock down all the targets wins.

Yousef and, of fucking course, Sana, are throwing for Taagat, and Vilde’s sitting out. Mahdi and Eva are throwing for Sachchaai, leaving Isak on the _teamwork_ part of the challenge despite his less-than-positive feelings towards his tribe.

“We just need to communicate,” Chris says before they start. “Then we’ll be fine.”

But she jinxes it, because the moment Mutta yells _go_ , Elias says, “Let’s take our time,” as Eskild says, “Let’s power through.” The competing speeds sends their ball to the ground immediately.

“Ok, everyone take a second to get comfortable,” Even says. “I’ll call the steps. Only speak up if you need slack or resistance. Sound good?”

Even doesn’t wait for an answer before he starts instructing them to take small steps, then larger ones, then quick ones, then slow ones, always in unison. They maneuver across balance beams and ramps, keeping their ball steady as Taagat stumbles.

“Isak, can you give me some resistance?” Even asks.

It takes Isak a second to realize he means _in the rope_ , but he tightens his grip just before the ball slips off the platform.

They only drop the ball once more before they reach the end of the course, a full obstacle ahead of Taagat. Eva’s hit two targets before Sana touches the ball, then Mahdi hits the third. The final score is 5-2, and as Isak joins his tribe for a group hug, he’s kind of proud of what they’ve accomplished together.

His mood only improves when they’re taken to a location away from camp with more food than seven people could possibly eat. It’s all smiles and laughter as they toast their victory, so Isak’s almost surprised when Eva pulls him aside for a walk after the meal. They might be feasting, but they're still playing the game. 

“You trusted me, so I’m trusting you,” she says, opening her hand to reveal a rolled-up piece of paper. “I found this in the napkins.”

And Isak's confident she's not the one who flipped. 

“What is it?” he asks, looking over his shoulder. Everyone’s safely oblivious in their food comas.

“I don’t want to open it until we’re back at camp. We’ll do it together.”

“This could save us.”

“Maybe. Listen, I don’t trust Mahdi or Eskild, but I trust you. We’re not a voting bloc or whatever Mahdi said. We’re an alliance.”

“Agreed.”

Just as Isak’s feeling optimistic about his game again, he spots a boat coming towards them. He assumes it’s their ride back to camp until he sees Mutta on it.

“Enjoy the reward?” Mutta asks once he reaches shore.

“I feel like you’re about to tell us we’re going to have tribal council right now,” Eskild says.

“No, but I do need you to make a decision,” Mutta says. “I’m here to take everyone but two people back to camp. Those two tribe members will stay here overnight.”

While the reward was nice, the beach isn’t exactly set-up for camp. There’s no shelter or fire. It’s like exile island, but crueler because they’ll have to stare at the empty plates of food they already ate.

There’s a catch. There has to be. Maybe they’ll spend the night with two tribe members from Taagat. Maybe they’ll join Taagat in the morning. Maybe there’s an advantage other than the one Eva found somewhere on the beach.

“Will they come back in the morning?” Elias asks.

“Can’t tell you that,” Mutta says.

“Will anyone from Taagat join them?” Isak asks, trying not to sound too hopeful.

“Can’t tell you that.”

“I’ll do it,” Even volunteers. “I don’t want anyone else to have to spend the night here.”

How fucking noble. He’s going to need some resistance.

“Me too,” Isak says.

“I’d stay too,” Elias says. “Didn’t realize you needed to be so keen.”

“No, it should be someone from each side,” Eva says. “Even and Isak should stay.”

“If you want to stay…?” Even offers Elias, but Elias shakes his head.

“No, you take it. I was just trying to save you from Isak.”

Even smiles. “You know, I think I can handle it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A filler-ish chapter, but the next one should make up for that. :) Find me on [tumblr.](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	9. Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot more was going to happen this chapter in terms of game play, but Isak and Even had more to say to each other than I originally planned. :) You'll still get the game play next chapter, but for now, enjoy the change of tone. 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak takes comfort in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

It proposes that humans’ basic needs, such as food, shelter, and safety, must be met before they will desire their secondary needs, such as belonging, love, and self-esteem. And Isak kind of thinks it's bullshit.

But it is a nice concept, the idea that as long as he is fed, warm, and protected, he’ll be fine. Everything else is just a bonus. Some people can’t even fulfill their fundamental needs, so really, he’s been pretty lucky.

He understands that now that he’s on an island without food, shelter, and—well, there’s never any safety on Survivor. The night’s barely begun, but it already feels oppressively long. He and Even tried to get a fire going, but it's near impossible without flint, especially given how wet everything is from last night’s rain. They’ve managed to build something like a tent by leaning branches against a taller tree, but it’s not so much a shelter as it is a placebo effect. And while they ate at the reward, it turns out hamburgers do not sit particularly well on empty stomachs. 

Isak’s sure there’s another advantage or idol hidden somewhere, but he hasn’t left Even’s side, nor has Even left his. They’re sitting together in their makeshift shelter, close enough that their shoulders touch. It’s not because they want to be together. It’s because they ultimately want to be rid of each other.

“We have to talk,” Even says. “Otherwise tonight’s going to last forever.”

“Definitely don’t want that.” Isak talks to the ground, careful to avoid pretty blue eyes. “But what the fuck do we have to talk about, Even?”

“The game?”

“You’re coming after me, I’m coming after you. Pretty straightforward. Unless you’ll tell me who flipped, you don’t have anything for me.”

“Ok. It was Mahdi.”

Isak looks up, meeting pretty blue eyes. _Damn it._ “What?”

“You asked.” Even shrugs. “And it was Mahdi.”

Of all the options, that makes the least sense. Mahdi’s the only one who never had any allegiance to Even’s side, he hates Elias, and he never seemed that interested in playing the game. “You’re fucking with me?”

“No? I thought he was going to come clean to you, but since he didn’t, he’s clearly trying to work both sides. Probably didn’t think we’d compare notes, but he probably didn’t think we'd spend the night alone together either.”

“But you didn’t even talk to him after the immunity challenge.”

“Do you think I wait until we lose immunity to make plans? You’ve got to watch players like Mahdi. They’re not quiet because they’re not thinking.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Can you save your commentary for your Survivor podcast?”

“How’d you know about Drop Your Buffering?”

“Oh my God.”

Even nudges Isak’s shoulder with his own. “Ah, so that’s what it sounds like when you laugh. Good to know.”

“It’s not my real laugh. It’s my I-can’t-believe-how-obnoxious-you-are laugh.”

“I’ll take what I can get from you. Anyway, I told Mahdi he should be nervous about how hard you were working Eva, that it was clear you never intended to make him your number one. And, if he needed more proof? I knew about your idol, Eva knew about your idol, but he didn’t. I promised him we’d vote Sara because I knew he’d do that before he’d vote for you. It was sheer luck that Magnus left. Mahdi was ready to play his own game.”

“If you were always going to vote Sara, what was with the whispering at tribal?”

“To make you paranoid enough that you’d play your idol on yourself.”

Well, _fuck._ Isak fell for every single part of it.

“Come on,” Even says. “Aren’t you going to give me some kudos? That’s multilevel game play.”

“Yeah, but now you’re spilling your secrets to the enemy because you want to brag.” And Isak’s sure Mahdi will be very interested to know that Even sold him out.

“We don’t have to be enemies.”

“Yeah, ok. We’ve been through this before.”

“I’m serious. I know we’ll never have an alliance, but we could form a—”

“If you use the term voting bloc, I swear to God—”

Even’s mouth hangs open, eventually settling into a smile. “I would never. Listen, right now we have a mutual enemy in Mahdi. I don’t trust him, and last night proved you can’t either. We’re always going to be coming after each other, but at least we know where we stand. I’d rather get rid of the snake.”

“How do I know you’re not setting me up?”

“There are only three things that could happen at the next tribal. I leave, you leave, or Mahdi leaves. Let’s take control of our fate." 

Isak’s not exactly sold. Mahdi surprised him, but once he hears about this conversation? He’ll be on board to vote Even out. Eva’s advantage might help them, too.

But, it’s better if Even doesn’t think he has to scramble.

Isak extends his hand to Even to shake. “Truce?”

“Truce.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes after that. Even draws something in the sand with his finger—a circle, no, a face, a face with two small circles for eyes and a straight line for a mouth. “Can you turn your face towards me?” he asks. “I want to get your particular brand of grumpiness right.”

“Fuck off.”

“Yeah. That’ll do.”

So, Isak gets revenge by drawing his own picture. “I’m making the circle really big,” he says as he runs his finger through the sand. “Because you have a big head.”

“But not a round one, apparently.” Isak glares at him, which makes Even narrow the eyes on his own drawing.

They’re quiet for a bit longer this time. While Isak could tease Even for hours, he doesn’t want Even to do the same to him. “Ok, you’re right,” Isak says. “We need to talk. As an aspiring podcaster, I’m sure you have topics ready.”

“Of course. Why’d you come on Survivor?”

For his game and his pride, Isak decides to leave Jonas out of his answer. “It’s kind of cheesy.”

“I love cheesy.”

“I don’t know. I like the idea of being the sole survivor. Because I’ve always had to do things on my own, so I want to prove that I can? That I’m fine by myself?”

“So, either that you’re independent or really fucking lonely.”

“Either or.”

“I get it, though. If you’re going to be alone, you want to know that you’ll be ok alone.”

“Yeah, but you don’t actually get it.” Isak sits up straighter, frustrated by Even’s claim that he _understands_. And he knows it makes him sound like a fourteen-year-old boy to say it, but no one but Isak can truly understand what he’s gone through. “You’re the charming guy that everyone loves even though you can be a dick. You don’t really know what it’s like to be alone.”

That changes Even’s expression to one Isak hasn’t seen on him before. Sad, maybe nervous? He doesn’t like it. At all. 

“I’m sorry,” Isak says. “I shouldn’t assume—the game’s not real life. I don’t know anything about your real life.”

And, ok, Even’s smile is back. It’s still obnoxious as hell, but it suits him better. “What do you want to know, Isak?”

Isak points to the sand portraits in front of them. “Don’t you have an arts degree? This is the best you can do?” Because it’s easiest to go back to teasing.

“Well, I didn’t major in sand. But yeah, I do want to be some sort of artist. I want to share how I see the world. Maybe it’s arrogant of me to assume anyone will be interested in that.”

“Arrogance is on brand for you, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“What about you?” Even asks. “What’s your goal?”

“Scientific discovery? I don’t fucking know. I’m researching the multiverse theory for my master’s, but I don’t even know what I’m trying to prove. I just think there has to be more than this universe." 

At least, Isak hopes so. It’s too fucking sad if there isn’t.

“Multiverse?”

“Like parallel universes? So in another universe, there’s another Isak and Even—”

“But they’re playing Big Brother?”

“Fuck, I hope not. But, yeah. Exactly.”

“No wonder you’re lonely. You always feel irrelevant.”

“No, it’s not like that. It’s more like—maybe there’s a universe where I am relevant, you know?”

“I know you’re relevant in this one.”

Isak doesn’t have a response to that. He just thinks it would be nice if he could believe it. 

“Can I ask you something?” Even says in Isak’s silence, not waiting for a response before he continues. “Why do you have so much trouble sleeping?”

Isak turns towards Even, surprised. “You’ve noticed?”

“Isak, you’re under my arm every night. No one sleeps great out here, but you’re so restless. I try to run my hand down your back to soothe you a bit. I don’t know if it works. I don’t know if you’re aware of it.

“I am.” Because he’s been awake through all of it. “It’s not that it doesn’t help, but—there’s no magic fix. Unless you know how to stop thoughts?"

“No.” It’s the first time Isak’s heard Even’s laugh without any humour in it. Like his earlier expression, Isak's doesn't like it. “I wish. When I’m manic? I have all these thoughts and ideas, more than I can keep of track of, and I have to act on them right away. It’s impossible to sleep.”

“Manic?”

“Yeah, I’m bipolar. So, not being able to stop thoughts? I understand that.”

Isak’s almost been tricked into thinking they’re alone out here, but he catches a camera in his peripheral vision. He’s not going to disclose everything about his family, but he wants to tell Even something.

“I don’t think it’s arrogant for you to make art,” Isak says. “Because the more people understand how people different from themselves see the world, the more we can help each other.”

“ _Wow_. You are cheesy.”

“Fuck off.”

“That’s more like it.”

Even laughs, but the humour’s back, and Isak wants to be closer to the sound. He leans in as Even does the same, keeping his eyes down even though he can feel Even’s on him. Just as Even’s reaching to tilt Isak’s head up, Isak hears something.

It’s a boat. And it snaps him the fuck back to reality.

Isak shakes his head because God, this place has them fucking delusional. Even doesn’t know Isak at all, and Isak doesn’t know Even at all. They are just two people playing a game together.

“Did you hear that?” Isak asks, standing up and walking towards the ocean.

“Unfortunately," Even says as he follows. 

At first, all Isak can make out is three figures. “It’s probably Mutta,” he says. “With two members from Taagat?”

“Shit. I was hoping for a night alone together.”

As the boat gets closer, Isak lets himself get excited. Fuck whatever just happened with Even—literally, _fuck it_. Isak should know better: there is nothing more insincere than Even’s sincerity. It’s exactly what he’s been warning the rest of his tribe about. Even’s danger is his compassionate charm, the kind that makes you believe he’s fully invested in whatever you’re saying.

There is only one person Isak can trust, period. He can’t forget that.

Which is why it’s so fucking heartbreaking when Even says, “I think it’s Yousef and Noora.”

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is, unquestionably, bullshit.

Because while Isak might feel sick, hungry, cold, and paranoid, the loneliness still hurts the most.


	10. Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak finds a new ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, we are very much back to the game now. :) I wanted to get this update out now because the rest of October's pretty busy for me, though I still hope to at least post one update a week. Enjoy!

Isak knows he’s being unfair.

It’s risky to volunteer for the unknown. Maybe Jonas is in a good position at Taagat and didn’t want to fuck with that. And Jonas didn’t know anyone from Sachchaai would be here, let alone that it would be Isak. It was probably the right decision for his game.  

That is more important than how Isak feels right now.

It is not fair to be mad at Jonas for this. Isak remembers the day they moved in together, how angry he felt when Jonas said that he was going to spend the night at his parents’. It made sense: they still had furniture to move in the morning, including Jonas’s bed. They didn’t even have Wi-Fi yet. Plus, his family wanted to have send-off dinner for him as though he was moving to another country and not fifteen minutes away. 

Isak, of course, was invited, but he couldn’t explain how lonely that would feel to Jonas. Just like he couldn’t explain that being in alone in his new home was just too fucking familiar. Or that yeah, he didn’t want to spend the night in their apartment either, but he didn’t have anywhere else to _go_.

Isak watches Yousef and Even, rehashing an old story from school about some film Even made. Every now and then, Even will look over at Isak and explain—something about Sarah Palin and kittens dying of AIDs—but Isak recognizes the gesture. When Isak went to those family dinners with Jonas, they’d tell embarrassing childhood stories, detail their latest trip as though they weren’t all there, laugh at the beginnings of jokes they didn’t need to complete, then awkwardly ask Isak, “How’s school going?”. It’s not to include him; it’s to make themselves feel inclusive.

Even’s different with Yousef, laughing in a way that crinkles his eyes. He listens more than he talks, and when he does talk, it’s full of pauses and _uh_ ’s: a stark contrast to the cocky remarks Isak’s come to expect. It’s not because he’s nervous. If anything, he seems more comfortable, relaxed enough to lean back on his elbows and watch the waves as Yousef talks.

If Even is not the person he presents himself as in the game, his confidence doesn’t come from arrogance. It must have another source.

Desperation. He is scared of Isak, and Isak will give him every reason to be. This is not real life, it is Survivor, and Isak has somewhere else to go.

After the last tribal, Isak has given up on any plans to ever work with Even. He can’t trust him, and because of that, he doesn’t trust Yousef’s long-term loyalty to Jonas either. Whether Yousef and Noora end up on Sachchaai or Taagat in the morning, Isak suspects they’ll be together, meaning Noora’s his best chance to get rid of Yousef. That would not only hurt Even, but it would force Jonas to realign with someone else—ideally, Noora herself.  

Since Yousef and Noora arrived, the four of them have sat together, all honouring an unspoken agreement not to talk game. But, Isak has his strongest ally’s girlfriend sitting right beside him. Why wouldn’t he take advantage of that?

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

Even though Isak only poses the question to Noora, it quiets Even and Yousef.

“Uh, sure?” Noora says, glancing towards Even and Yousef. It’s a little risky to leave them alone, but they’re already aligned. All they’re going to do is swap information, and if Yousef mentions his alliance with Jonas? Maybe that will shift Even’s target away from Isak, at least temporarily. There is the danger of it going the other way with Even convincing Yousef to target Jonas, but Isak knows better than anyone how solid Jonas is once you’re close to him. It would be a tough sell.

“Ok,” Isak says once he and Noora are alone. “First, you need to know that Eva’s my closest ally in this game. As far as I’m concerned, that means we’re working together too.”

“Or that you want to vote me off so she’ll be closest to you?” Noora asks, which actually reassures Isak. She’s smart, too.

“No. Eva would never forgive me for that.”

Noora smiles at that. “She is loyal.”

Well, Even might argue that, but Isak doesn’t care about the finer details as long as she stays loyal to him. “I don’t know what’s going to happen in the morning,” Isak says. “Whatever tribe you’re on, I want you to be in a good position for what you want in this game. What’s your plan right now?”

Whatever it is, Isak will shape it into his own.

“Honestly?”

“Preferably.”

“Taagat has the ‘we’re a family’ mentality, but there are eight of us. Someone has to be on the bottom, and I think it’s me or Linn next unless we convince people to take out threats before the merge.” That’s good for Isak, too: if he helps Linn through this, he’ll earn more points with Eskild. “I volunteered for this because I need any advantage I can get.”

“Why do you think Yousef volunteered?”

“He didn’t want anyone else to suffer through it.”

Isak laughs because that is fucking perfect. “Weird, because Even said the same thing. Nice, charming guy? A true martyr for his tribe? I call bullshit.”

Noora _hm_ ’s about this for longer than Isak has patience for. “I think Yousef’s sincere."

“I don’t think you can trust sincerity in Survivor.”

“Maybe not.” Noora bites her lips, looking towards the ocean like she’s thinking. Isak wants her to talk first so she feels heard, but God she takes a long time to get a sentence out. “It’s interesting, though. Yousef is close with Jonas, but he’s starting to get close to Sana, and they’re definitely not going to work together.”

“You don't think?"

“No, they're too similar. Strong in challenges, good around camp, and they both seem loyal. It’s a question of who more people will go to.”

Jonas, of course. Isak has all the faith in the world in him. “I know you want to take out big threats, but if you get rid of both of them, you’re fucked in challenges.”

“I know.”

“So, who would you go to?”

“I don’t really talk game with either of them. But….”

Isak ages ten years in the time it takes Noora to finish her thought.

“Sana’s cool, but Jonas and I have bonded more? I’m trying to be a journalist too, so we have that to talk about. And if you’re aligned with Eva?”

“Absolutely.”

“The choice is pretty obvious.”

Isak smiles. “I really think the four of us could go far together if we play the next moves right.”

“I’d be open to that.” Isak expects to guide the entire conversation, but Noora surprises him by taking charge. “What do you the right move is?”

“I know how dangerous Even is, and I’m starting to think Yousef’s the same way. Whoever loses immunity, whatever tribe we each end up on, we’ve got to get one of them out next.”

“How is Even dangerous?”

If Isak wants this to work, he has to commit. So, he relays all of Even’s sins to Noora, then makes his final argument. “Eva didn’t need much convincing to switch from his side to mine,” Isak says. “That should tell you everything.”

“I feel stupid,” Noora says. Instead of talking about falling for Yousef's charm like Isak expects, she continues with, “It’s only been a few days, but I really miss her. It’s exhausting out here, and she’s been my source of energy for years. Do you know what I mean?”

Isak puts his arm around Noora’s shoulder, pulling her into his side for a hug. It’s not strategy. He just thinks they both need it. 

“Yeah. I do.”

\---

Once Isak and Noora return, Even stands up before Isak can sit down again.

“Let’s talk a walk,” he says.

Isak shrugs and follows him. As far as Even knows, they’re on better terms after being alone together, and they’re temporarily aligned to take out Mahdi. Isak wants to keep it that way. Since he played his idol, there’s another one hidden at Sachchaai, he doesn’t know if any were found at Taagat, and there’s likely one on this very beach. Fuck, Yousef could have one for all he knows.

Even doesn’t need to know that Isak saw through all his bullshit. It’s safest if he feels safe.

“How long have you been hoping to align with me?” Even asks once they’re alone.

It takes Isak a second, but he realizes Yousef probably told him about Jonas, and Jonas probably told Yousef about the conversation they had during the challenge. Which—it’s not _terrible_ , but Isak wishes Jonas would keep a bit more to himself. They didn’t need to disclose that until the four of them were on a tribe together.

“Just keeping my options open,” Isak says. “I thought voting out Elias would weaken Sana.”

“And keeping me would put you in a better position after merge?”

“Potentially.”

“Whatever happens tomorrow, we need each other. If we go back to Sachchaai, we take out Mahdi as planned.”

“And if we go to Taagat?”

“We’re kind of fucked. It sounds like a tight tribe to enter as outsiders. And, you and Jonas will be the only pair there. It makes you a huge target.”

“So, you team up with the original Taagat and get me out. It’s great for you.”

Even shakes his head. “If I do that? I’m next. They won’t go after Jonas. You, me, and Jonas have to team up, and hopefully we can rely on Jonas to get numbers. Yousef thinks he’s pretty well-liked.”

Isak recognizes Even’s desperation now. He’s upfront and lays out his plan like _the_ plan because that’s what he needs to work. He’s not asking Isak how they can move forward together: he’s telling him.

Of course Eva and Eskild flipped. Mahdi will flip back. For a moment, Isak’s desire to see Jonas isn’t as strong as his desire to go back to Sachchaai. He could play this next tribal beautifully, orchestrating his second blindside.

He loves this game, and he is able to figure it out on his own.

“You’re right,” Isak says. “It’s our only shot. But even if we stay on Sachchaai, I’ve got your back on the next vote.”

Even nods, and Isak swears he sees a smile—not a smirk, but a _smile_ of relief. “There is something else I want to give you a heads up on.”

“Yeah?" 

“I’m going to sleep closer to Yousef tonight, so…are you ok? I mean, you and Noora can spoon. I don’t want you getting cold or anything.”

Isak laughs because that’s what he should do, of course it should be fine. “Yeah, Even. I really don't care." 

But when they eventually settle in their makeshift shelter for sleep, Isak’s mad at Yousef for hogging all of Even’s warmth.

He knows he’s not being fair.

\---

After the longest night yet, morning feels like a relief.

New day, new chance, all that sentimental bullshit. Isak’s optimistic about his game, which is a fucking miracle on about twenty minutes of sleep.

“How was your night?” Mutta asks once he arrives on the beach.

“Long,” Isak answers.

“Really?” Even says. “It flew by for me." 

“Was there any talk about what’s happening on the other tribe?” Mutta asks.

“Of course,” Noora says. “What’s the point if there wasn’t?”

“That’s true. Yousef, what was it like being reunited with Even?”

“Oh yeah, it was great,” Yousef says, slapping Even's shoulder. “Though no offence, Even, but I’m ready to go back to Taagat. I’ll chose a real shelter over him.”

“About that. Yousef, could you swap buffs with Even? And Noora, could you swap buffs with Isak?”

The moment Isak swaps his red buff for a blue one, he feels closer to Jonas. They are meant to be on the same side. 

“We’re switching things up. Yousef and Noora, you’re now members of Sachchaai. Isak and Even, you’re now members of Taagat.”

Some Survivor fans argue that tribe swaps are inherently unfair because they could take someone from the top of one tribe to the bottom of another. Isak thinks that’s part of the game: you adapt to the circumstances you’re in. Sometimes you’re at an advantage, sometimes you’re at a disadvantage, and that’s fucking life.

Even though Isak’s entering Taagat as an outsider, he feels like he finally has an advantage with Jonas there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tribe swap! Can't wait for you to meet some more players. :) 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	11. Weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak reunites with Jonas and considers their next play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back, sorry for the wait! The immunity challenge is near impossible to describe, so I encourage you to check out [ this gif](https://twitter.com/Survivor_AU/status/894498006640115712) to compensate for my lack of writing skills. :) 
> 
> Find me on [ tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).

None of Isak’s conversations with Jonas go the way he rehearsed them in his head.

It’s not that he expected their reunion to be a moment that would prompt viewers to reach for their tissues. Isak knows himself, he knows Jonas, and the two of them would never run into each other’s arms as they cried and admitted things like _I missed you_ and _I’m so happy we’re together now_ —like Eva and Noora might have.

But Jonas would at least offer a smile, a cautious _anything you want to talk about?_ Isak would say no, of course, but that’s who Jonas was, that’s what Jonas did, and that’s how the asshole made Isak fall in love with him. Jonas wouldn’t avert his eyes, frown, and eventually give Isak a look he was too familiar with.

_Why are you here?_

But he did, so Isak wanted to impress him with Mikael’s blindside. They sat together far enough away from the shelter that Isak could pretend they were alone.

“Maybe don’t boast about that here,” Jonas said. “Adam was pissed.”

Isak waited for some sort of congratulations to accompany the warning. Instead, Jonas said, “We shouldn’t—”

Isak cut him off because he knew what was next. “Did you really get fire without flint?” At Jonas’s nod, he continued, “That’s fucking impressive. I got it started, but only after we got flint. It’s harder than it looks on YouTube.”

“Yeah.”

So Isak moved to the topic he had the most to say about: Even. He explained everything with the idol, the way Even orchestrated Sara’s elimination by playing _him_ , telling each part with the appropriate amount of indignation ( _a lot_ ).

“So, wait,” Jonas said when he finished. “You’re pissed that he targeted you after you blindsided him?”

“It’s the _way_ he did it. He plays dirty.”

“Yeah, but it’s Survivor. We’re literally living in dirt.”

And because Jonas still didn’t get it, Isak’s now gesturing at Even as he talks to Sana and Vilde. “Ok, but look at that. You see how he’s working them?”

“They’re just talking?”

“No, Even doesn’t do that. Every word is calculated with him. He’s charming them, trying to win them over—”

“So he’s playing the game?”

“Right, and we need to get him out before he builds the same following here he had at Sachchaai. Once he has that? We’re his number one targets.”

“That’s just it, Isak. We’re already everyone’s number one targets, and we’re sitting here talking to each other while Even talks to everyone else.”

Isak knows he’s right. He just missed talking to Jonas.

Shifting his focus back to the game, Isak asks, “Do you think we could get the numbers to vote out Even?" 

“You’re serious?”

“This is the best opportunity we’ll get. Everyone on Taagat loves each other or whatever, so let’s take out the outsider.”

“Leaving you as the only outsider.”

“But I’m in with you, so I’ll be in with whoever you’re with.”

“Everyone I’m with will see that I’m closest to you, so they won’t be closest to me. People will get suspicious if we don’t work together, but we have to act like we don’t actually give a shit about each other. So, if I—we can’t be the way we are at home, you know?”

In all of that, Isak hears that Jonas still gives a shit about him.

“We have to work with Even," Jonas says. "It’s not even a choice.”

“I just can’t trust him."

“You don’t have to. Just trust his position in this game. He’s as fucked without us as we are without him.”

And that’s true. Despite his tricks, there’s not much Even can pull from the bottom of a tribe that’s already wary of him. There’s also something appealing to Isak about being part of the pair in a group of three for once.

“Or, think of it this way,” Jonas says. “Keep your enemies close. Show him your knife, show him how skilled you are with it, then surprise him when you slide it in his back.”

Isak smiles. This is the conversation he wanted to have. “And if he stabs us first?”

“You really think he’s going to outsmart us?”

Isak alone? Maybe. Isak with Jonas? Absolutely not. Isak shakes his head.

“Exactly,” Jonas says. “I know how much this means to you, Isak. I’m not letting you fuck up our game because you have some rivalry with this guy.”

He smiles and elbows Isak like he’s teasing, the pressure making Isak’s heart pick up its pace. This game means something to both of them, so Isak’s going to make damn sure they play it right. “Ok. If we have Even, we need two more people for a majority. Noora said Linn was on the bottom?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t do shit around camp and only talks to Vilde.”

“Do we have a better chance of targeting her or getting her to vote with us?”

“Adam would vote her out. He likes the oldschool ‘keep the tribe strong’ strategy. I don’t think Sana or Vilde would. I could probably get Ingrid.”

“You think?”

“I don’t know exactly what we are, but….” Just as Isak’s praying for Jonas not to finish that thought, Jonas stops himself.

Because Ingrid’s joined them to finish it for him.

“Ok, I am not losing another guy to his roommate,” Ingrid says as she approaches them. “My ex-boyfriend once cancelled a date because he was sick. When I went to surprise him with homemade soup—”

“Bet it was delicious,” Jonas says.

“Don’t interrupt to flirt. It’s rude. Anyway, he was high and playing Xbox with his roommate.”

Jonas stands up, wrapping his arms around Ingrid’s waist. “I would invite you to get high and play Xbox with us.”

“Tempting.”

“Aren’t I a catch?”

Ingrid rolls her eyes, but it’s no match for what Isak’s are doing.

Isak almost forgot Ingrid was even here. She’s good enough in challenges not to fuck up but not good enough to stand out, and Sara even barely talked about her. And here Jonas is, looking at her like she’s more captivating than the ocean behind him.

But Jonas gets like this, he flirts and falls quickly, so it’s not—Isak’s not going to let his brain make this more than it is.

“Will you take me fishing again today?” Ingrid asks.

“Of course,” Jonas says. “Not only that, but I guarantee you’ll catch something. You’ll be the hero of this tribe.”

“That will always be Sana, so now I think you’re a liar.”

“Like you’ve never lied to me.”

“Oh, there was that time I called you cute.”

As they walk off together, Isak’s left waiting for his invitation to join them.

“Don’t worry too much about that.”

Isak startles as Even joins him, taking Jonas’s place. “What?”

Even nods towards the ocean, where Jonas and Ingrid are getting onto the raft together. “Vilde thinks it’s flirting out of boredom. Not true love or anything like that.”

“Why the fuck would I care what Jonas does with Ingrid?”

It sounds like he cares even to Isak’s ears, so he’s not surprised when Even raises his eyebrows. “Ok. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Nothing to talk about anyway.”

“Sure, Isak.” Even’s hands are sifting through the sand. Isak’s not sure why he’s watching them, so he stops and looks towards the ocean again.

Where Jonas and Ingrid are trying to knock each other off the raft. He goes back to Even’s hands.

“Did you talk to Jonas about me?” Even asks.

“About us forming an alliance?”

“No. About the way my eyes shine in the moonlight.” Isak rolls his eyes and glares in a feat of multi-tasking. Even holds his hands up in innocence. “Fuck, I was kidding. You’re pissy today.”

“I didn’t sleep well.”

“I know. I felt bad.”

If Isak’s going to work with Even, he is not going to go through this bullshit when they could be talking game. “Jonas is cool with the plan. He thinks he can get Adam and Ingrid, I guess, to vote Linn out with us.”

“Why the fuck would we vote out Linn?”

“Easy target?”

“Yeah, exactly. She needs allies, we need allies: it’s a perfect match.”

“Jonas said she only talks to Vilde.”

“Well, she hasn’t met me yet. I’ll use my powers for good.”

"Who would we even target if we got Linn?" 

“You think Adam’s going to work with the people who voted out his boyfriend?” And…no, Isak decides. Probably not. “I told him that vote was the entire tribe’s decision, by the way. I said Mikael was making people paranoid by looking for the idol. So, don’t go bragging about your big move.”

Even had the perfect reason to place the target to Isak, yet he placed it on both of them instead. “Why would you do that?”

“Doesn’t do me any good to sell you out right now.”

“But later?”

“No spoilers.”

\---

When they walk into the immunity challenge, Isak realizes that he misses Sachchaai.

He misses shit-talking with Mahdi, how he was always on the same page with Eva, even listening to Eskild’s stories. He’s jealous of Noora not only because she now gets to experience all of that, but because Eva’s holding her hand while Jonas is standing as far away from him as possible.

“Ok, first thing I have to ask,” Mutta says. “Noora, Eva, what was it like to be reunited?”

“I felt...relief,” Eva says.

“Do you worry that it makes you targets?” Mutta asks.

“I think people are making a mistake if they don’t see this as an opportunity,” Noora says. “We’re two allies for the price of one.”

“Where does that leave you, Yousef?” Mutta asks.

“Hoping we win immunity?” Yousef says, laughing. “No, but Sachchaai been very welcoming, and I hope I’m proving I’m an asset to their tribe.”

“Let’s turn the same questions to Isak and Jonas,” Mutta says. “What’s it like being together again?”

“I’m always happy to see Isak,” Jonas says. Which is not something Isak’s accustomed to hearing. “But it definitely changes both of our games.”

“And the game’s our priority,” Isak says. “We haven’t lost sight of that.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Mutta says. “Are you ready to get to your first immunity challenge as new tribes?”

It’s a rare team endurance challenge. They are all to stand in a horizontal line on a stone wall, holding a disc between the palm of their hand and the palm of the person beside them. Once a person drops both of their discs, they’re out of the challenge. The last tribe standing wins immunity.

Thanks to a random draw, Isak’s position is in-between Jonas and Even. Isak quickly realizes the discs are heavier than they look, and it doesn’t help to have the ocean swelling behind them. The waves hit with force and without warning, sending Isak shivering minutes into the challenge.

“Isak, you can do this,” Jonas says as their disc shakes in-between them. “This is what we practiced for.”

And he’s right, though Isak doesn’t think about all the challenges they tried to recreate as preparation. He thinks about all the times Jonas helped him through the thoughts that threatened to knock him over.

Isak takes a deep breath and strengthens his grip. He has carried a much heavier load than this.

When one disc drops, it seems to cause a domino effect on both tribes. It comes down to Isak, Even, Jonas, and Sana on Taagat versus Eva, Noora, and Elias, and Yousef on Sachchaai.

Isak’s not exactly relaxed, but he’s not particularly worried either until Even wobbles beside him. Sana, who was on the other side of Even, dropped the disc the two of them were holding.

“Now I really need you, Isak,” Even says.

“I’m trying.”

“What’s the first thing you want to do when you leave the game?”

“What?”

“I’m trying to distract both of us from the incredible pain we’re in.”

“Oh. Maybe shower? Or brush my teeth.”

“Hm. I’ll be cashing my cheque.”

“Don’t make me laugh. I’ll shake.”                            

Isak hears discs drop on Sachchaai. Now, it’s only Eva and Elias, holding a disc between them.

“I’ll treat you to a nice dinner after I win,” Even says.

“I think I’m busy that night.”

“Then I’ll schedule it for the night after that.”

When another wave comes, Isak’s grip slips and he drops the disc he’s holding with Even. He hears another disc fall, and it takes him a second to realize it’s not the one he’s holding with Jonas, but Eva and Elias’s.

“Taagat wins immunity!”

Of course. He can carry the heaviest weight as long as Jonas is there to hold it with him.


	12. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's perception of the game changes after a good night's sleep.

Taagat is warm.

Their shelter is better-constructed than Sachchaai’s, their fire is strong and constant, and they have blankets to tuck themselves into at night.

It’s not like there’s a blanket per person, though. They have to share, so they still have to sleep close to one another. As they move to the shelter for the night, Isak by Jonas’s side, Jonas says, “Probably shouldn’t fuck with the sleeping arrangement we’ve had since the beginning. You and Even can sleep at the end?”

“Oh,” Isak says. “Yeah, makes sense.” And it does, so Isak repeats that mantra as he slides beside Even, pulling a blanket over them. _This makes sense._

What doesn’t make sense is how close Jonas is holding Ingrid given how warm it is.

“You can get closer,” Even whispers. “If you want.”

“I’m warm enough.”

“It’s not only about that.”

“I’m fine.”

“Convincing.”

Even places his hand on Isak’s back, letting his fingers dance there. The random moments of pressure and heat remind Isak of sparks shooting off the fire. “This ok?” he asks.

“I don’t care, Even.”  

“Oh, are we still doing that? No offence to Yousef, but I missed holding you last night. I don’t know what it is. You’re just so warm. And soft.”

“Everything probably feels soft when you’re made of stone.”

Even laughs and it’s so loose and light, like he’s happy for the sound to drift away and reach anyone that might need it. “ _Wow_ , Isak. My ex used to call me a marshmallow, so I’m not going to lie, I’m impressed that I’ve tricked you into thinking the opposite.”

He hasn’t, really. Not with that laugh.

Even moves on to tracing slow, gentle circles on Isak’s back. As he applies more pressure, Isak seizes up.

“You’re tense," Even remarks. 

“Great observational skills.”

“Are you worried about Eva? Or Eskild?” Truthfully, not really. While Isak knows that Noora going to Sachchaai placed a target on Eva, she has some kind of advantage, and he trusts that she’s smart enough to shift the target to Yousef even without it. He thinks Mahdi and Eskild will be on board because of Yousef’s association to Even, and that gives them the majority in a 4-3 vote. “Because I told Yousef his best shot at safety was to go after Mahdi. You told Noora the same?”

“Yeah.”

“Then nothing’s changed. We’re fine.”

Across the shelter, Isak hears giggles that prick his skin. Even applies more pressure, like he’s stopping Isak’s wounds from splitting open. “Oh,” he whispers, his voice much lower and closer than before. “It’s that.”

“They know people are trying to sleep. It’s fucking rude.”

Isak’s exhausted, he’s sore, he’s so fucking hungry, and he tells himself that’s why he feels like he could cry. He swallows hard because God, he’s not letting Even see that _._

“Hey.” Even squeezes Isak’s shoulder. “You just need to sleep.”

“I _know_ that.”

“Then let me help you. Where are we?”

“On a fucking island.”

“Be a bit more specific.”

Isak sighs, but concedes. “Fiji.”

“Ok. And what do you see?”

“Nothing, Even. It’s pitch black out.”

“What about smell?”

“Your b.o.”

“That’s you, actually. Hear?”

“Your incessant talking.”

“And feel?”

Bugs on his legs, sand in his shorts. Skin so dry it’s cracking open. Dull, relentless pain in his muscles.

Even’s touch is stronger than all of it.

“You. I feel you.”

“Then think about that, ok? Ignore whatever bullshit your brain’s pulling and focus on your reality right now. We’re on an island in Fiji, and yeah, it’s shit. It fucking sucks. But we’re here holding each other, and we need to sleep, so that’s what we’ll do.”

It’s a trick, but Isak’s mind is too tired to outsmart it. As he falls asleep, he thinks he dreams the soft lips on his cheek, but he does not think they belong to Jonas.

\---

In the morning, Isak’s well-rested enough to be skeptical again.

Even was too fucking sweet last night for it to be genuine. No one would do that for him out of the goodness of their marshmallow heart.

But as Isak works on the fire, he watches Even and Linn talk in the shelter. Not only do they actually _talk_ , but he gets her to smile, even laugh the way he did last night. At the same time, Adam’s out on his own _getting firewood,_ which Isak knows is code for looking for the idol.

Adam’s playing his own reckless game. Linn doesn’t seem to be playing at all, but maybe Even’s right that she just needs allies. She is the more predictable and likely more loyal ally, and keeping her keeps Isak in Eskild’s good graces.

Even is right, but there’s only one way Isak’s going along with his plan.

“Hey,” Isak says, interrupting their conversation in the shelter. “Even, can you help me with the fire?”

“Oh, good,” Linn says. “I’m tired.”

“We’ll talk later,” Even says to her as he follows Isak to the fire. 

“We need to talk about last night,” Isak says, his rest also giving him a bit more confidence.

Even throws some wood onto the fire, not meeting Isak’s gaze. “We don’t have to, Isak. It was no problem.”

“No, Even. It _is_ a problem.”

Even looks up, eyes crinkled in a mixture of confusion and concern. Isak scolds himself for thinking it’s cute. “Ok?”

“The only game I want to play is Survivor.”

Even blinks at him. Isak sighs: he’d rehearsed that line all morning. “I mean, if last night was a game move?” Isak says. “If that’s the way you want to play, fine, that’s on you. But please, leave me out of it. I’ll still work with you here. The other bullshit isn’t necessary and it’s not fair to me.”

Even opens his mouth to speak, then closes it into something resembling a frown. His eyes are still crinkled in that way that’s not at all endearing. He’s surprised, Isak realizes. Maybe sad, too.

“Isak, is it that hard for you to believe someone wants you to be ok?”

And maybe it is, because he still doesn’t entirely believe it. “This is a game, though.”

“Absolutely, but that wasn’t a move. If anything, I think I’ve made it very clear you can’t trust me long-term. We’ll get each other through Taagat, but you’ll know when I’ve turned on you. Might be when I write your name down, but still. I-s-a-k, right?”

Even smirks, and Isak relaxes at the familiarity of it. “I will get you first.”

“We’ll see. But I swear, Isak. I’m not actually made of stone.”

Isak nods because he does believe that, and that’s all the reassurance he needs to work with Even at this stage in the game. “You’re right about Linn. It doesn’t make sense to get her out right now.”

“She’s smarter than she lets on, too. I don’t think she’s just a number for us. I think she could be an asset.”

“What about her thing with Vilde?”

“Just personal. She said Vilde talks too much to be a good ally.”

“You could say the same about Eskild.”

“Well, exactly. She won’t keep any secrets with the two of them for an alliance, so she’s exploring her options. And I think she’s starting to trust me. Adam will never trust either of us.”

Isak nods: he was already sold on this plan. He just needed to be confident in Even, and now he is, at least for this vote.

“I’ll talk to Jonas.”

\---

“Adam’s going to come after me and Even because of Mikael, you know he will. And he’s been out looking for the idol. We can’t trust him. Even’s got Linn, I’m confident in that. With the two of us, Even, Linn, and Ingrid, we have the numbers to get him out. It’s the only play that will let us survive longer than the next vote.”

It is so clear-cut to Isak that he’s annoyed by Jonas’s hesitation. “We need challenge strength, though.”

“Not really? Even and I are both stronger than Noora and Yousef, plus we’ve got you and Sana. Vilde holds her own, too. If you’re really concerned about challenge strength, we should go after Ingrid.”

Jonas rolls his eyes. “We’re obviously not doing that.”

“Obviously.”

“I just mean she’s a guaranteed number for us.”

“So is Linn.”

“If we’re trying to keep a low profile and the targets off ourselves, shouldn’t we just vote off the person at the bottom of the tribe? Keep things simple.”

“Right, but if we keep Adam, we’re keeping someone who will keep the target on us. Linn won’t.”

“I have a good bond with Adam.”

“Yeah, but you’re not playing alone.”

Isak hates the edge in his voice because it gives too much away. Jonas catches it and backs down. “Let’s revisit this if we lose immunity. It’ll give us some time to think.”

Isak nods despite not knowing what else there is to think about. He’s _right._ Whatever happens at the immunity challenge, he’s not writing Linn’s name down.

\---

Isak is only nervous for Sachchaai when he walks into the immunity challenge. He might not see Eva or Eskild again in this game, and no, it’s not as intense as his fear of not seeing Jonas, but he needs his allies on the other side to survive.

As Sachchaai walks in, Sana realizes what happened first.

“Where’s Yousef?”

Her question is followed by Even’s, “Fuck.”

Isak feels bad for Even until he sees Eva, glowing with Noora beside her. Then, he’s just really fucking proud. They pulled it off.

“Taagat, getting your first look at the new Sachchaai tribe,” Mutta says. “Yousef voted out at last night’s tribal council. Even, how do you feel?”

“I thought I knew how that vote was going to go,” Even says. “I mean, I was on Sachchaai. I knew what was happening, and—sorry, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t see this coming, so kudos to them.” Jonas claps Even’s back in a show of comfort, and Isak tries to ignore that he seems upset too.

“Sana, you also seem shocked,” Mutta says.

Sana shakes her head. “No, I’m—I’m focusing for the challenge. That’s all.”

The challenge is out of an elementary school gym class. Three players have to toss buckets of water to each other relay-style to fill a barrel. Once the barrel is full, they’ll be able to retrieve a key that unlocks a box of puzzle pieces. The remaining three tribe members solve the puzzle, and the first tribe to finish wins immunity.

Since Taagat has two extra members, they need to sit two people out. Even volunteers immediately. “I won’t be at my best,” he says, and that seems fair.

“Maybe you should sit out too, Sana,” Vilde says. “We’ll be ok without you on this one.”

Sana shakes her head, again dismissing another person’s assessment of her. “Put me on the puzzle. I’m fine.”

Linn sits out instead. Isak volunteers to throw water with Jonas and Vilde, not willing to volunteer for another puzzle. On Sachchaai, Elias, Chris, and Eskild are on the relay while Noora, Eva, and Mahdi are on the puzzle.

It starts well enough. This is a challenge Isak and Jonas practiced for, so they have a decent rhythym as Isak throws his water to Jonas for him to pour into the barrel. Vilde also does well, and they have a small lead going into the puzzle.

Where everything promptly falls apart.

Sana takes charge, but doesn’t communicate what she’s doing to Ingrid or Adam. She doesn’t give them room to help. Beside them, Eva, Noora, and Mahdi take the time to talk through the puzzle before putting any pieces on the board.

“Talk to each other!” Isak yells.

“Taagat, not talking to each other!” Mutta narrates, and Isak rolls his eyes. He gets paid far too much for this gig.

Once Sachchaai starts putting pieces on the board, they’re quick and efficient. Isak knows it’s over long before Mutta calls it.

“Sachchaai wins immunity!”

And oh, they are _happy,_ screaming as they embrace each other in a group hug that seems genuine. Isak doesn’t know if he misses them or the thrill of a win.

\---

Isak’s first priority when they’re back at camp is to sell Jonas on Even’s plan, but he’s intercepted by Sana before he can get him alone.

“Can you help me get firewood?” she asks.

“Uh, sure,” Isak says despite the piles of wood right beside the fire.

“So, we haven’t had a chance to talk yet,” she says as they walk. “And even though you’re coming from another tribe, I’m open to working with you.”

“You are?” Despite her performance today, Sana’s still their greatest challenge asset. She’s clearly close with Vilde, and seems to have a decent relationship with almost everyone on the tribe. She’s in a great position without him.

“What did Noora say about working with pairs? See it as an opportunity? I think she’s right, and I think you, me, and Jonas could be a strong group moving forward.”

Isak calls bullshit. From his conversation with Noora, he knows Sana and Jonas are one of the only clear divisions on Taagat. “I’d definitely be interested in that.”

“We’d be set after merge with your connections at Sachchaai and Elias.”

Isak suppresses a laugh. There is no universe in which he and Elias will work together. “That’s true.”

“Ok, then we’re on the same page.” Sana smiles, and that could almost fool Isak into thinking she’s genuine. “I’ve been wondering, did anything happen on your night away from camp that might be helpful for us? Like, did you talk to Noora or Yousef at all?”

“No. The four of us stayed close to prevent that from happening, actually.”

Isak can tell she thinks he’s lying, but he knows what she’s doing too.

In all his plotting for the next vote, he forgot to consider that people might be plotting against _him_. Sana wants him to feel safe in case he has an idol, and she wants intel on why Yousef left. She also seems to, correctly, suspect he’s to blame for it.

And Isak knows what has to happen at tribal.

Sana’s in too good of a position. Yes, she’s a challenge asset, but after merge? She could easily go on an immunity run. And, if she’s reunited with Elias? She has a true ride or die: Even’s mentioned that Elias would likely sacrifice himself for her.

“Who are you thinking of voting for tonight?” Sana asks.

There’s no point in lying. She’s going to vote for him or potentially Jonas regardless. “Adam.”

“I can help you get numbers.”

“That would be great.”

They shake on it, then return to camp where Isak immediately seeks out Jonas.

“So. Slight change of plans.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next chapter will be because I have a very busy week ahead, but oh it's going to be fun. :)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	13. Big Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak seeks help with his biggest move yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I hope this is as fun for you as it was for me. Enjoy! :)

When Isak was little, he was stung a bee that had been circling him for two, maybe three minutes. “Didn’t you see it coming?” his dad asked as Isak cried tears he was supposed to have grown out of. And of course he did, but he _wanted_ to be outside, he _wanted_ to drink his apple juice, and he was stubborn in his right do so despite the buzzing in his ear.

“Yes,” Isak answered. “But it still hurts.”

Isak knows Jonas is going to reject his plan to get rid of Sana before he’s finished his first point, frustrated as Jonas’s eyes dart around camp like he’s looking for a job to do instead. But, Isak is _right._ He’s right, and Jonas won’t even give him a chance.

“What use am I to Sana?” Isak says. “I’m an outsider coming into a tribe where she’s on the top. It’s not for my connections on Sachchaai: I don’t get along with Elias, and they just voted off Yousef who she clearly had something with. The _only_ reason for her to approach me is to make me feel safe in case I have an idol. She’s gunning for me, Jonas, and if she doesn’t vote for me? She’ll vote for you. She is trying to get one of us out tonight.”

“So what if she is?” Jonas says. “She doesn’t have the numbers. We do.”

“We _think_ we do.”

“You, me, Even, Ingrid, Adam.” Jonas counts each person off on his fingers. “She has Vilde and maybe Linn. It’s not even close.”

“You don’t know that you have Adam. Or Ingrid, by the way. What’s to stop the girls from teaming up? They could pull a Black Widow Brigade and at least force a tie tonight. Hell, one of them could have the idol. They’d have total control.”

“I trust Ingrid.”

There’s the sting. _So, you don’t trust me_. Isak changes tactics because he _wants_ to make this play and his fucking partner should support him in it. “What about the challenge today? Sana’s the only reason we’re going to tribal tonight.”

Jonas shrugs. “Her pride got in the way. She’s usually strong.”

“It could happen again, and it doesn’t even have to be in a challenge. Her pride’s going to control her votes too, and I’m sorry, but you have to see how that will fuck us over.”

“After merge? Yeah, obviously. She’s first out. But I think today was a fluke because of Yousef, and with Sana on our tribe? We can win every other challenge until merge.”

“I think you’re underestimating Sachchaai. They’re a strong tribe. And ok, let’s say you’re right: what if there’s another tribe swap before merge? We swapped so early. And even if there isn’t, what are we going to do when she wins every immunity challenge after merge and is back with Elias? We’re fucked if we let her get that far.”

“I just don’t think we should be strategizing based on the unknown.”

“We don’t know shit! That’s what we have to do.”

But Isak’s exhausted all his arguments, and all he’s done is convinced himself even more that Sana has to go tonight. If Jonas won’t help him, fine. He has somewhere else to go.

“I’m sorry,” Jonas says when he realizes Isak’s given up. “I don’t mean to be a dick about any of this, but this is your first vote on this tribe. You don’t get how things works here."

Isak hears that things work better when he’s not there. What else is new?

“You’re right,” Isak says. He catches Jonas’s surprise—those eyebrows don’t hide much—and hopes he doesn’t question Isak’s sudden change of heart. “We should just vote Linn tonight. It’s safest.”

Jonas nods. “It’s going to be fucking epic when we can make a big move together. This just isn’t the right time.”

Not for them to make one together, anyway.

\---

Isak finds Even drawing with Linn in the sand.

They’re not talking but, according to Vilde, they’ve been at it for over an hour. Isak watches Even raise his eyebrows at Linn, daring her with a smile she doesn’t return until both of their eyes are back on their art.

Isak still believes Even’s charm is part of his strategy and gets more dangerous by the day, but he can’t believe it’s an act anymore. That’s just who Even is. He’s perceptive enough to read people and empathetic enough to care, and that’s how he reaches people like Linn. And maybe like Isak, too. 

In another universe, Isak imagines he could be more like Even. Because fuck, sometimes he feels like he has a sixth sense: between feeling, tasting, hearing, seeing, and smelling, he’s hurting on behalf of the world. He notices things like how Eskild’s stomach is the only thing louder than his complaints of hunger, or how Eva struggles to open coconuts until she’s almost crying but won’t ask for help.

It’s enough to make him want to cry himself, but Isak would never describe himself as empathetic. In this other universe, Isak would open coconuts for Eva to share with Eskild. In this one, he does not have the fucking energy to take on anyone’s hurt but his own. He already tried that with his mom, and well, that’s gotten him here. And  _here_ is not exactly paradise. 

Maybe he is selfish, but fuck if he hasn’t earned the right to be. It makes Even seem kind of remarkable, especially because Isak suspects he carries a lot of hurt himself.

“Did the producers ask you to get this shot for a voiceover?” Isak’s surprised by the pretty blue eyes that are now locked with his own. “You could save the editors some time and just say it now. ‘I know I need to vote Even out, but he is so handsome.’”

But God, Even can be such a dick.

Isak makes his way over to them, sitting on the other side of Even. “Did you convince Jonas to vote for Adam?” Even asks.

“We actually have a bigger problem.”

Even promptly turns so he’s facing Isak, offering his full attention. “Lay it on me.”

Isak’s not used to that kind of invitation for his thoughts, so it takes him a second to know where to start. He explains how Sana approached him and presents all the arguments he presented to Jonas, pausing after each one in case Even wants to voice his opinion. He just listens, though. Isak concludes with a, “What do you think?”

“Fuck. She needs to go tonight.”

“Yeah?” Isak’s voice cracks with relief. He hopes Even doesn’t notice.

“You should have heard the way Yousef talked about her. He kept telling me that she’s the most badass person he’s ever met. And you know Elias is shit at this game, so he was always talking about how smart she was. I just assumed she’d end up on my side, but Yousef’s gone, and it’s not like Elias looked out for him.”

“Elias won’t forgive you for this.” Isak knows this isn’t new information to Even, but he wants to see how he responds.

Even shrugs. “Then we’ll have to vote him out, too.”

Fucking cold. Isak smiles.

“If she doesn’t go tonight, one of us will,” Even says. “She wouldn’t try this if she didn’t think she had the numbers.”

“Who does she think she has? Vilde, Linn, Adam? Just enough for a tie? Or do you think Ingrid’s playing Jonas?”

“She’s not,” Linn interrupts. When they both stare at her, she waves as though to remind them that she’s still there. “You’re right about me, Vilde, and Adam, but Sana asked me to work on you, Even. She thought there might be some tension between you and Isak.”

“Wait, so you knew about this?” Isak says. Linn nods. “Little heads up would’ve been nice?”

“I was waiting to see if you were smart enough to figure it out on your own. If you were, I’d work with you. If you weren’t, I’d vote you out. I’m only going to play on the winning side.”

Even nods as though that is perfectly logical. “Seriously?” Isak says. “What kind of alliance is that?”

“We weren’t an alliance. If anything, I’m doing you a favour.” Linn pauses. “And I know you’re both tight with Eskild, so.”

Isak risks a glance at Even, who won’t meet his eyes for once. He lied about Eskild, but he also lied about Mikael. Isak owes him this much. “Yeah. The four of us can look out for each other.”

“So the three of us, Jonas, and Ingrid vote Sana?” Even asks.

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Isak says. “Jonas isn’t on board. At all. Maybe if we can get Adam, we can at least tie the vote—do either of you have the idol, by any chance?"

Isak does not take their silence to mean _no_ , but it’s equally unhelpful in this moment. “I don’t even know how to sway Adam,” Even says. “He’s more likely to go with Jonas than us, anyway. I’m not sure how we get numbers." 

“What are you talking about?” Linn says. “We have the numbers right here.”

“There are three of us,” Isak says. He’s growing less confident in Linn as an ally by the second.

“Wait, she’s right,” Even says. “The three of us vote Sana. Ingrid and Jonas will vote Linn, and Sana and Vilde will vote Isak. Adam will vote for either one of you, but either way, it’s a tie: three for Sana, three for one of you, two for the other one. So, we vote again.”

Isak quickly does the math. In a revote, the two people who tied cannot vote again, and they are the only people the remaining tribe members can vote for. That leaves Jonas, Ingrid, Vilde, Even, Adam, and himself or Linn voting. If he can get Jonas and Ingrid voting on his side, they’ll have majority.

“Jonas won’t vote you out,” Even says before Isak can.

“What if the votes are against Linn?” Isak says.

“He’d be stupid to keep Sana in the game after you targeted her.”

If the votes don’t go as they assume or if an idol is played, this plan will fall apart and send one of them home. Isak knows that, but he can’t fight his smile as he says, “This is so fucking risky.”

Even’s smile is even brighter. Everything about Even is, really. “So is keeping Sana in the game.”

“We have to do it.”

“Then we can’t keep talking to each other,” Linn says. “Let’s settle it now. The three of us vote for Sana?” Isak and Even nod their agreement. “Ok. I’m going to talk to Vilde so she doesn’t catch on.”

Once Linn is gone, Even asks Isak, “You’re ok with lying to Jonas?”

“Won’t be the first time.”

\---

Isak’s buzzing at tribal council.

He knows what he’s doing. He has no fucking idea if it’ll work, but if he’s going down, he might as well do it with a big move. Maybe he’s more like Eskild than he’d care to admit.

“So, your first tribal council,” Mutta says by way of introduction. “Everyone was pretty much on the same page. Now, you have two new tribe members, one of whom is playing with his partner. How does that change the dynamic?”

“I don’t think it does,” Vilde says. “We’ve welcomed Isak and Even onto this tribe because that’s what we do at Taagat.”

Isak stifles a laugh. He must have misplaced his fucking welcoming wagon. “Really?” Mutta says. “Because some would think Isak and Even become the easy targets.”

“Nothing that was true about Taagat changed when Isak and Even came,” Sana says. “We have the same allies and plans as before. Now, we have two more people to help us. That’s all.”

Even’s sitting behind Isak, and Isak resists the urge to turn and roll his eyes at him. _What a load of bullshit._ “Isak, Even, you’ve usually taken over hosting duties by now,” Mutta says. “I’d love to know what you think about what’s being said.”

“Oh, it’s bullshit,” Even says, and Isak lets himself laugh. “Total bullshit. A little insulting, too. I’d like to think my presence on this tribe changes something. And sure, maybe their plans stayed the same, but they’re assuming Isak and I didn’t come in with plans of our own.”

“You’re saying you did?” Mutta asks.

“Yeah, of course. This is Survivor.”

“Let’s talk about the challenge,” Mutta says. “Sana and Even, you were both clearly upset by Yousef’s elimination. Even chose to sit out, but Sana, you totally bombed the puzzle. Was that a mistake?”

“Are asking me if it was a mistake to fail?” Sana asks. “Because yes, absolutely. I don’t regret volunteering for the puzzle, though. I’ll always try to help my tribe.”

“You didn’t help them,” Mutta says. “You brought them here.”

Sana doesn’t have a response for that.

“We all know Sana’s strong in challenges, though,” Ingrid says. “And she’s very helpful around camp. Everyone has a bad day.”

Isak did not expect Ingrid to rush to Sana's defence, so he wonders how much Jonas told her.

“Does that factor into tonight’s vote?” Mutta asks.

“Everything’s a factor,” Adam says, giving Isak absolutely no clue which way he’ll vote tonight.

Mutta seems equally frustrated. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but everyone seems pretty confident in what’s going to happen tonight?”

“As confident as you can be in Survivor,” Jonas says, and everyone nods. Isak goes along with it. 

“Which means someone’s getting blindsided,” Mutta says. “Or everyone’s lying. Either way, it’s time to vote.”

When Isak votes for Sana, he says, “Nice try” to the camera. It’s only after he sits down that he realizes how fucking stupid he’ll look if he goes home.

"If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and you'd like to play it, now would be the time to do so," Mutta says once the voting's over and he's returned with the turn. The silence that follows gives Isak space to breathe. "Ok. I'll read the votes." 

It’s two votes for Linn, then one for Isak, then one for Sana. Isak glances at Jonas, eyebrows knitted in confusion. He looks away before Jonas can look back, turning to Sana instead. She’s totally blank: beautiful, beautiful shock.

The remaining votes go Isak, Sana, Isak, Sana. “We’re tied,” Mutta says. Isak hears Even’s foot tapping on the ground behind him, gradually increasing in speed. It sounds like his heart right now. “We’re going to vote again. You can only vote for Isak or Sana, and Isak and Sana cannot vote. Ingrid, you’re up first.”

Isak’s next realization hits his stomach the way seeing Ingrid and Jonas together did. He does not believe Jonas will vote against him, but Ingrid does not have the same loyalty to him. If she, Adam, and Vilde vote against him, they’ll tie again, go to rocks, and Jonas, Even, or Linn could go home. Unless Even or Linn realize the same, flip him against _him_ , and _he_ goes home—fuck, fuck, _fuck._

Even squeezes his shoulder. If he didn’t know Even were behind him, he’d still recognize the touch. “I’ve got you,” he whispers. Isak has no choice but to believe it.

When the votes are finally read, it’s Sana, Sana, Isak, Isak, Sana, then finally Sana again. Isak’s sigh of relief is audible; it makes Jonas look, anyway. Isak realizes Even’s hand never left his shoulder when he slaps it, laughing behind him: _fuck, we really pulled this off._

“Sana, I’m sorry to tell you that you’ve been eliminated from this game,” Mutta says. “Please bring me your torch.”

“Wow,” she whispers as Mutta snuffs her torch. “I… _wow_. Good job, guys.”

Isak smirks as he waves goodbye, buzzing even more than he was before. That might be the effect of Even’s hand on his back, though.

“Now, that’s what I call a blindside,” Mutta says. “And judging by a 3-3-2 vote, it’s clear Taagat is no longer on the same page. The only question is where do you go from here.”

Isak’s going to stay with the person who listened to him, who helped him, who is once again whispering in his ear.

“Do you have any idea how desperate I am to kiss you right now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, Black Widow Brigade is a Survivor reference, and [ this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldxV0wXyjjA&t=389s) will give you a good idea if you're interested.
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	14. Gain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak thinks about kissing. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this update was supposed to come faster than the last one, and it actually took longer lol. But, it's the longest chapter yet! And I'm off work this week, so hopefully I'll get another one out relatively soon.
> 
> The response to the last chapter was so much fun. Thank you so much for your enthusiasm, and enjoy!

Isak’s been kissed before.

And he’s been kissed _well_ , by boys who know that a kiss is not only lips against lips, but the way you hold someone’s cheek, tease with your teeth and tongue, breathe together in preparation to do it again, and maybe once or twice more after that.

But they’ve all been quick, boys pulling him into bathrooms, boys dancing with him in bars, boys who forgot his name as soon as he forgot theirs.

Even knows his name, and he certainly knows Even’s. It’s a constant in his mind, and if he’s honest with himself, it has been since this game started. Fucking _Even_.

And for fuck’s sake, _what a fucking line_ , but on their ride from tribal to camp, Even’s not smirking at him, not raising his eyebrows, not acting like the shit Isak wanted to believe he was. He’s drumming a rhythm on his thigh, glancing at Isak then back at his feet, occasionally offering a smile that matches the blush in his cheeks. It reminds Isak of seeing Even with Yousef, that there’s an entire person underneath his bravado.

A person who wants to kiss him. That’s what’s new: feeling wanted. God, what would that feeling add to a kiss?

Isak uses his imagination.

Because if Even’s hand on his back can still his body, disconnect it from the signals his brain sends, the ones that say _you are not ok, you need to hurt right now_ , what could his lips do? They are good lips, Isak thinks. Full, powerful, maybe even capable of getting his brain to shut the fuck up. What a gift that would be.

 _Yes_ , Isak decides. _Yes, Even. I am desperate to kiss you too_.

But when they return to camp and the tribe circles up like they’re about to have a fucking meeting, Isak knows it will be a little too obvious if he sneaks into the woods with Even now.

“I just want to know what happened.”

Vilde’s the first to speak, but Isak doesn’t owe her anything, so he won’t give her anything.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Even says. Using his lips. Isak studies the way they move, the way the corners stretch to the sky in a smile. “I wasn’t letting Isak go home tonight.”

Isak risks a glance at Jonas, but he doesn’t return it. He doesn’t feel bad for lying because he _didn’t_ : he gave Jonas the opportunity to be part of the plan, and he wouldn’t even entertain it. So, Isak founds his own people, did his own thing, and he’s not going to apologize for that.

“So you, Jonas, and Isak voted against Sana?” Vilde asks.

“I didn’t vote against Sana until the tie,” Jonas says. “Ingrid and I voted for Linn.”

Vilde furrows her eyebrows, and Isak understands her confusion. He expected Jonas to be on his side too. “So, Adam?” Vilde asks.

“What the fuck?” Adam says. “You think I’m going to align with the guys who voted my boyfriend out? It was Linn.”

“Do you think I’d align with two _guys_?” Linn asks. Vilde considers this, then shakes her head. Which is fucking perfect, really. If both Jonas and Vilde think Adam betrayed them, he will go next.

“She’s lying,” Adam says. “She’s obviously lying. Fuck, I should’ve voted with Jonas and just got her out.”

“You were talking to Jonas?” Vilde asks.

Even leans into Isak, those lips brushing his ear as he whispers, “There’s only one way this night will get better.”

Isak swallows hard.

“That’s really interesting, Adam,” Vilde says. “Since, what did you say again? Something about how we need Jonas right now, but we can weaken him post-merge if we take out his partner? And then Ingrid?”

“Oh,” Ingrid says. “Right as he was telling us not to underestimate Linn as a player.”

“And,” Even says, and even though Isak’s felt nothing but adrenaline since he got to tribal, this manages to send another jolt through him. He wants to know what Even’s planning, scheming—now that it’s not against him, anyway. “Just as he told us that no one would suspect the three of us working together.”

“Because it never fucking happened!” Adam says. “If I voted with you, why would you sell me out now?”

“Because you’re clearly going to sell us out first,” Isak says, eager to play. “You’re not loyal to anyone, and everyone knows you’ve been looking for the idol. It’s exactly what Mikael tried to do, and it’s going to have the exact same outcome.”

“I didn’t—” Adam starts, but Vilde cuts him off by holding up her hand.

“Honestly, I’m done with this conversation,” she says. “Let’s just go to sleep.”

There are murmurs of agreement from everyone, and Adam knows he’s lost. As they move to the shelter, Jonas locks eyes with Isak. “We should talk?”

He sounds more confused than angry and _yes,_ Isak knows they have to talk, but all he wants tonight is Even. He realizes it’s still too obvious to sneak into the woods and kiss now, but they can still whisper as they fall asleep, arms around each other. And maybe, in an hour or two, they can follow the moonlight and kiss underneath the stars.

Even did say he was desperate.

“Tomorrow?” Isak says.

“Yeah.” Jonas nods. “Sure.”

As Isak watches Jonas wrap his arm around Ingrid’s shoulder, he feels Even’s hand on his shoulder. “You are so fucking hot when you threaten people.”

Isak knows his laugh is too loud, but it feels too good to stop. “Even when it’s you?”

“Mhm. I liked being your enemy.”

“Me too.”

“I like this better.”

“Me too.”

They take their usual spot in the shelter, Even taking Isak into his arms and offering his chest as a pillow. As Even strokes his back, Isak realizes that every night Even’s soothed him, he hasn’t been sleeping himself.

So Isak turns around to face him, sliding his own arm underneath Even’s back, resting his hand on his waist. Isak stares at Even until he can see him in the dark, then smiles when he realizes Even’s doing the same. 

“Now?” Isak whispers because they’re close, their lips are so fucking close.

“We should probably wait until tomorrow,” Even whispers. “You never know who else is awake.”

And, oh.

He’s right, but that doesn’t stop the panic that replaces the adrenaline in Isak’s body. Because Isak knows that he can’t even rely on what he has, let alone impulsive promises made by pretty boys. What if Even changes his mind in the morning?

When Isak was seven, the science museum had a space exhibit for three weeks: he remembers that it was exactly three weeks. He begged his dad to take him because he didn’t know Jonas yet, so he didn’t have any friends to go with. They were supposed to go the first Saturday it was open, but his dad was too tired. Isak wanted to prove he was grown-up enough to understand that, that his mom was sick and sometimes he didn’t listen, so of course his dad was tired. Still, he was a little desperate as he asked his dad, “Can we go next Saturday? It’s only open for two more weeks!” His dad promised, but he had to work the next Saturday, and Isak tried to understand that too.

“We have to go next week. It’s the last one!” Isak said.

“We’ll see,” his dad said.

In hindsight, Isak’s grateful his dad wasn’t flippant enough to make another promise. And when they didn’t go the next Saturday, Isak felt a loss he knew was too big-- _it was just an exhibit, he could learn more Googling about space--_ but maybe he knew it was practice for a bigger one. Still, Isak felt like he lost the stars that day.

Sometimes, Isak’s grateful he understands loss. It keeps him on guard. Last year, Jonas’s grandfather passed away, and it shocked Jonas into a sadness Isak hadn’t seen before.

In his worst emotion, Isak was jealous. Because Jonas was twenty, with three living grandparents, parents out of a fucking sitcom, a sister he’d die for, and so many aunts, uncles, and cousins that sometimes he struggled to name them all.

Isak’s only living grandparent is his grandmother on his mom’s side, but her mind went when his mom’s did. His parents couldn’t be parents: he can’t blame his mom for that, but he sure as hell blames his dad. He’s an only child, just like his dad. His mom has a sister, but she pissed off when she claimed his mom was _too sick to be herself anymore._

At least he knows what to expect now. Pain’s enough. He doesn’t need shock too.

Isak feels something: pressure on his back. As Even’s hand moves up and down, gentle but strong enough to feel, Isak makes a conscious decision to think about kissing instead. 

 _Don’t forget_ , Isak thinks. _You said you wanted to kiss me, Even. Don’t you dare change your mind._

\---

There’s no time to kiss in the morning. Not that Isak is overly concerned about that. It’s just a fact.

Everyone’s lazy, hanging around the fire as they eat a breakfast of coconuts. They’re heading to a challenge in less than an hour, so there’s no reason to do anything but wait. There is absolutely no reason at all for Isak to be alone with Even in the woods. Isak would know, as he’s spent all morning trying to think of one. Just as a brain exercise.

He also can’t talk to Jonas with everyone so close. So, he nods along to whatever story Vilde’s telling, watching Even do the same across from him. Even catches him, and Isak decides that anyone who can smile like that must also know how to kiss.

“How do you think Elias will take it when he sees Sana’s gone?” Ingrid asks.

“Poorly?” Even answers. “If he performs like Sana did last challenge, we’re set.”

While part of the rationale for voting Sana out was to weaken Elias, it surprises Isak to hear it from Even like that. They were friends. And, Isak was so focused on getting his plan to work last night that he didn’t see Even’s willingness to betray Elias for the red flag it is. He’s always been a liar, but Isak thought he was at least loyal to the people he was with.

Unless that person is just Isak now. Until someone comes along who is better for Even’s game—which is fine, it’s Survivor—but it reminds Isak to proceed with caution as far as their alliance as goes.

As far as kissing goes, well, that’s something else. Kissing with caution just isn’t as fun.

When they arrive at the challenge and Sachchaai walks in, it takes a second for them to realize what happened.

“Oh my God…”

“…They didn’t?”

“I think Sana’s gone.” It’s not Elias, but Eva who realizes it. She laughs into Noora’s shoulder, who is covering her own mouth in shock. “Fucking hell. I can’t believe they did that.” Isak winks at them.

“Wow, huge reaction from Sachchaai,” Mutta says. “Eva, you seem especially shocked.”

“I mean, it’s great for us,” she says. “If they want to get rid of their strongest challenge asset? I say go for it.”

“So, you think it’s a bad move,” Mutta says.

“I didn’t say that. We were all worried about her in the merge.”

“Elias, you just look blank,” Mutta says, and that’s how Isak would describe it as well. Unreadable, which is unusual for Elias. “You have the only actual blood relationship out here. What are you thinking about?”

Elias takes his time answering. “Revenge, mostly.”

“ _Wow_ ,” Mutta says. “That’s honest.”

Elias shrugs. “And I’m wondering what happened, because I thought Even and I had a deal.”

That’s news to Isak.

Even laughs. “Yeah, so did I. Where’s Yousef again?”

“I had no control over that. I tried to save him.”

“So maybe I didn’t have any control over this.”

“You’re telling me Taagat would’ve voted their strongest player out if you and Isak didn’t join?”

“Absolutely not,” Vilde interjects. 

“You should have fought harder for Yousef."

“It doesn’t mean you should fuck me over like this.”

Even seemed upset Yousef was gone, but Isak didn’t anticipate this. It at least explains why Even would turn on Elias, but _fuck_. Isak knows what secret he needs to keep.

“That’s what makes this season so interesting,” Mutta says. “This doesn’t sound like game. It sounds personal.”

“She’s my sister,” Elias says. “Of course it’s personal.”

“Well, let’s fight it out,” Mutta says. “Are you ready to get to today’s reward challenge?”

The challenge involves paddling out into the ocean to retrieve five heavy, multicoloured blocks. Once they’ve retrieved the blocks, they need to stack them so there are no repeating colours on any side. The first tribe to finish wins reward. Straightforward, but exhausting.

“Do you want to know what you’re playing for?” Mutta asks. At their nods, he continues, “The winning tribe will be taken to the Survivor spa. You’ll get the chance to shower, brush your teeth, shave, and there will be a table of sandwiches and baked goods for you to enjoy. Worth playing for?”

Isak’s _yes_ might be too enthusiastic. It’s just good timing.

Since they have an extra member, Ingrid sits out of the challenge. They agree that Jonas will lead the paddling while Even and Adam will alternate swimming for the blocks. Isak knows it’s a good strategy when Even’s retrieving the first block as Sachchaai spins in circles beside them.

“Sachchaai!” Mutta yells. “You need to go _forward_.”

“Helpful!” Eva replies. “Thanks for that.”

“Vilde and I will take the block,” Jonas says as Even hoists it up to them. “Isak, can you get Even up?”

Well. That’s the question of the day, isn’t it?

Isak doesn’t have to reach for Even’s hand because Even’s already reaching for his. He pulls Even on board, then places his hands on either side of him to keep him on his feet. Even’s short of breath, red, wet, and he has the fucking nerve to smile at Isak before picking his oar up again.

Tagaat finishes retrieving their blocks while Sahchaai’s only on their third. Isak tries to carry one from the boat to their station himself, but he can’t hold its weight without falling over himself.

“Shit, Isak. No one needs you to be a hero.” Now Even’s pulling him up, planting him back on his feet. “You can’t carry this much alone. We’ll lift it together on the count of three?”

Isak nods, grateful for the chance to catch his breath before trying again. On two, he grabs the other end of the block, and on three, he carries it to their station with Even.

It’s almost easy.

They begin the puzzle as Sachchaai reaches shore, and Mutta makes a comment about them catching up. Isak works with Linn to solve it on the ground before they start stacking. “Can you help me?” he asks Even once he’s ready to place the first block. Even grabs the other end without a word.

It’s automatic after that. Sachchaai's placing their first block as they place their fifth, then Mutta announces, “Taagat wins reward!”

Looks like they don't need Sana after all.

“Enjoy the spa,” Mutta says. “You’ll need it after this challenge.”

Isak already feels stiff, his body protecting itself after what he put it through. It needs rest; _food_ ; hot, soapy water to cleanse it.

And perhaps some strong, warm hands to work the rest out.

\---

“Ok, everyone! Let’s toast to Taagat because we dominated today.”

Isak clinks his glass against Vilde’s, embracing her newfound team spirit rather than calling her out on it. She knows she’s on the outs, so she’s trying to strengthen her existing bonds and form new ones. It’s obvious, it’s fake, and it’s desperate, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be useful to Isak.

As Even brings his glass to Isak’s, Isak notices something white on his upper lip. “You have some icing right there, I think.” Isak points to the spot on his own lips.

“Did I get it?” Even asks, dabbing at his lips with a napkin—what a luxury to have _napkins_ —but without any sense of purpose. Before Isak can even shake his head, Even says, “Maybe you could…?”

And sure, they _have_ napkins, but being on Survivor has made Isak aware of a how little a person really needs. They’re wasteful, and for the sake of the environment, Isak reaches over the table and wipes the icing off with his index finger. Upon close inspection, Even’s lips are so chapped they’re cracked, but Isak still likes the way they feel underneath his finger. Soft.

Isak licks the icing off his finger, smirking at the way Even watches him with his lips parted. It’s so fucking fun to flirt knowing the feeling’s requited. He’s never done it before.

So, he stands up and says, “I’m going into the bathing pool.”

Isak hears Even’s chair hit the ground before he follows him in.

The water is hot, clean, and calm—nothing like the ocean. Isak instantly relaxes, reaching for a bottle of body wash. Before he can open it, Even takes it from his hands.

“Allow me.”

Even squirts it onto his hands, rubbing them together to create suds. Isak watches him and Even watches him watch, smiling. They’ve smiled so much today.

Starting with his chest, Even gently works the soap into Isak’s skin by moving his hands in slow circles. It smells like cucumber and green tea, and Isak doesn’t like green, but maybe he will now. “You really did hurt yourself today,” Even says, concerned. “I can feel it.”

Though Isak’s instinct is always to argue that he’s fine, he’s strong, he’s a fucking _survivor,_ his instincts are also telling him that he should do everything in his power to ensure Even keeps touching him. “Yeah. I’m actually really sore.”

“Mm. Let me see if I can help.”

Even moves behind Isak and places his hands on Isak’s shoulders, pressing into them with more pressure than Isak expected. Isak tenses underneath it, until that voice is back in his ear.

“Relax,” Even whispers. “Try not to feel anything but my touch right now.”

Isak closes his eyes and focuses on the way Even’s hands seem to stretch him out, releasing pain he didn’t realize he was carrying. His begins to breathe in time with Even’s movement, keeping the two of them in sync with each other.

“Even! If you give me a massage like that, I’ll never write your name down.” The water ripples as Vilde joins them in the pool. Even removes his hand from Isak-- _for fuck’s sake, Vilde_. “Do you mind?”

Even smiles at her, but because Isak now has a Master’s in Even’s lips, he notices how this one doesn’t reach the sky. Those ones might be just for him, and what a privilege that is. “Of course.”

As Even gives Vilde a halfhearted massage, Isak leaves the pool to brush his teeth.

\---

Everyone’s refreshed after the reward, which means everyone’s working.

Jonas and Ingrid are fishing. Adam’s collecting firewood or continuing to look for the idol. Vilde and Linn are tending to the fire.

Isak and Even say they’re going to gather more coconuts, and they do. They grab a few before they find a small clearing in the woods, surrounded by just enough trees to give the illusion of privacy.

Isak’s breath hitches as Even puts the coconuts down. He expects something quick and fierce, so passionate that it’s almost volatile, something like Even himself.

Instead, Even takes Isak’s face in his hands, brushing his thumb against his cheek. He presses their foreheads together and whispers, “I noticed your eyes first.”

“What?”

“You saw the clue on the boat. You saw me look for the idol without you. You saw that Eskild needed attention and Eva needed a partner. You saw that Sana was scared of you because she noticed that you notice everything too.”

“Can we maybe not talk game right now?”

“I don’t get it. You see everything but the way others see you.”

Even’s right. Isak doesn’t know that because he doesn’t want to. He never thought it would be favourable.

“How?”

But God, the way Even’s looking at him right now. Pretty blue eyes.

“Beautiful, Isak. You are beautiful.”

And he kisses him.

When Isak’s been kissed before, and when he’s been kissed _well_ , his stomach’s gone hollow. He doesn’t feel that way now.

He feels full.

And maybe those kisses were nothing but adrenaline rushes. This, _this_ is a fucking kiss.

Isak understands loss, but he’s beginning to think gain might be possible for him too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> Jonas and Isak will hash things out next chapter. Just had some kissing to get to first. 
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)


	15. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to find a place for his feelings as he talks with Even and Jonas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for your love on the last chapter. ❤ This one is a lot of talking and not a lot of gameplay, but blame Isak and Even for that. They just kept talking to each other. :)
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak likes the way Even kisses, but he really likes the way Even talks.

He starts careful, thoughtful, then gets more and more excited as he continues, words coming out faster and faster. Sometimes, his voice cracks, and that’s cute. Sometimes, he interrupts himself to laugh or kiss Isak’s cheek, and that’s something better than cute.

It’s not that everything he says is smart, true, or even interesting. It’s the way he slips teases and jokes into sentences where they don’t belong, the way he considers and questions everything that’s presented as fact, the way he’s brave enough to talk like this. Isak likes him. He really likes him.

Isak knows they haven’t gathered enough coconuts to justify being away from camp for this long. But, he’s sitting against a tree with Even, hand-in-hand, and he’d quite like to stay here.

“Ok. You’re a superfan, right?” Even asks as he runs his thumb over Isak’s knuckles. “Which Survivor contestant do I remind you of?”

Isak’s quick to answer because he’s already thought about this. “Well, you like to flirt to get your way.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But you’re also smart, manipulative, and really fucking dangerous. You’re Parvarti.”

Even seems pleased with that answer. “Are you worried I’m using you, then?”

“No, because I’m using you.”

“Ah, of course.” Even kisses the top of Isak’s head. “You remind me of Spencer.”

“What the fuck?” Isak drops their hands, but Even just grabs them back and brings them to his lips for a kiss. “I gave you Parvarti and you give me _Spencer_?”

“He’s a good player!”

“He’s an asshole!”

“Your point?” Isak rolls his eyes like he’s mad, but it’s hard to keep up the act when Even leans in to him so their shoulders touch. “He’s a sore loser, which—let’s be honest, Isak. But, he also took the risks he needed to in order to stay in the game. He’s one of the only players that’s as brave as you are.”

The word _brave_ doesn’t sit quite right with Isak. It’s not particularly brave to be in love with your best friend for close to ten years and not say a word, is it?

“You’re the brave one,” Isak says, as though two boys holding hands underneath a tree can't both be brave. “You’re so open with who you are that I thought it had to be fake. And you want to be an artist, right? That’s the most honest, vulnerable thing you can be.”

Even hums. “If you do it right.”

“Yeah, but you probably do. Because I barely you know, but I feel like—ok, I still feel like I barely know you, but I want to know more? I like listening to you talk.”

“You know they caught you on camera saying that, right? So when you tell me to shut up after this, we can go back to the footage.” Isak smiles at the concept of an _after this_ , of listening to Even, of telling Even to shut up, of being with Even. “What do you want to know, Isak?”

“Ok. Movie about your life. What’s the opening shot?”

“This moment right now.”

“That’s cheating.”

“It’s meta. Frames the narrative. And, it’ll be especially poignant given the scenes we have yet to come.” Even squeezes his hand and Isak, well, Isak remembers that he used to be a romantic. “But if that’s not the answer you wanted, what are you really asking?”

“I don’t even know the basics. Like, if we just met at summer camp and had to fill out a questionnaire about each other. Siblings? Pets? Favourite ice cream flavor?”

“Neapolitan.”

“You’re such a fucking cheater.”

“I want to experience everything I can, so three flavours at one? It’s just practical. As for the other questions, no siblings. I have a dog named Romeo and a cat named Juliet—well, they live with my parents, but when I visit it’s obvious who they love most.”

“Good parents?” Isak asks. He only went to camp once, the summer between elementary school and junior high. His dad said it was a good opportunity to make friends, but opportunities are not guarantees. As Isak told a girl he did not become friends with what animal he would be and why, his favourite subject in school, and his ideal superpower, he wondered why none of the questions were about how he felt about things. While he was no expert in friendship, books told him feelings were a crucial part of it.

Isak wants to know how Even feels about things.

“As good as they know how to be.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Even’s eyes finally drift away from him and towards a cameraman, and Isak blushes. He almost forgot. “You don’t have to say, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine. Just, forgive me if I’m a little vague?” Isak nods. “High school was pretty shit for me, especially before I had a name for what I was going through. My dad was better about it, but my mom was into ‘mind over matter’ for awhile. She’s not like that anymore, but I felt so responsible when I couldn’t find the energy to just be myself in the world. There were days it felt impossible, and on the worst of those days? I really hurt some people. I could not shake the guilt of that.”

Isak thinks he understands. The idea of a universe where he’s not sitting here with Even right now makes him want to cry. He always feels like he’s about to cry out here. “Do you still feel that way?”

Even shakes his head. Isak feels a kind of relief he did not realize he was scared enough to justify. “Not usually, thanks to a lot of therapy. I still have bad days. I still have episodes, but I’m on medication that helps temper them.” He pauses. “You know how everyone advertises college as this fresh start?”

“Yeah. It’s bullshit.” Isak had been let down by that promise. “You’re still yourself, just in a new environment.”

“Exactly, but I bought into it. I like romance, you know?” Isak nods because that much is clear. “But I was still myself, I was still really sick, and I was so frustrated by that. I started to withdraw from my friends because I didn’t want to hurt anyone else, and when I wouldn’t talk about it, Yousef asked if I wanted to make a movie about it instead.”

“That’s nice.” Isak means it, and of course he’s grateful Even had a good friend when he needed one, but the nicer Yousef is, the more of a dick Isak is for eliminating him from this game.

“No, it’s a lot more fucking work than talking about it,” Even says, laughing. “But he knew that was how I processed things, and Yousef’s really big on that. He loves thinking, so he made me think, then told me it was bullshit for me to be scared of hurting people when he’s only ever seen me help them. So, that’s what I try to do now. Just be there for people the way he was there for me.”

Even kisses Isak’s cheek, and Isak’s inclined to agree with Yousef. “You’re good at it. Must be easy when you have a marshmallow for a heart, though.”

Even laughs. “It does help, yeah.”

“I didn’t realize you and Yousef were that close. I thought you were just college friends.”

“The same way you and Jonas are just roommates?”

“Yeah. Exactly like that.”

“Mm, it’s cute that you still lie to me.”

“What kind of deal did you make with Elias?” Isak asks to change the subject and because he feels his focus slipping from the game to Even. He can’t sacrifice what he’s here for in exchange for what he’s found here.

Even smiles, leaning in like he’s about to whisper in his ear. “One kiss and you think I’ll spill all my secrets?”

Isak mirrors his smile. “How many will it take, then?”

This time, Isak takes Even’s face in his hands, then kisses this brave, beautiful boy. God, how does it feel even better than the second time? He can only imagine the third, and fourth, and oh, the _fifth_. “Ok, you have excellent powers of persuasion,” Even says once he pulls away. “All we said was that we’d protect each other’s partners in a tribe swap, then the four of us would work together in the merge.”

“So when Yousef left, you took out Sana to kill any hope of honoruing the deal? Very Shakespearean.”

“I do like the classics.”

Even shifts positions so he’s sitting with his head on Isak’s lap, legs sprawled out in front of him. Isak runs his fingers through Even’s freshly-washed, soft hair, trying not to think about how it will soon go limp with grease again. He looks down at Even as Even looks up at him, both smiling.

“Do you think you’ll get away with this?” Even asks.

That’s what finally makes Isak’s stomach go hollow. How could he know about Yousef without talking to anyone Sachchaai? Unless he pieced together that Isak planned it with Noora to hurt him and help Eva, but it’s a stretch to think he would have reached that conclusion on his own.  

Isak stops playing with his hair. “What?”

“I answered your summer camp questionnaire, now you have to answer mine.” Oh. He’d almost rather talk about Yousef. “And hey, you can keep doing that with my hair. I like it.”

Isak tangles Even’s hair with his fingers. “What are your questions?”

“Same ones.”

“I like mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“And the rest?”

There was a reason Isak had trouble making friends. He was a sensitive kid, so when someone asked him a question like _what would you do if you could be invisible for a day?_ , he’d answer that he would go to the doctor with his mom so he could learn some ways to make her feel better. He was always sticking feelings in places they didn’t belong, like how his dad would tell him that he cried over things that weren’t a big deal. He was called gay before he knew what that meant to him, just that he should be ashamed of it.

He still remembers the day his dad asked if he wanted to end up like his mom. Now, his answer would be _better than ending up like you, you piece of shit_ , but at the time, it scared him into silence. He didn’t stop feeling, but he did stop sharing.

Jonas was the only person to get him to open up again, though it’s been slow. It’s not that there weren’t others in his life, well-meaning teachers and gossipy neighbours who’d ask him how things were at home. It’s that Jonas’s approach was the only one Isak trusted, a patient persistence that suggested hr actually cared. He’d tell Isak they could just get high and play FIFA if that’s what he wanted, but that he’d always listen if Isak wanted to talk. And when Isak finally did talk, Jonas never made a big production out of it. He didn’t thank Isak for his vulnerability or congratulate himself on being the person Isak trusted with it. He just listened—sometimes with questions, but always without judgement.

It is so much to trust another person with, even if that person has a marshmallow for a heart. Yes, Even is good, and yes, Even is nice to kiss, and yes, Even opened up to him, but they are still playing Survivor. They are still being filmed. Even’s not the only one with the power to hurt him here. He does not want to go home and find that everyone thinks he’s weak. He does not, quite simply, want to get his feelings hurt.

It’s easier if he doesn’t give him the chance. Even is absolutely the brave one here.

“I don’t have a ‘rest,’ exactly. No family. Shit childhood. You’ve seen enough movies to get the picture.”

“But there’s no movie that tells your story.”

“I don’t think anyone would be interested in that.”

“I disagree.” Even hooks his arm around Isak’s neck to lower him into a kiss. It is soft, and sweet, and Isak’s scared of how easily he could settle right into Even’s warmth. “Hey, you don’t have to say anything. We can just sit here and cuddle. When you want to talk, though? I’ll be here. Because we’re stuck on this fucking island together.”

Isak laughs, sudden and loud. He watches Even’s smile stretch so high that it reaches the clouds. 

 “I liked the way you listened to me,” Even says. “You just let me say what I needed to say. So, I’d love to return the favour someday.”

Isak kisses Even’s forehead. He does like him. He likes him so much. “I wish I would’ve been there in high school,” Isak says. “I wish I could’ve listened to you then.”

“Maybe there’s another universe where we saved each other back then.”

If everything that can happen will happen, that’s a fact.  While Isak doesn’t know what their story will become in this universe, he at least finds comfort in that.

\---

“That’s all you got?”

Isak drops an armful of coconuts off at camp and glares at Adam. “It’s not like we’re starving, right?” Isak stops himself from adding: _And you won’t be here in a few days anyway, so why the fuck do you care?_ Probably best not to come off too defensive.

It’s only the guys at camp; the girls are all sitting together by the water. “Did you catch anything?” Isak asks Jonas, who shakes his head.

“No. But it’s not like we’re starving, right?”

Isak smiles and knows this is their best opportunity to talk. Though Isak’s reluctant to leave Even alone with anyone, Even put the final nail in Adam’s coffin; they’re not about to align behind his back. Beyond that, Isak’s time with Even reminded him that if there’s one person he can trust with his feelings, it’s Jonas. Especially when they’re hurt, and even if Jonas is the reason they’re hurt. “Do you want to take a walk?”

Jonas nods and follows him away from camp. They walk in silence as Isak rehearses what he’s going to say. _I get it. You’re used to me going along with your friends and your plans because that’s all I have back home. Out here, though? I have my own friends, my own plans, and they’re good ones. I invited you into it because I wanted you to be part of it. I’m not saying you have to agree with me or go along with everything I do, but you didn’t even consider the invitation. That’s what hurt. It felt like you only value me as a number in your life and not as your best friend._

Yeah. Imagine if he could say all that.

“So, I fucked up.”

Jonas startles Isak by speaking first. “Are you waiting for me to disagree, or…?”

“No. You almost went home last night, and it’s my fault. I should have listened to you.”

“Yeah.”

When they reach the clearing Isak was at with Even earlier, he stops, and Jonas follows suit. “It’s not only about the game, though,” Isak says.

“It’s also about me being an asshole?”

“Well, yeah—but no, not really. I know I’m like, hanging on to every part of your life. And maybe you don’t mind that, but it feels like you don’t actually want to be part of mine. Which I can’t blame you for, I guess.” Fuck, he’s doing it again. Sticking feelings where they don’t belong.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He’s still not angry, Isak thinks. It’s not really in his nature. When he gets angry, he withdraws so he doesn’t hurt the other person, then eventually tries to understand them. Because he’s a fucking great guy.

“Like here, you don’t want to be part of what I have going on. You wanted to do your own thing, and sure, I could be part of that, but not the other way around.”

Jonas considers that. “It’s kind of a new dynamic for us.”

“I know.”

“But that doesn’t mean, Isak—fuck, of course I want to be part of it. I’m going to choose you over everyone here, and over most people back home too. And it’s not because of some sense of obligation, so don’t give me that bullshit. It's because we're friends." 

“ _Most people_?” Isak repeats, mock offended. “What the fuck?”

“Take it, you shit.”

It’s as close as they’ll get to saying they love each other, but Isak believes they do.

“I’m changing my game,” Jonas says. “Because it’s stupid for me to trust anyone here over you. We’re partners in this.”

“You’re right. You are stupid.”

“So, tell me what you have going on.”

Isak does just that. He explains his alliance back at Sachchaai, his role in Yousef’s elimination, and what happened with the Sana vote—including that it was Linn, not Adam, who voted Sana out.

“Fuck,” Jonas says once he’s finished. “You’re really playing.”

“I’ll go home if I don’t.”

“What’s the thing between you and Even?”

Isak hesitates, partially because he’s not sure what it is himself. Since it’s Jonas, he goes for honesty. “I like him.”

“No shit. Do you trust him?”

“As a person? Yeah. In the game? I trust him for now. If we swap again or merge, I don’t know if he’ll stick with me.”

“So keep him around until we don’t need him anymore?” Isak nods. “Ok. Good. I’m going to try to connect more with him. I think he might target me so he can be closer to you, especially since he doesn’t have a partner anymore.”

“I would kill him for that." 

“Yeah, but he’s a huge liar. You might not even know he was behind it, like you with Yousef.”

That’s true. There’s nothing to stop Even from blindsiding Isak then cuddling up to him at night, just the way Isak’s doing now. “He’s definitely onto the fact that we’re not just roommates.”

“Then maybe we should come clean? Earn some trust?” Telling the truth is typically not the first strategy Isak thinks of, which is why it’s helpful to have Jonas as a partner. Sometimes, it’s the best one.

“You’re right.”

“Ok, so it’s the three of us, Ingrid, and Linn. If we even have two more votes before the merge, we get rid of Adam and Vilde. Easy.”

It is easy, and perhaps Isak should leave it there, but, “You absolutely trust Ingrid?”

Instead of the quick _yes_ Isak’s expecting, Jonas asks, “Why don’t you?”

“I worked with Sara. She would have been loyal to me to a point, absolutely, but I have no doubt she would have tried to backstab me eventually. She was smart and she didn’t fuck around. Ingrid might be like that too.”

“She seems a lot more chill than Sara.”

“Yeah. That’s even more dangerous.”

“Then I need your opinion on something,” Jonas says. Isak’s embarrassed by how much hearing that means to him. “I think I can trust her because she told me she has the idol. She even showed it to me.”

Well. Fuck. That is enough power to cause a problem.

“She said she’d use it on you?” Jonas nods. “I made the same promise to Even, but I had every intention of using it to blindside him.”

“Do you think that’s what she’s doing?”

“I don’t know, but I think it’s more dangerous for her to have it than for her to not. She’ll always use it on herself over you.”

“Then what do we do?”

Isak smiles. _This_ is what he wanted when he applied for Survivor with Jonas. He wanted to experience it all together, especially this part.

“Well, we come up with a plan.”


	16. Boasting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak, Even, and Jonas make a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we're back to the game. :) Enjoy!
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak needs to boast.

If he’s smart, if he’s good at his job, if he can think or do something that adds measurable value to the universe, he has a purpose. His dad used to hang his report cards on the fridge and brag as though he earned the grades himself.  _Isak is smart. Isak will go to university and get a good job. I don’t worry about Isak._

That much is clear.

Knowledge is the most valuable resource in Survivor, and Isak has it. He’s eager to share it with Even, to prove his worth so Even will stay with him even after his breath sours.

“I have a secret. Two, actually.”

They’re sitting in the shelter together as everyone else hangs out nearby. It’s the kind of dark that makes you think you can get away with things, things like holding hands and quick kisses on the cheek. “Oh yeah?” Even says, eyebrows raised. “And how might I get them out of you?”

Isak smirks as he runs his thumb over Even’s hand. “Promise to help me plot.”

“You know I love a good plot.”

They’re talking quietly enough that Isak doubts anyone can hear them, but he leans in to whisper in Even’s ear anyway. It’s just more fun. “Ingrid has the idol. And we have to get rid of it.”

Even lets out a dramatic exhale because he is so fucking over the top that even his breathing is a production. Isak finds it kind of endearing now. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

“Fuck off. I talked to Jonas and he’s on board with flushing it.”

“But not getting rid of her?”

“We already know Adam and Vilde aren’t on our side. Ingrid might be. Why risk losing that?” Of course, voting her out with an idol would be Isak’s preference, but he recognizes it’s not logical.

“And Jonas is still on our side?”

“He will always be on mine.”

Even considers that, then nods. “So, we need to make Ingrid think she’s going home, but that we’re still on her side?”

“It’s a stretch, I know.”

Even makes a noise Isak can only describe as a scoff. “Have some more faith in us. We’re good at this.”

Isak relaxes at what he needed to hear. “Let’s not do anything unless we lose immunity, though. No point in creating suspicion before then.”

“Agreed.”

“And if we lose, we’ll talk with Jonas.”

They’re interrupted by Jonas’s laugh, loud and long. Isak glances over to where he’s building slightly pathetic sandcastles with Ingrid, and—it’s one thing for him to make her laugh like that. He’s a flirt, he’s good at charming girls into laughing like they’re with their best friend. It’s an entirely different thing for Ingrid to bring that laugh out of him.

“I can guess the second secret.” Isak shrugs because yeah, he figured as much. He was going to take Jonas’s suggestion and tell Even the truth anyway. “How long have you known each other?”

“Ten years?”

“And you love him.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

There is too much to say to that, so Isak opts not to say anything at all.

“I get it.” Even’s voice is quieter, closer than before. “The whole in-love-with-your-best-friend thing? It’s a cliché for reason. You almost trick yourself into believing no one else can love you.”

Even squeezes his hand, and though Isak didn’t need him to punctuate his point, he appreciates the gesture nonetheless.

Isak watches the others yawn and stretch, knowing they’ll all be turning in soon. He is happier than he’s been since he started this game. He is happier than he’s been since long before that. He feels an almost desperate need to give Even something in return, to prove he’s worth more than secrets.

“Can I hold you tonight?” Isak asks.

Even’s smile is the first time Isak understands the definition of  _sweet_. “Of course, Isak. I’d like that.”

When everyone’s finally settled in the shelter, Isak wraps his arms around Even’s waist, keeping his grip loose to give Even space. Even closes the distance and snuggles into Isak’s chest, letting out a low, content, fucking adorable hum.

It occurs to Isak that Even might just like being close to him because he likes him. Maybe he wouldn’t if Isak didn’t have secrets to offer. Maybe he wouldn’t if they weren’t stuck on a fucking island together. Maybe he wouldn’t if he knew even a little bit more about who Isak is.

For tonight, Isak tells his brain’s hypotheticals to shut the fuck up, kisses Even’s cheek, and then goes to sleep.

\---

Isak is face-to-face and dick-to-dick with Even, but not in the way he dreamt about last night.

The immunity challenge is near impossible. Each tribe is lined up on a balance beam in the ocean. Starting from the end, each player has to navigate around their tribe members to make it across the beam. Once they’re across the beam, they’re out of the challenge, and the next player has one less person to navigate around. The first tribe to get all their members across the beam wins immunity.

Tagaat’s strategy was to have their smallest members go across first, leaving only Isak, Even, and Jonas on the beam; Adam sat the challenge out.  It’s Isak turn, and it’s difficult to focus with Even’s body against his like this. They have their arms around each other, holding each other in place. “Hey, steady,” Even says as though that’s helpful advice. “Just make it to Jonas.”

Isak lets go to reach for Jonas’s hand, but loses his balance and sends both himself and Even into the ocean instead. By the time he’s come up for air, Eskild’s making his final sprint across the beam.

“Sachchaai wins immunity!”

Isak would never throw a challenge, but he’s not exactly disappointed. If they get rid of Adam and an idol tonight, they’ll only be stronger post-merge.

“I knew we were too cocky going into that,” Jonas says before they swim to the platform. “Rewards make you comfortable.”

“Good point,” Isak says. “We’ll never win anything again to ensure we keep winning.”

Jonas splashes him and Isak’s ready to fight back, but Even interrupts them. “Hey, we’ll talk once we’re back at camp?”

“Definitely,” Jonas says. “I want all of us to actually work together.”

“Well, we could’ve already if you’d listened to Isak on the last vote.”

“Yeah, that was my fuck up,” Jonas says, good-natured. Isak would not describe Even’s tone as good-natured. “I’ll make up for it now. I’m ready to play.”

“That’s good since we’re getting pretty deep into the game.” Even pauses before he smiles, turning it into a joke after the insult’s already settled. God, he is still an asshole, and God, Isak still likes him too much.

“Uh, right.” Jonas hesitates like he wants to say more, but swims for the platform without another word.

“Don’t be a dick about this,” Isak says. “If you can’t work with him, you can’t work with me.”

“I know. I’ll play nice. But….”

“Save the editors some time and cut the dramatic pauses?”

“Can’t blame me for being a little jealous.”

\---

Even not only plays nice, but he plays well.

He starts by presenting the scenario: everyone wants to vote Adam out, but they also want to flush Ingrid’s idol. “So, it’s only four votes to send her home,” Isak says. “Can we somehow convince her you, me, Adam, and Linn are voting her out? She doesn’t know Jonas and I are that close, and I think she knows I don’t like her. She’s already seen me turn on him, so why wouldn’t I do it again?”

Even shakes his head. “We need Linn to play double agent and put the plan in her ear. She won’t trust it coming from us. Vilde, though, is as desperate as Adam. She’ll believe they’ll cling to whatever plan they can. We’ll go along with it because you think she’s playing Jonas.”

“Ok, so you’ll talk to Linn? Or do you want to do it together?”

“I like doing things together—”

“I don’t think this is going to work.”

Isak and Even both stare at Jonas. They constantly forget when other people are with them. “Why not?” Even asks, mostly sincere, but Isak hears the frustration at ruining his fun.

“You’re right: she knows Adam and Vilde are desperate, so she knows she can get them too. If she hears Isak’s working against me? She’ll try to rally the four of us to vote him out, and she won’t understand why I won’t do it. I want to get rid of the idol, but I don’t want to lose her.”

“Do you really think Ingrid would lead something like that?” Isak asks.

“You’re both underestimating her. She’s not stupid.” Jonas pauses. “Which is why we need to take this a step further.”

“And what are your brilliant ideas?” Even says.

“We make her think I’m going home instead.”

Isak watches Even’s reaction: interested, clearly, but there’s also some surprise. Isak feels both defensive and proud of his best friend—yes, he  _can_ be good at this game. Isak nods for Jonas to continue.

“Think about it. Why wouldn’t you, Adam, Vilde, and Linn want to get me out?” Jonas says. “Even, you want me out to be closer to Isak. I voted against Linn, and Adam and Vilde want to do what’ll create the biggest crack in Taagat to give themselves a better shot. Plus, everyone thinks I’m a threat after merge. This is the ideal time to get rid of me.”

Isak watches Even’s reaction to that even more carefully, but he doesn’t give anything away. “Who will warn Ingrid if Linn’s supposedly voting against you?” Even asks.

“I will. I’ll say Isak’s getting bad vibes from you, and we don’t know anything for sure, but it’s better if we’re safe. We just need to make her paranoid. We don’t need to tell her there’s a master plan in place; that’s what will make her suspicious.”

“And you’ll stay close to her?” Isak asks. “So she doesn’t talk to Adam or Vilde?”

“Sure. I won’t tell her anything until it’s close to tribal.”

“It’s not a bad plan,” Even says.

“That’s a compliment, by the way,” Isak says.

“I’ll take it,” Jonas says. “Plus, if I tell her all that and she doesn’t use the idol on me? Maybe gets paranoid and uses it on herself? I know I can’t trust her. It’s a good test.”

This time, Even’s looking to Isak for a reaction, but he doesn’t know which one to give. “Ok, but what do we do after tribal when she sees everyone voted for Adam?” Isak asks.

“We’ll just tell her that you and I got paranoid, but now we’ve confirmed that we’re solid with each other and Even as well.”

Isak’s out of questions, and Even miraculously appears to be as well. “We’re good?” Jonas asks, and they both nod. “Cool. I should get back to Ingrid before she gets suspicious.”

“We’re happy to let you go,” Even says. Isak shoves him once Jonas is gone. “What?”

“You know what. You’re fucking salivating.”

“You look cute today.”

“Not  _that._ This plan sets you up perfectly to blindside Jonas, but Even, I swear to God—”

“Hey.” Even puts his hand over Isak’s. “I won’t do that to you. At least not until we merge.”

“I won’t forgive you. I’m serious.”

“Yeah, I get that. Listen, putting everything else aside and thinking about the game? It’s not the right time for me to get rid of Jonas. I need you, so I need him.”

It’s easier for Isak to buy the logic than the emotion of it, so he nods. “It’s interesting, though,” Even says. “That he’s testing how trustworthy Ingrid is by breaking her trust. I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad move—actually, I didn’t realize Jonas could think like that.”

“Say what you mean. Please.”

“Maybe you should be more worried about Jonas blindsiding me.”

“Even, when we blindside you, we’ll do it together.”

“That’s sweet.”

“Isn’t it?”

They're close now, both smirking, both leaning in--oh, fuck the bad breath. Isak's lips meet Even's halfway. 

They do not kiss the way they kissed yesterday. It’s quick and messy, like they’re both caught up in trying to show off for each other. It’s still really fucking good, though.

So, they do it for a little longer than they should.

\---

Isak has the best seat in the house at tribal.

He’s right above Jonas and Ingrid with a perfect view of her bag. Even better, Even is beside him. Isak’s aware the producers know what they’re doing.

“I have to ask what it’s been like since last tribal,” Mutta says. “Linn?”

“Pretty calm,” she says. Isak and Even filled her in on their plan before tribal to ensure she still felt like part of the alliance.

“ _Really_?”

“Yes. We realized there’s one person who has been playing everyone.”

“And that person is?”

“Adam.”

Adam holds his hands up as though he’s been caught. “To be clear, Mutta,” he says. “It’s  _not_ me. It’s Linn, Even, and Isak telling lies about me.”

“Don’t be desperate,” Even says. “It’s not becoming.”

“Well, there’s a benefit to desperation,” Adam says. “It makes you more attractive to people looking for an alternative.”

“That’s an interesting point,” Mutta says. “When you’re on the bottom, you’ll offer yourself as a number to anyone.”

“And that’s exactly what I’ve done.”

Jonas exchanges a glance with Ingrid. Isak couldn’t have scripted this any better.

The rest of tribal is relatively boring. Adam and Vilde make vague comments about potential plans they may have, but what else are they going to do? Mutta confirms with everyone else that yes, it is one of them, and then it’s time to vote.

Once everyone’s voted and Mutta brings the urn back, he says, “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and you’d like to play it, now would be the time to do so.”

Ingrid reaches into her bag, digs…then looks around, emptyhanded and smiling. “Oh? Were you expecting me to have something?” she says, then focuses her attention on Jonas. “Sorry, but I know when I’m being set up.”

_Fuck._

Even says it out loud. Jonas doesn’t say anything.

“I’ll read the votes.”

The first three votes are for Adam, which is good, tonight’s not a total waste if Adam leaves—“Fourth vote: Jonas.”

“Fuck.”

This time, both Isak and Jonas say it out loud. The fifth and sixth vote are for Jonas as well. Isak reaches for Jonas’s shoulder the way Even reached for his at the last tribal, feeling sick at the thought of losing him already--especially since it’s his fault for convincing him to play so hard.

“The sixth person voted out is…Adam. You need to bring me your torch.”

Isak lets out a dramatic exhale and forgives Even for his earlier one. Sometimes it’s called for.

“What the fuck was that?” Jonas asks Ingrid as Isak squeezes his shoulder. He’s just really fucking grateful. And humbled.

Ingrid shrugs. “You tell me first.”

“Isak,” Even says as they go to leave. “I didn't have anything to do with this. I didn’t tell anyone or vote against Jonas, I swear.”

Isak’s not sure he believes him. The other two votes were likely Adam and Vilde, but someone must have tipped them off. Linn could have, but then why would she keep Jonas in the end? Even likes to fuck with things, and Isak can already hear his justification:  _I didn’t vote Jonas out, so I didn’t lie to you._ It gives him more people to work with post-merge. It gives him an escape plan once he runs out of things to offer Even.

Isak thinks all of this, but hopes he’s wrong. He’s not ready to lose what he’s just gained.


	17. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak embraces lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels somewhat all over the place, and to be honest, it's only half of what I thought I'd get across in this chapter lol. There's a lot of information to convey, but I suppose that just means the game is in full swing? 
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak taught Jonas how to lie.

To his mom when she found beer in the house, to his teachers when his assignments were late, to his girlfriends when he didn’t call. It was, truly, the least Isak could do in return for everything Jonas had done for him.

His advice was to keep it simple. Don’t say anything beyond what you need to say, and the closer it is to truth, the more convincing you’ll be. Watch your body language--intense eye-contact is more telling than no eye-contact at all, keep hand gestures to a minimum. Try not to get defensive: if you ask why they don’t trust you, they’ll suspect they shouldn’t.

Jonas lied constantly, but he was shit at it. He’d turn the accuser’s question back on them, change the subject, lose track of his alibi’s. Isak got on him about it one night when they were drunk. “How do you know I’m bad at it?” Jonas asked. “Maybe I’ve successfully been lying to you for years.”

“You lie to me all the fucking time!”

“I don’t—”

“Like the cabin, when you said you wanted me to join you and Isabell. I know that was bullshit.”

Jonas started at Isak in the way he both craved and hated, like he needed to be examined before receiving care. He wanted care. He could do without the analysis.  “You always think that.”

Turn the question back on the accuser.

“Because it’s true.”

“Why would I spend my Friday night doing shit all with you then?” Jonas broke eye-contact and chugged his beer. “We should go out. At least see a movie or something.”

Change the subject.

Isak didn’t push it. He just got really drunk that night.

Even’s a good liar, but Isak knows that.

“I didn’t tell anyone but Linn about tonight’s plan.”

Simple and specific, and it could even be true. That doesn’t mean Even didn’t tell anyone anything else that could have tipped them off.

“You’re not mad that I don’t trust you?” Isak asks, baiting him.

Even’s gaze has been steady on Isak, but now he looks down as he shakes his head. “No, Isak. I have given you so many reasons not to trust me, and you know I don’t love Jonas.”

He’s validating Isak’s suspicions, telling him _no, you are not wrong to think this way, but you are wrong about the facts._ He’s really working to make him feel comfortable.

“But I told you earlier, I have no reason to get rid of him now. And if I did? I would’ve voted him out. If I devise a master plan, I’m sure as hell going to see it through.”

It’s possible that Even _did_ vote for Jonas; Isak has no confirmation Ingrid, Vilde, and Adam were the three votes. Even pulled Isak aside immediately after tribal, and Jonas did the same with Ingrid. He glances over to where Ingrid’s more animated than he’s ever seen her, yelling and gesturing with her hands. Jonas is trying what he always does, getting closer to her, complimenting her, _lying_ , but it doesn’t appear to be working.

Tribal was a shitshow, yes. Their plan failed miserably, of course. They lost a potential ally in Ingrid, absolutely.

Isak is still gleeful at the sight, but that emotion’s subdued by how much he hates himself for it.

“You don’t believe me,” Even says.

“Well, you’re a liar.”

“I completely understand how that affects my credibility.”

There’s a smile, like none of this is that serious in the grand scheme of things, a look like he might want to kiss Isak again. It’s too much for Isak to make sense of, so he’s grateful when they’re interrupted by Jonas.

“How’d it go?” Isak asks. “Did she tell you who told her?”

“Yeah,” Jonas says. “I did.”

“What?”

“I guess she thought it was strange that I talked to you guys right after the challenge, then was suddenly paranoid Even was coming after me. She didn’t think you’d betray me like that, Isak, or that Even would betray you by taking out your partner.”

Of course. Jonas is a shit liar.

“She’s smart,” Even says. “Because she’s right about everything.”

“But she could have been wrong?” Isak says. “Would she really risk losing you just based on her intuition? Someone must have told her something.”

“Well, as she put it,” Jonas says, then grimaces. “Losing me is, apparently, not at all heartbreaking. If she was wrong and there was a plan to get me out? At least she’d be on the right side of the vote.”

“Ruthless,” Even says.

“Try to sound less impressed,” Isak says. Even shrugs, still giving him that smile, still giving him that look. And Isak understands now that Even is not such a brilliant liar that he can make the unbelievable sound truthful. He was just being honest.

Isak’s more uncomfortable now than when he thought Even was lying.

“So the three votes were definitely her, Vilde, and Adam?”

Jonas nods. “She told them to vote for me minutes before tribal. What else were they going to do? They didn't exactly have a master plan of their own."

“Fuck. And she still has the idol.”

“But not the numbers,” Jonas says. “She only has Vilde. You guys still have Linn?”

“Yes, so we’re ok,” Even says. “Next tribal, we split the vote: two for Vilde, two for Ingrid, two for whichever one of us they vote for. They’ll play the idol on Ingrid or Vilde. We’ll have the numbers in the revote to get rid of whoever they didn’t use the idol on.

“As long as no one flips,” Isak says. All they’d need is one more person to take them out, and Ingrid wouldn't even need to use her idol. 

“I’m not flipping. Are either of you planning on it?” Even says. At their silence, he continues, “I don’t think Linn will, either. We’d just be keeping our enemies around in a merge.”

“I thought you liked having enemies,” Isak says, and Even raises his eyebrows. So, he’s being difficult. He didn’t question enough before the last tribal. He’s not risking that again.

“Sure, it keeps things interesting,” Even says. “But at this point? I’d much rather have you. You still give me the resistance I need.”

Jonas coughs. “Let’s just win immunity so we don’t have to worry about any of this,” he says.

“Brilliant strategy,” Even says. “Wish I’d thought of it myself.”

Jonas rolls his eyes and leaves them to turn in early. “So, he’s probably not cuddling with Ingrid tonight,” Even says.

“Fuck off. You know I’m still going to sleep with you.”

“Oh, you like me.” Even’s smiling because the asshole knows he’s right. “Are you disappointed tribal didn’t give you a reason not to?”

“You’ve given me plenty. You’re a liar, you’re not as funny as think you are, your body odour is the worst out here—”

“But?”

“But.” Isak sighs and takes in everything past Even’s grin: the way he focuses on and listens to others, the way he opens himself up, and yes, the way those lips make Isak forget that he’s hungry, tired, and sad. The fact that ever since they unofficially aligned, Even’s only proved himself to be trustworthy—both with Isak’s game and Isak himself. “I don’t know. Something feels right when we’re together.”

“I know what you mean.”

Isak’s surprised at that. Something’s always felt wrong to others. _Too needy, too emotional, I just can’t do this anymore, Isak. I can’t stay with you._

Even barely knows him. Truly, he doesn’t know what he’s saying, and this will all feel different once they’re off the island and back in the real world. They are both lying to themselves. Isak’s so fucking sure of it that it almost breaks his heart.

But, Isak is a good liar. He looks around to ensure no one’s watching them, then gives Even a quick kiss he considers to be one of his best.

Fuck it. He’s somehow playing Survivor, competing in challenges, plotting blindsides, finding idols, kissing a boy. This whole situation is like his imagination tricked reality into letting it rule.

He might as well surrender to it and enjoy playing pretend.

\---

When they arrive at the challenge, there’s no challenge in sight.

 _Merge._ It has to be. Isak could work with Eva again. And Eskild. Maybe even Mahdi. Along with Even, Jonas, Linn, and Noora, which, fuck. It’s way too many people for an alliance. How the fuck did he end up in a situation where he has too many friends?

“Everybody,” Mutta says by way of introduction. “Drop your buffs.”

To avoid panicking, Isak does the math. Jury usually starts at merge, so if they merge now and it’s a final two, there would be ten people on the jury. If it’s a final three, there would be nine. Either way, it could tie—unless they do one of those bullshit twists where they vote a member off jury. Then again, jury doesn’t _have_ to start at merge—

Mutta grabs a tray from behind him like he’s revealing the new buffs, but they’re all hidden in drawstring bags. There’d be no reason for that if they were merging.

“We’re switching things up.”

Tribe swap. Again.

Isak’s first thought is that he doesn’t want to play this game without Even. Once they’ve both selected their bags, Isak watches Even fiddle with the string on his. He’s comforted knowing he’s nervous, too.

“Ok. Everyone open your bags to see your new tribe.”

Isak sees red. Sachchaai. It doesn’t feel like going home, that’s fucking stupid, he was only there a few days and will be with different people this time anyway—but he is a little excited.

He is more than little excited when he looks beside him and sees Even placing a red buff around his forehead. On the other side of him, Jonas is wearing blue, and Isak is ashamed that he feels relieved.

At this stage, his game is easier without Jonas on his tribe. It’s just a fact.

After a shuffle of people moving back-and-forth, he finds himself standing with Even, Eva, Ingrid, Elias, and Mahdi on the red mat, leaving Jonas, Vilde, Chris, Eskild, Linn, and Noora on Taagat.

It could have gone much worse. He’s excited to be on Eva’s tribe again: he still wants to partner with her, though he’s not sure how she’ll respond to Even. It’s not like Even and Elias are going to work together now. Ingrid’s a total outsider; her idol is no guarantee of her safety. Mahdi’s flipped before, maybe, but Isak doubts he’ll see Ingrid and Elias as a viable alliance. Isak’s in a pretty good position.

He suspects Jonas will do ok on Taagat, too. He’s got Noora, and though Linn gravitated more towards Isak and especially Even, she’ll know that keeping him around will help her long-term. Eskild’s goodwill towards Jonas might help, too. They’ll probably target Chris and Vilde as the only other pair.

He’s lucky. Luck's not how you win Survivor, but it doesn’t fucking hurt.

“Ok, interesting,” Mutta says, as though he’d say otherwise if it wasn’t. “Ingrid, you’re the only original Taagat member now on Sachchaai. Does that worry you?”

“Of course,” Ingrid says. “But, I know there are tensions here. Even and Elias almost fought a couple of challenges ago. There could still be a place for me.”

Whatever. Whether she or Elias goes, Isak doesn’t really give a shit. As long as he keeps Even and Eva in the merge, he’ll be ok.

“Vilde, you’ve finally been reunited with your partner,” Mutta says. She’s squeezing Chris like they’ve been separated for months. “How do you feel?”

“Like I finally have someone to talk to out here,” Vilde says. “I might even get to laugh." 

“Linn, you’re in the same situation,” Mutta says. “Do you feel the same way?”

“It was a relief to be away from Eskild,” Linn says.

Eskild rolls his eyes. “Don’t listen to her. She adores me, she missed me, and we’re both very excited to play this game together now.” Linn gives a quick smile that suggests she might agree.

“And on the flip side,” Mutta says. “Isak, you’ve been separated from your partner. How are you feeling?”

“It sucks,” Isak lies. “But, I think we both need to play our own games. At least until the merge.” He watches for Jonas’s reaction, and tries not to be hurt when he nods.

“Eva, do you feel the same way?” Mutta asks.

“Uh, no. Not at all,” Eva says, laughing. “Noora’s game is my game, but I’m also really going to miss having her to talk to. I can tell her everything and trust her with anything.”

Isak realizes that’s not as much of an issue for him because he has Even. He’s not going to tell him everything, and he certainly doesn’t trust him with anything, but still.

He’s someone to talk to.

\---

“Ok, I need to know everything _._ Is Taagat’s shelter really that much better than ours? How the hell did you get Sana out? Have you and Even made-out in the middle of an argument yet? You definitely have, right?”

Isak laughs at Eva before dunking underwater. They’re in the ocean together as everyone else is working back at camp. He was nervous to leave Even alone, but there’s so much bad blood between him and Elias, he tried to play Ingrid at the last tribal, and Isak knows he doesn’t trust Mahdi. He’s not going to look to any of them for a new alliance. Even needs Isak and Eva, and Isak enjoys feeling needed.

“Really?” Isak says when he comes back up for air. “You’re not going to ask me how I was? What it was like being with Jonas again? If I was hungry, cold—”

“Please. Even wouldn’t let you get cold.” That’s true. “If we talk about feelings right now, I’m going to get sad that Noora’s not here, and I don’t want to be sad. I just want to play the game.”

“Yeah. I definitely get that.”

“And I want to play the game with you. Noora told me about your conversation with her. Do you and Jonas still want to go to final four with us?”

“Absolutely.” Truthfully, Isak hasn’t exactly consulted with Jonas about that, and truthfully, he might want to go with Even, but truthfully, Isak is a liar. “I think we can make it there together.”

“Me too. You know, when Noora came over here, she told me right away that we needed to start planting seeds about how dangerous Yousef is. She liked you. She thought you were smart.”

“She’s an excellent judge of character, then. Especially since she loves you.”

“Oh, charming, but there’s a reason I didn’t trust Even.” Eva smiles, lighthearted. “It felt so good to take out his partner.”

Isak knows what he has to do.

He can’t play this game without Even, but he can’t play it without Eva either. Eva’s not going to trust Even, partially because of what Isak’s said about him. So, he’ll continue to work with Even, but he’ll make Eva think he’s playing Even. He’ll be honest about everything but the fact that he actually cares for Even.  And, he’ll tell Even all of this so he’ll play along. Isak’s not worried about it. Even fucking loves a good scheme.

“How did you get Yousef out?” Isak asks, smiling like they’re in on a conspiracy together. Which, they kind of were.

“Oh, it wasn’t hard.” Eva shrugs. “Chris and Elias never exactly had a bond, but I’ve always gotten along with her. Noora and I got her on our side pretty easily. I wasn’t sure about Mahdi because I think he might have been the flipper—”

“He was. Even told me.”

Eva raises her eyebrows. “We trust Even now?”

“I have so much to tell you, but you finish first. You got Mahdi?”

Eva nods. “I figured he didn’t have another option. If he went with Elias and Yousef, he wouldn’t have the numbers. It was simple: 4-3 vote.”

“So you didn’t have to use your advantage?”

“You remembered that.”

“Of fucking course I remembered. Do you have an idol? Can you cancel a vote?”

“I’m going to need something from you first.” Eva crosses her arms, and Isak’s more impressed than frustrated. It’s better for him if she’s careful with information. “Tell me about Even.”

Ok. Keep the lie as close to the truth as possible.

“We kissed.”

Eva’s eyes widen and she slaps Isak’s arm. “Fucking hell! Didn’t I say you would?”

“Yes. You’re a genius.”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m not…,” Isak starts, then shakes his head. “I like him. I’d definitely hook-up with him outside of this game. But, it’s not anything more than that. I think he’s really starting to like me, though. He definitely trusts me.”

“Oh?”

“He tells me everything he’s planning. He wants to work with me, and I’ll work with him as long as it suits me, but—I’m loyal to you, Eva.”

“Maybe he was only like that because he knew he needed you on Taagat.”

It’s only one of Isak’s biggest insecurities, but he tries to move past it. “Even if that’s the case, he needs me here. We can use him.”

“And you won’t have any problem backstabbing him?”

“Fuck no. I’ll sharpen my knife for it.”

Eva dunks underwater. It’s a great excuse to give yourself time to think. She takes her time shaking out her hair when she resurfaces, then says, “Ok. You told me about your idol, and the kiss, so. I have an extra vote.”

Beautiful. “That could be a lot of power.”

“I know. I’m trying to hold onto it as long as I can. But if I need to use it to protect either one of us, I will. Once I’m with you, and I know you’re with me? I’m loyal, Isak. Tribe swaps and the merge won’t change that.”

“Same.”

Eva nods, and that settles it. Their alliance is reconfirmed.

“Ok,” Eva says. “I’m going to need details about this kiss.”


	18. Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak balances his various partners in the game, but barely thinks about Jonas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is long (for me), and potentially a little messy...but it was fun. :) Enjoy! 
> 
> Chat me with on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak’s not used to seeing Even alone.

Even’s sitting by the ocean, skipping rocks as the sun sets. They’ve barely spoken today as Isak’s caught up with Eva and Mahdi, wanting to solidify his relationships with them before bringing Even into an alliance where he used to be the enemy.

It is fucking ridiculous for Isak to miss him considering they’ve been spent every day and night together in incredibly close quarters, and yet. He wants to fucking run to him now.

He settles for a brisk walk. Approaching from behind, Isak runs his fingers along Even’s neck. Even smiles at the touch, then tilts his head to smile at Isak. Isak plants a quick kiss on his cheek, then sits beside him.

“Ah, so you haven’t completely abandoned me,” Even says. Isak rolls his eyes. “You shouldn’t give me that much time to think. You know I’ll start devising plans.”

“As long as I’m a part of them.”

“Well, yes. It would be weird if you weren’t involved in your blindside.”

“Hilarious.” Isak bumps his shoulder against Even’s, and Even bumps his back. “I take it you didn’t have a heart-to-heart with Elias?”

Even snorts. “No. He won’t even look at me, which is fine. Forgiveness doesn’t belong in Survivor, anyway.”

Isak has to disagree. Without forgiveness, they wouldn’t be sitting together like this. Though, maybe whatever _this_ is doesn’t belong in Survivor, either.

Even throws a rock that sinks as soon as it touches the ocean. “You’re bad at that,” Isak says.

“Hm.”

Isak waits for a challenge, a taunt, a touch, anything, but Even’s quiet as he stares at the water. “You ok?” Isak asks.

Even looks surprised, then nods, then shakes his head. Isak recognizes the reaction, the pure confusion at the concept of _being ok_ and at someone being concerned if you are. It makes him want to hold Even’s hand, so he does.

Even smiles again. It’s like the first sip of water after a challenge. “Mm, I’ve been worse, but I’m not exactly ok either,” he says. “Just been a long day. This game can be so fucking lonely.”

Isak doesn’t get it. This is the most connected he’s felt to other people in as long as he can remember. Still, he’s watched enough Survivor to know what usually makes people cry. “Missing your family?”

“I’m missing everyone. You don’t realize how nice it is to be around people who know you.” Of course, Isak doesn’t know really know Even, and he knows that, but it still hurts. It’s incredibly easy to get hurt out here. “I don’t know. It was just hard seeing people reunited with their partners today.”

“There’s a disadvantage to that, too,” Isak says. “People who know you have expectations of you, and maybe you want to be someone different in this game. You’re free to do whatever the fuck you want.”

“Strictly talking game?” Even says. “You’re probably right. It’s probably for the best that I never got to play with Yousef. But, today I was thinking how it really fucking sucks that I never go to play with Yousef, and I’d like to stew in that for a little while longer. If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah. Feel whatever you need to feel.”

Even squeezes his hand. “I like you, Isak.”

“I like you, too. Any particular reason you like me me, or…?”

“Are you literally asking me to stroke your ego?”

“Mhm.”

Even, really, doesn’t seem to mind the request. “I know you want to talk game, but you’re just sitting with me instead. And that’s what I need right now.”

It’s true, but Isak doesn’t exactly deserve the credit he’s been given. Yes, he wants to tell Even about his conversation with Eva, he wants to speculate about Taagat, he wants to plot their next move, but that’s not why he wanted to run to Even in the first place.

Isak just missed him, and he is quite content to just sit with him.

\---

In the morning, after about three hours of sleep, Isak scolds himself for getting sappy last night. He is on a new tribe with new dynamics, there are plans to employ, and there is a fucking game to play.

“I didn’t tell you my brilliant plan last night,” Isak says to Even as they fill up waterbottles before the challenge.

Even raises his eyebrows. “Well, if _you’re_ calling it brilliant—”

“Fuck off. Ok, there’s no way in hell we can work with Elias or Ingrid. We have to work with Eva, at least for now. The problem is—or _was_ —that she doesn’t trust you.”

“Right. It’s a little ironic.”

“How?”

“She flipped on me, and thus doesn’t trust me.”

“She flipped on you because she couldn’t trust you.”

“Because of what you told her.”

“Well, then the good news is that she trusts me.” Isak grins, and Even rolls his eyes. It’s an unsettling role reversal. “She’ll work with you as long as she believes that I’m controlling you. So, we need to make her think I’m playing you.”

Even does not immediately start complimenting Isak’s brilliance. In fact, he barely reacts at all. “Kind of seems unnecessary.”

“You fucking love the unnecessary.”

“We overplayed last tribal. It might do us some good to keep things simple. Why can’t we just tell her that we’re working together? Why do you have to be playing me?”

The answer is that Eva can’t think he’ll chose Even over her, and Isak can’t think of any reason to tell Even but that. It’s risky, but it’s not exactly news: Even already knew he was close with Eva. And, maybe he’ll earn some trust by telling Even the truth. “I have a final four with her, Noora, and Jonas. It’s not real, obviously, but she needs to think it is.”

“When did you make that?”

“We only confirmed it yesterday, but we’ve been talking about it since we were on Sachchaai.”

“Is that what you and Noora talked about? Before the first swap?”

Isak nods because it’s not only true, but also a decent alibi. If Even believes that’s all they talked about, he won’t suspect that they also discussed Yousef.

“If that’s not real,” Even says. “Are you saying this is?”

Isak hesitates. They’ve made a truce, worked together on multiple votes, and kissed more than once, but they haven’t made any promises to each other about their long-term games. Isak can’t imagine Jonas or Eva would be keen to take Even until the end, but also doesn’t want to lose Even just yet. “Yeah. I need someone to keep me warm, so let's see this through." 

“And you think Jonas will be ok with that?”

“He doesn’t have other options. I think he’ll listen to me now.” Isak puts the waterbottles down and steps closer to Even, wrapping his arms around Even’s waist. “And if he doesn’t, won’t you just get rid of him anyway?”

“Mm, but maybe I should be more worried about Eva.”

“You have nothing to worry about. She’s how we survive Sachchaai.”

Isak kisses Even’s forehead and cheek, then smiles until Even kisses him properly.

“You’re playing dirty.”

“Thought that’s how you liked it.”

Even grins, and it’s a relief. Isak knew he missed Even yesterday, but he didn’t realize he missed each one of his smiles too.

“Look, there’s no way there’s more than three tribals before merge,” Isak says. “Even if we lose every challenge, we get rid of Elias, Ingrid, and Mahdi. You said you want to keep things simple, and this is as simple as it gets.”

Even nods, holding up his hands in surrender. “Ok. I trust you, Isak.”

“I trust you, too.”

Isak knows that won’t always be true for either of them, but he lets the words relax him anyway.

\---

Isak doesn’t get why the producers have to make everything so fucking symbolic.

It’s a simple challenge, designed like a relay race. Each tribe member must swim through a series of obstacles. Once everyone reaches shore, two tribe members have to solve a puzzle. The first tribe to solve the puzzle wins.

Of course, for no fucking reason, they’re starting the challenge on a tall platform they need to dive off of. Conquering fears, taking risks, all that bullshit. When you’re actually confronted with your fears, you don’t decide to be courageous or congratulate yourself for it. There’s no time for that. Mom’s sick, dad left, ok—it sucks, but you have to deal with it, so you do. You just fucking swim.

Isak volunteers to go last: the tribe’s anchor. He’s confident on this one. Elias hesitates on the platform, and to his surprise, Even does as well. Eva, he thinks, is the bravest other than himself.

When it’s his turn, Isak dives, swims, and conquers the obstacles before he’s fully processed that they’re in his way. He reaches shore before he knows it, and slightly before Jonas does for Taagat.

Eva and Ingrid volunteered for the puzzle, and they’re working slowly, but carefully. “Let’s go!” Elias yells, motivating Isak to speak up himself.

“Take your time! Think it through.”

“Sachchaai doesn’t know if wants to go fast or slow!” Mutta says. “I’m going to recommend fast. Taagat’s making quick work of their puzzle.”

Isak glances over to see Linn and Noora working on it, and Mutta’s right. They're halfway finished.

“Look at theirs!” Isak yells, feeling more like himself now that he’s proposing cheating as a strategy. The girls listen to him, then confer with each other again. Even if they’re not as quick as Taagat, they’re thoughtful enough to work well together.

It doesn’t matter in the end. As Mutta announces that Taagat’s placing their last piece, Sachchaai’s only halfway. Taagat wins, and Isak’s going to tribal.

He’s not all that disappointed. He knows how to ensure his own safety, and he believes he has, but he can’t do the same for Jonas when they’re on separate tribes. 

This keeps them both safe. 

\---

“The only thing that makes me nervous is Ingrid’s idol.”

Back at camp, Isak’s pulled Even, Eva, and Mahdi aside to plan the vote. It’s either Ingrid or Elias, but as Isak expressed, Ingrid’s idol complicates things. “It shouldn’t,” Even says. “We can use the same plan we came up with at Taagat when it was her and Vilde. Two votes against Elias, two against Ingrid, and they put two against one of us. When we revote, we’ll all vote for whoever they didn’t use the idol on.”

“It’s small numbers to split the votes,” Eva says.

“What choice do we have?” Even says. “If we’re wrong about who Ingrid plays the idol for, one of us goes home. It’s not like any of us are going to flip.”

“No one ever expects someone to flip,” Mahdi says. Isak resists rolling his eyes; Mahdi can’t believe he’s gotten away with the Sara vote now that Isak’s close with Even, but maybe he’s just that oblivious. It at least reassures Isak that Mahdi’s not perceptive enough to be a true threat.

“I’m solid,” Isak says. “Where else would I go?”

“Me too,” Eva says.

“And yes, I am also going to follow my own plan,” Even says. “So, we’re good.”

They agree that Mahdi and Even will vote for Elias, while Eva and Isak will vote for Ingrid. It’s simple until Mahdi and Even go for firewood, leaving Eva and Isak alone. Eva’s biting her bottom lip and almost cringing: a _thinking_ face if Isak’s ever seen one.

“What?” Isak says. “What is it?”

“I really don’t think we should split the vote. If Even or Mahdi flip, they can send us home.”

“Why would they? What do either of them have to gain from that?”

“Allies in Elias and Ingrid? Ingrid’s idol? I know you think you’re controlling Even, but…come on, Isak. He’s always going to do what’s best for him.”

“This _is_ what’s best for him.”

“Does he believe that? And maybe actually think about it for two seconds before arguing with me.”

Chastised, Isak does as he's told. Since rejoining Sachchaai, Even’s only expressed bitterness towards Eva. Isak’s ignored him for her, revealed their final four, and Even said that he was more worried about her than he was about Jonas.

Still. “If he takes you out,” Isak says. “He knows he’ll lose me. I don’t think he wants that. And I know he doesn’t want to work with Elias.”

“Maybe he doesn’t have to. All he needs is Ingrid and Mahdi to control the vote.”

“Mahdi’s with us.”

“I’m sure that’s why he volunteered to help Even with the firewood.”

Isak realizes that while Even sold Mahdi out, Mahdi clearly doesn’t know or even suspect that. And between himself and Even, Even was the last person Mahdi worked with. “Does Mahdi know I was involved in Yousef’s vote?” 

“Yeah. We had to tell him. We thought he’d be more inclined to work with us that way.”

Well. None of this is great.

“Maybe I’m being paranoid,” Eva says.

Isak shakes his head. “Even’s been pissed about Yousef lately. He’ll dig, and he will come after me for it. And we can’t fucking trust Mahdi, I knew that.”

“Then what’s our play here? I have my extra vote, but at most it’ll force a tie. If all four of them are together, they’ll have the numbers regardless. And if they play the idol right, it doesn’t matter how many we votes we have.”

It’s enough variables to make Isak’s head spin. He focuses on what he does know. He has Eva, 100%. She has power in an extra vote. Ingrid has even more power with the idol. Even, Elias, and Mahdi are unknown variables at this point, so he can’t plan around them.

“We need Ingrid.”

“Oh?”

“You need to get Ingrid,” Isak clarifies. “Because she doesn’t like me. You worked well together in the challenge, right? And maybe you can bond over being the only two girls on the tribe. Say you’re using me, I don’t fucking care, just do what you need to do. If we get her, we don’t have to worry about the idol, and with your extra vote, we have the majority.”

Eva nods. “I need to offer her something, though. A better deal than what she has now.”

Isak considers this. “Sara told me that she’s like you. I didn’t agree with what she said, but—”

“What did she say?”

“Desperate to fit in.” Isak winces at Eva’s expression. “She’s wrong. Neither of you are, but you both want to be part of something, right? Like _really_ part of it, not just a number. That’s all she’d be to Even, just like that’s all you were to him. Use that.”

“Yeah. Ok. I can do that.”

“Of course you can.”

“If she wants to be part of something, she needs to feel like she's making a move. Something beyond voting out Elias."

"Like Mahdi? I'm ok with that. At least we know where Elias stands. Mahdi's a fucking wildcard."

"Yeah, or Even?"

“Let’s go with Mahdi. I’ve still got a decent read on Even.”

Eva raises her eyebrows at that, but doesn’t comment. Really, even as he suspects Even’s betraying him, Isak does not want to lose him from the game. What fun would that be? Plus, he’s a little worried Even will pull out some superidol bullshit he’s managed to keep a secret this entire time.

"Ok, but we need to work fast." 

They walk back to camp without another word. When they reach the shelter, they find Ingrid there, alone. It would be ideal if it weren’t so concerning.

“Where’s Elias?” Eva asks.

“He went to get firewood with Even and Mahdi.”

Well, fuck.

“Do you want to go for a swim?" Eva asks Ingrid, who smiles at the offer. “Don’t worry. We can leave Isak behind.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Isak’s left alone as they walk into the water together, but he doesn’t feel it. People are fighting for him. People are fighting against him. People care, and he’s embarrassed to realize how much he cares that they do.

Someone is getting blindsided tonight, and while he’s nervous it won’t go in his favour, he’s really fucking happy to be part of this at all.

He can’t wait for tribal.

\---

Isak could have waited a little longer for tribal.

Eva assured him they were good minutes before tribal, but they didn’t have time for a discussion beyond that. Now, they’re halfway through tribal, and Isak’s analyzing everything. Ingrid brought her idol: she’s not even trying to hide it in her bag. Why did the producers sit Isak in front of Even instead of beside him? Is Mutta wearing blue just to make Isak think of Even’s pretty blue eyes?

God. He needs to get a grip.

“Elias, Even,” Mutta says. “We saw you almost fight a few days ago. How is it being on the same tribe again?”

“We’re civil,” Elias says. “We’ve done some work around camp together.”

“Silently,” Mahdi says.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

“Even, is it hard for you to be on a tribe with people who voted out your partner?” Mutta says.

“Not necessarily. I understand, for example, why Eva had to do it,” Even says. “If it wasn’t Yousef, it would’ve been her or Noora.”

“So everything’s forgiven?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Isak suspects it’s easier for Even to forgive Eva than it is for Even to forgive him.

“Has there been any talk of idols?” Mutta asks.

“It’s no secret I have one,” Ingrid says, pulling it out of her bag and placing it around her neck. “Might as well look pretty before the vote.”

“Are you saying you’re going to play it?” Mutta asks.

Ingrid shrugs. “I’ll see where the mood takes me. I might not even play it for myself.”

Isak glances at Eva, but she doesn’t make eye-contact with him. It is not reassuring.

“Who is confident they know how the vote will go tonight?” Mutta asks. No one raises their hand. “Wow. No one at all?”

“It’s Survivor,” Isak says. “Expect the unexpected.”

“Wrong tagline, but good point."

Mutta declares it's time to vote, but Eva interrupts him. “Mutta?” she says, standing up. “Before we do that, I’d like to play my advantage.”

Isak hears Even curse behind him, and he knew it. He fucking knew it. That fucking beautiful snake.

Mutta takes the advantage from Eva. “This is an advantage that allows Eva to cast one extra vote tonight,” he confirms. “Eva, you’ll get two parchments, and you’ll vote first.”

As they vote, Isak feels Even nudge his back. He doesn’t turn around. Whatever they have to say to each other depends entirely on how the vote goes.

When Mutta’s returned with the urn, he asks if anyone would like to play the hidden immunity idol. Ingrid doesn’t do anything but fiddle with it like a necklace.

Good. That’s a good sign.

“I’ll read the votes,” Mutta says. Isak would hold his breath if there weren’t already enough causes for medical emergencies out here.

“First vote…Eva.”

“Second vote…Eva.”

“Third vote…Eva.”

Fuck it. Isak’s holding his breath.

“Fourth vote…Mahdi.”

“Fifth vote….Mahdi.”

“Sixth vote…Mahdi.”

“The seventh person voted out of the game is….Mahdi. You need to bring me your torch.”

Isak exhales. It worked. It fucking worked.

“Thank you,” he says to Ingrid, who ignores him to high-five Eva. Fair enough.

Mahdi’s clearly shocked as Mutta snuffs his torch, but he leaves in silence. Even puts his hand on Isak’s shoulder, but it’s not the reassuring touch it was when they voted Sana out.

Isak turns around.

“Got you first,” Isak says. “Told you I would.”

“You’re lucky Eva had an advantage,” Even says.

“No. I’m smart enough to align with someone who finds advantages.”

“It was well-played.”

“I know.”

He sounds a little pissed, but what right does he have to be? He went after Eva first, and there’s something kind of fun about the anger, caring about each other in a different way, that Isak decides to be a little mad himself. “You could have just talked to me about Yousef. You didn’t have to go after Eva in retaliation.”

Even furrows his eyebrows. “Yousef?”

“Yeah? Eye-for-an-eye? I take out your partner, and you couldn’t get Jonas, so you got the next best thing.”

“What did you have to do with Yousef leaving?”

Oh.

The realization hits Isak as Even says, “This wasn’t about that. This was about you choosing Eva over me. But this didn’t work, and now that I know that….”

Even sounded a little pissed before, but he sounds different now.

“What, Even?”

“Look forward to my retaliation.”


	19. Playing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They are not falling in love here, as much as the moonlight tricks Isak into believing otherwise. They’re just playing, so they can kiss, tease, and fight all at once. What does it matter how complex the feelings are when none of them are real?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late! I posted this on my [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com), but updates will be slower in December because I'm working on some holiday stuff and it's just a busy month. (And small plug for my tumblr: I post a lot of drabbles on there I don't post on here, so check it out if you're interested!)
> 
> Enjoy!

Isak needs to talk to Even.

He needs to remind him they were still enemies when he targeted Yousef, and it’s a little hypocritical to be pissed at him when Even would happily go after Jonas. And Eva, for that matter. He, technically, turned on Isak first. He’s just mad Isak figured it out, and actually, that kind of pisses Isak off. He should’ve just fucking told Isak that he felt insecure about Eva—which, ok, he kind of did, but Isak assured him he’d still bring him to the end! Now, Isak’s not sure he can honour that promise, or if he wants to, but—

But, they’re not talking. Their lips are otherwise occupied.

It’s the heat. It’s the adrenaline, the exhaustion, even the loneliness. It’s the way Even looks at Isak, like he cares enough to be angry.

Isak has to, he just has to, kiss him. It surprises Even, but he does not resist when Isak pushes him against a tree, tangles his fingers in his hair, presses their lips together.

If anything, Even retaliates. He trails his hands down Isak’s body, teases Isak with his tongue, nibbles on his neck. It feels so fucking good because Isak knows that, even if Even’s feelings aren’t entirely positive, even if they’ll only exist on this island, it is undeniable that Even cares about him.

“I’m still voting you out,” Even whispers, then places a kiss behind Isak’s ear. “Next. I swear it.”

“Every time you’ve sworn to vote me out, you’ve targeted one of my allies instead. I think you like me.”

“Or it just means it’s your turn now.”

“I’ve already outsmarted you. I can do it again.”

“You’re getting cocky.”

“No, not really. You’re too easy to beat for me to get cocky now.”

“Oh, Isak. I just haven’t shown you all my tricks yet.”

Isak raises his eyebrows. “Then show me now.”

Even shakes his head and steps aside. “No. That was—do you feel like you got all your hard feelings out?"

Reluctantly, Isak nods.  

“Me too.” Even sits against the tree, and Isak joins him. They don’t hold hands this time. “Let’s not complicate this any further.”

Truly, what do they have to lose at this point? It’s already pretty fucking complicated.

Isak does not doubt their relationship is sincere, but he also recognizes it as part of the game, a product of loneliness and too many late nights spent together. It’s real as far as they can truly be themselves in this game, and it’s irrelevant once the game is over.

Of course Even can betray Isak, and of course Isak can betray Even, because it’s not and will never be like his relationship with Jonas. They are not falling in love here, as much as the moonlight tricks Isak into believing otherwise. They’re just playing, so they can kiss, tease, and fight all at once. What does it matter how complex the feelings are when none of them are real?

But.

It’s fun to feel this complexity again. Isak was just sad for so long.

He wants to keep Even around. He wants Even to keep him around. They feel like they’re meant to be around each other, fuck whatever’s happening in the game.

Isak could say that, he could just be fucking honest, but he knows his mind has made their relationship into something more than it actually is. That’s just what he does.

Isak talks about the game instead. It’s what connects them.

“How did you get Elias back on your side?” Isak asks. “He hated you.”

“As you know, I can be quite charming.”

“I don’t think Elias gives two shits about that when Sana’s involved.” Even shrugs. “You’re avoiding the question.”

“Do you expect me to share my entire strategy with you now?”

“Please, your entire strategy is to fuck with the status quo. Nice, easy vote to get rid of someone we know is against us? Why don’t I lie to the only person on my side and vote out Eva instead? And assume they’re not smart enough to catch on? Brilliant!”

So, there are still some hard feelings.

“Eva was always going to turn on me.”

“Maybe, but you really sped up that process.”

“You sound bitter.”

“Of course I’m fucking bitter! We had a good thing going. You fucked everything up.”

“No, Isak. You did that when you prioritized what’s best for you over what’s good for me.”

“I have to look out for myself, Jesus Christ. It’s Survivor.”

“I agree. That’s why you’re going home next.”

Even does not look like he wants to kiss Isak anymore.

“You can’t do it,” Isak says. “You have Elias. I have Eva and Ingrid. We’ll win the next vote, guaranteed.”

“You have Eva, and Eva has Ingrid. I wouldn’t assume you’re part of that. Actually, you might have given Eva a new partner.”

Isak hesitates, knowing that when he and Even left camp to _talk_ , Eva and Ingrid were whispering and giggling in the shelter. Eva seemed kind of relieved when he left.

He can’t dwell on that. “I don’t need to be invited to their fucking slumber party. I just need numbers.”

“They’ve both flipped. You think they won’t do it to you?”

“You’re trying to make me paranoid.” Even nods as though he wasn’t trying to keep that a secret. “I know you’re desperate. I’m not listening to you anymore.”

“I didn’t invite you to sit down with me, Isak.”

 _Why are you here_?

“Oh.” Isak’s embarrassed by how small his voice sounds, and by how red his cheeks turn, and by the way Even’s face falls. He sees everything Isak’s trying not to feel.

“Hey.” Even places his hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean it like that. Every time you sit down with me, I’m fucking thrilled. All I want to do out here is talk to you, and play with you, and kiss you…” He smiles like his lips are remembering how a kiss feels. “And when we leave this island? I hope that’s all we do.”

It won’t be the same. He doesn’t realize it won’t be the same.

“But as far as the game goes,” Even says. “I have to get rid of you now. Are you telling me that if I got Jonas out, you wouldn’t come after me?”

Isak shakes his head. He’s said he would on too many occasions to lie now.

“It’s not only that,” Even continues. “None of your allies will work with me. In fact, Eva is actively working against me. What other play do I have here?”

“Work the same magic you worked on Elias on her.”

“Eva is not as susceptible to bullshit as Elias is. That’s why she turned on me to begin with.” Isak wonders exactly what bullshit Even fed Elias. “Anyway, my point is here is that if we’re still going to hang out together? Yeah, I’m going to try to fuck with you. That’s the game. You hereby have my permission to fuck with me, too. Let’s make this a fair fight.”

Even extends his arm for a handshake. When Isak accepts it, Even pulls him in for a kiss.

“So, we’ll still hold each other tonight?” Isak asks. He can’t pretend he hasn’t been worried about that.

“Of course. I want you well-rested, at your very best. It’ll make it even sweeter to destroy you.”

“You do realize you sound like a supervillain right now?”

“Or hero. Depends on which story you’re telling.”

Hero or villain, Isak’s convinced Even has superpowers.

No one else has made him feel anything like this.

\---

Apparently, one of Even’s superpowers is pretending to be a chicken.

The immunity challenge is Survivor Charades. Each round, one tribe member memorizes a series of blocks with animals on them. They act them out for another tribe member, who has to guess the animals and place the corresponding blocks in order. The first tribe to five points wins.

It’s one challenge more suited to Sachchaai’s strengths. Even, Eva, and Elias are all committed actors, while Ingrid and Isak have proved their worth through guessing correctly. On Taagat, Eskild and Chris are embracing the challenge, but Jonas, Noora, Linn, and Vilde aren’t quite comfortable enough to really _become_ the animals they’re portraying.

After last night, Isak’s grateful for a reminder not take this game so fucking seriously.

They’re at 4-3 for Sachchaai when it’s Isak’s turn to guess while Eva acts. As she memorizes the series of blocks, Isak notices an envelope underneath his table.

An advantage.

Eva’s running back before he has a chance to grab it. He guesses quickly: monkey, crab, shark, jellyfish. He tries to reach for the envelope as Mutta announces their win, but Eva’s pulling him into a hug and away from the table.

In the chaos of the celebration, Isak steps away to lean on the table--as though Survivor Charades has _exhausted_ him. He feels under the table until he grabs the envelope, looks around to make sure no one’s watching, then slips it in his shorts.

With a night off tribal and an advantage in his pocket, Isak’s less worried about Even’s superpowers.

He’s ready to fight.

\---

Isak decides to wait to open the advantage with Eva.

No matter what it is, he will share it with it her. He knows Even’s fucking with him, but he also doesn’t want what he said to become true: she can’t get closer to Ingrid than she is to him. That did not go well when it happened with Jonas.

She’s hanging out alone, drawing hearts in the sand. It’s unusual for her. Even if she can’t work with Even or Elias, she still talks and laughs with both of them more than they talk and laugh with each other.

As Isak approaches her, he realizes he can hear her. And he knows what kind of noises you make when you’re alone.

She’s crying.

Isak hesitates. It’s breaking his heart, but maybe she wants space. Maybe she wants company, but it’s unlikely she wants him. Maybe he doesn’t have space to carry whatever she’s carrying. Maybe he could get Ingrid, or—

Eva turns her head, offering Isak a small smile.

Or, maybe instead of just being sympathetic, he could try being empathetic like Even instead. He joins her.

“Are you ok?” Isak asks. Which is idiotic when she’s clearly not.

“Oh, yeah. This is stupid,” Eva says, shaking her head. “I miss Noora. It’s ridiculous, we were just on the same tribe, I _just_ saw her, but—”

“It’s not ridiculous if it’s how you feel.”

Eva smiles at that. “I’m worried she’ll go home tonight. Which, whatever. We’re just playing a stupid game, right? But now that I’ve played it with her, I don’t want to play it without her. She keeps me grounded. She makes me laugh. And I am so _horny_ —”

Isak laughs louder than he expected to. Eva slaps his shoulder. “Shut up,” she says. “You can’t judge when you get to make-out with Even.”

“That’s a bit complicated now.”

“Don’t act like I don’t know why you snuck off after tribal. There’s no way you only talked.” Isak shrugs, and Eva hits him again. It’s becoming a pattern in their friendship. “I knew it! Oh, you fuck. Falling in love on Survivor, how unexpectedly romantic.”

“We’re not falling in love, though. We’re just playing.”

“You think?”

Isak shifts in the sand. This, he realizes, is an invitation to talk, to open up, share the feelings he was told not to have anymore. But God, they’re embarrassing, he feels like he’s feeling _wrong_ , and this was supposed to be about Eva anyway. So, he just nods and says, “Tell me about Noora.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If it’ll help you feel better. I’d kind of like to hear a love story.”

Eva looks proud to be part of a love story. Isak imagines he’d feel the same way. “Well, ok. Friends first, repressed sexualities, drunken confessions of love.”

“Tale as old as time.”

“It’s weird though, how long we resisted loving each other? We were both pretty alone. My family was away all the time, my friends turned on me, and my relationships were just hookups. I won’t tell you her story, but you should ask her about it if you can. You wouldn’t guess how sad it is by how good she is.”

Isak feels a similar way about Even’s story.  

“I didn’t think anyone would want to stay with me for longer than a week,” Eva says. “I’m fun, you know? I’m not a girlfriend. And Noora, I don’t think she believed anyone would love each her at all. But the whole time, we were beside each other, ready to love each other. I’m just sad we didn’t see it sooner.”

Isak knows Jonas won’t see that in him. He realized that a long time ago.

Someone else might.

“Were you scared?” Isak asks.

Eva laughs. “Fucking terrified, are you kidding? It didn’t feel real for months. It felt like we were acting, like this couldn’t actually be my life. But, it was.”

When Isak doesn’t say anything, Eva adds, “At least give your thing with Even a chance to become something.”

“Kind of hard when we’re voting each other out next.”

Eva rolls her eyes. “Please. No one’s going to vote out the person they cuddle with every night.”

Isak’s not so sure about that, so he pulls the advantage out his shorts. “Fucking hell,” Eva says, and Isak smiles as he hands it to her.

“Do the honours?”

Eva opens the envelope and reveals a map, presumably to hidden immunity idol. “Ok, we agree we’re not telling Ingrid about this?” she says.

Isak nods, relieved. “She’s got her own.”

“Then let’s take control of this game.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Survivor Charades is a real thing. Bless you, Australian Survivor.  
> 2\. The line about not voting out the person you cuddle with every night is almost directly lifted from Boston Rob on American Survivor. Thanks to Mikki and Aurora for reminding me of it because it is certainly fitting.  
> 3\. Thank you for all the votes for angry makeouts. I was happy to oblige. :)


	20. Bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to be brave with varying levels of success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this feels like a bit of a mess. I always struggle when they don't go to tribal, but we're definitely setting the stage for what's to come. I hope you like it! 
> 
> The immunity challenge: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=706Q2Q4Hof4&t=289s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=706Q2Q4Hof4&t=289s)
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak’s mom used to draw him treasure maps.

It started when some kids at school were playing buried treasure, scouring the playground for toys they hid themselves. They were adventurers, and Isak desperately wanted to be one of them, but they said he cried too much to be brave.

Of course, he cried when he recounted the story to his mom. She just shook her head and said, “You are the bravest boy I know.”

An hour later, she brought him a map with a big red X on it. “I’ve never told anyone this, but there’s buried treasure in our backyard,” she said. “Now, I’m too scared to look for it. I need a brave adventurer—”

“I’ll find the treasure for you!”

He spent what felt like hours but was barely half of one searching through the tall grass that needed mowing, the dirt in their overgrown garden, and the pile of leaves that hadn’t been raked. And he fought bad guys—pirates, dragons, monsters with claws—because he needed to be brave for his mom.

He eventually found one of her necklaces in the dirt. He ran inside, beaming as he showed his mom what he found. “Look! I got it for you!”

“Oh, Isak! Thank you so much!” She lifted him onto her lap and kissed his cheek. “My brave boy.”

“I had to fight monsters to get it!”

She gasped. “Were they big and scary?”

“Yeah! They had these really sharp claws—”

“Marianne, don’t put ideas in his head.”

Isak stopped his story, confused. He hadn’t even registered his dad was in the room. And with that, his mom left him to have what they called a grown-up conversation. He overhead: _he’s already so sensitive_ and _we don’t want to give him nightmares_ and _I just want him to be a normal kid._

Isak, however, knew he was not a normal kid. He was a brave adventurer.

And for the first time since his dad told him to stop making up stories, Isak feels like one again. There are no monsters, but there are enemies, and Isak needs to keep the treasure out of their hands. More importantly, he needs to find it so he can share it with the person he cares about.

Really, Isak’s been looking for the idol for what’s felt like days but has only been an hour, and he’s bored as hell. He needed to make the task more exciting, at least in his mind, for his own sanity. It occurs to him that his dad never understood that his imagination could actually be good for him.

There’s too much time to think out here, especially when you’re alone. Isak decides to devote his energy to the game instead of epiphanies about his past. The former is considerably more useful to him, it’s not like he can change the past—

Ok. The game.

Isak knows that if the idol were here, he would have found it by now. Unlike some idol clues that are written as riddles, the map wasn’t meant to be cryptic. If anything, it was _too_ clear, and maybe that’s a clue in itself—

Yeah. Way too much time to think.

Following the map, he’s confident he’s in the right spot, and he’s searched every inch of sand. He studies the clue again, and if he’s oriented himself correctly, the X is exactly where a tree is.

And, oh. Ok.

He assumed the idol would be buried underneath the three, but maybe it’s in the tree itself.

Isak touches every part of the tree he can reach from the ground, but he knows the producers wouldn’t make it that easy. Without any further thought, he circles his arms and legs around the tree, and climbs.

Going up isn’t easy, necessarily, but he has to do it, so he just fucking does it. Today, he chooses to see himself as a brave adventurer instead of just a survivor. It makes him more daring, willing to contort his body in order to study every part of the tree. No point in half-assing this now that he’s doing it.

He’s not afraid of heights, and he has the athleticism to hold his weight and twist into the positions he needs to. It’s a fine plan—until he hears footsteps when he’s close to the top, and realizes he’s in plain sight.

It’s not like he can jump. Even if he climbs down quickly, he’ll make enough noise that he’ll draw attention. In fact, Isak realizes, climbing the tree is probably what drew attention in the first place. Maybe he can claim he was just so fucking bored that he decided to climb a tree?

Worst case scenario is that it’s Ingrid. She already has enough reasons not to trust him, but Eva’s supposed to be watching her under the ruse of strengthening their friendship, and Isak trusts her not to slack on the job. But, he also doesn’t want Elias or Even to think he has the idol or that he’s paranoid enough about the next vote to need it.

“Hey, Isak? Can you help me out?”

It’s Even, of course. Isak doesn’t know why he’d ever expect anyone else.

“I’ve always wondered,” Even continues. “How does my hair look from an aerial view?”

“Greasy as fuck.”

“Hm. My sand treatment isn’t working.”

“Guess not.”

“What are you doing up there?”

His smirk is so prominent Isak’s sure he could spot it from the clouds.

“Reviewing everyone’s hair.”

“You must be quite bored. Very confident in the next vote.”

“I already know what I’m going to say when I vote you out. ‘Even, you’re better at kissing than you are at Survivor.’”

“As are you, baby.”

Isak flips him off, but slips a little when he removes his hand from the bark to do so. He catches himself quickly, but does not miss Even’s gasp, or the fact he moves directly underneath Isak and holds his hands up as though he’s spotting him.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Isak asks.

“Maybe you should climb down.”

“Am I making you nervous?” He pretends to lose his footing, smiling a little when Even flinches.

“Just. Come on, Isak.”

With his smirk gone and those fucking blue eyes even wider than usual, Even looks nervous. It’s not a look Isak’s used to seeing on him, and he’s surprised he could inspire it.

“I’m not done up here.”

“Looking for the idol?”

“No. With my reviews.”

“Then maybe I should tell Ingrid to walk by?”

Isak falters. There’s nothing to stop Even from telling Ingrid what he saw. Thankfully, Even’s the one person she trusts even less than Isak, but Isak would rather not take that chance. “Sure. She knows what I’m doing.”

“She’s not wondering why you’re looking for an idol when she already has one? And when you have the numbers?”

“It’s more about making sure you don’t get it.”

“Ah, you’re wasting your time there. I already have it.”

Isak rolls his eyes and hopes Even can see it from the ground. “Cool. Let me see it then.”

“Where’s the drama in the reveal if I do that?”

“There’s no way you have it.”

Even shrugs. “Maybe not, but either way, we’ve reached a standstill. You’re not going to look for the idol while I’m standing here, and I’m not going to leave because I’m worried you’ll fall, break all your bones, and need to medically evacuated. That’s not a satisfying victory for me, is it?”

“So heartfelt. I’m swooning.”

“And I’m ready to catch you in my arms like a true prince.”

Isak’s sure Even’s more interesting than any prince, but he won’t dare tell him that. And, he’s right: they’re at a standstill, and Isak doesn’t want to risk Ingrid or Elias walking by. “Fine. I’ll come down.”

As Isak climbs down, Even says, “Here. Let me help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re dehydrated. Your balance is off.”

“If I can do a challenge, I can climb down a fucking tree.”

“Ok, whatever. Let me help you anyway.” Isak sighs, but relents. Once he’s low enough to reach, he lets Even lower him to the ground. “I don’t know why you feel like you have to do everything by yourself.”

“I don’t—”

“You do it sometimes in challenges. You’re going to get hurt.”

Isak shrugs. “I’ve always done things alone, so. I’m fine with it.”

“I’m just saying you don’t have to.”

That’s how Isak’s always known bravery, though. Sure, he was a brave adventurer for someone else, but he always fought alone. No one’s ever thought he was brave enough to partner with. Even Jonas never really asked for his help, preferring to help him instead.

Even believes him to be brave: he’s said it.

Maybe inviting someone else into battle is real bravery. The kind Isak doesn’t have quite yet.

“This is where you threaten me,” Even says. “You could say something like ‘well, I won’t be asking for _your_ help, because you’ll be gone after the next tribal.’ To be incredibly clear, though, I’ll help you after the game too. I’ll always help you if you’ll ever ask me to.”

Ah, but that won’t work. Isak may be brave in the game, but that doesn’t carry over to his real life. “Ok. Can you help me figure out how to vote you out?

He’s surprised when Even doesn’t smile at the teasing. “You have the numbers and the idol. Just write my name down. What could go wrong?”

And Isak knows not to get complacent.

\---

“It wasn’t there?”

Eva and Isak are whispering in the shelter, though no one’s truly in earshot. Elias and Even are filling water bottles, and Ingrid asked for some alone time. Per Eva’s insistence, Isak’s respecting Ingrid’s wants, but he does worry about Even taking advantage of it and pulling her aside. “Ingrid will know we don’t trust her if I never leave her alone,” Eva says. “We need to play it cool here.”

It’s one aspect of the game where Isak thinks he could take advice from Jonas. That might even be what attracted Ingrid to him in the first place.

Isak shakes his head. “It might’ve been higher in the tree. Even caught me before I could fully search it. He said he has it.”

He expects Eva to roll her eyes, but she says, “Hm. Maybe.”

“Oh, come on. He wants us to think he’ll use it on himself so we’ll place the votes on Elias.”

“You followed the map and didn’t find the idol. Maybe he found it first.”

“Without the clue?”

“He knows he’s in a desperate situation. Do you think he wasn’t looking? Or, he could have a different one. They must’ve hid one here after you played the first one, right? I don’t have it, you don’t have it, Noora doesn’t have it, Mahdi didn’t have it, and I sincerely doubt Eskild or Chris has it. That leaves Even and Elias.”

“So you think there’s another idol in play other than this one?”

“Or you have a clue for one that was never found. Its either been found, or—it’s a decoy! Fuck, did you ever think there might be two advantages at the challenge? A real and fake one?”

Isak stares at her. “You’re paranoid.”

“When Even says you’re going home next, he means I’m going home next. Of course I’m paranoid. I don’t know how many idols are in play. I know we want them in our pocket, and I know that we need contingency plans in case they’re not.” Eva sighs. “I miss Noora. She’s good at planning at this stuff.”

“Yeah, but that’s nothing if you can’t read people and trust your gut. You’ve got that down. We’ll figure out the plans from there.”

Eva smiles like she’s surprised by the compliment. “Ok then, do you know what I saw while you were off searching? Even and Elias are spending a lot of time together, but they’re barely talking. I don’t think all’s forgiven there.”

“Even straight up told me he fed Elias some bullshit. He thinks he bought it, but—”

“Maybe he didn’t.”

Isak shrugs. “Elias isn’t going to flip, though. He needs Even right now."

“That doesn’t mean we can’t get information out of him. Just…feel him out. See if you can figure out if they have any idols.”

“Sorry, you’re asking _me_ to do this? Isn't this more your thing?"

“I need to be totally focused on Ingrid right now. She’d wonder why I’m talking to Elias, but she already thinks you’re a snake. It’s not like you have a good reputation to keep.” Eva elbows him. “Besides, we’re partners in this. Pull your fucking weight.”

Isak laughs, though he’s stuck by how brave Eva is. She’s never seemed nervous to invite anyone into battle with her, including Noora.

It also occurs to Isak that Eva is really fucking good at this game, but he decides that’s a problem for another time. Once he gets Even out.

“Ok, I’ll talk to him.”

\---

Elias is as thrown that Isak’s talking to him as Isak was that Eva asked him to do it.

Eva set it up, asking Ingrid and Even to help her weave palm leaves to reinforce their roof. In the meantime, Isak suggested that he and Elias make themselves useful by searching for food, and they walked for a solid five minutes in silence before Isak broke the ice with a, “So.”

“Hot today.”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s hot every day.”

“Mm, yeah.”

As rousing as the conversation is, Isak knows he has limited time to get to his point. “It kind of sucks that we’ve never really talked,” Isak says.

Elias stops. “You’ve hated me since I introduced myself.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know you and Mahdi talked shit about me the first night. It’s fine. I’ve talked a lot of shit about you too. I’m just saying we don’t have to pretend here. Say what you want to say.”

Isak considers it a blessing. He can’t charm like Eva or Even, but he can strategize. “Ok. I’m sure Even told you I was the mastermind behind the Sana vote. Right?”

Elias nods. “He didn’t use the word ‘mastermind,’ but yeah. He told me he was a big part of it, too.”

Isak expected as much. Good liars always play close to the truth.

“But you and I? We’ve never been friends, Actually, I targeted Sana because she suggested working together, but I knew there was no way in hell that would happen if I couldn’t reconcile with you,” Isak says. “You and Even, however? Best buds. So loyal you were even loyal to each other’s partners. And I think it’s shitty he used Yousef leaving as an excuse to turn on you. You didn’t have the means to protect Yousef. Even could have saved Sana, but he saved me instead.”

“Do you think you’re telling me new information?”

No, but he’s hoping Elias might reveal some. “I don’t know what he’s trying with you now. Begging for forgiveness, promising loyalty, admitting it’s an alliance of desperation: it doesn’t matter. Whatever his word is, it’s bullshit.”

“Ok. Your point?”

Elias’s lack of reaction suggests what Isak was hoping for: yes, he’s working with Even for now, but it’s not exactly a ride-or-die alliance.

Elias has options post-merge. He hasn’t pissed that many people off, nor does he have much of a reputation. Even won’t have the same opportunities. He needs Elias, but Elias doesn’t need him.

Even might play an idol for Elias, but Elias won’t play one for him.

And Even would expect Isak to vote for Elias, that he wouldn’t actually be able to write Even’s name down. Well, fuck that. He’ll write it down, underline it, draw some hearts around it.

“I don’t know. I’m just frustrated with him, I guess.” Isak smiles like the two of them are on a secret. “I wanted to vent. Thought you might understand.”

“How it feels when someone you think has your back stabs you in it?”

“Something like that.”

“It hurts, but.” Elias shrugs. “At least it gives you another knife to use.”

Isak’s glad they had this talk.

\---

For the immunity challenge, each tribe is tethered to a giant snake. Survivor could, perhaps, afford to be more subtle in its symbolism.

Chris was voted off Taagat, and while Eva seemed a little disappointed, she mostly seemed relieved that it wasn’t Noora. Isak forgot to be nervous for Jonas until they left for the challenge, but he was happy to see him there.

With each tribe down to five members, no one’s sitting the challenge out, and it’s truly a team challenge. Each tribe starts on the opposite side of a course, chasing each other while carrying the weight of the snake. The first tribe to tag the other tribe wins immunity. If someone feels they’re slowing their tribe down, they can unhook themselves and sit the rest of the challenge out.

And Isak’s tired.

Climbing the tree, digging in the sun, barely eating: the exhaustion’s heavier than what he has to carry. He feels himself slowing down, but he bristles when Even suggests, “Isak, just unhook yourself.”

He won’t argue with Even now, but he’s the strongest fucking person on their tribe.

Linn and Noora are the first to unhook from Taagat, with Ingrid following shortly after on Sachchaai.

“Taagat’s starting to gain on Sachchaai!” Mutta announces—which, ok. Isak will just run faster.

“They’re faster than us,” Even says.

“No shit,” Isak says.

“Just unhook if you need to. You’re not letting the team down. You’re helping us.”

Taagat should not win this challenge. Sachchaai more athletic, they _have_ it, they just need to go faster—

Isak feels Jonas’s hand on his back, and he knows they lost.

As Taagat celebrates, Even’s the first to hug Isak. “You did it again,” he whispers.

“What?”

“You’ve got to let someone help you.”

He knows it’s about more than the game, so he gives an answer that’s about more than the game. “I have Jonas.”

“He’s not the only person you have, Isak.”

Isak steps out of Even’s arms. He’s not—he’s not fucking doing this. He’s sending Even home tonight because if this continues, he might start to believe in what Even says. He might say _fuck it, ok, here’s your sword, here’s your shield, please fight this battle with me._

And he’s not yet brave enough to show someone else the monsters he faces.  


	21. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to ensure his safety outside of the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, happy 2018! I hope you had a lovely holiday season. I like the holidays, but am lowkey glad it's over and to be back on my regular schedule. My updates should become more regular as well. Hopefully you're still with me, and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter!

Isak’s never really felt safe.

Maybe, _maybe,_ when he was really young and his mom read him bedtime stories. He loved playing in other universes, ones where children were heroes despite being sad, scared, or other emotions he didn’t know to name. His imagination was the only place where he felt secure enough to fall asleep.

But even in his earliest memories, Isak recalls being afraid of his mom’s fear, the way she’d scream at people Isak couldn’t see. Then, Isak would get scared of the way he felt, how he’d sometimes cry and not know why. And that made his dad angry, the way he and his mom felt things that didn’t make sense, that he couldn’t solve their problems because they couldn’t articulate what they were. So, he’d leave—on a walk, to the store, and finally for good.

There was no place he was safe from his mom’s fear, his dad’s anger, and especially not the emotions they inspired in himself, the ones that become the authority in his life once his parents left him alone.

Jonas helped, but that’s what Jonas does. He’s the hero, but he’s not only that to Isak. And if Isak had recognized that early enough, understood the nature and limits of their friendship, maybe Jonas would be safe place for him. Instead, he had to fucking go and fall in love with him, permitting that relationship to hurt him with the loneliness and insecurity it was meant to protect him from.

It’s an advantage in Survivor. Early in their binge-watch, Isak and Jonas noticed that if someone admitted they felt safe in a confessional, they usually went home that episode. It’s fucked up the rest of Isak’s life, but that’s not what matters right now

So, Isak decides he’s not that worried when Eva looks for the idol after the challenge and also comes up short. All the idol ever did was make him paranoid, anyway. They don’t need safety as long as their strategy is sound.

And it really doesn’t have to be a complicated tribal, as he explains to the girls. “Elias might have the idol,” Isak says. “But he’s not going to use it on Even.”

“You’re positive?” Ingrid asks.

“He’s only working with Even now because he’s a shield for him. He doesn’t give a fuck if he goes home.”

“And you’re sure Even doesn’t have the idol?” Eva asks.

“No way in hell. He’s desperate, so why the fuck not tell us he has an idol? Convince us to put the votes on Elias instead? If he actually had the idol, he wouldn’t tell us. He’d want us to vote for him.”

“Ok, I don’t need you to explain basic Survivor strategy to me,” Eva says. “But that’s what I’m worried about. Even’s a better player than that move."

“Not really?” Ingrid says. “He’s more of a liar than a strategist. He fucks with everything—like if he confuses people enough, they’ll abandon their plans in favour for his. I think Isak’s right.”

Both Isak and Eva stare at her. “I don’t _like_ agreeing with him," Ingrid says, rolling her eyes. “We’re all voting Even tonight?”

“Yes,” Isak says. “It’s the best play.”

“I’m going to be nervous whatever we decide,” Eva says. “So, ok. Even.”

“Oh, what’s Isak saying about me now?” Even approaches them and well, speak of the devil. The kind, compassionate, vulnerable devil, which as far as Isak’s concerned, makes him all the more dangerous. “I’ll be too strong in individual immunity challenges? I’ll dazzle the jury at final tribal? He doesn’t know if he can make it another day without kissing me?”

Isak’s not concerned by how often they’ve kissed, but he doesn’t know if he can make it another day without falling a little bit in love with him. He’s not keen to find out.

For Ingrid’s sake, Eva plays stupid. “You can surely do better than Isak." 

Even shakes his head, studies Isak with a small smile. Isak wants to kiss the corners of it, then stick his tongue down Even’s throat. He’s a fucking disaster out here.

“Hm, maybe. I’d like to try with him, anyway.”

Isak reminds himself Even’s putting on a show. “Do you need something, or…?”

“Can I borrow you for a few minutes? You know, to tell stories, swap strategies, decide which of these girls we’re voting out?”

Ingrid rolls her eyes, but Eva tenses. “Please, go,” Ingrid says. “Then Eva and I can finally hang out alone.”

“I’ll try not to take that personally,” Isak says.

“No. You should.”

“Lovely alliance you have,” Even says as they walk away. “Very supportive.”

“Well, I tried working with someone else,” Isak says. “But he lied to me, voted against our alliance—”

“What an asshole. It would only be worse if he took out your partner as well.”

Isak stops, unsure if that’s a reference to Yousef, a threat against Jonas, confirmation that he’s voting Eva tonight, or all of the above. Once Even notices Isak’s confusion, he laughs. “What does it matter what I say, Isak? You’re voting me out, aren’t you?”

“We’re voting for you or Elias.”

“No, you’re voting for me. It’s idiotic because I’ve told you I have the idol, but I appreciate that you’re allowing me the performance of playing it. Do you think it’s too much when people make a speech beforehand? Or spend five minutes searching through their bag, only to pull it out of their shorts? What about—”

“I think you’re too much.”

“Sick burn.”

“Thank you.”

Even leads them to the tree they first kissed at, smiling as he gently shoves Isak against it. And, oh. Ok then. “Whichever one of us goes home tonight,” Even whispers, arms on either side of Isak, leaning in so their foreheads touch. “I’d like a goodbye kiss.”

Isak raises his eyebrows. “Would you now?”

Even nods, brushing his nose against Isak’s. “Would you like to kiss me, Isak?”

And Isak knows this it, their goodbye. Once Even leaves the game, their relationship is over, because that’s the only universe it exists in. He could start to grieve it, or he could focus on channeling his feelings into a fucking good kiss.

He chooses the latter.

He lets Even start it, lets his lips set their rhythm and his fingers dance along to it. But Isak’s the one to add his tongue, to slip his hand underneath Even’s shirt, to invite Even to play by exposing his neck, pushing their waists together, whispering what he wants like they’re dares.

It gets to Even, it makes him nibble at Isak’s neck, grind into him, whisper praises and promises, but he’s also the one to stop it. “We should save some of this for off camera,” he says.

Isak doesn’t want to make Even uncomfortable, so he nods, and that’s that. They’re over. He decides to enjoy the time before it starts to hurt, so he joins Even when he sits underneath the tree.

“That was a hell of a goodbye,” Even says.

“I’m pretty good at them,” Isak says.

Even runs his fingers over Isak’s, but they’re restless: Even’s fingertips tapping against Isak’s knuckles. Isak locks their hands together just for some peace. “I really don’t want to leave,” Even says.

“No one does,” Isak says. “That’s the game we’re playing.”

Even shakes his head. “I mean, I don’t want the game to end. I love it out here.”

“With the bugs? Hunger? Paranoia?”

“With the ocean. Games to play.” He squeezes Isak’s hand. “Beautiful boys to kiss.”

“You make it sound romantic.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Do you know what you smell like?”

Even laughs. “Roses, I presume. I don’t know. I just like being out here. In my real life, I am…well, my mom describes it as ‘floundering.’ I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“You’re an artist.” Isak feels a compulsion to remind him, but also a little stupid for doing so.

“Can you call yourself an artist if you haven’t made anything in months?”

“I actually think a lot of people do that.”

Even laughs again, and while Isak’s never considered him to be careful with his happiness, he does seem to share most of it with him. He’s generous with it in a way Isak doubts he’ll ever be. “Ok, I’m an artist, but I don’t even know what the fuck I want to do with that. What do I have to say? Who gives a shit if I say anything?”

“I do.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to kiss me again.”

Isak shakes his head, and his denial is honest. He does not want to kiss Even again now that he’s said goodbye. “Anyway, my point is I don’t have a purpose,” Even says. “Clear goals, whatever. Here, though? I know what I need to do, I’m good at it, and it’s fun. I like playing games. They’re safer than real life.”

This is Even’s bedtime story. This is his imagination. This, as Isak suspected all along, is not real.

And it’s not that Isak ever believed it was but, well. It hurts to have it confirmed.

“Then there’s us,” Even continues. “I like us.”

“I do, too.” Did.

“I worry sometimes. About what will happen to us once the game’s over. I know it’s hard for you to take me seriously, but if one of us does go home tonight…I’d like to ask you on a date. Dinner when this is all over. That’s all.”

And now Isak hurts for Even because he’s been there, he was just there, mistaking imagination for reality. It’s not fair to continue tricking Even, and it’s certainly not fair to continue tricking himself.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to say yes to that.”

He catches Even’s surprise, and he wishes Even could have hid that as well as he hides his strategy. “Oh.”

“It’s not you.” He knows he says it too quickly. “It’s just not a good idea.”

“Because…?”

“Everything’s heightened out here, so I understand how this has happened, how we’ve reached this point—” God, Isak doesn’t want to hurt him. He’s not used to being in this position. “When we get home, you’ll realize I’m not who you want to be with.”

“You sound like me.”

“What?”

“You sound like me when I’m taking bullshit about myself. Yousef always calls me on it.”

“Ok, but that’s you. You’re incredible. I’m not.”

“Isak—”

“I’m sorry, Even. I don’t want you to be mad.”

Even shakes his head and frowns, uncomfortable, like the expression on his face doesn’t fit. “I’m not mad, Isak. I’m just—I’m surprised, and I think you’re wrong. About everything. Shouldn’t I get to decide if I want to be with you after this? Since I think you want to be with me?”

Isak shakes his head. “I can’t go through that rejection again.”

“Again.” Even pauses. “Jonas?”

Isak nods.

“I’m not Jonas,” Even says. “I’m not straight, so that helps, but even then—Jonas hasn’t rejected you, Isak. He’s your best friend.”

“He’s a good person.”

“Not that good, come on. But, that’s not even the point. Why do you believe he’s the only person who can love you?”

“A lifetime of evidence?”

“You’re still living. You have to consider the new evidence.”

Isak has. Even is fucking beautiful, empathetic, thoughtful, fun—a person he wouldn’t dare dream of, but exists anyway. He likes him, and in this world they’ve created, Even likes him back.

It would be one thing if they could play Survivor forever, but they can’t, so it’s not. It’s exactly what his dad warned him about.

Just another fantasy he almost lost himself to.

\---

It should be an exciting tribal.

With new alliances and potentially multiple idols in play, Mutta’s ready to discuss every scenario, pick at open wounds, make everyone even more suspicious of each other than they already were.

But Isak is tired, and Even is quiet, and they’re usually the most vocal participants.

“Did anything happen at camp today?” Mutta asks, frustrated. “Or do we all know exactly how this vote will go?”

“I’m confident in my alliance’s plan,” Ingrid says.

“As are we,” Elias says.

“Ok, but there are different numbers on these two sides,” Mutta says. “For you and Even to be confident, there must be an idol at play? A flipped vote?”

“Either or,” Elias says.

“Does that worry you?” Mutta asks Isak.

“No,” he says. “We’ve planned for their plan.”

“Then I guess it’s time to vote,” Mutta says.

An hour ago, Isak would’ve surrounded Even’s name with hearts. It feels cruel to do that now, so he writes Even’s name like he’s no different than anyone else he's voted off.

Once everyone’s voted and Mutta’s tallied them, he says, “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and wishes to play it, now would be the time to do so.”

“Yeah,” Even says. “I do.”

There’s no speech or show. Even just pulls the idol out of his bag, hands it to Mutta, and confirms he’s playing it for himself. It takes Isak a second to process what’s happened due to the total lack of fanfare, but it sinks in when he sees the glance Eva gives to Ingrid: quiet, but obviously anxious. It’s either Isak or Eva tonight. And maybe he should be more concerned about that, but Even’s apparent apathy is as contagious as his joy.

“Mutta?” Ingrid says, and his eyes light up for the first time all evening. “Instead of listening to how men want me to play my idol, I’m going to play it on my own terms.” She stands up and brings it to him. “This is for Eva.”

“Oh my God,” Eva says, pulling Ingrid into a hug as she sits back down. “ _Thank you._ ” Then, with a look towards Isak, “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.”

Isak shakes his head. “You did the work. You earned that.” She knew Ingrid had to care about her enough to use the idol on her, but that Ingrid would want to make the decision herself. Unlike Even and  himself, she understands the subtle social game, and Isak’s almost relieved to leave the game if she’s staying in it.

“I’ll read the votes,” Mutta says. "No votes cast against Even or Eva will count."

He begins with the three votes for Even. Isak wishes Even woild be an obnoxious asshole he knows he can be and celebrate his win, but he’s still quiet.

“Fourth vote…Ingrid.”

“What?”

Isak’s not sure who says it first, but he, Ingrid, and Eva all do. That, at least, gets a smile out of Even.

“The ninth person voted out of this game is…Ingrid. You need to bring me your torch.”

Isak’s not sure if Ingrid’s shock, Eva’s apologies, or his own confusion is the loudest, but it’s evident what Even hears when he says to Isak, “Any questions?”

“You could’ve gotten me out,” Isak says. “You knew Ingrid would never play the idol on me.”

“I know. Maybe I wanted to keep you around.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not intend for this chapter to be angsty, it just sort of...happened. Whoops. Chat with me in comments or on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com), where I offer Evak squishes to everyone I hurt.


	22. Merge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tribes merge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Chapter summaries are hard and I don't know why I started doing them).
> 
> I did something wild and planned the next few votes, and let me tease a little by saying I'm more excited than ever about this fic. This chapter's just easing you into the change. :)
> 
> I need to give a shoutout to the lovely Varshi who made [this beautiful cover art](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com/post/169324592677/blood-vs-water-we-can-get-more-body-heat-if-you) for this fic. Her tumblr is [@thatgirl-intheback](http://thatgirl-intheback.tumblr.com/) and she's made covers for multiple fics, so check them out!

Even shouldn’t want Isak around.

That’s what he’s stuck on, what he keeps coming back to as he tries to analyze the last vote. God, it doesn’t make any sense. Even had ammunition, an open target, and a shield for himself. Why the fuck didn’t he shoot?

Everyone’s quiet after tribal, skirting around each other like they’re waiting for someone to suggest they just go to sleep. Isak watches as Even uses twigs to draw in the sand, eventually catching his gaze.

Even raises his eyebrows: _Should we talk about it_?

Isak shrugs: _I don’t fucking know_.

Isak walks towards him because he doesn’t quite know how not to.

“ _Ingrid_?” he asks, and he doesn’t mean for it to sound like an insult, but he’s a little offended Even considered her a bigger threat than himself.

Now it’s Even’s turn to shrug. “It was my best move.”

“But you know you have an enemy in me.”

“Ingrid was against me too.”

“But I’m—who did she even have? Eva, maybe? But I’m closer to her than Ingrid was. When we merge, I’ll have Eva, Jonas, and Noora. You’d rather go up against that than _Ingrid_?

“It wasn’t just Ingrid. It was Ingrid and her idol.” Even’s still drawing in the sand, random swirls that Isak wishes he’d put into some kind of pattern. “I knew I was safe with my idol, and I knew you’d never believe I actually had it if I told you I did.”

Isak hates that he fell for that. “Ok?”

“But I didn’t want to waste it. I figured Ingrid would play hers, but if Elias and I voted for the person she played it on, none of the votes would count. In a revote, you’d still have the numbers, and Elias would go home.”

Isak does not point out that might not have been the worst outcome for his game. “You didn’t think she’d play it on me, though?”

“Not _really_ , but the only person I absolutely believed she wouldn’t play it on was herself. Not this vote. None of you believed she was at risk.” Even puts the twigs down and focuses on Isak. “Plus, I thought you might have an idol.”

“And I climbed a tree just to trick you?”

“No, I found that one.”

“Without a clue?”

“Yeah. I was desperate, so I started digging around strange trees. Master of my own fate and all that. But no matter what production’s done in the past, we really have no idea how many idols are out there. So, I thought maybe you had one, maybe for awhile, and kept a really good poker face.”

Isak laughs because he doesn’t totally lack self-awareness, and it gets a smile out of Even as well. “Come on. I’m a fucking disaster.”

“I don’t know. I thought I could read you for awhile, but—you can really lie.”

For all of the rivalry between them, Isak doesn’t think he’s actually _lied_ to Even that often. “What makes you say that?”

“The things you tell yourself.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Do you have to make every fucking moment a _moment_?”

Even smiles. “That’s the fun of life, isn’t it?”

It’s certainly the fun of being with Even, which brings his brain right back to the place only the game’s been able to distract from him. “With what you said at tribal, I thought you maybe voted for Ingrid because you hoped you could change my mind. About, you know.”

“No. You said no, so. I can’t change that.” At Isak’s silence, he continues, “Were you hoping I’d fight harder?”

“It’s just fucking awkward since we’re both still here. And I still want to talk to you, I still _like_ you—”

“I still like you too, Isak. That’s not really our problem.”

“Then what do we now?”

“Well, if we still like each other, and still want to talk to each other, I vote we keep doing that. We’ll be friends, even if it’ll break my heart to know we can only be that.”

Isak can’t believe he actually has the power to break someone’s heart, but he likes Even’s proposal. “We probably shouldn’t kiss anymore.”

“Hm, no. That's a shame."

“Agreed.” And Isak likes that they can still exchange smiles. “I don’t want you to get cold at night, though.”

Even’s smile turns into something else, fond, a little mischievous, so fucking beautiful that Isak hates himself for rejecting it. “Then let’s go to bed.”

They do, and because it’s a windy night, a bitter cold, Isak hugs Even as close to his chest as he can, like he’s preventing him from flying away.

It’s an apology, too. For hurting him.

“My ex said I was like the wind,” Even whispers in a rare moment when the wind isn’t louder than their voices.

“The same one who said you had a marshmallow heart?” Isak asks.

“Oh, that’s what she said when she liked me. Otherwise, I was sudden, loud, dangerous. And not only when I was manic, I just—I always get these ideas, you know? Like yeah, let’s go on Survivor, why the fuck not? The more I listened to her, the more I pictured myself uprooting things from the ground, taking them from safety to the unknown.”

“That’s a narrow view of wind, though.”

“Oh?" 

“It’s powerful. It’s so fucking powerful it produces electricity. And that doesn’t have to be dangerous, it can light up rooms and shit.”

It occurs to Isak that not sleeping or eating is not dissimilar from getting high.

“Do you think I light up rooms, Isak?”

“We’re not supposed to flirt anymore.”

“I didn’t agree to that, but ok. Then just be honest.”

“I’ve never technically been in a room with you, so—”

“Isak, please. Think of my ego.”

“Fine. I’ve never been in a room with you, but you light up this whole fucking island. You don’t make me think of wind. You remind me of the sun.”

A gust of wind makes Isak hold Even tighter, Even lean in closer. And well, maybe his ex was on the right track: Even absolutely holds that kind of power, and Isak’s absolutely gotten swept up in it.

And he wants to believe it to be dangerous, but truthfully, it just feels nice.

“Oh, Isak,” Even whispers once it passes. “You really won’t let me take you out to dinner?”

Isak’s grateful that the wind picks up again, drowning out any response he might have. He knows what it should be, which is different than from what he wants to be. And therefore, he doesn’t know what it will be. 

He listens to the wind and decides that, for now, he’s willing to risk being this close to it.

\---

In the morning, they’re greeted by a boat.

Isak knew the merge was coming, and soon, but as he boards the boat with his tribe, he’s struck by how significantly his game will change again. Eva will have Noora, and he hates that there’s a pit in his stomach at the idea of that. He’ll have to navigate Eskild’s dramatics and Linn’s independence, and he’s somewhat fascinated to see how they’ll work together. Vilde, Elias, and to a lesser extent, Even, are total wildcards.

And Isak will have to fit Jonas into his game, or figure out how he fits into Jonas’s. He’s used to settling for the latter, but he’s pretty fucking committed to the former.

They’re not permitted to talk on the boat, but Isak understands his tribe members now. Even can’t sit still, overtired after a night Isak knows was anything but restful. Elias is focused. Eva, who’s been quiet since Ingrid’s vote, seems energized again.

Isak can’t fucking wait.

When they arrive at Taagat, they’re greeted by their new tribe members, a feast of breakfast foods, and purple buffs. At first, no one can process anything but the food. As Isak washes his bacon and eggs down with apple juice and coffee—finally, _coffee_ —and everyone chats about how much they missed each other, he lets himself believe he’s one of those people who goes out for a luxurious brunch with his friends on the weekend. 

But when Eva, who has not stooped looking at Noora since they arrived, passes out the buffs, Isak refocuses. This is a brand fucking new game. He’s been wearing his buff around his wrist this entire game, but he wears this one around his forehead—the same way Even wears his. It’s stupid, and insignificant, to change the way he wears his buff as a representation of how the game’s changed, but Survivor has tricked him into caring about symbolism.

When everyone’s together, the conversation is general. Everyone’s grateful they ended up at the Taagat camp, which is in much better shape than Sachchaai. Both tribes claim their post-swap votes were totally uneventful, and Vilde seems to be the only one sad to learn that Ingrid’s gone; Jonas mostly seems relieved by the news. They decide on a tribe name, _Loloma levu_ , which is a Fijian idiom that means “lots of love.” It’s too long for a tribe name and fucking stupid given this is a game where they vote each other out, but it makes Vilde happy—and actually, Even and Eva as well.

To Isak, everything but the food is boring, frustrating, and not nearly as fun as playing, so he’s the first to stand up and invite Jonas to follow him.

“How are you doing?” Jonas asks, sincere, when they’re alone. Isak’s taken aback by the question, though he knows it’s exactly what he should expect from Jonas. Genuine care.

It’s sweet, of course, but Isak’s not about to dissect his entire relationship with Even now. They don’t have time for that. In a merge, people will try fucking anything just because they can. They have to be ahead of this vote, and really, they need a plan that’s a clear path to the end.

“Fine. Ok, most important things to know: I’m not with Even anymore. He betrayed me in the first vote after the swap. I’m closest to Eva, and I’m not ready to turn on her. Elias is still with Even, but I don’t know, he’s fucking shady. He’ll either turn on him, or they’re both playing us.”

Jonas blinks. “You’re not working with Even anymore?”

He’s three steps behind, and Isak’s in no mood to pull him ahead. “Are you and Noora still close?”

“Not _close_ , but yeah. We get along.”

“What about Eskild and Linn?”

“I like them, but they’re closer to Noora.”

“Is anyone close to Vilde?”

“I mean, everyone on Taagat liked each other.” Isak rolls his eyes. He suspects he’ll get more dirt out of Linn if she’ll trust him with it. Noticing Isak’s reaction, Jonas adds, “She’s the outsider, though.”

“Good. This is the way I see it. We have three pairs: you and me, Eva and Noora, and Eskild and Linn. That’s six votes against Even, Elias, and Vilde, so that’s easy. Our real alliance will be you, me, Eva, and Noora. Eskild and Linn will be votes as long as they’re useful. I’m sure Eva and Noora will be on board.”

“But are Eva and Noora too dangerous to go to final four with?”

Isak smiles, grateful Jonas has caught up. “Eva’s dangerous to sit in final two with, but she’s not winning individual immunities or a fire making challenge. You know more about Noora than I do, but—”

“She’s not that much of a threat.”

“Then I say we go with this plan. Adapt as needed.”

There’s footsteps behind them, and Isak turns around to find Eva and Noora, holding hands. He convinces himself he’s happy for them. “Sorry,” Eva says, gesturing to them. “I just get nervous when Isak runs into the woods with cute boys.”

Isak glares at her, but she’s smiling in a way that Isak suspects makes it impossible to feel anything but really fucking happy. “I’m cute?” Jonas asks, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re like, first-boyfriend cute,” Eva says, and Isak remembers they haven’t actually talked to each other yet. “Which is good, but a far cry from first-girlfriend cute.”

“I can see how I wouldn’t live up to that,” Jonas says, and Eva laughs.

Good. This is going to work.

“The four of us,” Isak says. “Until the end. What do you think?”

“There’s no people I’d rather play with,” Eva says. “But we can’t only be four. Not right now.”

“I think I have Eskild and Linn,” Noora says. “We can play the ‘partners alliance’ for a little bit?" 

“That’s what Isak said.” Jonas nudges Isak as though to congratulate him on his idea, and while it was a pretty fucking obvious one, he doesn’t hate the attention.

“Then you’re in agreement,” Eva says, and Isak nods. This could really be his alliance to control.

The individual game’s officially begun, but Isak’s ready to play with others.


	23. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak considers what's true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for the wait! This chapter feels a bit strange to me because it's not really what I expected to focus on, but here we are. A bit filler-ish game-wise, but I promise that'll ramp up next chapter. :) I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Here's a video of the immunity challenge if you're interested: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdVjgWDLbUY>
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

The first step is to get Linn. And it’s not Isak’s step to take.

Not only is Linn the decision maker of the pair, but Isak believes she’ll have the best information to inform their next play. She’s a quiet observer—like Mahdi, but not as careless, and perhaps a little smarter. Isak understands her value as an alliance member and her potential as a threat.

Which is why it fucking kills him that Noora’s tasked with recruiting her to their alliance. It makes sense: in order for this alliance to work, Eskild and Linn need to believe they’re in control of it with Eva and Noora, and that won’t happen if Isak’s the one to approach Linn. Plus, Noora is friends with Linn, and that counts for more than Isak would have expected in Survivor. He just hates relinquishing control of his game, especially at such a crucial time.

“Noora’s smart,” Eva said as reassurance. “Smarter than you think. Definitely smarter than you are.”

Isak rolled his eyes. “You’re too in love with her to see the truth.”

Eva furrowed her eyebrows, smiled in a way that reminded Isak of Jonas. Sympathetic—or full of pity, depending on what Isak chose to see that day. “That’s not what love does, though. Not the real kind. It’s so honest that it’s like it helps you understand the truth. You know?”

Isak said the dehydration had made her delirious.

And it’s not that he doesn’t believe Noora to be smart, or even that he believes himself to be smarter, but that he’s anxious about any plan that’s created without him.

What if he’s forgotten about? Or they decide they don’t need him anymore?

Noora’s report back doesn’t give him much confidence. “Linn’s on board,” she says. Isak’s in the ocean with her, Eva, and Jonas. “Which means Eskild will be too. She thinks we’re using Jonas and Isak as numbers, but that we’ll cut them before final six.”

“And you’re sure she believes that?” Eva asks.

“Well.” Noora pauses, and Isak expects his skin to turn to leather before she finishes her thought. “She kind of thinks both you guys are arrogant.”

“Seriously?” Jonas says. “I barely talked to her.”

“Just a guess, but that might have been the problem,” Eva says, and Jonas raises his eyebrows at her. “What? You don’t need to talk to her for your game? Fine. But you’re a fucking idiot if you think she doesn’t notice that, and that she doesn’t see it as an opportunity to blindside you.”

“And she said Isak always needed to be involved in the decision-making,” Noora says. “So I told her about how you even determined Yousef’s vote.”

“To make her think I’m even more arrogant?” Isak asks.

“Yes. If she thinks you’re arrogant, she thinks you’re stupid. If she thinks you’re stupid, she’s not going to worry about you for awhile.”

“It’s starting to feel like you’re just calling me stupid.”

Noora shakes her head. “No, but I do think you should play into it. You and I should have a conversation with Linn where you invite her and Eskild into the alliance, like this is your master plan. She’ll never believe this alliance if she thinks you’re comfortable taking the backseat.”

“See?” Eva says with a grin. “She’s smarter than you, right?”

“I’d say so,” Jonas says.

Isak splashes him, and it’s not long before Jonas’s arms are around him, and they’re wrestling, trying to pull each other underwater. And it’s not that Isak doesn’t Isak feel a rush at Jonas’s touch, because he does, of course he still does, but—

He’s watching Even watching them on the beach and wondering, just a little, what it would feel like to do this with him.

\---

Isak ultimately agrees to Noora’s plan because he’s trying to play nice with others, and it’s not like he can argue her logic. If he has to look stupid, whatever, who gives a fuck? As long as it keeps him and Jonas in the game. 

Eskild and Linn are, without question, the laziest people on their tribe, so they are doing absolutely nothing when Isak and Noora approach them. Isak thinks they’re lucky to have made it to the merge.

“Hey,” Isak says with a bravado he hopes come off as genuine. “Have you guys been thinking about where you’ll go now that we’ve merged?”

“No,” Linn says.

Eskild puts his chin in his hands, raises his eyebrows at them. “Do you have something to offer us?”

“We’re all the partners left in the game,” Isak says. Eskild nods as though this is new information to him. Linn just looks tired. “And together, we’re six strong. We’ve been talking to Jonas and Eva about it, and we think we can control this game together. But, we need you.”

“Us?” Eskild asks with a smirk. “You need _us_?”

“No one’s as bold as you in this game,” Isak says as though he’s forgotten Even’s existence. “And no one’s as smart as you, Linn.”

“We think this is the best move for all of us,” Noora says. “And you already know that I wanted to work with you after merge.”

“Ah yes, you can’t get enough of me,” Eskild says. “Isak, I assume you’ve missed me too.”

“I could hardly sleep,” Isak says.

“That would be more convincing if you weren’t wrapped up in the arms of a god every night,” Eskild says. “But I don’t like to argue with flattery.”

“If we go with this,” Linn says. “Who would you want the first target to be?”

And this is where Isak needs to be careful. While the whole point of this conversation is to play into the decision-maker role Linn’s ascribed to him, he doesn’t actually want to be controlling. This early in the alliance, she’d absolutely rebel against that. Besides, though he’d still like to see Even leave, it doesn’t really matter if Elias or Vilde goes first. As long as he protects the alliance.

“Let’s see how things play out at the immunity challenge,” Isak says. “But I’m keeping an open mind.”

Linn nods, seemingly satisfied with his answer. “Ok. We’ll talk again after the challenge.”

Isak takes that as their cue to leave, but once they’ve turned around, Eskild calls, “Noora! You don’t have to go. I am desperate for some entertainment out here. Chat to me all about your life. Let me advise you.”

“I’m not telling you anything!” Noora says, but she turns on her heels and steps towards them. “Your advice is terrible.”

“All I’m saying is I think you and Eva should try—”

“ _Eskild_!”

Noora sits beside him and Isak remembers something Eva said to him, that Noora didn’t believe someone could love her. He’s glad she’s been proved wrong, and that she’s been proved wrong more than once.

Without an invitation of his own, Isak heads back to join the others. He runs into Even, walking in the opposite direction--towards him. 

Even stands on his tiptoes and glances over Isak’s shoulder. “Post-merge plotting?” he asks, and Isak nods. “How’s it going? Should I be planning my own attack?”

“Pretty arrogant to assume I’m still going after you,” Isak says. “Especially when I have so many potential new targets.”

“None as attractive as me.”

Isak can’t argue that. “And what are you doing? Looking for another idol?”

“Oh, I’ve got three more in my bag.” Isak rolls his eyes, and Even grins. “You’re not even sure if I’m lying anymore.”

“I’m not worried about you,” Isak says. “Pull whatever tricks you’ve got. They can’t compete with actual strategy.”

“Hm, I suppose you have no reason to be worried. Now that you finally have your power alliance with Jonas, Eva, and Noora--what could fuck with that?”

Isak regrets ever telling Even that was his plan. “You’re not going to make me paranoid.”

“I’m being sincere.”

It’s at this point Isak realizes their conversation isn’t going anywhere. They’re not going to strategize, they’re not even really going to talk: they’re just going to tease. And if there weren’t a game to play, Isak would go on like this for hours, and then maybe a few hours more. He just really fucking likes being with Even.

He has to leave this. He doesn't know why he keeps going back to it.

“Do you want my advice?” Isak asks as he steps to walk past Even.

“Always, Isak."

“Win the immunity challenge.”

\---

“Today, you’re playing for individual immunity.”

There are a few moments where it’s sunk in that Isak’s playing Survivor, the game he’s fucking obsessed with. Getting his torch at tribal council, casting his first vote, the merge feast. And now, Mutta revealing a truly hideous necklace they’ll all compete for as though it’s gold. He doesn’t want to leave this game without wearing it at least once, and preferably more than that.

The challenge is to hang upside-down from a bar, which is set-up over a pool to soften the inevitable fall. At the beginning of the challenge, they can use both their arms and legs. After twenty minutes, they’ll only be allowed to hold on with their legs. The last person standing wins immunity.

Once Isak’s in position, he feels confident. He has the strength this kind of challenge requires, and fuck, if he doesn’t have endurance. “Everyone’s looking good so far,” Mutta says. “Soon, though, the pain will set in. The exhaustion. You’ll start to lose circulation.”

Isak wants to remind him the show has editors, and thus he doesn’t need to narrate every second of every challenge.

“Even’s beginning to struggle,” Mutta says. “He keeps changing positions, trying new things. Even, nothing’s going to be comfortable.”

Isak can’t see Even from his own position with his arms and legs wrapped around the bar, but he can assume what’s happening. “It’s those long limbs,” Isak says. “There’s just too much of you.”

“Hm,” Even says. “You seem to appreciate them when I hold you even tighter than this.”

“Wow,” Mutta says. “Isak and Even are using the challenge as a chance to flirt! I’d focus on staying safe, boys.”

But Even drops only moments later, soon followed by Eskild, then Linn, then Noora. Everyone else makes it to twenty minutes, at which point they have one minute to change positions so they’re only hanging on with their legs.

Eva can’t make the transition, leaving Isak, Jonas, Vilde, and Elias in the challenge. Within seconds, Isak feels how much more difficult the challenge has become. All the weight’s been transferred to one area of his body that’s not used to carrying it.

“Isak and Elias are having some difficulties,” Mutta says, and Isak feels it—he’s about to fall. “Jonas and Vilde seem solid.”

“Hey, Jonas,” Isak says. “If I drop, will you give me the immunity necklace anyway?”

“In exchange for?” Jonas asks.

“My friendship.”

“I’ll pass.”

“This is interesting,” Mutta says, and Isak already knows that whatever’s going to follow will not be. “Only one partnership left in this immunity challenge. And you’re fighting it out.”

“We’re competitors,” Isak says. “We have to fight it out.”

“No fun otherwise,” Jonas says.

Elias falls next, and with both him and Even out of the challenge, Isak’s really not concerned if Vilde wins. They’ll still have options. So, he lets go to stop himself from falling seconds later.

He wasn’t expecting the effect the challenge would have on his body, how stiff he is once he tries to stand up. It’s Even who comes over to him, puts on arm around Isak to brace him as he leads him back to the bench. And once they reach the bench, it’s Isak who leans against Even’s shoulder for support, just to help him feel stable.

“Are you ok?” Even asks.

“It just hurts.”

“I know.”

Just voicing that, just telling Even that he hurts as he leans against him—well, that’s enough to make Isak hurt less.

He’s seeing the pain in Jonas now, the strain in his face. Vilde’s calm, eyes closed, and it’s a good reminder of how strong she is. Isak glances at Linn, who glances towards Vilde, then back at Isak, who nods. If she doesn’t win, they have their target.

It’s a couple of minutes before Even whispers, “Vilde’s slipping,” then Mutta announces the same. She falls, then Mutta says what Isak once assumed he’d be thrilled to hear.

“Congratulations Jonas, you’ve won individual immunity!”

He’s happy, of course. He’ll be happy as long as anyone in his alliance wins immunity, and he is proud of Jonas the way he thinks most people are proud of their friends.

But he doesn’t focus on how strong he was, how determined. He doesn’t analyze their few words of banter for meaning Jonas would have never put behind them. He, really, doesn’t think of it much at all once they’ve left the challenge.

The truth is that, instead, he’s thinking again about what it would be like to wrestle Even in the water. How much he enjoys talking to him, even when they’re just fucking with each other. And that Even asked if he was ok, how nice it feels to be supported by him, how much less he hurts whenever he's with him. 

Truth is tricky in Survivor. That’s how Isak’s been able to dismiss it before.

But they’re not playing the game with each other anymore, and barely even against each other now—it’s just. It’s just enough to make Isak think maybe they’ve been doing more than just playing.

Maybe.


	24. Simplicity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak trusts a simple plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, time for some game. This is where I have the most fun. :) I hope you like it!
> 
> Chat with me on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

It should be simple.

Isak’s alliance agrees to vote for Vilde, and why wouldn’t they? She’s a physical threat. She doesn’t have a relationship with Even or Elias like they have with each other, strained as it might be. And, according to both Linn and Noora, she’s more strategic than she comes off.

“She was the bus boss in high school,” Noora says. “She knows how to organize and control a group. We need to vote her off before she gets the chance.”

Isak thinks she’s exaggerating, but lets it go. An alliance of six will never make the same plays for the same reasons, but as long as they agree on the plays, they’re doing pretty fucking good.

“Yeah, but maybe Even’s planning a revolution as we speak?” Jonas says. 

Isak glances over to where Even’s in the shelter, talking with Elias. When Even catches him, which he always fucking does, Isak realizes the six of them aren’t exactly being discreet as they stand in a circle like they’re about to play Zip Zap Zop.

Whatever. Even already knows he’s with Eva and Noora, and he’s smart enough to know they’d go for Eskild and Linn as well. Why pretend like they don’t all know what’s happening?

“Does it matter?” Isak asks. “They don’t have the numbers, period. There’s nothing they can do.”

“Unless they have an idol,” Eskild says.

“No chance in hell Even or Elias will play an idol on Vilde they could save for themselves,” Eva says.

“I don’t know,” Jonas says. “Vilde’s been talking with Elias a bit. And she might have the idol herself.”

“We just need them to believe it’s not her tonight,” Isak says. “I want to make think Even that I could be open to playing with him again. I’ll tell him the shit Elias has said about him, that we’re all voting for Elias because no one knows where the fuck he stands. And if he votes with us, I’ll take it as a sign of trust.”

“So if they have an idol,” Eskild says. “They’ll play it on Elias.”

“Exactly,” Isak says. “And if they don’t and Even does vote for Elias? That’s the end of whatever the fuck their alliance is." 

“Are you sure he won’t see through that?” Linn asks.

Isak shrugs. “No. But if he thinks I’m bullshitting him, he’ll think it’s because he’s the target. Either way, no one’s playing an idol on Vilde.”

And that’s the end of their discussion, every variable they can think of accounted for. When Isak does his confessional, he hears himself say phrases he never expected to on Survivor. _We have the numbers. It’ll be simple tonight. I’ll never say that I feel safe, but I feel pretty good_.

It’s his own words that make him worry.

\---

So, Isak’s worried. But that’s a constant state in Survivor, so that’s fine. He’s fine. He’ll do what he can to control the vote, then he has to leave the rest up to fate.

Fate’s never been particularly good to him. Fate fucking owes him one.

He’s making himself paranoid, he can feel it, like his brain is anxious because it doesn’t have anything to be anxious about. It does that sometimes. 

Their plan is solid. Their plan should work.

Isak approaches Even with as much confidence as he can fake. It’s easier around him, actually. He’s comfortable enough with Even now that he knows how to lie to him.

It’s not exactly romantic.

“Hey,” Isak says. “Can we talk in the woods?”

Even’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “Talk, or…?”

“Just talk. I don’t want anyone to see us together.” Isak wants to seem like he’s going against his alliance, like he’d ultimately betray them to work with Even again.

“I’m sure running off into the woods together will divert suspicion.”

“You’re not saying no.”

Even shrugs and smiles, caught. Isak steps ahead of him to lead the way.

“I have an offer for you,” Isak says once they’re safely surrounded by trees. Even smirks, but there’s a softness to it now that wasn’t there at the beginning of the game. Fondness, maybe.

“I’m listening.”

“I miss you.”

And somehow, Even goes even softer—the smirk fades into a sad, sweet smile that matches the look in his eyes. “I miss you too, Isak. Are you doing ok—”

“No, no. Not like that.” While that’s a conversation they need to have, it can’t happen hours before tribal. Isak intends to save his feelings for finale night, but it’s hard not to hurt when Even’s smile disappears. “I miss playing with you.”

Even seems to understand the purpose of their conversation now, his eyebrows furrowing. “Not enough to stop playing with Jonas and Eva, though.”

“Not right now, no. But do you think I can sit in the final two with either of them?”

“Jonas? Yeah, absolutely.”

“Ok, then I can’t get to the end with him. He’s not going to keep playing the game I want to play.”

That gets a hint of Even’s smile back. “Do you think you can sit in the final two with me?”

“I’ve been analyzing your game since the first night. I know exactly how to tear it down.”

“ _Wow_.” Even laughs. “Not a great pitch for me to take you to final two, is it?”

“Come on. You know you want to do the same to my game.” When Even doesn’t argue, Isak continues with another appeal to his ego. “Look, we’re the biggest players out here. We fucking love this game. Wouldn’t it be more fun to fight each other in the end?”

Even hums, considering. “It would mean more nights together.”

Isak lets himself smile. “There’s that, too.”

“So what’s your offer, Isak?”

“We’re voting Elias out tonight.”

“Not me?”

“No. I talked them out of it, said we have a better chance against you than him. At least we know what side you’re on. No one knows what the fuck Elias is doing.”

“Well, he’s on my side.”

“Right. I’m sure he’s going to stick with the person who voted his sister out.”

“I’m not saying I trust him completely.” Isak makes a point of remembering that. “But where else is he going to go?”

“Oh, he’ll go with you. Right until the end, right until you stop being useful. That’s when he’ll stab you in the back, though. When it hurts the most.”

“I’m not sure he’s as dramatic as the two of us.”

“Really? Because I asked him, you know. About how it felt when you stabbed him in the back? And he was pretty chill about it, but only because he said it gave him another knife to use.”

It’s a good sign when Even goes quiet during game talk. It means Isak’s cut through his confidence, actually made him second-guess his strategy. It means Isak has control of the conversation, so he lays out his terms.

“If we can keep each other safe until the end?” Isak says. “I’ll take you to the end. I need to know you’re in, though.”

“You want me to vote for Elias tonight.”

“I don’t need you to.” Isak shrugs. “We have the majority. But, if you choose to? Maybe we can trust each other in the game again.”

“That contradicts what you said earlier, though.”

“What?”

“That we should keep each other around for the fun of it. Isn’t the fun not knowing what the other person will do next?”

As frustrating as that’s been, Isak can’t disagree. It’s been really fucking fun, too.

Especially when he’s the one who gets to surprise Even.

\---

“So, merge,” Mutta says. “An interesting time of the game.”

It takes Isak a moment to realize he’s waiting for someone to respond. When he’s met with silence, Mutta sighs and tries a new tactic. “Ok. I look at this tribe and see a couple possible divides. Typically, people form alliances based on their pre-merge tribes. But, I can’t imagine you’d do it that way when we have three sets of partners who were on different tribes. Vilde, what do you see happening?”

“Oh, it’s obvious,” she says. “Like you said, there’s three sets of partners. There’s an alliance of six right there.”

“So you think they’re working together?”

“No question.”

“Eskild, you’re in one of those pairs. Any response to that?” Mutta asks.

Eskild looks towards Linn, who shrugs. “There’s no point in lying about it, is there?” Eskild says. “Yeah. Of course we’re working together.”

“So everything’s out in the open, then.”

“Well, we’re still playing Survivor. I wouldn’t say everything.”

“Can I interject?” Even says.

“You always do,” Mutta says.

Even takes that as permission. “Sure, it makes perfect sense for the partners to work together right now. One pair is at the bottom of that alliance, though, and they should be seriously considering their options.”

“Do you have a sense of who that pair is?”

“Isak and Eva have been best friends since the beginning of this game. Does that answer your question?”

“Let me turn to Eva, then,” Mutta says. “What I’m hearing is that Eskild and Linn are at the bottom of the alliance. Is that true?”

“We’re not even thinking that far ahead,” Eva says, and Isak tenses. It just doesn’t sound believable. “We have three easy votes until we’re down to six. We’ll worry about it then.”

“Everyone knows that’s bullshit,” Elias says. “There’s always someone at the bottom. You can stay there or work to change your fate." 

“Where do you believe you stand, Linn?” Mutta asks.

“I’m not at the bottom,” she says.

“Care to elaborate?”

“No.”

“Ok then. Jonas, what are you basing tonight’s vote on? What’s changed since the merge?”

“Well, physical strength on the tribe is no longer an asset. It’s a threat.”

“Says the person wearing the immunity necklace.”

“It’s not everything, though. I’ll always be loyal to my alliance and vote based on how we’ll all get ahead in the game.”

“But that’s just it,” Even says. “There’s no decision in which you all get ahead. You’re always going to prioritize yourself, Isak, Eva, and Noora over Eskild and Linn. It’s never going to be a democracy.”

“Why are you assuming we’ll prioritize Eva and Noora?” Jonas asks.

“Because Isak told me that.” _Fuck._ “He told me long before merge that was his final four. That’s why I turned on him. And, actually—before tonight’s tribal? He said he wanted to work with me again. I asked if he’d betray Eva and Jonas for that, and he said he would. Which was bullshit, I know, but it’s interesting how Eskild and Linn never came up.”

“The whole thing was bullshit,” Isak says. “They knew I was going to talk to you.”

“So, you’re not voting for who you said?”

“I’m starting to think we should vote for you.”

Isak can’t believe he remembered going against Even like this as _fun_.

Linn whispers something to Eskild, _fuck_ , who nods, _fuck fuck fuck._ “Do you want to share with the rest of the class?” Mutta asks.

Eskild shakes his head. “No. We’re just going to stick to our plan.”

“Your plan,” Eva says, gesturing between the two of them. “Is that different than the plan?”

“How many plans are there?” Mutta asks.

“There should only be one,” Noora says.

Even laughs. “If you think there’s only one plan in Survivor? You deserve to go home.”

“Well, I think that’s an excellent note to start the voting on,” Mutta says. “You cannot vote for Jonas. Everyone else is vulnerable. Vilde, you’re up first.”

Vilde, Isak realizes, has been remarkably calm all tribal. He is not as calm when he casts his vote, and while there’s a moment of relief when no one plays an idol, it’s replaced by nerves once Mutta starts reading the votes.

“The first vote is for…Vilde.”

“The second vote is for…Noora.”

Isak's surprised. After his performance at tribal, he assumed Even wouldn’t follow through on voting for Elias, but he thought their side would target him or Eva.

It’s good, actually. Isak can see Eskild and Linn turning on anyone in their alliance but Noora.

The votes from there go: Vilde, Vilde, Noora, Noora, Vilde. With four votes cast for Vilde, Isak, Jonas, Eva, and Noora are accounted for. It’s the next two votes that determine who is going home.

“The eighth vote is for…Noora.”

Eva gasps, and Noora goes still. _Fuck._

“The tenth person voted out of this game and the fist member of our jury is…Noora. You need to bring me your torch.”

Noora turns to face Eskild and Linn behind her, but she doesn’t say anything. “I’m sorry,” Eskild says, and he sounds sincere. Linn even looks regretful. “It was the best move for our game, I’m so sorry.”

And it makes sense, Isak realizes too late. It all fucking makes sense.

Even would’ve told Eskild and Linn long before tribal that Isak’s commitment was to Eva and Noora, not to them. If they flipped, they’d enter an alliance as a pair where the strongest relationship was the fractured one between Even and Elias. But, Linn gets along well with Even, and with Vilde too. They’d have control.

Noora was their only really tie to the partners alliance. If Even, because Isak’s convinced this was all Even, could persuade them to vote her out, he’d never worry about them flipping back. There wouldn’t be anything for them to go back to. Plus, Eskild would fucking love the drama of betraying his best friend in his alliance. That's a big fucking move. 

And there’s another advantage in getting rid of Noora: it weakens Eva. They had this plan long before tribal, Isak's sure of it, but Even’s little performance at tribal made it look like this was all Isak’s fault for giving Even too much information. He’s trying to turn Eva against him, too.

It’s a bold play, for sure, but Isak should have fucking known to expect that from Even.

“I can’t believe….” Noora starts to say, but true to fashion, doesn't finish her thought. 

Eva hugs her in a way that makes Isak feel like he shouldn’t watch, whispering to her the entire time. Noora nods, kisses her forehead, then leaves the game with just a small wave.

Eva looks fucking furious.

“Hey,” Isak says, holding her arm. He wants to make sure she’s still with him. “We don’t get heartbroken. We get revenge.”

Eva nods, as quick as her pulse must be racing.

“Oh, I am winning this fucking game now.”


	25. Gambling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak contemplates taking risks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, it's been a bit of a wait, but this is a longer chapter, so hopefully that makes up for it! We have the Survivor auction this chapter, and you can watch one [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqloULk3dDA) if you're interested. They're so much fun. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).
> 
> Enjoy! ❤️

“Why the fuck would you tell Even we had a final four?”

It’s a fair, perfectly reasonable question, one Isak spent the entire ride back from tribal asking himself. While Isak knows how to be harsh with himself, Eva’s tone hits him even harder. It’s one thing when his mistakes only hurt himself. It’s another thing entirely when they hurt someone else.

“I told you after the second swap that I wanted him to think I was with him.”

“Oh, I remember. That was right before the tribal where he tried to vote me out, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So, that went really well. Seriously Isak, what was your master plan? ‘Hey Even, I’m in an alliance with three other people you’re not working with, but you know I’m with you to the end.’”

It does sound slightly ridiculous to hear it out loud.

“I told him I was playing you guys.”

“God Isak, he’s not stupid. Why the hell would he believe that?”

Jonas, truly a silent partner until now, says, “Maybe we should all take a breath.”

“Does it seem like I’m fucking out of breath, Jonas?”

“Look, I get that you’re upset, but this isn’t all Isak’s fault. We all stood here and agreed to target Vilde, no matter what Even was planning. And fuck, we don’t know what convinced Eskild and Linn to flip. Maybe it wasn’t even him. Maybe we all just did a shit job of convincing them they weren’t at the bottom.”

“Ok, so would you also like me to yell at you for the shit way you’ve played this game?”

“If it’ll make you feel better? Sure. Go for it. But what’s changed, Eva? Are you going to go work with Even now because you’re pissed at us?”

“Of course not.”

“We have got to have each other’s backs. It’s the only way any of us stand a chance.”

Isak stares. “Nice pep talk.”

Jonas shrugs. “Figured it was time to make myself useful.”

Isak laughs, and Eva almost smiles before she realizes what she’s doing. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m just—I’m so fucking exhausted. I really need to sleep tonight.”

“It’s chill,” Jonas says. “We’ll try this again in the morning.”

They say goodnight, but Isak knows he won’t sleep well with that as the end of the conversation. Jonas helped, and maybe gave Eva a new perspective—but she’s still pissed at him, and he’s still the reason Noora’s gone, and maybe she doesn’t forgive him for this one.

He doesn’t want to lose her in the game, of course. He’s still mostly worried about losing her company.

As everyone settles in for the night, Even approaches Isak. “Do I dare ask?” he says, nodding towards the shelter with what Isak can only assume is meant to be a wink. When Isak takes longer than a second to respond, he continues, “Come on. You can’t be pissed at me for this.”

“I’m a man of many talents.”

“You’re openly gunning for me. I had to fight back.”

“I get that, but you didn’t just throw me under the bus at tribal. You drove the bus, ran me over, then backed up to make sure I was really dead.”

Even smiles and God, _fuck him_. Especially because Isak would kind of like to fuck him. One person shouldn’t be able to make him feel this many things. “Because you’re my biggest competition, Isak. You said it yourself. You’re the only person I’m worried about sitting in final two with.”

Even is not arrogant or ignorant enough to actually believe that. Linn’s a threat. Eva’s a threat. Fuck, for all Isak knows, Vilde’s a threat too.

“Then why’d you vote Noora out instead of me?”

“Well, I agreed with something else you said.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s fun to fight with you. And I get so fucking bored out here.”

“I was right about that. It is going to be so fun to watch Mutta snuff your torch next tribal.”

Even raises his eyebrows at that, but he’s still smiling. He steps closer, brushes his hand against Isak’s. “Can’t wait to see how you’ll try.”

And, _fuck._ Fuck that voice, fuck that smile. Fuck how much Isak likes him because he does, he fucking loves playing like this with someone so clever, so competitive, so  _game._ And fuck how Isak knows, absolutely, that in their quieter, lonelier, sadder moments, Even will be sweet, thoughtful, and gentle.  Because that’s just who Even is: a boy Isak likes that might just sincerely like him back.

Even if he believes that now, what the fuck is he supposed to do with it?

“Hey,” Even says, moving towards the shelter. “Let’s get some sleep.”

For tonight, Isak will let himself be held.

\---

In the morning, Vilde brings everyone an envelope addressed to them from tree mail.

Isak’s fucking panicked they’re letters from home.

Eskild opens his before Vilde’s finished passing them out, revealing a stack of fake cash labelled _survivor bucks_. “It’s the auction!” he says. “Oh my God, we’re going to _eat_ today. I want ice cream, an entire pizza, steak—”

“You’ll literally die,” Linn says.

“And what a way to go.”

Isak’s excited about the auction as well, but not because of the food. There’s always one or two advantages up for bid, and Isak will save all of his survivor bucks for that.

Eva approaches Isak, fanning the bills in front of her face. “How much do you think I’d get if I auctioned this off for real after the show?”

“I don’t know, but would any amount be worth as much as nachos right now?”

“Oh my God, definitely not.” Eva smiles, and Isak’s relieved. She looks like she actually managed to sleep. Isak did too, but he was coaxed into it by the way Even drew circles on his back. “Especially because being this hungry and tired has made me a little….”

“I’m not finishing that sentence.”

“Wise. Anyway, I wanted to say I’m sorry for going off on you last night. I was pissed, and sad, and so fucking hungry—”

“It’s cool. I get it.”

“Well it’s not, because you’re the only person besides Noora who’s been with me this entire game. Jonas was right: we all fucked up the last vote. I just wanted to put the blame somewhere.”

It’s not that Isak doesn’t appreciate the apology, even if he doesn’t believe it’s necessary. He just doesn’t understand why Eva’s bothering, why she looks more nervous with each word she says. It’s not like Isak was going to abandon her in the game, she knows that—

“So, I’m sorry for that,” Eva continues. “I don’t want to lose you because of this game, you know?”

Oh. It’s, actually, exactly what Isak was worried about last night. He nods.

“Yeah. Same.”

“Can I tell you what makes me nervous, then?”

“Of course.”

“I’m in an alliance of three with a pair. It’s kind of obvious what’s going to happen to me.”

But Isak, truly, doesn’t see it that way. It’s why he doesn’t feel like he’s lying when he shakes his head. “In this game? You’ve been more of a partner to me than Jonas has. I’ve got your back.”

Eva doesn’t seem convinced, but maybe it doesn’t matter. As Jonas said last night, what choice do the three of them have? They need each other. “Ok.”

Jonas approaches them, and Isak’s grateful he didn’t walk over a moment sooner. “So, it’s morning,” he says. “I haven’t heard any yelling?”

Eva shakes her head. “It’s out of my system. Let’s plan.”

“We can use this auction,” Isak says. “There’s definitely going to be an advantage up for bid. I’ll bid everything on it.”

“You don’t want to eat?” Jonas asks.

“We have rice.”

“Will you hate me if I bid on food?” Eva asks.

“No. Only one of us can get it, anyway.”

“You know Even will go for it,” Jonas says.

“If we both bid the same, we draw rocks for it.”

“So, all three of us drawing rocks will increase our odds,” Eva says.

“Or it means all of us leave the auction without anything,” Isak says. “Seriously, you guys should eat. That’s an advantage in itself going into the challenge.”

Eva and Jonas don’t fight him too hard on that. “Ok, perfect world,” Eva says. “One of us wins immunity. Someone else finds an idol. It’s still going to be very easy for them to vote whoever’s left off.”

“We need to get numbers on our side,” Jonas says. “And it’s not going to be Eskild or Linn.”

“Or Even,” Isak says, which makes Jonas furrows his eyebrows. “What? You think he’s going to work with us now?”

“Not when he’s our target,” Eva says. “We have to vote him out this tribal.

“Then maybe we can get Elias.”

“You’ve said that before—”

“I know, but listen. He’s just been waiting for the right time to turn on Even, and this is it. Because if he flips now and we send one of them home? We gain majority. If he waits one more vote? He’ll be joining a minority. It’s much easier to overcome five to three than five to two.”

“And maybe we can get Vilde through him,” Jonas says.

“Maybe,” Isak says, though he’s skeptical of that. He at least appreciates that Jonas is playing now. “It will be easier to pitch to her if she knows she’d have the majority with us.”

“I don’t know if we can flip her,” Eva says. “Even if we get Elias, she’s closer with Linn than she is with him.”

“Maybe we can’t.” Isak shrugs. “All I know is that we don’t have a lot of options, but we have even less to lose. Might as well try what we can.”

It’s not exactly inspiring, but it seems to satisfy Eva for the time being. Though they’re not in a great position, Isak at least knows he can trust his alliance.

Sometimes, that counts for more than a number does.

\---

“Welcome to the Survivor auction. In tree mail, you were each given 500 survivor bucks to bid on these items. The bidding will start at 20 bucks and increase in increments of 20. You are not allowed to share money or food. The auction will end without warning, so if you see something you like, bid on it. Ready to get started?”

As a viewer, the auction frustrates Isak. He watches people waste all their money on shit like candy and beer when they know there’s an advantage coming. However, when Mutta reveals the first item to be spaghetti, garlic bread, and wine, Isak’s tempted to put all his money on it.

His hunger’s just so fucking persistent, especially now that they’re late in the game. It’s hard to ignore when the island practically smells like a restaurant, but he reminds himself it would only be a temporary fix. The hunger returning would be a greater loss than not eating today.

Eskild does not appear to reason with himself the same way. “300!” he yells.

“300,” Mutta repeats. “The bidding starts at 20, but you went straight to 300?”

“Mutta, I am wasting away,” Eskild says. “A mere shell of my former self. I need carbs just to survive the night.”

“Well, I appreciate a man who knows what he wants. Going once, going twice—sold to Eskild.”

When Mutta brings the next item to the table, he keeps the cover on it. “This one’s going to remain a secret,” he says. “Who wants to start the bidding?”

“20,” Elias says.

“Oh, fuck it. 40,” Eva says.

“100.”

“200.”

“300.”

Eva raises her hands in surrender. “You’re not risking it?” Mutta asks.

“Not for the unknown.”

“Ok. Going once, going twice—sold to Elias for 300. Come see what you got.”

Isak’s just hoping it’s not the advantage.

Once Elias reaches the table, Mutta pulls the cover off the item, revealing a single coconut. “This is what 300 bucks bought you.”

“Fuck,” Elias mumbles as Eva says, “Thank God.”

“But wait, there’s more,” Mutta says, reaching behind the table. He comes back with a straw. “See? It’s fun now.”

Elias rolls his eyes as he takes his coconut back to the benches.

“Let’s keep the next item covered as well,” Mutta says. “For the fun of it.”

“20,” Eva says.

“For the unknown?” Mutta asks.

Eva shrugs. “I’m playing the odds now.”

“200,” Eskild says.

“220,” Eva says.

Eskild sighs as Mutta says, “Going once, going twice—sold to Eva. Want to see what you bought?”

“Please.”

Mutta pulls the cover off, revealing a plate of nachos loaded with ground beef, cheese, peppers, onions, sour cream, and salsa. “Oh my God,” Eva says. “That is exactly what I’ve been craving.”

“Let’s make it even sweeter,” Mutta says, reaching behind table. “How about a cold beer to wash it all down?”

Eva makes a noise Isak can’t quite decipher, but he knows he’s only seen her look this happy with Noora.

“Fuck,” Even says from behind them once Eva’s brought her meal back to the benches. “Those look so good.”

“When are you going to get in on this?” Mutta asks.

“When I see something that’s worth its price.”

Eva turns sideways in her seat so she’s facing Even, smiling. She takes a handful of nachos and makes a show of enjoying them, finishing her performance with a long swig of her beer. “I’d say that was worth it.”

As the auction continues, Linn outbids Elias for a slice of cheesecake and coffee, and Vilde outbids Eskild for a shower. "So, Jonas, Isak, and Even haven’t bid at all yet, but maybe this will sway you,” Mutta says, revealing a cell phone. “This is for a phone call home.”

“500.”

Isak turns towards Jonas’s voice, but he’s already walking towards Mutta with his money in hand. “Any competing bids?” Mutta asks, and Isak’s comforted by the silence. In a thought he wishes he wasn’t selfish enough to have, he’s relieved not everyone’s excited by the prospect of calling home. “Ok, going once, going twice—sold to Jonas.”

Once Jonas reaches the auction table, Mutta says, “You didn’t hesitate with that bid. Are you worried about what you might miss out on?”

Jonas shakes his head. “This is all I care about.”

“I’m sure that’s the case for a lot of people here, so why don’t you give someone else that gift as well? Jonas, you can choose one other person to receive a phone call home.”

Oh no.

Jonas looks at Isak, who—seriously, what does he _do_ here? He doesn’t want it, he doesn’t even know who he’d call, but is he supposed to shake his head? Say no? Admit he’s the first person in the history of Survivor who doesn’t want to hear from his loved ones?

Who doesn’t even fucking have loved ones to hear from?

“I think I’ll give it to Elias.”

Isak exhales. Jonas knows him. And once Isak’s past the relief, he recognizes it for the good game move it is.

Jonas has been kind of useful lately.

“Seriously?” Elias asks.

“Yeah. You’ve had a shit time at this auction. But even besides that, I have a little sister too. I know how hard it was for you to lose Sana. Even if you can’t talk to her, maybe talking to your family will help.”

"Very subtle," Even says. 

“This is coming from you?” Isak says. “The master of subtlety?”

“I blindsided you last tribal, didn’t I?”

“Even, what are you referring to?” Mutta asks.

“Jonas is denying his best friend a phone call home to give it someone I’m not sure he’s ever spoken to? He’s clearly trying to court Elias.”

“I’m just trying to do a nice thing,” Jonas says.

“Then you’re not playing right,” Even says.

“Whatever, I don’t care why you’re doing it,” Elias says. “I just want to talk to my family.”

And that’s what they do. Jonas calls his mom, and his side of the conversation is full of reassurances that he’s ok, questions about Thea, and a kind of laughter Isak’s only heard when he tagged along to their family dinners.

“Isak?” Jonas says into phone. “Yeah, no, he’s doing really good…Mom, it’s Survivor, none of us are eating enough…you won’t believe how much weight we’ve lost…yeah, yeah, we're pretty scruffy. I’ll tell him. I love you too.”

Isak really didn’t think this would make him cry, and yet. He’s probably just tired.

“Mom says she misses both of us,” Jonas says once he hangs up.

“She’s nice,” Isak says, and he believes that she is. However, he can’t believe she misses him: an intrusion on her life, the guilt on her conscience.

Jonas nods, but he’s frowning when he hands the phone to Elias. He also calls his mom, and—

Isak can’t listen to another one. He just can’t.

He turns around to face Even. “Distract me,” he whispers.

“I know you’re going for the advantage,” Even whispers, and his response is so quick, so immediate, so right _there_ for him, that it kind of makes Isak want to cry again. “So, you get a leg up in a challenge? An idol clue? You do realize neither of those things will help you outsmart me?”

“But you’re going for them too. I think you’re scared of me.”

“Just trying to keep it fun.”

Even squeezes Isak’s shoulder, and Isak is a little bit in love with him. The asshole.

“Ok, I have another item I think some of you have been waiting for,” Mutta says, placing a scroll on the table. “This is a clue to the hidden immunity idol.”

“500,” Isak and Even say in unison.

“Alright, then we’re drawing rocks. Isak, Even, come up to the table.” They do so, and Mutta instructs them to each pull a rock from a bag without looking at it. “Black rock wins the the clue. White gets nothing. And…reveal.”

Isak opens his palm and sees black. He glances at Even’s to be sure—white. And looking at both of their hands, he wonders if they even need to get Vilde. As long as they have Elias, they can tie the vote. He trusts his alliance not to flip in a revote, and he’s not sure the other side’s that committed to each other. But, even if they are--

They can always go to rocks. It’s not like they have anything to lose. Maybe it’s time to take a risk.

“Isak, you can open that once you’re back at camp,” Mutta says. “You can do with it as you wish. And Even, now you have a nice souvenir.”

“I’ll treasure it forever,” Even says.

“On that note, let’s conclude the auction. You can head back to camp.”

“Congratulations,” Even says, extending his free hand to shake Isak’s. “I’m looking forward to seeing how you’ll waste that.”

Isak's looking forward to using the clue to fuck Even’s game for good.

There has to be a way he can use it to get Elias.

 ---

Isak should be working once they're back at the camp.

He has to flip Elias, he has to deal with this clue, he has to make a plan—there is fucking work to do, but it’s hard to focus on any of it when he just feels heavy. He doesn’t regret not bidding on food, he’s not even sure if it’s the hunger that’s getting to him, maybe it's just the exhaustion--the way his brain's constantly  _going._

He’s alone, skipping rocks in the ocean to try and make it stop. It doesn’t work until another voice interrupts his own.

“Hey.”

Jonas sits beside Isak without waiting for an invitation, picking up a rock of his own. It skips three times before it sinks, and doesn’t everything work out well for Jonas?

Isak doesn’t want to be bitter like this. It doesn’t make him a good friend, and he’s confused that Jonas hasn’t realized that yet.

“Nice that you got to talk to your mom,” Isak says.

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry if it….” Isak looks at him, a silent beg, and Jonas understands. “Anyway. I think Elias appreciated it.”

“It was a good play.”

“Even if it was transparent?”

Isak shrugs. “They already knew we’d go for Elias. We just need to make sure Elias wants to join us, and you helped with that.”

“Well, good.”

“With Eva, too. Thanks for calming that down.”

“Wow. It almost sounds like you like having me as a partner.”

“You know I—”

“Yeah, I do.” Jonas hesitates. “I mean, I know I’m not Even, but—”

Isak rolls his eyes because he knows Jonas, and Jonas has never been insecure about him hanging out with other people. He also knows that while he considers himself to be the better liar, the more manipulative one, Jonas has led him into many conversations he’d swore to avoid. Isak wouldn’t even realize he was in them until he was suddenly voicing thoughts that had never existed outside of his mind.

“What are you trying to say?”

“What’s going on with you guys?”

“Nothing, anymore. I don’t know. We’re not working together—”

“I know you kissed. More than once.”

Isak stops, surprised. “Eva?”

“Don’t get mad at her. She assumed I knew. I kind of wondered why I didn’t.”

Well, for starts, it’s awkward to tell one boy you’re in love with about another boy you’re in love with. “It’s not like it’s going to become anything.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Is it? He obviously likes you. He’s with you every night, he looks out for you, he fucking hates me—”

“How do you know that’s not just your personality?”

“Because I’m charming as hell. He’s jealous.”

Isak wants to argue that, but he’s been given too much evidence at this point to continue denying it. “Maybe.”

“Then what’s the problem? What’s wrong with him? What’s the bullshit reason you’re going to give this time?”

Nothing is wrong with Even, absolutely nothing.

“I like him too much.”

“Isak—"

“I do, so if it doesn’t work, _when_ it doesn’t work—I don’t know if I’ll be able to come back from it.”

“Why won’t it work?”

“Because it’s me? People leave me. And I get it, I completely get it—"

“Fuck, Isak. I haven’t left.”

That, Isak has to admit, is true.

“I will always have your back,” Jonas says. “Always. But Isak, I can’t keep being the only one. You have got to try with other people. I want you to have more people to call home to.”

Isak would like that too.

“I want to stay close with Eva after this.”

“She’s cool as fuck.”

“She is.”

“And Even?”

“I’m just fucking terrified of it.”

Jonas throws another rock into the water. It sinks immediately, but Isak doesn’t want to believe in bad omens during this conversation. It’s actually been kind of nice. He feels lighter.  

“You’re playing Survivor. What's a better time to take a risk?" 


	26. Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak breaks some rules to take some risks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, happy celebrity big brother premiere day! It's probably going to be a disaster, but I'm definitely going to watch anyway, and I always welcome conversation about in the comments or on [tumblr](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).
> 
> You can watch a video of the immunity challenge [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2xwfuw7Ga0&t=201s). 
> 
> Enjoy!

The night after the auction, Isak can’t sleep.

It’s everything: the constant aching in his throat, the bugs making their nightly meal of him, the new and creative ways in which his stomach is begging him for food. It’s everywhere the idol could be, everyone he has to manipulate to survive the next vote, everything that could potentially happen next tribal. It’s Jonas’s words demanding attention, and it’s Even laying beside him doing the same.

It’s Even, it’s Even, it’s _Even._

Those thoughts remind him of others in that tricky way that thoughts work. His sore throat makes him think of him the couple times he got sick at school, puking-in-the-hallway-sick, but no one could get a hold of his parents to pick him up. The bugs, well, Isak was always swatting something away at home, flies looking for the leftover food on dirty dishes. And the hunger, he remembers searching the backs of cupboards for anything he could scrounge together, inviting himself over to Jonas’s when he couldn’t.

As for the game, his brain is kind enough to search for memories that bring confidence. Like, winning awards in school, his dad bragging about them when he knew about them. His thesis advisor saying she appreciated how Isak never settled for easy ideas, always put the work into understanding the complex And when watching Survivor, predicting what would happen at tribal before the opening credits even played.

His entire life, Isak realizes, he’s understood two facts about himself. He is smart. And he is not worth being cared for.

The problem is that Isak loves facts in a way that’s almost desperate, the certainty of them. He doesn’t know what his mom sees when she closes her eyes, what his dad sees when he looks at Isak, or what the fuck he feels for Even, so it’s easier to focus on what he understands to be true. He takes comfort in his intelligence, but there’s also a strange solace in his loneliness. It’s a feeling he understands, so maybe it’s ok if hurts.

But.

Maybe he doesn’t actually know what’s true.

Maybe, as Even once told him, he needs to consider the new evidence.

Maybe facts can change. Actually, it happens all the time.

Maybe he doesn’t have to continue hurting like this.

Maybe it’s time to take a risk.

Isak presses his body against Even’s, startling when Even hums. “Hey. There you are.”

“Thought you were asleep.”

“Drifting in and out.”

“Oh.”

“You’re restless.”

“Yeah. A little.”

“Here.” Even slides one arm underneath Isak and wraps the other around his chest, holding him. Here, Even’s _here_ , and he has been this entire game.

Isak’s not sure he’s done the same for him.

“Even?”

“Yeah?”

“How badly did I hurt you?”

It’s quiet. Even’s touch feels loud.

“Uh,” Even says after too many moments. “I guess I chose to buy the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line. Maybe I was being naïve.”

Isak’s response is instant. “You weren’t.”

The night seems brighter. Maybe Even’s smiling. “Well then, ok.”

The quiet returns, awkward this time. Neither of them can sleep in this moment, but neither of them know what do with it either.

“You can really see the stars tonight,” Even says.

“Mm.”

“Makes me think about what you said. About there being other universes?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like maybe each star is a different one.”

“That’s not how it works—”

“Well, this is my theory. I get to say how it works.” Isak feels Even’s arm leave his chest, watches his hand point to the sky. “That one. That star. What is the Isak in that universe doing?”

“I don’t really want to think about it.”

“What? Isn’t that the whole point?”

“Yeah, but.”

“Is that the end of a sentence?”

“I don’t want to think about an Isak who is anywhere but here.”

“Playing Survivor?”

“No. Just like, with you. In your arms.”

Quiet.

And then, fingers in his hair, against his cheek. His name, even softer than the touch.

“Isak.”

He likes hearing his name like that.

“Can we talk tomorrow?”

“Please tell me you don’t mean about the game.”

“God, no.”

“Then yeah, Isak. Of course.” Even kisses the top of his head, then tenses against him. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No. It’s ok.” After reflecting on it for a second more, he adds, “Ok is an understatement.”

“Then how did it actually feel?”

“Good.” Isak pauses. “Right.”

“What about our rule? No kissing?"

“Fuck it.”

“Fuck it?”

“Yeah.

So, Even does it again. Then, he kisses Isak’s forehead, cheek, and jaw.

Eventually, he finds Isak’s lips in the dark.

\---

In the morning, Isak’s refreshed.

It was not, by any definition, a restful sleep, but his brain’s calmed down. He slept in the arms of a beautiful, kind boy that kissed him everywhere he needed to be kissed, and he’s happy about that. Really fucking happy about that, actually.

They need to talk, of course. Isak needs to clarify, and apologize, and maybe finally accept Even’s dinner invitation. It’s not going to happen now as they’re both busy preparing for tribal, but despite his nerves, Isak’s optimistic about it.

Hope is not something he’s let himself feel in a long time. He likes it.

And the change must be noticeable, because Jonas greets him with raised eyebrows and Eva greets him with a squint. “You look happy,” she says.

“Yeah. I might be.” Isak turns to Jonas. “I’m taking your advice.”

“About fucking time.”

Isak shrugs because yeah, maybe it is.

“Ok, I don’t know what’s up with the two of you,” Eva says. “But has our position in the game suddenly changed? Do we not have work to do?”

“No, we do,” Isak says. “We have to get Elias.”

“How? I was thinking last night that it doesn’t matter how many rewards we give him or how badly he wants revenge. We’re still asking him to leave the majority for what’s probably going to be a tie vote. What, we’re going to convince him to draw rocks?”

“Drawing rocks is a good deal if you’re the target,” Jonas says, and that’s true. In a tie where it goes to rocks, the people who tied become safe, and everyone else becomes vulnerable.

“But he’s not the target on either side,” Eva says. “He’s not going to leave safety to put himself at risk.”

“Unless he has safety,” Isak says.

“Like if he wins immunity?” Jonas asks.

“That, or….” Isak pulls the idol clue out of his shorts. Time for another risk. “What’s a better way to build trust?”

Jonas and Eva both stare at him.

“You’re serious,” Jonas says, and Isak nods.

“That’s your safety,” Eva says. “You can’t give that up.”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s my safety, but it does shit for three of us. At most, it gets me another tribal. We’ll all lose this game unless we can flip it, and this feels like our last chance.”

“Why would you bid everything on a clue to give it up?” Jonas asks.

“It’s still an advantage. This is just a creative way to use it.” When neither of them apologize for doubting him, Isak continues. “Seriously, think about it. Let’s say Elias has the idol and one of us wins immunity. If we go to rocks, whoever the other side votes for is safe too. That only puts one of us at risk.”

“But if one of us has the idol,” Jonas says. “We can play this so none of us are at risk.”

“Ok, so one of them goes home, and we stay in the minority. If this works, we gain majority. We can’t play for survival anymore. We need to play for the win.”

“He actually has a point,” Eva says.

“I’m going to ignore the ‘actually’ and just say thank you,” Isak says. “Listen, I’ll feel Elias out when I talk to him. If I can’t trust him, I won’t.”

“I guess it’s your clue,” Jonas says, shrugging. “You can do what you want with it.”

“But you’d rather I didn’t.”

“I don’t want you to go home when you could have been safe.”

“I’m not playing safe anymore. And we’re playing Survivor, right? What better time to take a risk?”

Jonas rolls his eyes, but ultimately nods in concession.

“Ok. I trust you.”

\---

Isak invites Elias to get firewood with him.

As Even watches them walk off together, Isak’s tempted to blow a kiss, but stops himself. He’ll save the taunting for after he wins.

“So,” Isak says once they’re far enough into the woods to have some privacy. “Still got that knife?”

“Well. Yeah.”

“Ever planning on using it?”

Elias glances at Isak. “Waiting for the right time.”

Elias is not, and never has been, very good at this game. It’s how Even’s been able to control him even after he voted Sana out. Isak doesn’t want to condescend, but he has to make Elias understand the big picture here.

“Ok, but we’re running out of time,” Isak says. “If you don’t flip this vote, your numbers will be 5-2. And I get why that’s appealing, trust me, but it also means you won’t have another chance to flip.”

“But it keeps me safe. Even might bring me to the end. Beating him would be so fucking sweet—"

“Why would Even bring you to the end if he doesn’t think he can beat you? It’s not like he’s going to do it out of some loyalty to you.”

Elias considers that. “I don’t know who I can beat here, really.”

“Then maybe it’s time to start building your resume.” Elias is quiet, prompting Isak to continue. “We just merged. There’s so much game left, and this is the game at its most complex. If you pull off some big moves now? And if one of those moves is getting rid of _Even_? You have the jury in your pocket.”

“And this is the last chance to do that,” Elias says.

“Kind of, yeah. You’re not going to have three people to help you like this again.”

“Right, but that only makes us four.”

“Do you have any sway with Vilde?”

Elias shakes his head. “She won’t go against Linn. Ever.”

“Ok, then we’re four. We tie. Either someone on their side flips in the revote, or we go to rocks.”

“I’m not going to rocks unless I win immunity.”

That’s Isak’s cue. “Maybe you don’t have to win it.”

Isak pulls the idol clue out of his shorts and hands it to Elias. He studies it for a moment, then says, “For real?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would you give this to me?”

“Well, as a bargaining tool.” Isak shrugs. “I want you on our side, I want you to trust me, and I want you to be safe this tribal.”

Elias tucks the clue away in his own shorts. “So, you’re saying we all vote Even tonight.”

“No. If we all vote Even and we go to rocks, he’ll be safe. Who’s not really a threat on that side?”

“Eskild’s just doing whatever Linn says.”

“Then we vote Eskild and hope Even draws the odd rock. But really, we’re in a good position if any of them go home.”

Elias furrows his eyebrows at that. “So, ok. If we’re not voting for Even, how do I know you and Even aren’t secretly working together?”

“Why the fuck would you think I’m working with Even?”

“We all sleep in the same shelter, Isak.”

Well, ok. Maybe they haven’t been the most subtle. “That has nothing to do with the game, though. He’s coming for me, and I need to get him first. I just need your help.”

“Yeah, it’s not going to work if you phrase it like that.”

“What?”

“I’ll do this on two conditions,” Elias says, and Isak’s taken aback. He didn't see this as an invitation to bargain. “One, I have to find the idol. I’m not going to rocks if I’m not safe.”

“Ok. I’ll help you look. What’s two?”

“I don’t want the jury to think this is your plan I’m helping with. They need to believe its mine. I approached you, I found the idol myself, and I decided to take this risk.”

As long as Elias does what he wants this vote, Isak can say whatever the fuck he wants to the jury.

“Yeah, sure. This is your move.”

“Then I’m in.”

\---

With an uncertain tribal ahead, winning immunity is fucking vital.

For the challenge, each player is given 150 wooden tiles. The first person to build a house of cards with them that’s 10-feet tall wins.

Isak has some confidence going into it. He understands how to build a structure that can support himself, and he believes he’s calm enough to keep a steady hand.

However, when he glances at Even’s tower that’s at least a foot higher than he is, he knocks his own over in a panic.

“Isak’s going to have to start again!” Mutta says. “You need to keep focus here. Block out all distractions.”

“Like your voice?” Isak says.

“Oh Isak, everyone saw you looking at me,” Even says, placing another tile on top of his tower.

Isak surveys everyone else’s towers, noticing that Jonas is the only person close to where Even is. He could try to catch up—or he could play a little dirty.

“How could I not be distracted by you, Even?” Isak says, lowering his voice enough to catch Even’s gaze. “Thinking about touching you, kissing you. On the neck, maybe? But then I’d go lower, and even lower than that—”

“Family show!” Mutta interrupts, but it’s too late. Even’s hand shakes as he places his next tile, causing his entire tower to fall.

“Fuck you,” Even says, his grin suggesting he’d like to do just that.

Isak smirks at him and shrugs. “You know you’d do the same to me. I’m playing from your rule book.”

Jonas wins easily after that, which is ideal. If Elias finds the idol, three out of four of them will be safe if they go to rocks. And if Isak has to be the one that’s left vulnerable, so be it.

He’s kind of enjoyed vulnerability lately.

So, when they’re back at camp and Even invites him to talk, Isak’s ready to tell him everything.


	27. Excitement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak works out how he feels about Even.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some fun with this one. Hope you like it. :)
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

“Do you remember the first time we came here?”

Isak hums, turning Even’s hand over in his own. Of course, _of course_ he does. Their first kiss, how full Isak felt, what a fucking rush it was to gain something. Someone. And the talk afterwards, Even’s confessions, his humour, the depth of his thoughts. Even understanding that Isak couldn’t give the same honesty to him, respecting his silence, but offering to listen whenever Isak was ready to talk.

The moment he knew he could fall in love with Even, and the moment he knew their relationship on this island wouldn’t exist outside of it.

But no matter what happens in the game, and no matter how illogical it seems that Even could like Isak the way Isak likes him, they always end up back here, with each other. Why can’t that happen in the real world too?

Isak wants it to.

They’re sitting side-by-side underneath the tree they first kissed against. “After we kissed,” Even says. “I remember thinking that I’d never felt anything like that.”

“Me neither.”

“I was so excited.”

“Me too.”

Even tilts his head so he’s looking at Isak, studies him. “Then why did you reject me?”

Isak sighs, running his thumb over the back of Even’s hand. Where the fuck does he even begin?

“I lied earlier,” Even says.

Isak raises his eyebrows. “I’m shocked.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly _lie_ ,” Even backtracks. “Just, when you asked how badly you hurt me last night? I was so happy you were opening up to me again that I wasn’t completely honest.”

Isak cringes. “So, I did hurt you.”

“Yeah? I mean, of course? I was having so much fun with you, I liked you so much, and I kept thinking about everything we’d do after this. Everything we could finally talk about. And then you ended us before we could really start.”

“I thought I had to. I didn’t think we’d get an ‘after this.’ Our relationship was born in the game, so it would die in the game.”

“Why, though? Before we even had a chance to try?” Isak glances at the camera, and Even follows his gaze. “I’m sorry, I know there’s stuff you can’t say.”

When Even’s eyes return to his own, Isak remembers who he’s really talking to here. Yes, there are cameras, there’s an audience that will judge him, there’s what Jonas will think when he watches the show—

But right here, right now, there’s Even with his pretty blue eyes.

It’s not only that he deserves the truth, though that’s true. It’s that Even might just be the person meant to help him with it.

“No. It’s ok.” Isak hesitates, unsure of where to start. He decides to go straight for the hurt because he’s fucking tired of carrying it alone. “I don’t know how to believe that someone cares about me. Because like, my dad left when I was sixteen. Not to go all tragic backstory on you, but….”

“Isak, it’s ok. Tell me everything. I want to know.”

Isak raises his eyebrows, a question of: _really_? Even simply nods.

“Ok. Well, it’s not a fucking unique story, is it? He left me, and my mom was really sick—I had all this responsibility and I didn’t know what the fuck to do. But even before that, he was never actually there for either of us. And I needed him, you know? I needed someone. I wasn’t good at making friends because I didn’t know how the fuck to be myself, because he always told me that what I thought and how I felt was wrong. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’m not making sense.”

“You don’t have to make sense right now. Just tell me how you feel. That can’t be wrong.”

Isak takes a moment just to look at him and God, he feels like could cry again. This fucking island.

“Anyway, Jonas was really the only person I had,” Isak says. “Which hasn’t been fair to him at all, but he’s too good of a person to care about that. I was always nervous something would happen, I’d say the wrong thing, or he’d get a serious girlfriend, and he’d move on. Like, it was only a matter of time before he left me too.”

“He hasn’t, though. Left you.”

Isak shakes his head. “That’s what he said when—”

“When?”

“When he told me I should go for it with you.”

Even smiles. “I always liked him.”

Isak laughs. “You’re such a liar, holy fuck.”

“Ok, so that’s the tragic backstory,” Even says. “Where do I fit in?”

“That was the problem,” Isak says. “You didn’t. You liked me, and I felt like we could actually have something—I just didn’t know how to process that. So, I thought we must be tricking ourselves, confusing the game for reality. And that it would really hurt if we didn’t realize that before the game was over, if we tried this and ended up breaking each other’s hearts. I couldn’t handle that.”

“I get it,” Even says. “Trust me, I get it, but I didn’t ask for your hand in marriage. I asked you out for dinner.”

“I was scared.”

“Hey, me too.” Even leans over Isak to kiss him on the cheek. “But I don’t think we have to be. I mean, this is nice, right?”

“Mhm."

“Then can’t we go back to being excited?”

Isak nods. “Yeah. I liked that feeling.”

“So did I.”

This time, Even kisses him properly, and Isak melts into it. He could kiss Even so many more times after this, and he’s fucking excited about concept.

“And can I just say,” Even starts. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Your dad’s a fucking asshole, that’s all.”

“Yeah. That’s what Jonas says.”

“Oh fuck, you’re making me think we could be friends.”

Isak laughs. “Maybe we can all hang out after this. After we go out for dinner.”

“Hm, I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore.”

“Are you fucking serious? After my heartfelt confession?”

Even laughs. “No, that’s exactly it. It doesn’t feel like enough for the way I feel about you right now.”

Oh.

Even leans in close enough to whisper. “I want to cook for you,” he says, then places a kiss behind Isak’s ear. “I want to marathon every episode of this show and mock each other endlessly. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms.”

“That sounds kind of perfect.”

“Then Isak, let’s just do it.”

“Ok.”

Isak wishes he would’ve let it be this simple from the start.

“We should carve our names into this tree,” Even says, turning around to run his hand along its trunk. “Before one of us goes home tonight.”

“One of us,” Isak repeats, raising his eyebrows. “You mean me? I don’t have numbers right now.”

“Right, but you probably have the idol,” Even says. That’s a good sign: it means Elias hasn’t told Even about the clue. “And I know you’re not going to sit around and let yourself be voted out. You have a plan.”

Isak shrugs. “I might.”

“Will I be a casualty of it?”

“You might.”

“Hm. You’re not going to give me anything, are you?”

“I’ll give you another kiss?”

“I’ll trade it for information.”

“Then my lips are sealed.”                   

“Oh, I can change that.” Even gestures for Isak to scoot closer, grinning. He takes Isak’s face in his hands and brings his lips to Isak’s, slowly opening him up.

For his game, Isak knows Even needs to go, but fuck he is going to miss this. He breaks the kiss before he gets too distracted.

“You know,” Even says. “Even though you were trying to bait me with the last vote, I do think we could work together again. At least to take out some of the big threats.”

Isak furrows his eyebrows. “You _are_ the big threat.”

“Right, but how long do you think Eva will be ok with playing with a pair?”

“How long will you be ok with working with Eskild and Linn as a pair?”

Even shrugs. “Until I’m presented with a better option.”

Good to know where his loyalty is.

Isak’s not about to commit to anything with Even before this tribal, but he recognizes how dramatically the game could change after it. If things go wrong and Eva goes home, he will need someone else on his side.

And if he decides he doesn’t actually need Even, maybe he can at least get information from him.

“If we both survive this tribal,” Isak says. “I’ll consider it.”

“Ok.” Even stands up: they’ve been here far too long, especially when tribal’s only hours away and there’s still work to do. “Can you at least tell me how crazy tonight’s going to be?”

Isak grins. “I think we’ll have some fun.”

\---

When Isak returns to camp, Elias approaches him and pats his bag.

“I found it,” Elias says. “We’re solid tonight.”

Isak nods and slaps hands with him. “Did anyone see you?”

“No.”

“Good. I’ll tell Jonas and Eva we’re voting for Eskild. And you’ve seen how loyal we are to each other, right? Once you make this play for us, we’ve got your back to the end.”

“I’ve wanted to play with people like that from the beginning.”

Isak almost feels bad for Elias, but it’s his own fault for believing this bullshit.

Since Isak doesn’t want to be seen alone with Elias, he leaves to find Jonas and Eva and inform them of the plan.

“Ok, but why Eskild?” Jonas asks.

“If we go to rocks, whoever we vote for becomes safe. He’s not really a threat.”

“Oh my God, I feel like I’m going to be sick,” Eva says. “I don’t want to leave my fate up to a rock.”

“It’s either that or get voted out,” Isak says. “Besides, Even thinks I have an idol. They’re going to vote for you, not me. You’ll probably be safe.”

“Unless Elias has been playing you,” Eva says.

“What would he even gain from that?” Isak asks.

“The idol?” Jonas offers and well, fair enough.

“I’m not saying it’s a foolproof plan,” Isak says. “But it’s the only one we’ve got, so let’s go in there with some confidence. Psych them out a bit.”

“Ok, you’re right,” Eva says. “I will act as though I’m not walking to our inevitable doom.”

“That’s the spirit.”

\---

Eva’s spirits are lifted moments into tribal.

“Please welcome the first member of our jury,” Mutta says once everyone’s sitting down. “Noora.”

As she walks in, completely done-up with red lipstick to complete her look, there’s a chorus of _damn_ ’s and wolf-whistles. Eva just smiles and shoots a wink at her, which Noora returns with a wave.

“Eva, how does it feel to see Noora?” Mutta asks.

“I wish she was sitting on this side,” Eva says. “But good, really fucking good. I mean, look at her.”

“It’s inspired me, actually,” Even says.

“Oh,” Mutta says, raising his eyebrows. “Even, I guess you’re talking now. Go on.”

“Now I’m even more motivated to get Isak out,” Even says. “Imagining him freshly showered and shaved—I can’t wait to see it.”

“Even once told me I had no idea what he could do with access to hair gel,” Isak says. “So, the feeling’s mutual.”

“And what, exactly, is the feeling?” Mutta says. “I can’t be the only one a bit perplexed by your relationship.”

“Oh, they’re in love, Mutta!” Eskild says with a long-suffering sigh. “It’s exhausting, so it’s time for one of them to leave.”

“Is that who it’s down to tonight?” Mutta asks. “Isak or Even? Because that’s felt like the case every tribal, but they’re both still here.”

“It’s not exactly that,” Elias says, and Isak gets nervous. The less Elias talks, the better. “It’s just Isak tonight. Their side doesn’t have the numbers.”

“But the game flipped last tribal,” Mutta says. “Who’s to say it won’t flip again?”

“No one’s going to leave the majority for an alliance that tight-knit,” Vilde says, and Isak prays Elias doesn’t have an epiphany.

“That’s a good point,” Mutta says. “Jonas, what’s your pitch to the other side?”

“I guess I’d ask people to consider their position in their alliance,” Jonas says. “Even, Linn, and Eskild are running things on that side. Vilde and Elias don’t have to stay with us if they flip, but they’ll at least disrupt the power.”

“So, you’re not necessarily looking for another alliance member,” Mutta says. “Just someone to change the script.”

“Yeah. Exactly.”

Which is not what Isak promised Elias before tribal, fucking hell. Isak needs everyone to stop talking and to get on with the vote, so that’s what he says.

“Nothing’s going to change here,” Isak says. “Everyone knows what they’re going to do, so let’s do it.”

“Thought you’d want more time to bargain with people,” Even says.

“Do you need more time?”

“No.”

“Then I’m good too.”

“Well, since you both apparently host this show,” Mutta says. “I guess it’s time to vote. Isak, since you’re so eager, you can go first.”

After he and Elias have both voted, Isak checks in with him with a glance. Elias nods in response, and maybe this will be ok after all.

“If anyone has the immunity idol and would like to play it,” Mutta says once the voting is over. “Now would be the time to do so.”

“Mutta?” Elias says, standing up and pulling the idol out of his bag. “I don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, but I’m going to be safe.”

“What the fuck?” Even says, practically gaping after him. Isak grins. “How long have you had that?”

“Couple hours?” Elias shrugs.

“I can confirm this is a hidden immunity idol,” Mutta says. “No votes cast against Elias will count.”

“Why would you even play it?” Even asks once Elias returns to his seat. “No one was voting for you tonight.”

“Yeah, it’s not about that.”

Isak watches Even’s face change as he understands what’s happened. “It’s a tie,” Even says. “Why would you tie the vote? We could’ve gotten him out.”

Wait. Him?

They voted for Isak, not Eva. They thought he’d play his idol for her, because he’d expect them to believe he’d play it for himself.

The realization hits Eva a moment later. “Fuck,” she says. “ _Fuck_ , I don’t want to do this.”

“I did it for Sana,” Elias says to Even.

“You’re playing for revenge. You’re not playing smart.”

“If it gets you out? It’s the best move this whole game.”

“Hey, can I at least read the vote before you all discuss it?” Mutta says. As they murmur apologies, he says, “Good thing we have editors.”

Still, the vote plays out as expected: four for Eskild, and four for Isak.

Before the revote, Elias says to Vilde, “You might want to flip with me if you don’t want to go to rocks.”

She doesn’t respond, but the revote has the exact same result.

“Ok, we have a deadlock,” Mutta says. “Per the rules of Survivor, you now have to come to a unanimous decision about whether to vote off Isak or Eskild. If you can’t do that, Isak and Eskild become safe, and everyone else without immunity goes to rocks.”

“There’s no way I’m agreeing to Isak leaving,” Jonas says.

Eskild turns to Linn, who’s quiet. “Linn!”

“I don’t have the immunity necklace,” Linn says. “I don’t know. I don’t want to go to rocks, and which one of us has a better shot at winning?”

“Me!” Eskild says. “Are you going to charm the jury?”

“I’ll follow your lead on this, Linn,” Vilde says.

“Me too,” Even says. “I don’t want to give in, but we’re about to put all three of us in danger. Eva’s the only one at risk on the other side.”

Linn’s quiet, and it’s unbearable.

“Oh, so now you need me to move things along?” Mutta says. “Linn, what’s your decision? Are you ok with Eskild leaving?”

Slowly, she shakes her head.

“No. He came on this show for me. He’s been with me through everything. I can’t do this to him. I’m sorry.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Eskild says.

“Then don’t expect anything else.”

“Ok, then we’re going to rocks,” Mutta says, standing up to pass them out. “Jonas, Elias, Isak, and Eskild are safe. Everyone else gets a rock: black rock stays, white rock goes home. Don’t reveal your colour until I say so.”

Eva’s holding onto hers so tight her nails are digging into her palm. Across from her, Noora’s clenching her hands the same way.

“Three, two, one…reveal.”

Isak watches Eva open her hand, revealing a black rock. He exhales as she does.

It takes him a second to realize who drew the white rock, because their response is muted.

“I guess it’s me.”

Linn stands up, gathering her bag and her torch. And that is kind of fucking perfect. It certainly frees Even up to make some moves with Isak.

Eskild hugs her goodbye, mumbling apologies, and then Linn leaves in silence.

“Wow,” Mutta says once she’s gone. “Tonight, we’ve seen how powerful loyalty is in a Blood vs. Water season.”

That’s true, and as Isak realizes that he and Jonas are the last remaining pair, he also realizes how dangerous that is.

As Linn would know, loyalty can sink your game.


	28. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak contemplates the consequences of loyalty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for a long wait for a short chapter, but we're setting up for some fun stuff. :) Enjoy!
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

Isak expected the excitement to continue after tribal, but that’s not exactly what happens.

Everyone thinks it’s shitty that a strategic player like Linn left because she drew the odd rock. There’s talk of _she didn’t deserve to go out like that_ and _it’s not really fair_ and _she could have won this whole game._

Isak disagrees. He outplayed her by letting it go to rocks. She could have voted Eskild out—hell, she could have convinced Jonas to vote Isak out if she was as good as everyone’s claiming. Or, she could have stopped Isak from getting Elias in the first place. She could have found the idol herself.

This was his play, it was a damn good one, and he wants credit for it if he gets to the end. He rants about as much to Eva, who frowns in response.

“Yeah, but that could have been me,” Eva says. “Maybe don’t flaunt your brilliance when you threw one of your alliance members under the bus.”

“One of us was always going to be at risk,” Isak says. “You knew that. You agreed to that.”

“Awfully convenient that it was me though, wasn’t it?”

“I thought it would be me. I swear.”

Eva shakes her head. “Look, I get that we didn’t have a lot of options, and I’m really fucking grateful it played out the way it did. But, it would be nice if our next plan actually protected me and not just you and Jonas.”

“We have the numbers now. We can do whatever we want next vote.”

“Right, and nothing’s ever gone wrong when we had the numbers.”

When Noora was voted out, Eva was heated after tribal, but had calmed down by morning. Remembering this, Isak decides to let the conversation go for now. There will be plenty of time to plot tomorrow. “I’m really sorry you were vulnerable tonight, Eva. That’s not how I wanted it to play out.”

Eva shrugs. “Whatever. I guess that’s the game.”

As everyone moves into the shelter for the night, Isak approaches Even. “I’ll hold you tonight,” he says. “Comfort you now that your game is in shambles.”

Even raises his eyebrows. “My game’s still intact. It just looks different now.”

“Of course.”

Even gestures for the two of them to move away from the shelter, and Isak follows. “How the hell did you get Elias?” Even asks, quiet.

“I offered him something.”

“I offered him final two.”

“No, you were using him to get yourself to final two. I gave him the idol, and I gave him the opportunity to make a move. I made him feel like he was playing his own game instead of yours." 

“Right, but he just played your game instead.”

Isak shrugs, smirks. “Guess I was more convincing than you.”

And Even smiles, just the hint of one. Isak’s sure he can draw the rest of it out. “You’re good.”

“Thanks.”

“I thought that meant I had to take you out.”

“But?”

“But. Maybe it means you’re the only way I get to the end.”

Isak tilts his head, waiting for an explanation Even’s not eager to give without some encouragement from him. “I meant what I said before tribal. That I’d consider working together again.”

“If?”

“Why do you assume there’s an if?”

“Because neither of us are stupid?”

“Ok then, if. If you can actually convince me that by teaming up, we can make it to the end together.”

“We can shield each other,” Even says. “If we keep playing this back-and-forth game, we’ll leave one after the other. But if we tone down our rivalry, we’ll give everyone else the chance to step into the spotlight as big players. As long as we can divert the target to someone else each tribal, we can keep each other safe.”

“But who are people going to buy as big targets?” Isak asks. “Now that Linn’s gone.”

“Eva’s smart and social. Jonas has won two immunity challenges in a row.”

“So, both people on my side.”

“Let me finish. Without Linn, Eskild’s a wildcard, and he’s keen to make big moves. Vilde’s quiet, but she’s strong in competitions, and she always knows what’s going on. Elias has proved he’ll flip without much convincing. With the right spin, everyone’s a threat.”

“Especially us.”

“Which is why we need to have each other’s backs.”

The question, as always, is whether or not Isak can trust this. Isak suspects Even’s somewhat desperate right now: he was closest to Linn and Elias in his alliance, and he’s lost both of them. He might genuinely need Isak right now, and he makes good points.

So, maybe he can trust Even, but then Isak has to consider if it’s more beneficial to work with him or stick with his alliance of Jonas, Eva, and now Elias. Maybe he can do both, but not like he did before. He’s not going to make the mistake of telling either side he’s playing the other one. 

He’s just going to do it.

“Let me sleep on it,” Isak says, both because he should and because he wants Even to sweat a bit.

“Of course,” Even says. “See how the game changes in the morning. I’ll bet you the prize money that I’m going to win—”

“—You fucking wish—”

“I bet you’ll realize you need to work with me again.”

When they do go to sleep, Isak holds Even as promised. And it’s nice, that he gets to be the one to twirl Even’s hair around his fingers, place kisses on the back of the neck, listen to Even’s content hum as he presses his body against Isak’s.

While Isak’s undecided as to whether he wants to work with Even again, he does think that it would be really fucking fun. 

\---

As Even predicted, the game changes in the morning.

Isak sees it right away. He doesn’t get a chance to have another conversation with Eva, because Vilde invites her for a swim while Isak still has Even tangled up in his arms. It’s not long before Eskild joins them.

When Even wakes up and takes in the scene, he says, “I’m so fucked.”

He goes to break it up, leaving Isak alone in the shelter with Jonas and Elias. “What do you think Eva’s doing?” Jonas asks.

“I don’t know,” Isak says. “She was kind of pissed last night.”

“Pissed enough to start a new alliance?”

Isak hesitates. He doesn’t want to make Jonas paranoid because he doesn’t want to make Jonas talk. He’s always nervous when Jonas talks. “She trusts Even less than anyone here. She’s not going to work with him.”

But Isak knows that Even doesn’t need to be part of that alliance. Eva, Vilde, and Eskild could easily control the vote knowing that Even and Elias won’t vote together. They’ll probably assume Isak and Even wouldn’t vote together, either.

“Then she’ll be down to get rid of him next tribal?” Elias says. “For real this time?”

“Definitely,” Isak says.

“Cool. Then it’s an easy vote.”

Yeah. Famous last words.

Elias leaves to scrounge up some food for breakfast. “Weird how we’re the last pair left,” Jonas says once he’s gone.

“Yeah.”

“You think Eva’s nervous about that?”

Definitely. “Maybe.”

“She shouldn’t be. We’ll take her to final three.”

The problem is that Eva has very little interest in final three. She wants to win, and she knows there’s no way in hell Isak or Jonas would take her to final two over taking each other.

Actually, she can’t be the only one who’s realized that. Elias probably has. Even definitely has. And, they’ve become even bigger targets to Vilde and Eskild than they already were.

Isak’s a strategic threat who holds his own in competitions. As Even pointed out last night, Jonas is going on an immunity run. And, they have each other’s backs. No one, not even Eva, is going to let them both survive.

And who are they going to target first? Jonas’s competition wins are a threat, but Isak has that potential as well, and he’s just better at the game.

Isak’s stomach churns. They definitely don’t have an easy tribal ahead with the numbers—fuck, he’s not naïve, and he thinks he has a decision to make.

He could stay loyal and let tribal play out as it will. He’ll probably get voted out, but even if Jonas does, Isak will have lost an ally in Eva and a potential one in Even. He’ll be alone, and unless he gets some fucking luck on his side, he’ll leave next.

Or, he can team up with Even, reaffirm his alliance with Eva, and ensure he has people on his side when he loses his partner.

Fuck.

“We’ll have to talk to Eva when she gets back,” Jonas says. “Not question her about whatever conversation she’s having now. Just reassure her that we’ve got her back.”

“Yeah.”

At Isak’s muted response, Jonas raises his eyebrows. “You stressed about Even leaving?”

“A little,” Isak lies. Whatever happens this tribal, Isak suspects Even will be safe. “I know it’s good for my game to get him out, but I’ll miss him.”

“Yeah, I get that. It’s good you have him out here.”

And though Isak knows Jonas didn’t intend it this way, it’s almost like he’s giving Isak permission.

\---

“How many kisses before you tell me what you talked about in the ocean?”

Even takes a moment to answer because his lips are busy on Isak’s neck. When he grazes Isak’s skin with his teeth, Isak moans and braces himself against the tree.

“What do I have to do to get you to stop thinking game? This is some of my best work, Isak." 

“Tell me what you said in the ocean.”

Even rolls his eyes and backs off Isak, but fuck, that’s not what Isak wants either. He wraps his arms around Even’s waist, pulling them back together. Isak smiles, tilts his head. “Please, Even?”

“Don’t bat your eyelashes at me.”

“This is just how my face works.”

“Charmer.” Even gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “I don’t need to tell you what we talked about. You’re smart enough to figure it out.”

Isak sighs. “I’m hoping I’m wrong.”

“You know I don’t want to vote you out, right? I told you last night: if you go, I’m next. I’ll work with you. Just tell me the play.”

“Everyone’s gunning for me. I have to give them another target from my side.”

“It might be hard to turn people like Vilde against Eva now—”

“I’m not talking about Eva. I’m talking about Jonas.”

Even takes a step back, and Isak realizes he surprised him. “You’d do that?” Even asks.

“As long as he’s in this game, I’m the biggest threat.” At Even’s silence, he adds, “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Absolutely. Just didn’t think you’d be game for that.”

Neither did Isak. And it’s not that he’s not appreciative of Jonas, or even that he _wants_ him out of the game, but he doesn’t need him in it anymore. If anything, Jonas has become a liability. Neither of them will win if they stay in the game together, but Isak might if he cuts Jonas loose now and relies on his new allies instead.

It’s best for both of them. He hopes Jonas will see it that way.

“Do you think it’s bad idea?”

“No. I think it’s fucking brilliant. Once Jonas is gone, your game is entirely yours. You’ll have options you don’t have now.”

“We’ll have options,” Isak corrects. “Because if I do this, I need to be totally in with you. I need someone to work with.”

“What about Eva?”

“She’s already turned on me. I’ll turn on her.” Isak shrugs, hoping Even doesn’t catch the lie. He’s counting on getting Eva back once Jonas is gone: he still trusts her more than Even, and he’d rather sit next to her in final two.

“Then I’m game, Isak. You know I’m game.”

“Good. Let’s play.”


	29. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak considers what he's leaving in plotting against Jonas.

According to Survivor experts, Isak’s plan is what is known as a dick move.

He knows that, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good one, and that’s what he chooses to focus on. Voting Jonas out will serve his game. Hell, it might even save it.

But no one wants to work with a dick, and that’s where Isak needs to be careful. He can’t exactly tell everyone that he wants to betray his best friend and expect them to trust him going forward.

The play isn’t to get all the numbers on his side. It’s to get the right people.

Isak knows he won’t get Elias on board: he cares too much about loyalty to support this kind of betrayal. For the others, though, he needs Even’s insight. “Where do Eskild and Vilde stand?” he asks. He’s alone with Even in the shelter as the rest of the tribe is out for walks and swims. “Would they even want to vote Jonas out over me?”

“Eskild blames you for Linn leaving,” Even says. “If he knows about this plan, he’ll go straight to Jonas to make sure he betrays you before you betray him.”

Jonas won’t betray Isak, though. After the rock draw, Isak knows that absolutely. “And Vilde?”

“She’s following Eskild’s lead for now. Playing under-the-radar.”

That leaves Eva, which is tricky. She’s technically aligned with Jonas, and she seems to sincerely like him, but Isak doesn’t think their relationship compares to the one he’s built with her. Though she’s turning on him now, it’s only because she believes he’ll always prioritize Jonas over her—he hopes, anyway.

He’ll tell her, point blank, that’s not the case. He’ll get rid of Jonas to go to the end with her.

“Then I’ll get Eva,” Isak says. “That’s all I can do.”

“We’ll still only be three,” Even says.

“Doesn’t matter. Eskild and Vilde will vote for me, Elias and Jonas will vote for you, and the three of us will vote for Jonas. We have majority.”

Even raises his eyebrows. “Or, you have another option.”

“What’s that?”

“Convince me and Eva you’re voting out Jonas so we won’t vote for you. That leaves two votes against you, two against Jonas, and then you’ll join Jonas and Elias to vote out…me? Or Eva? But most likely me.”

Isak laughs because that actually would’ve been a decent plan. It could still be, but he’s enjoying strategizing with Even—being with him, really—too much right now to consider letting him go.

Jonas wouldn’t come up with that kind of plan. He needs Even’s brain, and he needs it on his side.

And with Even, he can lean in close, let their foreheads touch, smile as he whispers, “Don’t you trust me?”

“Oh, baby. Not even a little bit.”

“No?”

“No. You are about to stab your best friend in the back. That’s cold.”

Even’s trailing his fingers along Isak’s collarbone, and that’s warm. “Then why are you going along with it?”

“I told you. I’m working with you because I need to. You’re the only person in this game people might hate more than they hate me.”

They’re the villains, Isak realizes. He’d rather be that than on the jury.

“How romantic.”

Even hums. “It’s a rather complicated affair.”

When they kiss, the truth of their relationship actually feels pretty simple. They like each other, enough that they’re willing to try with each other.

Isak thinks he's ready to embrace that.

\---

Isak decides to wait until after the immunity challenge to talk to Eva. If Jonas wins, he’ll need a new plan, and he won’t want people talking about his original one.

The challenge is in the ocean. They’re balancing on triangular platforms with their feet perched on narrow footholds. At regular intervals, Mutta instructs them to move up the platform.

It’s a common challenge with consistent results: men often struggle in it because their feet are too big for the footholds. It means this could break Jonas’s immunity streak, but also that it’s not Isak’s challenge to win.

In their first transition from one foothold to the next, Even falls, and Isak quickly follows. Jonas survives it, but he’s wobbly, as is Eva. Vilde, Eskild, and Elias are solid.

“Isak and Even are first out of the challenge,” Mutta announces as they swim over to him. “Didn’t even last ten minutes! No shot at immunity. No guarantee of safety. Nothing to give them confidence going into tribal tonight.”

Isak glares at Mutta once he’s out of the water, and Mutta offers his charming-television-host smile in return. He wants to tell Mutta that it doesn’t compete with Even’s.

“Jonas,” Mutta says. “You’ve won two immunities in a row. Care to make it a hat trick?”

“I’m fighting for it,” Jonas says. “I’m always fighting for it.”

“I’m sure people are fighting against you, too,” Mutta says. Isak imagines the edit cutting to a close-up on his face.

“Not against him,” Vilde says. “Just for ourselves.”

“Might be a bad time to tell you that you’re playing Survivor,” Mutta says. “The entire game is to fight against others.”

He instructs them to move up again, and Eva falls in. Within less than a minute, Eskild’s in the water too. It’s only Vilde, Jonas, and Elias making the final transition to the top of the platform.

And Isak’s nervous.

Elias falls during the transition, leaving Vilde and Jonas balancing on top of the platform. This, Isak realizes, is where he should cheer, support his best friend, reaffirm that he can do anything.

He can do anything, absolutely. Isak just doesn’t want him to believe that right now.

Vilde’s foot slips, and everything goes in slow-motion: she catches herself, but can’t quite centre herself. As Jonas watches her stumble, he loses focus, loses balance, and loses the competition.

“Vilde wins individual immunity!”

It’s time for Isak to begin his betrayal.

\---

Immediately after the challenge, Jonas gathers Isak, Elias, and Eva to confirm they’re all voting for Even. When Elias breaks away from them, Jonas turns to Eva and says, “Hey, it really fucking sucks that you had to draw a rock. We’re not going to put you in that position again.”

“It’s whatever,” Eva says, but Isak catches the way she’s scanning the beach for someone else to talk to. “Someone had to be at risk.”

“Still, I’m sorry. You know that we’ve got your back until final three,” Jonas says. “We’ll do whatever we have to in order to keep you around.”

“Final three. Sounds great,” Eva says, and as a friend, Isak wishes he could take the shovel out of Jonas’s hands to stop him from digging his own fucking grave. As a player, however, this is exactly the ammo Isak needs. “Alright, if tonight’s settled, I’m going for a walk. I’ll fill up the water bottles on the way.”

Directly to Vilde, Isak’s sure of it. “I’ll come with you,” he says.

Eva frowns, surprised. “No offence, but I kind of wanted some alone time?”

“Then I’ll go to the well with you, but bring the water bottles back so you can be alone.” _A totally normal thing to offer_ , Isak thinks. _Not suspicious at all._

Somehow, Eva catches his subtle hint. “Ok? Sure.”

On their walk, Isak considers his approach. He doesn’t want Eva to know that he suspects she’s turning on their alliance: she’ll believe he’s making this move out of paranoia, and the distrust will put a strain on their relationship moving forward. He also doesn’t want her to think that Even’s anything more than a vote to him. She needs to believe he’s making this move solely because it’s the only one that gets the two of them to the end.

So, once they reach the well, he opens with, “I want to go to final two with you.”

Eva studies him. “Not with your partner?”

“We’ll never make final two together, and if we try to, we’ll both lose.” Isak decides to add an emotional appeal. “Plus, I want to sit next to the person I actually played with, someone I respect in the game. That’s not Jonas.”

“Ok, but is it Even?”

Isak shakes his head. “Come on. We’ve been together since we turned against Even. I’ve always been on your side. And I know I’ve fucked up in how I’ve gone about it, but I’ve always tried to have your back.”

Eva stands up a little straighter, locks eyes with Isak. “Are you telling me this because Jonas promised me final three?” she asks. “And you’re worried I might want more than that?”

“Of course you want more than that,” Isak says. “So yeah, kind of. He may have promised you final three, but I’m promising you final two—"

“If we get to final three, I have a feeling you’ll change your mind about who you want sitting beside you. And Jonas will definitely take you, so. What are my options here, Isak?”

“Jonas isn’t going to make final three.”

“What?”

“He’s not going to make final three because I want to vote him out tonight.”

Eva blinks at him, waits for a clarification or correction. When it doesn’t come, she asks, “You’re serious?”

“Completely.” Over the course of their conversation, Isak’s realized Eva’s smart enough to know exactly why he’s making this move, and she’ll be less inclined to go along with it if she believes he’s lying. He just needs to be direct. “I know what’s going on. I know I’m the target tonight.”

“You’re the target every night.”

“Maybe, but this is when you can actually get me out. And if that’s what you choose to do, that’s fine, but I don’t think it’s the best move for your game. Who do you think goes home after me, Eva? After Even? Who’s the other big threat?”

“You think it’s me?”

“You know it’s you.” Isak catches her smile. She’s always been here to play. “We also need to be practical. Who’s to say Jonas won’t win the next immunity challenge like he won the first two? You don’t always get an open target like this.”

“But, Isak. He’s your best friend.”

“And you’re my best ally. That wins in Survivor.”

They fill the water bottles in silence before Eva speaks again. “I do want to go the end with you,” she says. “Because I think I could kick your ass.”

Isak smiles. “Bring it on.”

“It won’t happen if Jonas stays.”

“No.”

“Do we even have the votes to get him out?”

“If Vilde and Eskild are voting for me?” Isak asks, and Eva nods in confirmation. “And Elias and Jonas are voting for Even, we only need one more vote to have majority.”

“Oh, God. Even.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t trust him for shit.”

“Neither do I, but I know that he likes me and doesn’t like Jonas.” So, he’s not being entirely honest and admitting he talked to Even first. Isak wants Eva to think he’s forming this plan with her. “That could be enough to sway him. Plus, it’s a nice move for his resume in the end.”

“Please tell me we’re not letting Even anywhere close to the end.”

“Fuck no. He’ll go next, but if Jonas doesn’t leave tonight, I will. You need me to get Even out. I think you need me to get to the end.”

When Eva doesn’t argue, Isak relaxes. “This is fucking massive.”

“I know.”

“And you’re really ok with it? Oh my God, I could never do this to Noora. I’m sick even thinking about it.”

Isak just nods. The truth is a bit too personal for the camera.

Out of everything he’s done to Jonas, this is what he feels least guilty about.

\---

Eva agrees to the plan, and Isak confirms it with Even. When he returns from his conversations, Jonas approaches him.

“What’s going on?”

Isak shrugs. “Nothing.”

“So the plan hasn’t changed?”

“No?”

“We’re still voting Even?”

“Yeah? Why, what have you heard?”

Jonas rolls his eyes, and Isak realizes his mistake. He is a good liar, a fucking great one, but not to Jonas. He’s actually kind of terrified of all the truths Jonas knows, but is kind enough not to mention. “You’re scrambling. That thing with Eva? What the fuck was that?”

“I just wanted to talk to her. I was worried about Vilde and Eskild getting to her.”

“Then why not make me part of the conversation? We’re all in the same alliance.”

“Right, but she trusts me more.”

“Ok, then why do you keep talking to Even?”

Isak rolls his eyes. “We’re not _talking_ when we disappear. You know that.”

“No, you are. You were talking in the shelter earlier. I saw you from the water.”

“Because we like each other? Why the fuck are you interrogating me?”

“Why aren’t you answering my questions?”

Isak’s heart is pounding. And that’s not uncommon around Jonas, but this. This feels really fucking different.  

When he meets Jonas’s gaze, he knows, and he gives up. “You know why.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re coming after me?”

“It’s the only way I survive.”

“What the fuck?”

It is a fair question, but Isak believes his rationale is fair too. “Well, now you know. I’m coming after you, so you should come after me.”

“Isak—”

“I’m serious. That’s how you play Survivor. Vote me out before I vote you out.”

“Fuck, Isak. I can’t do that.”

“Yeah, I know. I can, though. That’s why I need to be the one who stays in the game. I have the skin for it.”

That silences Jonas for a moment.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”

“Play if you want to play. I’ll forgive for however you slander me like I hope you’ll forgive me. Or, consider that our best option is for me to play the rest of this game for both of us.”

“Shit, Isak. I just need some space. I don’t know.”

Jonas leaves, even though the conversation isn’t over. Jonas leaves, even though Isak still needs his reassurance. Jonas leaves, for the first time ever.

It’s fucking ridiculous. Isak basically admitted to plotting against him: _of course_ he left. He doesn’t regret the move, or even feel that guilty. It’s smart, it’s strategic, and it’s the best play. After some time to cool off, he sincerely believes that Jonas will forgive him. He also knows that Jonas is honest when he says that he won’t retaliate against Isak.

It’s just watching Jonas leave, and what that makes him understand.

His relationship with Even means that his relationship with Jonas can’t be the same. They’ll always be friends, but in some ways, he’ll have to move on. He can’t claim Jonas as the most significant person in his life anymore. He can’t continue to live in this safe, dependent, fucking delusional fantasy he’s built for himself. Knowing his feelings would always remain unrequited, Isak controlled exactly how much power he gave Jonas to hurt him.

Even, though. Even has way too much fucking power here. Isak was wrong about their kiss earlier: it’s not simple. They like each other, yes, and they’re going to try, yes, but what if they get everything really fucking wrong? What if Even isn’t as forgiving as Jonas, as patient, as generous, and what if he leaves? And fuck, Isak knows he isn’t any of those things. He could hurt Even too, and he could hurt him badly. God, what if they stop being concerned with how much power they have to hurt each other? What if they begin to see it as an advantage instead?

What if Isak ends up even lonelier than he was before?

Isak is really fucking tired, he’s really fucking hungry, and suddenly, he’s also really fucking scared. He goes to the tree where he and Even like to kiss.

And, he cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are going to deal with some Emotions next chapter. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Thanks as always for all the support. :)


	30. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak makes a choice in his personal life, and Eva makes a choice in the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't want to leave you with the cliffhanger for too long. Enjoy! :)
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com)

When Isak cried as a child, he was expected to have an explanation.

He’d tell his dad what upset him. If his dad decided it wasn’t a big deal, or if he could fix it, Isak was expected to stop crying. If it was a big deal, and if there wasn’t a solution, Isak’s dad would leave him alone to cry.

The worst, though, was when Isak couldn’t articulate why he was crying. He just knew he was feeling too much, and it all felt _bad_ , and he couldn’t do anything but cry. His dad couldn’t analyze or fix Isak’s situation if he didn’t know what it was, and that made him angry.

_Scared,_ Isak thinks now. Anger comes from fear, and to his dad, there was no worse fate than Isak turning out like his mom.

Jesus. His dad’s selfishness, and narcissism, and fucking cowardice kind of astound Isak, now that he knows enough to name them. Isak pities himself, then checks himself. He doesn’t want to be anything like that.

At first, Isak’s tears were camera-ready, the kind that would look intriguing on a promo but wouldn’t make the audience uncomfortable. But fuck, without rest, without nourishment, without fucking video games to distract him, everything about his shit childhood and shit relationships and shit life is surfacing now. He can only believe he has a shit personality to complete the set.

And Jonas, Jonas is the only thing in his life that hasn’t been shit. How does he walk away from that? How the fuck does he trust someone else? Is it even fair to make someone else deal with his selfishness, his narcissism, his cowardice? Maybe he is, as he’s always kind of suspected, meant to be alone.

He’s alone right now, and it’s ok. He’s sobbing, and it’s shaking his entire body, but it’s ok. There’s no one to demand an explanation for his tears, no one to get frustrated by them, no one to burden with them, and that’s more than ok. That’s a fucking relief.

He’s not hurting anyone else, and he’s not letting anyone else hurt him.

“Isak?”

Isak closes his eyes because if he looks, if he sees those fucking blue eyes, he’s just going to crumble.

“I’m ok.”

“Ok. I believe you, but. Maybe we could try for more than ok.”

It’s the softness in Even’s voice, the gentleness from someone he knows can be cunning, that opens up something else in Isak, lets a new kind of cry loose.

He’s a fucking mess.

“Isak, please. Let me help you right now.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know.”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying anymore.”

“You don’t have to.”

Isak risks opening his eyes, and there are those blue eyes, right here with him. There’s Even, and Isak’s scared by how comforted, how relieved he is at the sight. How the fuck can he trust him so much?

Kneeling down in the sand, Even takes Isak’s face in his hands, brushes Isak’s tears away with his thumb. “However you need to be held, I’ll hold you. Whatever you need to feel, I’ll feel with it you,” he says. “I’ve got you.”

It’s so hard not believe him. Isak doesn’t have that kind of fight in him anymore.

He wraps his arm around Even’s shoulders, and Even wraps his arm around Isak’s back. He doesn’t know if he’s pushing himself into Even or if Even’s pulling him in, but it doesn’t really matter now. They’re together, as close as they can be.

Isak cries, and Even holds him.

When Isak’s calmed down, they once again end up side-by-side, under the tree. This time, Even’s arm is around Isak’s shoulders, and he’s lazily running his fingers through Isak’s limp hair.

“How’d you know I was here?” Isak asks.

“Well, when the most beautiful boy in the world cries, a piece of my heart leaves my body and points me to him.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Ok. A producer told me you were crying. And I leapt into action, sprinting towards you—”

“I fucking hate you.”

“I did run, though. I was worried.”

“About me?”

“Yeah, Isak. Of course.”

It’s just a new concept.

Knowing a producer choreographed this should make the moment feel artificial, but Isak’s never been so honest as to cry in someone’s arms. And, he stayed, Even stayed with him through his feelings. He’s even sticking around for the aftermath.

Actually, nothing’s ever felt as real is this.

“Is this about Jonas?” Even asks. “It doesn’t have to be about anything, but—”

“No, it is and it isn’t. It’s mostly just how fucked everything is, you know?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“But Jonas, I don’t know how to leave him.”

“Who says you have to?”

“Not as a friend, but as—who I wanted him to be. If that makes sense.”

Even’s hand stops moving through Isak’s hair. “Hm. Yeah. I am probably going to regret what I’m about to say, but if you’re always going to love someone else—”

“ _No._ No, that’s just it. I’m starting to—I think I’m maybe falling in love with you?”

Isak thought he’d seen Even’s best smile, but Even proves him wrong. “Really. Do say more about that.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “You’re annoying, but I like being annoyed by you? I just always want to be with you, and you’re so—thank you, for being with me right now. Just thank you.”

“Of course.”

“But you keep doing that,” Isak says. “Of course you’d be worried about me, of course you’d be there for me, like all of this is given. I don’t get this, I don’t have people who like me like this.”

“Love.”

“What?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you too.”

It kind of hits Isak, then. There are benefits to unrequited love, namely the security of it. Actually being in love with someone who loves him back, though, that’s brand new, and it’s terrifying, but if it’s this? If it’s having someone who will hold you as you feel everything you need to feel? If it’s having someone who can make you laugh after you’ve been sobbing? If it’s having a true partner in everything, the strongest alliance possible?

Maybe that’s worth pursuing.

“Ok,” Isak says. “Ok.”

“You’re ok with me falling in love with you?”

“Yeah. Pretty generous of me, right?”

“You’re practically a saint.” Even kisses the top of his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to ask, but Jonas? Do I have to worry about anything there?”

Isak shakes his head. “No. I’m moving on.”

“Ok. That’s ok with me.”

“Oh yeah? I’m shocked.”

“Mhm.”

“I’m sorry about…all of this.”

Isak gestures to himself, and now it’s Even’s turn to shake his head. “Isak, I have spent a lot of time and money in therapy learning not to apologize for my feelings,” he says. “I’m not about to let you do it. Besides, being out here really fucks with you. It would break anyone.”

“Not you, though. You’re not affected by anything.”

“Nah. I’m just a really good liar.”

Isak looks up at him, determined now. He runs his thumb along Even’s cheek for a change. “Tell me, ok? When it gets to you, tell me, and I’ll help you through it.”

“Knew it.”

“What?”

Even pokes his chest. “Marshmallow heart. You have one too.”

He’s right, and Isak might do well to start embracing that part of himself. He’s sure Even will inspire him to.

After the game ends, of course.

“I have to tell you something,” Isak says.

“Hm, it’s a good thing I love a dramatic confession.”

“Jonas knows I’m voting for him tonight.”

Even’s eyebrows shoot up. “Wait, really?”

Isak nods. “He figured it out. I couldn’t get away with lying to him, so I confessed.”

“…And he was totally cool with it?”

“Well.”

“Oh.”

“Look, it’ll be fine. I told him to fight if he wants to stay in the game, but it’s not like he’s going to vote me out.”

“No, probably not, but you’re not the only person he could shift the target to.”

Isak furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mea—oh, _fuck_.”

“Yeah.”

“He’ll come after you.”

“I think so.”

“What could he even do, though? Vilde and Eskild aren’t going to turn on you, right? Not when they still think you’re a number for them. He’d have to get Eva.”

“Do you think he could?”

He certainly has an argument. As long as Even’s around, Isak’s game is unpredictable, and Eva will never know where his loyalty actually lies. With him gone, they can move forward together as a solid three. Maybe he could even convince Eva that since Isak’s turned on him, he wouldn’t take Isak to final two. Eva’s smart enough to know that she could beat Jonas in the end.

She has to understand that Jonas won’t get her there.

Isak sits up straight and turns towards Even. “We have to save you.”

And Even, the asshole, laughs. “What?” Isak asks. “I’m serious.”

“I know, I know—it’s just, your eyes are red, and you’re covered in sand, but you’re having this superhero moment about coming to my rescue. It’s very cute.”

“Fuck off, I am coming to your rescue. And you’re fucking lucky to have me in your corner.”

“I agree.”

“Because I could go dark, you know. You don’t want me to use my strength against you.”

Even raises his eyebrows. “No?”

“No. I’d destroy you, and I’d do it with a smile on my face.”

Even grins, and Isak just catches the glint of mischief in his eyes before he takes Isak’s arms and pushes him into the sand, pinning him there.

“You’re evil.”

“Hm.”

“But I’ve got tricks too.” Even taps his fingers against Isak’s arms. “Fuck, I really want to fight you in the end.”

“Me too. That’s why I have to save your ass tonight.”

“Thought there might be other reasons you wanted to save my ass.”

“You’re not clever.”

“I’m a little clever.”

Even’s still grinning, hovering over Isak like he’s ready to play—seriously, _fuck him._ “Kiss me.”

“Is that what you want, Isak?”

“ _Yes_.” Even nods, then releases Isak’s arms and backs off him. Isak sits up as Even stands up. “What the fuck?”

“Just giving you more motivation to save me.”

Isak really didn’t need any more convincing. This game belongs to him and Even now.

\---

When Isak and Even return from not-kissing, Jonas and Eva are talking in the shelter.

Isak exchanges a look with Even, who shrugs. “I have no sway with her,” Even says. “You’ve got to work your magic here. Use that winning charm.”

Isak’s not as confident in that as he wants to be, but he’s damn sure going to try.

Even leaves him to _work his magic_. There’s less than an hour until tribal, but Isak doesn’t want to interrupt their conversation. Eva has to believe that he trusts her, no matter who she has conversations with. He watches them, though, and when Eva finally looks up at him, he nods her over with a shrug. Cool, calm, collected, but fucking panicking on the inside. It’s kind of his brand now.

Eva excuses herself from her conversation with Jonas and approaches Isak. Jonas watches her the entire time.

“He’s telling you to vote Even out,” Isak says, and Eva nods. “You know that won’t serve your game.”

“Oh, obviously. Even’s always going to be an easy target. Whenever my name comes up, I’ll offer his instead.”

So, she’s not worried about Isak’s loyalty to him. Isak sighs in relief. “Ok. Just wanted to make sure we were good before tribal.”

“I have a third option here, though.”

“What?”

“He’s promising me bullshit about final two, but if Jonas isn’t turning on you now, he’ll never turn on you. If you’re gone, I don’t have to worry about that.”

Oh. Oh, _fuck_.

“Eva—”

“I think I can beat you in the end. I know I can beat him.”

“How the fuck are you going to get there?”

“He’ll have to work with me, and with you gone, he’s a much smaller target. And if he keeps winning immunities, maybe he’ll give some to me.”

“You don’t know that he’ll work with you. He’s got a loyal partner in Elias now, and Elias is the perfect goat to sit next to in final two. You can’t trust anything Jonas says when he’s scrambling.”

“But you expect me to trust you?”

“Yeah, I do. My entire game has been based on keeping you and I safe. More than Jonas. Way more than Even. And ok, you’re right, Jonas becomes a much smaller target without me. Guess who becomes the biggest target in your alliance, then? With or without Jonas, people are always going to come after me before they come after you.”

Isak’s encouraged by her silence. At least she’s considering what he’s saying. “I don’t know how the fuck this tribal fell on my shoulders. It’s going to change the rest of the game.”

Isak decides to trust in a final plea.

“Just go with who you’d rather play the rest of the game with.”

\---

“At the last vote, we had two alliances that were so committed to their plans, so loyal to one another, that you chose to draw rocks before betraying anyone,” Mutta says. “Is that still the case?”

“No,” Jonas answers.

“That was blunt,” Mutta says. “Care to elaborate?”

“Everyone’s here to play their own game,” Jonas says. “You really can’t trust anyone.”

“He’s talking about me, just so we’re all on the same page,” Isak says. “I’m the Judas here.”

“Or the Ciera,” Even says. “If we want to stick with Survivor references.”

“That would be appreciated, yes,” Mutta says. “Does someone want to fill me in?”

“Me too, please,” Eskild says. “I thought I’d made it very clear that I’d like to be included in all drama.”

“Yeah, fuck it,” Isak says. “I’m not going to win if Jonas is here, so I’m trying to vote him out. He knows, and he’s developed his own plan for tonight. We’ll see who wins.”

On the jury bench, Noora’s jaw drops. Linn looks bored.

“Jonas, anything to add?” Mutta asks.

“No, that pretty much covers it,” Jonas says. “I just want to vote.”

“Wait, but there’s a lot more to parse out here,” Mutta says. “What about your relationship? Aren’t you worried about that?”

Jonas rolls his eyes. “It’s just a fucking game. I’m always going to be friends with Isak.”

Isak smiles. He knew Jonas would reach that conclusion, he’d never have gone through with this otherwise, but still. It’s nice to hear. “Same,” Isak says. “And whoever wins this gets to be obnoxious about it for the rest of time.”

Jonas laughs and yeah, ok. Isak relaxes, until Eskild says, “Wait, I’m sorry. I don’t know _any_ of these plans. I’m offended that no one’s using me in their betrayal.”

Eva leans over and whispers something to him, which Mutta catches. “Eva,” he says. “What’s your role in this?”

“I’m the swing vote tonight,” she says. “There’s three different pairs, and they all want me as their third vote.”

“But it looks like you’re going with Eskild,” Mutta says. “Based on your private conversation.”

Eva shrugs. “Maybe we should vote to find out.”

“Alright, let’s get to it then,” Mutta says. “It is time to vote. You cannot vote for Vilde, but everyone else is fair game. Eskild, you’re up.”

As everyone votes, Isak leans over to Jonas. “Thanks for being chill,” he says. “I am sorry.”

“Depending on how this plays out, I might need your forgiveness too.”

“I can be pretty gracious.”

“Yeah,” Jonas says, then echoes Even’s words from earlier. “You’re a fucking saint.”

They’re laughing, and Isak’s having fun until Mutta returns with the urn. He’s not that worried about Jonas’s plan working, but Eva could outplay both of them.

“If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and you’d like to play it, now would be the time to do so.”

Fuck, amidst all the drama, Isak hadn’t even considered that. He’s relieved when Mutta’s prompt is meant with silence.

“Alright, then I’ll read the votes.”

It’s exactly as Isak expected: two for himself, two for Even, and two for Jonas. The only vote that matters is the seventh one.

“The twelfth person voted out of this game and the third member of our jury is…Jonas.”

It takes Isak a moment to process that it worked, his plan actually _worked_ , but he understands it when he feels Even squeeze his shoulder. They’re both still here, and this game is theirs now.

Isak stands up to hug Jonas. “Sorry,” he says. “Again. I’m sorry.”

“All I’m saying is you better fucking win.”


	31. Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak and Even go on a reward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that Isak's moved past some of his heaviest emotional stuff, there's something delightfully fun about writing this fic. I hope that comes across. :) 
> 
> Reward challenge: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35mGutGM0xM&t=10s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35mGutGM0xM&t=10s)
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

“That was fucked up.”

Isak resists the urge to roll his eyes at Elias. He doesn’t even need to have this conversation: Elias’s opinion of him is irrelevant—unless, Isak reminds himself, he ends up on the jury. It’s not as likely as Isak wants it to be. If everyone sees him as a goat they can beat in the end, he’ll get to the end. He could easily steal Isak’s spot in the final two.

“I’m sorry I went against the plan,” Isak says. “But if Jonas didn’t leave, I would have. He was cool with it, so I hope you can forgive me too. I’d still like to work with you.”

“Why the fuck would I want to? You and Even don’t give a shit about loyalty. You’re perfect for each other.”

 _Yes,_ Isak thinks. _Our pillow talk is plotting our betrayals._ Of course, that’s kind of true, so Isak keeps it to himself.

“I’m just excited for the moment you fuck each other over,” Elias says. “Maybe I’ll make it happen.”

Isak doesn’t feel all that threatened when Elias walks away, but he does have a problem. He was hopeful that he could sway Elias to vote Vilde or Eskild out, even if it meant voting with Even, but he doubts that’s possible now. If he can get himself, Even, and Eva to vote together, which is a big _if_ in itself, they’re only three against Vilde, Eskild, and Elias. No one’s going to risk drawing rocks again.

Isak glances over at Eva, mid-conversation with Vilde and Eskild, and knows that he’s getting ahead of himself. He has to confirm the allies he already has, but it would be nice to present them with a foolproof plan going forward.

When Eva catches Isak’s eye, she excuses herself and walks over to him. “Well?” Isak asks. “All forgiven?”

“Not exactly,” Eva says. “I whispered to Eskild to vote for you, so he assumed I was voting with him.”

“A fair assumption.”

“He didn’t even care that Jonas left. He just wanted to be part of it.”

“And Vilde?”

“I don’t know, she seems annoyed that you’re still around. They are not thrilled with me.”

“Well, I’m really fucking grateful for you,” Isak says, and Eva smiles. “I mean it. Whoever you want out next, we’ll make it work.”

Eva hesitates. “Unless it’s Even, right?”

“You said it yourself before last tribal: he’s always going to be an easy target. We can’t get rid of him while we’re big ones as well.”

“Right, but the whole point of a shield is that you use them to protect yourself when you’re in danger. We’re in danger.”

“Even might be our only way out of it. Who else is going to vote with us?”

“What does it matter if we’re only three? Everyone will go along with voting Even out.”

“Then it’s me and you against Elias, Vilde, and Eskild. We’re fucked in that scenario.”

“We’re fucked in this one too unless we can get a fourth.”

“We can.” At Eva’s raised eyebrows, Isak persists. “Look, maybe there’s an idol for each of us out here, who fucking knows? Or maybe someone else is looking to change their position in the game. We have time before next tribal. We’ll make good use of it.”

“Yeah.” Eva sighs. “Ok. I’m going to talk about makeup or something with Vilde for a bit. Try to make her like me." 

“Godspeed.”

When Eva leaves, Isak joins Even in the shelter. He’s been watching the conversations without participating in them.

“Way to work the crowd,” Isak says, lying down beside him.

Even hums and wraps his arm around Isak, pulling him into his chest. “Ah, I’m afraid my charm has run its course. Everyone sees me as the villain, and now I corrupted you to vote your best friend out.”

“That was my fucking move.”

Even laughs. “If only they knew how devious you really are." 

Isak smirks under what he takes as praise, but it fades into a content smile when Even kisses the top of his head. “If they were smart, they’d keep us around. The jury won’t give a villain the win.”

“Unless that’s their only choice.”

“Hopefully. I’m starting to think we want Elias out next. Everyone will try to bring him to the end, and he’s out for our blood.”

“Do we have Eva?”

“She thinks her only option is to go after you, but I can talk her out of it.”

“Hm. Then we need a fourth.”

“Yeah.”

“Eskild seems keen to get in on the drama.”

That’s true. He’s desperate to build his resume. “Will he trust us, though?”

“He might. He turned against you with the Noora vote before you turned against him.”

“Because of you.”

“Details, details. I don’t know, I think he might be game. As long as we sell the move right.”

“It’s going to be hard to get people on board with us if they see as a pair.”

“Then we convince them we’re not.”

Cuddling every night is probably not helping their story, but Isak’s not about to leave the warmth of Even’s arms now, especially when Even leans in so close that his breath tickles Isak’s ear.

“Do you know what I’m going to dream about tonight?” Even whispers.

“Do _you_?”

“Mhm. If we’re in final two together, we’re going to have this entire island to ourselves.” Even plants a kiss behind Isak’s ear. “They’ll give us food, champagne, and it’ll be the most fucking romantic first date of all time.”

Isak smiles at the image. Even with the cameras, it’s like a scene out of a movie. “We better get to final two, then.”

“Have you no faith in me?”

“No.”

Even laughs. “Fuck you. I’ll enjoy my dream then.”

When Isak falls asleep, he dreams of the same.

\---

Once again, Isak’s worried the Survivor producers have hacked into his subconscious.

“For today’s reward challenge,” Mutta says. “The winner will spend the night at the Survivor resort. You’ll get pizza, champagne, a shower, and to sleep in an actual bed.”

Isak’s watched enough Survivor to know the winner of an individual reward challenge never experiences the reward alone. They always choose someone to accompany them.

Strategically, it would be stupid for either Even or Isak to take each other. They need one of them on the reward and the other back at camp. It’s still a fucking nice dream.

The challenge is a mud race. Each person has to dive into a pit of mud, cover their body in it, then scrape the mud off into a bucket. They can’t carry mud in any way other than to coat themselves in it. The person with the most mud in their bucket after ten minutes wins reward.

“Vilde,” Mutta says after he explains the rules. “You’re already scrunching your nose. Not your favourite challenge?”

“It’ll be good for my skin,” Vilde says with a smile. “I’m ready.”

“Well, I bet a shower will be even better,” Mutta says, and Vilde doesn’t argue with that. “Survivors ready, go!”

Isak does not have a strategy other than to get a shitload of mud on him, which proves to be a mistake when he gets some in his eyes.

“Your hair, Isak!” Even yells. “Use those luscious curls.”

Isak massages as much mud into his hair as he can before running to his bucket. When he reaches it, Even’s already scraped a considerable amount of mud into his, and is running back to the pit for more. Mid-sprint, Even finds time to yell, “Looking sexy, Isak!”

Isak’s grateful that the mud hides his blush.

When the time runs out and Isak surveys the buckets, he knows that either Even or Eva has it. Even had the advantage of a long body and quick sprint, and Eva had the advantage of long hair. Mutta weighs the buckets and confirms Even as the winner, then hen he asks the pivotal question.

“Even, it’s no fun to sleep alone,” Mutta says, and Even raises his eyebrows. At least, Isak assumes he does: his face is still covered in mud, and his hair is dripping with it. “You can bring two people with you to share this reward. Who’s it going to be?”

“Eskild,” Isak mouths, but Even ignores him.

“I have to take Isak because I don’t know how to sleep without him,” Even says. Isak’s so frustrated by the decision that he barely swoons. “And then, because she placed second, Eva. Sorry guys.”

“Seriously?” Eva asks, and Even nods. “A romantic getaway as the third wheel.  Beautiful.”

They take a dunk in the ocean before a crew member drives them to the resort—after all, they can’t track mud through the show’s product placement. Once they reach the resort, Eva hops in the shower, and they agree not to touch the food until everyone’s clean.

When Isak hears the water running, he knows it’s his only chance to talk to Even alone. “Why wouldn’t you take Eskild?” he asks. “I don’t need to be here.”

“If we don’t have Eva, it doesn’t matter if we get Eskild,” Even says, rooting through the basket of champagne. “And she’s not going to believe anything I tell her unless you’re with me. It’s not like Eskild, Vilde, and Elias are going to start anything while we’re gone that they wouldn’t have started anyway.”

“Are you looking for an idol clue?”

“Are you not helping me?”

Right. Isak lifts covers off pizza boxes, checks inside pillow cases, and even tries to find a crack in the floorboard, but to no avail. Even comes up short as well—at least, that’s what he tells Isak.

“I was thinking,” Even says. “You got Elias on your side by giving him an idol, right? I was hoping we could do the same with Eskild.”

“An idol _clue_ , but yeah.”

“Hm. Do you still have the paper from the first idol you found? That says it’s authentic?”

“Yeah? It’s in my bag.” Even’s eyes light up, and Isak narrows his. “Why?”

“Maybe I can put my Arts degree to good use.”

When Isak catches on, he immediately objects. “No.”

“Come on.”

“It’s so cheesy.”

“It’s fun!”

“You’re not going to fool Eskild with a fake idol.” Even frowns. “You’re going to make him doubt you because he’ll know you’re trying to play him.”

“Not if we have the paper from your idol. Plus, I think you’ve overestimating him and underestimating me. I’m very crafty.”

“Maybe we can get Eskild without going this far.”

“Maybe, but it won’t hurt to have it in our pocket in case we can’t. If he believes that we’re loyal to him, _and_ that he’s safe? He’ll make a move with us. Guaranteed.”

Even is so fucking excited that continuing to argue with him feels like kicking a puppy. While Isak sees this move for what it is—a flashy, unnecessary one that rarely works—he also recognizes that’s a decent argument to use against Even in a final two scenario. This is the perfect example of him choosing dramatics over strategy.

As long as it doesn’t fuck Isak over in the process. Eskild’s hopefully dramatic enough himself to buy into it. 

“Ok,” Isak says. “But if it’s a fucking stick, or if I hear the term ‘chicken idol’—”

“Give me some credit, Isak.”

The water stops. “Shit,” Even says, then makes quick work to look like they haven’t touched a thing. “I’ll go in next. Use your time with Eva to make her warm up to me. Then, when I’m one-on-one with her, I’ll charm her.”

“I thought your charm had run its course?”

“I made you believe that, did I?”

Isak rolls his eyes as Eva comes out of the bathroom. “Boys,” she greets. “Did you make good use of the bed while I was gone?”

“A gentleman never tells,” Even says.

Eva snorts as Even stands up, sneaking a kiss on Isak’s cheek before going into the washroom.

Eva raises her eyebrows at Isak. “You look very, _very_ happy.”

Isak laughs. “I’ve been worse, yeah.”

“Well, I’m happy for you. As long as you stay focused."

“Of course. You and I to the end." 

Just like Even did moments ago, Eva begins to search through the basket. “I take it and you and Even already looked for a clue?” she asks.

“Yeah. We didn’t find anything, though.”

“Right.”

“I swear. You can search my bag and Even’s.”

Eva hesitates, then shakes her head. “I trust you.”

“But not him?”

“Can you blame me?”

“No, but he’s about to stick his ass on the line to make this next tribal work for us. He’s going to gain Eskild’s loyalty by giving him a fake idol.”

Eva stares. “That’s idiotic.”

“Yeah, maybe it is. But if it blows up on him?” Isak wipes his hands against each other, then raises them in innocence. “You and I had nothing to do with it. We agree he’s too unpredictable, and we join the majority in voting him out.”

“…And if his plan works?”

“Then the four of us get Elias out and have an easier path to the end. Look, if something gets fucked up and we end up next to Even in final two instead of each other, we can both beat him. Our games are cleaner, and people are bitter towards him. No one has that kind of resentment towards Eskild, Vilde, or Elias.”

“No, I know.” Eva pauses. “I guess it worries me that you’ll see that as a reason to take him over me.”

“I’m not playing for an easy win in the final two. I want to prove I deserve it.”

“Your ego is big enough that I might actually believe you.”

“Great.”

“Fuck.” Eva laughs, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I’m in another third wheel alliance.”

“You’re not the third wheel in this one. I promise.”

As the night progresses, Isak realizes that statement might be hard to believe when the buzz of champagne, relative privacy, and power of soap combine to make Isak and Even somewhat inseparable. Even’s working his fingers through Isak’s now-soft hair, and Isak’s leaning into Even’s chest to take in his flowery, fruity smell that’s far superior to his body odour.

With the last of the champagne in their glasses, Even raises his in a toast. “Final three?” he proposes.

Eva’s the first to clink her glass against his. “Cheers.” She chugs the rest of her drink. “Even, I swore to never work with you, but now I’m shit out of options.”

Even smiles. “Likewise, but I’m not too worried. Some beautiful relationships have come from desperation.”

It occurs to Isak that he has no fucking clue what Even and Eva discussed while he was in the shower. They’d be wise to team up against him at this point.

He needs to be really fucking careful now.

They call it an early night because everyone’s eager to sleep on a mattress, with _pillows_ , again. In fact, there are enough pillows that Eva uses the extra ones to build a wall down the middle of the bed.

“I have not had a full night’s sleep since I’ve been here,” Eva says. “If you wake me up with giggles or other noises I won’t even suggest, I will vote both of you out. This tribal. Don’t ask me how, but I’ll change the game to ensure my revenge. Keep your cuddling on your side of the bed, and we won’t have any problems.”

“Noted,” Even says. “Goodnight, Eva. Sleep well." 

“Goodnight.”

Isak kind of likes the barrier. It’s the closest he’s felt to actually being alone with Even, and without the discomfort of the shelter to distract him, he can focus on the way it feels when Even just breathes against him.

“We’re going to have so many days like this after the game,” Even whispers. “Champagne, delicious food, you and me in bed. I can’t imagine anything better.”

And though Isak fucking loves the idea, something about it feels off. “Why have you been like this lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“Really sweet. Romantic. Talking about our future.”

“Does it scare you?”

“No. I like it.”

“Me too.”

“I just don’t know where it’s coming from.”

“Isak, after you told me everything yesterday—well, you kind of broke my heart.”

“Oh?”

“Not in a bad way, I just. I never want you to think that you're not loved again."

Oh.

“Thank you.”

“It is truly my pleasure.”

“Ok, that was romantic as fuck,” Eva says. “But now that the editors have their soundbite and you have your eternal love for each other, please, for the love of God, go to sleep.”

Isak laughs, and that’s almost the best part.

Even with the stress of the game, happiness is starting to come easy to him.


	32. Fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak lies as he tries to work out who is lying to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is...a lot going on in this chapter. It could very well be too much, but it was fun! :)
> 
> Immunity challenge: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47mTYxz2ZdM&t=359s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47mTYxz2ZdM&t=359s)
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

“What do you think?”

Isak turns the fake idol over in his hands, studying it. It’s a necklace of beads and feathers, and the pendant is a piece of wood carved to resemble a face.

“It looks like something you’d make for your best friend at the end of summer camp.”

Even frowns and snatches his creation out of Isak’s hands, then tucks it into his pocket. “Well then, you’re just jealous I’m not giving it to you.”

“Jealous?” Isak raises his eyebrows and pushes Even against their tree. Though they just returned from a reward and have work to do, Isak still wants to take advantage of their moments alone—especially while they still smell somewhat decent. Really, he’s being responsible. “Why would I be jealous when I can do this?”

Isak teases at first, trailing his fingers down Even’s neck and along his collarbone. Even leans into his touch, and Isak moves his hands to Even’s waist as he begins to kiss his neck.

“ _Isak_.” His name comes out as a moan. Isak makes a point of showing Even his grin before resuming his work.

“Isak, wait.” Even places his hands on Isak’s shoulders, and Isak lifts his head to look at him. “We have to get Eskild.”

“I actually don’t think he needs to see this—”

“If we don’t get Eskild, he’ll get one of us, and we won’t be able to do this tomorrow.” Isak sighs, but backs off. “It’s hard being the logical one around here.”

Isak gestures to the fake idol still hanging out of Even’s pocket. “ _That’s_ logical?”

“That’s a tool if we can’t get Eskild through the power of our words alone. Do you think we should talk to him at the same time?”

Isak shakes his head. “Eskild wants to feel special. If we approach him like we need a number, he’ll get offended. If one of us talks to him like we actually want an ally, he might go along with this.”

“And you want to be the one to talk to him.”

Isak shrugs. He’d control every conversation in this game if he could, but he does genuinely believe he’s the better option for this “We got along at the beginning of the game. And like you said, he betrayed me first. I just have to convince him that all is forgiven and I want our relationship back.”

“And that it’s best for his game to get rid of Elias.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “Obviously, but I’ve got to lay the groundwork first.”

Even smiles like he’s impressed, and Isak’s more than a little smug about it.

“Ok.” Even reaches into his pocket and gives the fake idol to Isak, who is reluctant to accept it. “This one’s all yours, baby.”

\---

“You want advice? From _me_?”

Eskild looks so excited that Isak almost feels guilty about what he’s doing. It’s not entirely disingenuous: he _does_ need advice, and while Eva would be his first choice to ask of the people left, maybe Eskild has some wisdom to share as well. He certainly seems to think he does.

“Yeah,” Isak says. The two of them are swimming alone in the ocean. “I don’t know, maybe it’s weird to ask—but I kind of felt like we connected at the beginning of the game? But then we had the tribe swaps, and everything with Noora….”

Eskild winces. “I still feel bad about that.”

Isak shakes his head. “You thought it was the best move, I get it. Fuck, I voted out my own partner, so who am I to judge?”

He smiles as a peace offering, and Eskild returns it.

“Then how can I advise you, Isak?” Eskild asks. “Troubles with a beautiful boy?”

“No, no troubles,” Isak says, and this conversation is honest even if Isak's intentions aren’t. “That’s kind of the problem? I’ve never—I’ve never been an actual relationship before, not like this. And Even’s really romantic, but I don’t know how to be like that. I’m just worried I won’t be enough for him.”

Isak’s surprised by the way Eskild’s eyes soften, how he studies Isak like he’s curious, even concerned.

“Isak. Our very first day on Sachchaai, I saw Even look at you, and I knew he’d fall madly in love with you even if I hoped he’d fall madly in love with me.” Isak opens his mouth to question that, but Eskild dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think he needs romance. I think he just needs you.”

It’s kind. It makes Isak regret dismissing Eskild as melodramatic and not developing a relationship with him earlier in the game.

“But if you want romance, may I suggest the following: rose petals on the bed. Making love by candlelight. I personally find the Lion King soundtrack to be quite moving—”

“I think I’ve got it from here.”

“I think you do too.”

Isak smiles, then tries a segue.

“It sucks that things went the way they did. It would’ve been fun to play with you.” He pauses as though his next thought is just occurring to him. “I guess there’s still game left.”

Eskild furrows his eyebrows. “And am I your next target?”

“Fuck, no. But I’m yours?”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. Even’s dangerous, Eva betrayed me—”

“I’m more thinking that if we don’t get Elias out this vote, he’ll get to final two.”

“ _Elias_?” Eskild repeats. “No one will vote for him to win." 

“Yeah. Exactly.”

Isak waits for Eskild to draw his own conclusions rather than drawing them for him. “If everyone sticks with the sides they’re on now, we’ll have another tie.”

“I know.”

“I’m not going to rocks again.”

“Me neither.”

“So someone needs to flip.”

Isak gestures to Eskild. “Might be your time in the spotlight.”

“I’m not even close with Elias,” Eskild says, more to himself than to Isak. “But I don’t want to lie to Vilde either.”

“Then don’t. Get her to vote with us. Five-one, Elias goes home, easy.”

“Like a voting bloc.”

Isak sighs. “Yeah. Like a voting bloc.”

“And you have Even and Eva?”

“What does the last vote suggest?”

Eskild hums, biting his bottom lip. “But then you have three in final five, and Vilde and I are only two. We’re sacrificing a number.”

“Do you really think I want to sit next to Even or Eva in the end? Final five is too deep in the game for alliances. It’s about who you want to go against in the end, which is why we have to get rid of Elias now. But if Even or Eva need to go next, I’m fine with that. I think you’d be the most fun to compete against in final two, anyway.”

That seems to please Eskild, which means he’s not self-aware enough to realize it's bullshit.

“And why would I trust the boy who has betrayed everyone?”

“Because it’s Survivor. Aligning with me to the end would be your biggest move yet. We can take out everyone together.”

Eskild’s eyes light up.

Got him.

\---

There is one thing Isak’s plan didn’t count on.

Isak’s hanging onto a pole, his arms and legs burning worse than they ever have. The problem is that Elias is hanging on right beside him, and everyone else is on the ground.

The premise of the immunity challenge is simple, hang onto a pole for as long as you can, but its proven to be the hardest competition yet. Eskild, Even, and Eva fell within minutes. Vilde was solid until a slip cost her what seemed like an inevitable win. 

Thirty minutes in, Isak’s hands are sweating, he’s losing his grip, and he’s too lightheaded to keep his balance. He should fall, he _wants_ to fall, but Elias is right beside him.

Isak tightens his grip around the pole.

“Isak.” At Even’s voice, Isak closes his eyes. “Tell me what’s happening in another universe right now.”

“You’re up here instead of me.”

“Or we could be up there together.”

“No. I’d be on the ground, playing the role of supportive boyfriend while you tortured yourself.”

“So sweet.”

“I try.”

“But we’d still be together? In another universe?”

“In all of them.”

“Not to interrupt your romantic exchange,” Mutta says. “But Elias is starting to slip.”

Isak turns to look beside him and slips himself. Elias is on the ground seconds later.

“Elias wins individual immunity!”

And Isak needs to adjust his plan.

\---

“Eskild won’t vote out Vilde.”

“No.”

“Elias will never vote with us.”

“No.”

“How fucked are we?”

Isak runs his hand through his hair, thinking. “I didn’t use the fake idol, so we still have that.”

Though it was Even’s idea, he’s the one who looks nervous at the thought of using it. “But the problem isn’t that Eskild doesn’t trust us. Vilde’s the only person he really has in this game.”

“I don’t know. I may have convinced him otherwise.”

Even furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t saywe’d go to final two together, but I kind of implied it? I said it would be fun, and that could go to the _end_ together—”

“Fucking hell, Isak. How many people do you have a final two with?”

“You know it’s bullshit, and it’s not even a final two. How else was I going to get Eskild to work with us?”

Even shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“But I need to double-down on it now. I need to call it a final two, give him the fake idol, and get him to vote Vilde tonight.”

“He’s going to ask why you don’t just vote out me or Eva instead.”

“I’ll play up Vilde as the bigger threat. Somehow.”

Even looks skeptical.

“Our only other option is to go to rocks again,” Isak continues. “This a gamble, but that would be too. Just try to trust me.”

“Ok,” Even says, holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll tell Eva the plan, you go do whatever you need to do. I’m trusting you.”

Isak gives Even a quick kiss on the cheek, then gets to work.

\---

“You know I’m not going to vote Vilde out.”

Isak nods as he fills up water bottles with Eskild. “I know that, but then you know that we’re looking at another tie.”

“Unless you vote with us and take out Even. We could even go for Eva.”

“I really think Vilde’s underestimated in this game. It was a fluke she fell during the challenge, and people like her. They could vote for her in the end.”

“She hasn’t even played the game.”

“Yet.” Running out of options, Isak decides to just fucking lie. “You know, Vilde approached me before the challenge.”

That surprises Eskild—likely because it never happened. “Really?”

“Yeah, after you told her we were all voting Elias?” Eskild nods, and Isak thanks whatever’s out there that he guessed right. “She thought you might be the bigger threat because people like you more than they like him, but still see you as someone they can beat in the end. And if I was looking for a weak player to sit next to in final two….”

“It would be her?”

“But she’s not weak. I don’t think so, anyway.” Isak caps the last water bottle and sets them on the ground. “You know, I wasn’t fucking around earlier. I want to go to final two with you, and I can prove it.”

Isak reaches into his bag and pulls the fake idol out. “This is yours,” he says, handing it to Eskild.

“Shit,” Eskild says, turning it over in his hands just like Isak did hours ago. Isak can only hope he doesn’t notice the same design flaws. “Where’d you find this?”

“The clue was at the reward. The idol was in some tree branches.” Isak points to cuts he got during the challenge, which Eskild looks impressed by.

“Who else knows about it?”

“No one. I hid it before Even and Eva noticed.”

“Do you have the paper? That says it’s real?”

It’s not a good sign that Eskild’s asking for it, but at least Isak is prepared. He pulls the paper from his first idol out of his bag and hands it over. Eskild reads each word like it's War and Peace, but when he finishes, he’s smiling.

“I thought you and your sexy artist of a boyfriend might be playing me.”

Isak shakes his head. “I get that my thing with Even makes people nervous, but it’s for after the game. I’m serious about this final two with you. I wouldn’t give you an idol this late in the game if I wasn’t.”

“No, I know. It’s a lot of trust too. I could fuck you over with this.”

Isak shrugs. “If you don’t vote Vilde tonight, I’m fucked either way.”

Eskild tucks the fake idol into his own bag, then extends his arm.

“To the final two?”

Isak shakes his hand. “To the final two.”

\---

Isak and Eskild catch Eva and Even up on the plan to vote Vilde together, leaving out the detail of their final two. When Eskild leaves to reassure Vilde, Isak tells them everything.

“And he definitely believed it was an idol?” Eva asks.

“Not at first,” Isak says. Even looks offended. “But he did once I showed him the paper. By the way, neither of you know about it.”

“And the story about Vilde, that was a total lie?” Eva asks, and Isak nods. “Won’t she tell him it was a total lie?”

“If the trust is already broken, Eskild won’t even bring it up.”

“Fucking hell,” Eva says. “I’m just always going to be this stressed before tribal, aren’t it?”

“Probably, yeah.”

“I’m going to take a walk,” Even says. “Make myself available in case Eskild wants to talk to me. See if he’s going to rat you out.”

“Good call,” Isak says, mainly because it gives him alone time with Eva. Once Even’s gone, he tells her, “You have nothing to worry about tonight.”

“You’re sure?” Eva asks.

“Eskild said they’re voting for Even. He only threw your name out there when I didn’t agree to that,” Isak says. “I’m 99% sure that if Eskild doesn’t vote with us, he’ll vote for me or Even. If it’s a tie between Vilde and Even, I’ll flip to vote Even out. Up to you whether you want to flip with me or not. I swear on everything.”

“And if it’s a tie between you and Vilde, you won’t get pissed if I flip?”

Isak shakes his head. “It’s a game, Eva. It just means I got outplayed.”

“Ok.” Eva nods, then stands up. “You know, I think Even has the right idea going for a walk. I don’t know if Eskild will talk to me, but Vilde might. The more information we have going into tribal, the better.”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Isak’s more than a little concerned when he’s left standing alone.

\---

Going into tribal, Isak has absolutely no new information from Even or Eva.

As far as he knows, the plan is still that Eskild will vote Vilde with them. He is very, very nervous, and only realizes it when Even stops his bouncing knee with his hand.

“If you don’t stay calm,” Even whispers, cupping Isak’s ear with his free hand. “Everyone will get suspicious.”

“They’ll also get suspicious that you’re whispering in my ear,” Isak whispers.

Mutta clears his throat. “Can we begin? Or do I need to let you finish?”

“Sorry,” Even says with a smile. “Sweet nothings.”

“I’d be more concerned with strategy if I were on your side of things,” Mutta says.

“Oh, they’re definitely concerned with strategy,” Eskild says. “Mutta, it’s been a very busy afternoon. I’ve never felt so popular.”

“You’re getting offers?” Mutta asks.

Eskild nods, sitting up straight. “It’s just like going out on a Friday. Who do I spend the night with?”

“All of you really should have been on the Bachelor instead,” Mutta says. “So, Vilde. Based on last tribal, it would seem that you and Eskild were together. Does it worry you that he has other offers?”

“Not really,” Vilde says. “It is like going out. There are one-night stands, but then there’s the person you go home to.”

“But if there _is_ a one-night stand, it’s still going to hurt the person at home.”

Vilde doesn’t have an answer for that.

“Eva, you went on a nice reward with Even and Isak,” Mutta says. “And you all voted together last tribal to get rid of Isak’s very own partner.”

Jonas waves at them from the jury.

“It seems like you’re a tight three,” Mutta continues. “Is that correct?”

“Your tight three at final seven isn’t necessarily your tight three at final six,” Eva says.

Isak turns to her, but Eva just looks straight ahead.

“Isak,” Mutta says. “That statement make you nervous?”

Isak remembers Even’s advice. _Stay calm._ “No,” Isak says. “I know who my allies are.”

“Like your partner that you put on the jury?” Elias asks.

Jonas pops his collar as though to say: _yeah, that’s me._ Isak thinks it’s fucking ridiculous that Elias feels more betrayed than Jonas does.

Isak shrugs. “He wasn’t one of my allies anymore.”

“So if I’m right about what’s going on here, we have the potential for another tie,” Mutta says. “Eva, Even, and Isak against Elias, Vilde, and Eskild. Could we be looking at going to rocks?" 

“No one wants to do that again,” Eva says.

“Ok,” Mutta says. “Then it sounds like we’re looking at a blindside, and it sounds like the perfect time to vote. Even, you’re up first.”

Even squeezes Isak’s shoulder before he stands up. Isak’s leg starts to bounce again, and it doesn’t stop until he gets up to cast the final vote himself.

“If anyone has an immunity idol and they’d like to play it,” Mutta says once he returns with the urn. “Now would be the time to do so.”

“Mutta?” Eskild says, standing up with the fake idol in hand. And— _what_? Through all the conversations, Eskild was never the person in danger tonight. Isak assumed he’d save it for next tribal, the last time an idol can be played, but maybe Isak’s story about Vilde made him paranoid.

“Isak told me tonight could be my turn in the spotlight,” Eskild says once he reaches Mutta. He turns around to face the tribe. “I’d like to take it, if I may.”

“The floor is yours,” Mutta says to Eskild’s back.

On the jury, Linn looks mortified.

“This,” Eskild says, holding up the fake idol. “This is a beautiful necklace—and a very sweet gesture, Isak. But, it just doesn’t bring out my eyes.”

Eskild tosses the fake idol into the fire. Isak is beyond fucked. 

“Clever plan, though,” Eskild says. “I take it Even made it? Even, maybe your future is in jewelry design. Neither of you are going to be a Survivor winner, though.”

Even’s leg is now bouncing beside Isak’s.

“Oh, and Eva?” Eskild says before sitting down. “Thanks for the tip.”

When Isak turns to look at her this time, she’s looking straight back at him. _Trust me_ , she mouths, but Isak can’t think of any fucking reason to do that.

“Well, that was…something,” Mutta says. “But unless anyone actually has an idol—”

“Oh, see that’s me,” Eva says, standing up with something clutched in her hand. She hands it to Mutta. “I’m going to play that for Isak.”

Isak is absolutely stunned, as is Eskild. He can imagine the reaction GIFs now.

"I can confirm that this is a hidden immunity idol," Mutta says. "No votes cast against Isak will count."

“Thank you,” he says to Eva as she sits down. “Eva, how— _thank you_.”

“The clue was in the bathroom at the reward, you idiot,” Eva says, but it’s fond. “I knew Eskild wasn’t going to vote with us, so I told him your idol was fake so he’d tell me who he was voting for. You’re welcome, by the way. I swear, I’m carrying this alliance.”

She winks at Noora on the jury, who is absolutely beaming at her.

“I owe you,” Isak says.

“You do. Final two.”

Beside him, Even stiffens.

“Ok, if that’s really everything,” Mutta says, and no one protests. “I’ll read the votes."

The first three votes are for Isak, so it's a good fucking thing they don't count. Then, it’s Vilde, Vilde, and Vilde again.

“The thirteenth person voted out of this game and the fourth member of our jury is…Vilde. You need to bring me your torch.”

Mutta snuffs her torch and says, “Now, usually this is where I’d say it’s time for you to go. But, Vilde? Could you actually take a seat with the other jury members?”

Oh, _fuck_. Isak cannot take another surprise tonight.

“Ok?” Vilde says, confused but compliant. Linn squeezes her hand when she sits down.

“And Elias?” Mutta says. “Could I have that immunity necklace back?”

Elias takes the necklace off and hands it to Mutta.

“Perfect,” Mutta says. “Tonight, immunity is not up for grabs. And that tribal was fun, wasn’t it? Let's do it all again, and let's do it right now." 


	33. Convincing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone tries to convince everyone else that someone else should go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun cliffhanger, right? :) I hope this chapter is worth the wait!
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

This is fine.

It might even be ideal. Isak’s in the majority, and there’s no time for anyone to get paranoid, no opportunity for the other side to scramble. All they need to do is decide if they want Eskild or Elias out.

It’s simple. It’s so fucking simple. And the twist in Isak’s gut knows it can't be that easy. 

“Some ground rules,” Mutta says. “No whispering. Remember this is the last tribal where you can play an immunity idol. Otherwise, the floor is yours. Play your game, and don’t forget that you’re playing it in front of the jury.”

This tribal is about more than getting to final four. It’s about showing off.

Isak can’t give anyone the chance.

“Let’s not make this complicated,” Isak says to Eva and Even. “We’re in control here. Are you both still good with voting for Elias?”

“Sounds great to me,” Eva says.  

Even’s quiet as he leans forward in his seat, resting his chin in his hand. It would be fucking sexy if he didn’t look like he was plotting.

“Even,” Isak says. “We have final three on lock right now.”

“True,” Even says. “But have I ever given you the impression that I’m playing for final three?”

He looks at Isak, a smirk on the corner of his lips. It’s as reassuring for their relationship as it is terrifying for Isak’s game: _this is a game, we’re having fun, but now we’re going to fucking play._

“Oh Even, then we should have a conversation,” Eskild says. “Open up to me. How did it feel when Eva sold you out to protect Isak?”

“Yeah, that’s not what happened,” Eva says, then turns to Even. “I only told Eskild the idol was fake so he’d trust me. If he’d told me they were voting for you, I would’ve played the idol on you.”

“Really?” Eskild says. “You would have used the idol on your closest ally’s _other_ closest ally? Instead of guaranteeing your own safety this tribal?”

“ _Yes_.”

“How convenient that you made Even look deceptive instead.”

“I’m sorry, was it a secret that Even’s deceptive? Was it not obvious that idol was just an arts and crafts project? I’m not going to take shit for protecting my alliance.”

“And it’s stupid to vote Eva out now,” Isak says to Even. “She’ll keep you around. Elias isn’t going to do that.”

“No, I know,” Even says. “Not that I don’t appreciate this discussion, but I’m not sure why everyone’s assuming I want Eva out.”

Isak furrows his eyebrows, and Even raises his in return.

“Fuck, seriously?” Isak says. “You want to vote me out now? Aren’t we passed this?”

“See, I thought we were,” Even says. “I thought we were playing for final two. But, it seems you’ve promised the same to Eva. Fuck, you even promised it to Eskild—”

“You know that was bullshit.”

“Was your final two with Jonas also bullshit, then?”

Isak flinches. “You can’t use that against me when you were in on the plan.”  

“He wasn’t my partner! And I’m not using anything against you. I’m simply asking a question.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t bullshit. My game just changed.”

“So your promises did too.”

“Because you’ve played this game with nothing but honour and integrity?”

“I’m not claiming that.” Even holds his hands up in innocence. “But Isak, why the fuck should I trust in our final two?”

Isak doesn’t have an answer for him. He shouldn’t, but maybe that’s irrelevant. They’ll be at top four—who gives a fuck about trust anymore? It’s about winning.

“It’s best for your game,” Isak says, simple. “You can beat me.”

“Wait, is _that_ the argument?” Elias asks. “Because that’s bullshit. Isak’s got Jonas’s vote, and if Eva’s not sitting next to him, he probably has hers and Noora’s too. He’d get mine. That’s all he needs.”

Even’s gaze shifts from Isak to Elias. “If I play with you,” Even says. “Do I even make final two?”

“You’re the only other person without a partner on the jury, I have a shitload of ammo against you, and I just don’t like you. I want to fight you. I need to sit next to you in the end.”

“So you think you could win?” Even says.

“I think you’re the only chance I have at winning.” Elias shrugs. “But fuck, no, we both know you’d take it. You’d be an idiot not to bring me to the end.”

It’s such a weak argument that it pisses Isak off. “Seriously?” he says. “Your entire pitch is that you’re a goat? You’re not even going to make up some bullshit strategy you had all along?”

“Staying under the radar is a strategy,” Elias says. “It’s not a flashy one like Even’s, but it’s gotten me this far.”

“I agree, but that hasn’t been your strategy! You’ve sworn vengeance against me and Even since Sana left, but you couldn’t even get one of us out. Fuck, we’ve gotten _you_ to help _us_ since them! You just suck at this game, and the jury’s not going to respect anyone who chooses an easy fight against you.”

“Then they won’t respect me enough to give me the win,” Elias says. “Even, why wouldn't you take me?" 

Isak wants to scream. Even saves him by changing the conversation.

“Eva,” Even says. “This making you nervous?”

“You mean how Isak’s defending _your_ final two with him? Yeah. Little bit.”

Or, he found another way to fuck Isak over. He’s fucked, he feels totally fucked, but there’s got to be a way out of this.

No one can trust him, which really shouldn’t come as a surprise to either of them. They think he’ll win in a final two, though after tonight, Isak’s not that confident he could actually beat Eva. He needs to be honest, and he needs to be logical.

“Instead of worrying about who Isak is going to take to final two,” Even says. “We can try to get there together." 

And he needs to act quickly.

“Ok,” Isak says. “I made a final two with both of you because, at the time, I didn’t know which was better for my game. I still don’t, and we don’t even know if I’ll be in the position to make that decision. All I know is the best shot for _any_ of us to make final two is for us to be in the final three together. No matter what bullshit they tell you tonight, Eskild and Elias will always take each other because that’s their only shot of winning. And you know what, I’d rather place third and vote for one of you to win than have to vote for Eskild or Elias.”

“Who would you vote for?” Even asks.

“What?”

“It’s me and Eva in the final two. Who do you vote for to win?”

For fuck’s sake. He can’t catch a break tonight. “Depends how you answer the final questions.”

“See, he won’t commit to anything,” Elias says. “Even, I know we’ve fucked each other over in this game, but I’m telling you right now that I want to sit next to you in the end.”

 _Bullshit,_ it’s bullshit—but it’s also an opportunity.

Eskild’s name has only come up this tribal as an alternative to Elias. In fact, the only time Eskild’s really been in danger was when they went to rocks, but they only voted for him so he _wouldn’t_ go home.

 _Staying under the radar is a strategy._ Eskild is not so much under the radar as he is illuminated by it, but that’s his personality, his dramatics, the way he talks about his game. He talks of big moves, but doesn’t actually make them other than—what? Flipping with Isak in the beginning? Blindsiding Noora? But he stayed loyal to Isak after the flip, and he was right to assume he and Linn were on the bottom of the partners’ alliance. He has enough of a game for resume, unlike Elias, but not so much that it’s disjointed, unlike Even.

Isak could retaliate against Even, try to turn the tribe against him the same way he’s done to Isak, but he knows it’ll come off desperate, and Even’s done enough damage that Isak doubts he’ll get the votes.

He has to present a new target. He has to convince everyone Eskild needs to be their target too.

Ok. Time for the Hail Mary pass.

“Eskild,” Isak says, calm. “If Elias isn’t taking you to the end, what’s your plan?”

“Sorry, but I’m not working with you after you tried to trick me with pretty things,” Eskild says.

“Yeah, fair enough.” Isak shrugs. “But Even made that idol. It was his idea. And Eva’s the one who ultimately used it to play you, so—what are your options? How are you getting to the end?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“I think you already have.” Isak pauses for dramatic effect, but it doesn’t work the way it does for Even. “We’re fighting for our lives here as you’re sitting back, enjoying the show. I’m the only person who’s brought your name up, but even then, I was more worried about Elias. You’ve played just enough to have some moves to your name, like blindsiding Noora, but not enough for any of us to see you as a real threat. Actually, you’re the ideal person for any of us to sit next to in final two—but what did you say to Linn before she left, again? That you could charm the jury?”

No one interrupts Isak, so apparently he’s making a speech now.

“I believe it,” Isak continues. “It’s kind of brilliant. You come off as this dramatic guy that only cares about big moves, so no one worries about you making smart ones. But you’re not stupid, and most of the moves you’ve made have been good ones. You really only went wrong last tribal. It’s a clean game the jury can respect if you sell it right, and I think you can."

“Isak, while I appreciate the compliments, you are giving me too much credit,” Eskild says. “Linn was my brain."

“I’m guessing that’s not what she’s telling the rest of the jury.”

Isak does not actually believe Eskild’s some strategic mastermind, but he also doesn’t think he’s lying. Eskild’s in a decent position, whether he got there intentionally or not, and he could spin the right story for the jury—with Linn’s help behind-the-scenes.

If Eskild doesn’t leave tonight, Isak’s helped his game and given him a shot of actually winning. So, he needs to double down on this.

“Elias,” Isak says. “If your entire game is that you’re easy to beat in the end, you don’t want Eskild standing beside you in final three. Any one of us will take him over you to the end, guaranteed.”

“It’s obvious you’re just trying to save yourself right now,” Eskild says. “I don’t know why you chose _me_ as the target when I threw Eva’s name out before yours—”

“Because I don’t care about that. If I was just going after who is coming after me, I’d be making a plea to get rid of Even right now, but I don’t think that’s best for anyone’s game. You are the biggest threat for everyone left. Period.”

“Comma,” Eskild says. “I’m not winning any challenges. I don’t have loyalties, so I can be used as a number—”

“Who gives a fuck about numbers at final four? And Eva, Eskild said it himself. He was quick to throw your name out there, and understandably so. You’ve manipulated him two tribals in a row now. He won’t let you get to the end because he can’t argue the fact that you’ve played him. That should make you more nervous than my allegiance to Even does.”

“What’s my pitch?” Even asks, grinning. He’s enjoying this far too much. “Why is Eskild a threat to my game?”

“He'll take you to the end, but he'll beat you. You have similar games, but his is cleaner, he has Linn to influence the jury, and he hasn’t pissed as many people off.”

“Hm. Noted.”

Even winks at him, and if Isak stays tonight, he might not even play with Even’s hair while they cuddle. Isak doesn't entertain not cuddling at all as an option because it’s simply too cold for that.

“Well, it seems like it’s time for me to step in as host again,” Mutta says. “That was enlightening. Are we ready to vote?”

“Can we just have like three more days to think about it?” Eva asks.

“Afraid not. In fact, why don’t you go first?”

Eva sighs, but does as she’s told. She takes so long to vote that Mutta peers over at her to make sure she’s ok.

Even’s much quicker, as is Eskild. Elias hesitates as well.

Isak votes for Eskild and crosses his fingers. When he returns to his seat, he catches Jonas doing the same on the jury.

Hopefully in his favour.

“If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and you’d like to play it, now would be the time to do so,” Mutta says, but he’s met with silence. At least that’s one small blessing. “Ok. I’ll read the votes.”

“First vote…Eskild.”

It’s Isak’s. He feels like he can’t fucking breathe.

“Second vote…Eskild.”

So, he convinced one person. Considering how hard Even went after him, he’s sure it was Eva. He smiles at her, and she offers him a weak one in return.

“Third vote…Isak.”

Eskild’s. That’s ok.

“Fourth vote…Isak.”

And this is considerably less ok.

“The fourteenth person voted out of this game and the fifth member of our jury is…Eskild. You need to bring me your torch.”

All Isak can do is laugh because _holy fuck,_ he knows when he’s gotten lucky.

On their way out of tribal, Elias nudges him and whispers, “You’re welcome.” God he’s an idiot, and thank God he’s an idiot. Isak nods in appreciation, and he knows the two votes against him were from Eskild and Even.  

Everyone settles into the shelter for the night right after tribal, exhausted. Holding Even, _but not playing with his hair_ , Isak whispers, “I shouldn’t be cuddling you right now.”

Even rolls over so he’s facing Isak, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why not?”

“You blew up my game? And voted for me?”

“Not my fault you didn’t fireproof your game.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I didn't vote you for you, though."

Of course he didn't. Isak’s so tired of being surprised tonight. “Seriously?”

“Isak, of course I wasn’t going to vote you out. You’re still the only person I want to sit next to in final two.”

“Then why the fuck did you throw me under the bus like that?”

“Eva played an idol on you. You were too close. I needed to create a rift.” Even smiles. “Guess I was successful.”

Isak stares, dumbfounded. “I could’ve gone home. If Elias didn’t flip his vote—”

“I wasn’t too concerned about that. I knew you had him with your argument that he couldn’t be the goat if Eskild was around. His game is that weak.”

Isak really doesn’t know what to say. He can’t exactly be grateful that Even didn’t vote for him, but—

“Are you pissed?” Even whispers. “Impressed? Turned on?”

“I’m fucking annoyed.”

“Mm, but a little impressed. I can tell.” Even kisses his forehead. “Fuck, you were hot tonight. Fighting like that—you’re going to be a hell of a competitor in the end. I can’t wait, baby.”

As tonight’s proved, Even’s unpredictable at tribal, kind of ruthless, and convincing enough that he turned Eva against him.

Isak can’t let him get any further.


	34. Mending Fences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak tries to repair his alliance with Eva.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a wait for a filler-ish chapter, but it should be the last of those as we're down to the wire now. :) 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

Eva’s doing something she hasn’t done all game.

Their fire went out after a spout of rain, and now Eva’s hovering over the tinder nest, striking their flint with a knife until it sparks. She gets a flame, but loses it just as quickly.

“I can do that,” Isak says, sitting beside her. Of the people left, he and Even are the best at not only getting fire, but also maintaining it. “I mean, I usually do?”

“I don’t want to leave this game without knowing how to make fire,” Eva says, starting over. They’re alone as Even and Elias are out for a walk, a concept that makes Isak nervous. “How embarrassing would that be?”

“About as embarrassing as leaving the game in a firemaking challenge.” Isak raises his eyebrows, and Eva raises hers right back. If there’s a tie in final four, it’s broken by a firemaking challenge. “Come on. We’re still lying to each other?”

“I don’t know, Isak. Is our final two still strong?”

Isak sighs as though that question isn’t the entire reason he’s having this conversation. Eva won’t exactly be easy to beat in a final two scenario, but at least Isak knows what arguments she’ll use. Strong social game, flipped when she had to and only when she had to, knew how to keep a fucking secret. She’ll claim that Isak’s only there because of her—not only because of her idol, but also because she voted Jonas out. She’ll probably say that Even distracted him, persuaded him to make moves that served his game rather than Isak’s.

As long as Isak knows what he’s in for, he can prepare counterpoints. Yes, Eva had a good social game, but he’s the one who made Eva like him enough to want to save him. With Even, he turned his biggest enemy into his closest ally. If anything, he got Even to play _his_ game when he suggested they vote out Sana.

Even’s a fucking wildcard. As last night proved, Isak doesn’t know what shit he’ll pull at tribal, especially when he’s playing for the win. Even thrives in spontaneity, and while Isak dabbled in it last tribal with some success, he’d still much rather go in with a plan.

Isak also has a better chance of getting to final two if Even isn’t in the final three. No matter what he says, Isak’s still not convinced Even would take him over Elias. Eva would think he’s easier to beat than Isak, and Elias sure as hell isn’t taking Isak to the end.

He needs Eva to take Even out. Even if he gets Elias’s vote against Even, he doesn’t want to go up against him in a firemaking challenge. It needs to be three-one.

“Hey, it always has been for me,” Isak says. “I’m not the one who voted against it.”

“Ok, but put yourself in my position,” Eva says. “How am I supposed to trust what we have over what you have with the guy you cuddle with every night? And you ended up voting together, so. I know what’s happening next tribal.”

Isak furrows his eyebrows. “I don’t?”

“You and Even vote against me. Maybe Elias, I’m not sure. But even if I get Elias to vote against your or Even, we go to a firemaking challenge, and I go home. I just feel stupid because this wouldn’t be happening if I didn’t save your ass.”

Eva’s strikes against the flint get more aggressive. Isak’s glad the knife is pointed away from him.

“That’s not what I want to happen.”

“Yeah, ok.”

“It’s not. Even needs to go next.”

“Really? You’re going to give up the chance to be completely alone with him on a beautiful island? And it’s not like it matter who wins. You’ll share the money—"

Isak’s surprised by her confidence in their future. “We haven’t talked about any of that stuff.”

Eva rolls her eyes. “You’re in love, Isak. You two will live happily ever after in a nice home, travel the world, and argue about who played the better game until the end of time.”

Despite her annoyance, she bumps Isak’s shoulder with her own, offering him a small smile. Isak returns it, knowing his relationship with Even isn’t the only one he’ll keep after the game.

“It’s not even about the money for me,” Isak says.

“Then what’s it about?”

Though his determination to win hasn’t faded, Isak hasn’t asked himself that question since the beginning of the game. Proving that he’s strong on his own—well, that seems kind of fucking stupid now. It’s also not the game he’s played. He’s trusted people, depended on them, even fallen in love with them.

“Changing? But not in a bad way, it’s like--realizing you can be your strongest at your most vulnerable? And being ok with letting yourself go there. Or being proud of yourself for going there.”

“You’re going to want to tighten that for your final speech.”

Isak laughs. “Yeah, probably. I don’t know. I just feel like I’ve grown.”

“Well, it’s totally about the money for me,” Eva says with a smirk.

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

“I need to fucking win, Isak. You know that I like you, but I don’t know if that happens with you in the final three.”

“I don’t think it happens without me there. Even’s not taking you to the final two over Elias. The jury might not respect him taking Elias, but he still has a better chance against him. You’d have three votes guaranteed in me, Noora, and Jonas, and you know Noora’s putting in work for you with the rest of the jury.”

“You’d seriously vote for me over Even?”

“It depends on how you do at final tribal, but right now? I respect your game more than I respect his.”

“Hm.”

“And Elias told us all he wants to bring Even, which makes sense for him.” Isak shrugs. “Unless you win that last immunity challenge, which you know will be fucking brutal, I’m the only way you get to final two.”

“But Isak, after last night…why should I believe anything you say to me?”

Isak understands what he has to overcome. It doesn’t matter how logical he is if Even’s destroyed the trust between them. He could tell Eva exactly what Even told him, but she has no reason to believe that either. She needs to figure out Even’s play for herself.

With some prompting from Isak, of course.

“Eva. Even gunned for me last night, then voted to keep me.”

“Yes, Isak. I recall.”

“What do you think the point of that was?”

“Pretending that he was targeting you so me, Eskild, and Elias wouldn’t target him?”

Oh. Isak hadn’t considered that.  “And?”

“And, to make me think he wants a final two with me? But obviously I saw through that when he voted with you, so…to make me doubt my final two with you?” Isak raises his eyebrows, and understanding flashes across Eva’s face. “Fucking hell. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not.”

“He just wanted tension between us. Because I played the idol for you— _fuck_ , Isak. I’m sorry.”

“It’s really fine. We’re both still here, and if we get Even out now, we can still get to final two together.”

“But you and Even do have a final two, right? Or did?”

“I was honest with you at tribal. I made a final two with both of you not knowing which I’d honour, but now? After last night? Eva, I don’t know if I can beat either of you, but at least I know how to argue against you. Even’s strategy at final tribal will be to surprise whoever he’s against until they’re too confused to think straight, I fucking guarantee it. I don’t want to deal with that, and I don’t think you do either.”

“No. Not really.”

“So, I’ve made my decision.” Isak shrugs. “I want to be in final two with you, and I want Even out this tribal to ensure that happens. Will you help me?”

Eva doesn’t answer right away, turning her attention back to the fire. This time, when the spark catches, Isak helps her maintain the flame.

“Can we get Elias?”

Isak smiles. “I’m going to talk to Even, convince him we should go after Elias this tribal instead of you because he’s the bigger challenge threat. Then, I’ll tell Elias that Even’s voting him out.”

“He’ll buy that?”

“Maybe not? Worst case scenario, we vote for Even, Even and Elias vote for you, and it does go to fire. I know that makes you nervous, but it’s not a guarantee you’ll go home. I’ll help you practice.”

“Worst case scenario is actually that Even wins immunity.”

That means Eva’s on board, and just in time, because Elias and Even are returning from their walk. Isak’s nerves about their conversation have faded—whatever, let them plot. Even should have realized it gave Isak a chance to form a plot of his own.

“You got the fire going again,” Even says, sitting down beside Isak. “Thanks.”

“It was all Isak,” Eva says, and Isak knows what she’s doing. If no one thinks she can make fire, they won’t worry about going against her in a tie.

Briefly, Isak wonders if Eva was trying to make him believe the same.

Isak places his hand on Even’s bare back, leaning over to whisper to him. “Can we get some privacy?” he asks, sneaking a kiss behind Even’s ear as he trails his fingers down Even’s back. “Please, baby?”

He doesn’t have to beg. Even stands up like it’s reflex. “Excuse us.”

Isak takes his hand, leading him to their tree. “Thought you might be too pissed at me for this,” Even says.

“Why would I punish myself for your mistakes?” Isak asks with a grin. Even returns it, and Isak marvels at how smiles always look brighter on him. “Seriously, I was pissed last night, but I know it’s the game. As long as we’re in the final two together, I don’t care what else happens.”

“Agreed.”

When they reach the tree, Isak leans against it, tilting his head back like he’s offering himself to Even. Even takes a shameless moment to stare, licking his lips before moving in. Just before their lips meet, Isak turns his head away.

“How was your talk with Elias?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Even says, then laughs. “That’s dirty.”

“We can get to the dirty stuff after the game stuff.”

Isak smiles wide, all dimples and innocence. Even shakes his head. “I wanted to know if Elias meant what he said last night. About taking me to final two.”

“Because you want to take him there?”

“Fuck no. But, if he wins the final immunity challenge—”

“You want to know that he’ll take you over me.”

Even shrugs. “You can’t blame me for that.”

“No, but I don’t see why we should give him a chance to be in that position. Elias could win that challenge, but I don’t think Eva can. As long as we’re in final three with her, we’ll be in a position to take each other to final two.”

“I know, but I’m not sure if Elias will vote against her this tribal. He’d still rather get you out.”

Well, that’s good for Isak to know. “So what? The two of them vote for me, and I have to make fire? I’m not worried about that.”

Even hums. “She’s definitely voting you out? You didn’t mend fences?”

“You mean the ones you torched?” Even nods, smirking. “No. She made it pretty clear I’ve fucked her over too many times.”

Isak doesn’t voice what he’s sure Even’s thinking: if his relationship with Eva is beyond repair, Even gets to final two regardless of who wins the final immunity challenge. He’ll let Even believe that.

“Ok, if you want to vote Elias out, I’m fine with that.”

“How generous of you.”

“I mostly want to finish the game talk so we can move on to more important matters.”

“Such as?”

Even leans in to show him.

\---

Isak’s feeling decent about his game.

He has Eva and Even in the exact positions he wants them in. He’ll talk to Elias after the challenge because he’ll need a new plan if Even wins immunity, and he’s not about to have more conversations with Elias than he needs to.

A producer sends Isak to get tree mail, which he assumes will be about the immunity challenge. Instead, he finds four envelopes addressed to each of the remaining players.

Letters from home.


	35. Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak's emotions interfere with his game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are so close to the end! I am really excited about everything to come, and I hope you are too!
> 
> Immunity challenge: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK3iYbJPHpc&t=86s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK3iYbJPHpc&t=86s)
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy!

Isak knows how this segment goes.

Each person reads their letter aloud, crying as they hug the same people they’re trying to vote out. Then, they give a confessional where they reveal something tragic or inspirational about their family, explain why certain lines were particularly poignant, and declare that they now have the strength they need for the rest of the game.

When Isak was young, he felt like he’d been forgotten, skipped over when they were handing out happy families. He remembers praying when he still did that, raising his hands as high as he could and saying in a loud voice, “I think you missed me.”

As he got older and learned more stories, he at least understood that he wasn’t alone in his loneliness. He began to wonder if some of the family segments on Survivor were fake, because really, what were the fucking odds that all these people had that much love in their loves?

Isak’s cynicism did not, however, stop him from occasionally tearing up as he watched.

So, Isak can play along too. It’s a television show. Of course it’s not all going to be real.

Eva’s crying before she’s even opened her letter, trying to gather everyone around the fire. “Ok, ok,” she says, mostly to calm herself down. “Who does everyone think their letter is from? Or wait, should we just open them? Who wants to go first?”

“Actually,” Even says, glancing towards Isak. “I’d rather read mine alone first, if that’s ok? Then we can talk about it after?”

Isak’s grateful for the out, time to figure out exactly what he needs to fake. “Yeah, me too.”

Eva and Elias agree, separating to find their own corners of the island. Isak’s about to do the same when Even says, “Can you sit with me in the shelter?”

He’s being sweet, Isak thinks, considerate knowing what he does about Isak’s family. While Isak appreciates it, he doesn’t want to take away from Even’s experience of reading his own letter. “That’s ok. I’ll be fine.”

“Well, I might not be.”

Isak thought he had seen of all Even’s smiles, everything from smug to smitten, but there’s honesty in this one, a vulnerability that makes Isak’s heart ache. He’s beautiful, always, but he also looks fucking terrified.

“Yeah, Even. Of course.”

They sit beside each other in the shelter, hands focused on their own letters rather than each other. As Even reads his to himself, Isak runs his thumb over the envelope’s crease, not really caring what’s inside right now. He just wants to make sure Even’s ok.

“Fuck.”

Isak looks towards Even, halfheartedly wiping at his eyes. He’s the only person Isak hasn’t seen cry out here, and he remembers when he told Even that, that the game didn’t seem to get to him. Even had said he was just a good liar.

It had to come out eventually.

Isak waits, wanting to give Even the space to feel what he needs to. He’s right there, and Even knows he’s right there—he just reaches over and places his hand on Even’s back, in case he forgets.

It’s like pushing a button, and everything Even was holding back comes out in ugly noises and shivers. Isak pulls him in to his own chest, stroking his hair and placing a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m right here,” Isak whispers. “Right here.”

Even’s breathing steadies, and eventually, his body does as well. “I did not expect that to get me,” he says, sitting up to grab the letter. He hands it to Isak, and with Even and the words from someone who loves him in his arms, Isak feels like he’s holding the most important things in the world.

_Dear Even,_

_I am not surprised you’ve made it this far. You are brilliant, creative, and social, all of the qualities you need to succeed in Survivor. I am proud of you, but it has nothing to do with that._

_It’s because you’re compassionate, because you fight against all of the ways in which the world isn’t. It’s because you’re brave in a way most people can’t understand. It’s because you’re my son, but you’re a better person than I ever thought to be._

_I don’t know if everyone’s seeing that side of you in the game, though I’m sure it’s slipped out even if you’ve tried to hide it. I want you to remember that regardless of what happens in the game, that’s who you are, and there are a world of people who love you for it. We’re all missing you back home._

_That being said, lie, cheat, backstab, do whatever you need to win. You’ve always got my support._

_Love,  
Dad_

“I’ve seen that,” Isak says. “The side your dad is talking about.”

“Yeah, you’ve really fucked up my game.” Even laughs, and Isak does too. “I’ve been so scared of this experience ending because, I know I’m good at this? I’m confident out here, and even with the money, the stakes feel lower than they do in the real world. Like, there’s less risk of me actually hurting someone because that’s what we’ve all signed up for.”

“Do you worry about hurting people?”

Even takes a moment just to look at him, and Isak understands. “My real life can be shit,” Even says. “Sometimes, it’s like I don’t even know how to exist in a day, and that makes me feel pretty fucking useless. I know my value out here, so my dad reminding me that people love me back home…I don’t know. I guess I needed it.”

“I’ll love you when we’re back home.”

It’s out before Isak’s fully realized what he’s said, but it’s worth the grin that lights up Even’s face.

“You too, Isak.”

He kisses Isak’s forehead, cheek, shoulder, arm, and Isak laughs. “What are you doing?”

“You deserve to be kissed a thousand times a day.”

“What the fuck? Only a thousand?”

“Hm, should I raise the bar higher?” Isak raises his eyebrows, and Even raises his own return. “We can work on that. aAter you read your letter.”

Isak groans but opens his letter anyway, still not all that concerned with what it says. He has Even, Jonas, and Eva, not to mention all the other friends that could come from this experience. He knows he’s loved, and he knows he’s worth loving, even if his own family couldn’t always provide that to him.

He reads his letter, Even reading over his shoulder.

_Dear Isak,_

_I loved you the minute you were born and every minute since. I pray for you every morning and every night. I am very proud of you, my brave adventurer._

_Love,  
Mom_

Isak decides that when he goes home, he’s going to try harder in his relationship with his mom. He’s not only learned that he’s loved, but that he’s kind of decent at loving too. He can try to do it more often.

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Even says, and Isak smiles.

“Yeah. That’ll be nice.”

\---

Isak can’t get rid of Even now.

Or, he _can_ —but he’s really going to feel like an asshole. He was never going to be the player who let his emotions interfere with this game, and he knows Even would understand, but fuck, fuck, _fuck_. He can’t exactly backtrack with Eva now, though maybe Elias would be smarter to vote off anyway? Even is already voting for him—

“Are you ready to get to today’s immunity challenge?”

And, ok, Isak just needs to focus. Whatever happens tonight is going to depend on who wins this challenge.

“For today’s challenge,” Mutta says. “You’ll be racing through a turnstile maze, but not all of the turnstiles will actually turn. You’ll need to collect four medallions, which you’ll then use to open a chest of puzzle pieces. The first person to complete the puzzle wins immunity and guarantees themselves a spot in the final three. High enough stakes?”

There’s a chorus of agreement from the players. “Before we get started, I want to hear about the letters you received this morning,” Mutta says. “Eva, could it be seen as a disadvantage? A distraction this late in the game?”

“Maybe for some,” Eva says. “But for me it was motivation.”

“How so?”

Eva shrugs. “Just reminded me that I’m smart and tough enough to take this.”

“Kind of sounds like the other players should be worried.”

“It’s their mistake if they’re only worried about me now.”

Even glances at Isak, and as much as Isak appreciates this moment for Eva, he wishes she’d stop talking. Tonight’s going to be complicated enough, and he doesn’t need Even wanting to vote her out on top of it.

They begin the challenge, and Isak’s strategy is to take his time. He wants to analyze the maze, know where he’s going before he starts running, remember everywhere he’s been and exactly where it led. Even and Elias are taking the opposite approach of just fucking going for it, and according to Mutta’s commentary, Eva mostly looks lost.

When he sees Even get his first medallion from a corner Isak hasn’t been, he takes off in that direction.

“Even is in the lead right now with one medallion,” Mutta narrates. “Isak and Elias not far behind. Eva’s taking a tourist’s approach, so let me remind you this is a race. A spot in the final three is on the line!”

But even after Eva finds her first medallion, it remains a race between the three guys, Isak passing Even the further they get: he’s beginning to understand the maze’s layout, while Even’s just running.

Isak’s going for his third medallion when Eva comes flying past him, grabbing one off the table before he does.

“Out of nowhere, Eva with her second medallion! She just woke up!”

As Isak searches for the fourth one, Mutta announces that Eva’s found her third one. When he grabs his fourth, he hears, “Isak and Eva both with four medallions! Get out and start working on your puzzle!”

He runs, getting out of the maze only slightly before her. But she’s faster at unlocking her chest, and this is always where Isak struggles in challenges—simple tasks like untying knots and turning keys. By the time he has his puzzle pieces, Eva’s already making progress on hers, and both Elias and Even are unlocking their own chests.

“This is a close race!” Mutta yells. “Anyone could take it, and we know the puzzle is the great equalizer in Survivor.”

It’s not an easy one, with many small, similar-looking pieces. Isak’s flustered before he’s even started, so he takes a moment to step back, analyze what he’s working with before placing the first piece. By the time he understands it, everyone else has a number of pieces on their board, but he knows that doesn’t matter if they’re all wrong. He’s still in it.

“Check!”

Everyone pauses, turning towards Elias’s voice. And when Isak’s heart drops, he knows Elias is the last fucking person he wants to win this challenge. He doesn’t deserve to make final three, and that’s who Isak wants to see leave.

Which means he’s fucked up.

“Elias thinks he has it…but he doesn’t!” Mutta says. “Keep going!”

Within seconds of getting started again, Eva yells, “Mutta! Check!”

Isak glances at her puzzle, which is an entirely different picture than whatever he's making.

So, he’s surprised when Mutta says, “That’s correct! Eva wins individual immunity!"

Not disappointed, though. She fucking earned that, and she knows it, falling to her knees in what looks like a combination of exhaustion and elation. Isak gets down with her, slapping her shoulder in congratulations. Eva covers her face with her hands, and Isak rubs her back when he realizes she’s crying

“Eva, quite an emotional reaction,” Mutta says. “Why does this mean so much to you?”

“It’s just proving something to myself,” she says. “I’m always told that I’m not smart enough, not strong enough—I mean, no one expected me to win this challenge, but I fucking did it. So, I’m not believing in the bullshit anymore. I know what I can do.”

And Isak knows he can’t sit next to that in the final two.

\---

“No one has ever been as tired or as sore as I am right now.”

Isak hands Eva her freshly-filled water bottle as she lies in the shelter. He sits down beside her and says, “You fucking killed that.”

“I wanted it. Oh my God, I didn’t realize how badly I wanted it until Mutta’s comments starting pissing me off. I wasn’t just out for a stroll. I was watching what you guys were doing. I never wasted energy running in the wrong direction because I know where each medallion was.”

“Smart.”

“I have my moments.”

“Then maybe you know what we should do tonight.”

Eva furrows her eyebrows. “Are we not voting Even out?”

“I don’t know.” Isak runs his hand through his hair. “Ok. I still think Even’s a huge threat in final two. I still don’t want to go up against him. But, it doesn’t really matter if he gets to final three. I’m starting to think we could both take him in the final immunity challenge.”

“Really?"

“When you want it? You fucking fight for it. And I will, too.”

“Even’s good in challenges.”

“So is Elias. Better, even: he was right behind you today. Even just rushed into it without thinking about what he was doing." 

“That doesn’t matter if it’s endurance.”

“We can beat Even in endurance, easier than we can beat Elias. We just have to hold on longer.”

Eva smiles. “Oh, is that all?”

“Simple, really. The other thing is that Even’s on board to vote Elias out. We can have a nice, clean vote without worrying about a tiebreaker.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Eva takes a long sip of her water. “And you’d take me, right? Over Even?”

“Of course. I kind of think you’ll kick my ass in the final challenge anyway.”

Eva laughs. “Please. I’m saving that for final tribal.”

\---

“It’s been an emotional day. How hard is this game at this stage?”

It’s strange to be at tribal council with only four people. It feels less chaotic, so no wonder Mutta’s taking the opportunity to talk about emotions. Isak would rather just get to the vote—he’s felt enough for one day.

“You don’t realize how it’s affecting you until you do,” Even says. “And then it all hits you at once."

“Speaking from experience?” Mutta asks.

“Yeah, the letters got to me today.” At the mention of letters, Jonas meets Isak’s gaze from the jury. Isak nods at him in a way he hopes conveys that everything’s chill. “I had Isak to help me through it, though.”

“We’ve seen closer relationships this season than I think we have any other,” Mutta says. “And not only between partners. Isak, does that factor into your gameplay?”

“I want to say it doesn’t, but I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m sitting here with Eva and Even right now,” Isak says. “There are people you want to look out for.”

“Elias, I noticed your name didn’t come up in that,” Mutta says.

Elias laughs. “Yeah, no shit. I’m on the bottom, but if I were Even or Eva, I’d be questioning how Isak can be that close to both of them this late in the game.”

“We did that questioning last tribal, actually,” Even says. “It’s a bit boring now.”

“If that’s true,” Mutta says. “What are you taking into consideration tonight, Eva?”

“How I can with this game,” Eva says with a smile. “If you’re thinking about anything else, you’re on the path to jury.”

“Well, I think that’s a good transition into the vote,” Mutta says. “You can’t vote for Eva tonight. Everyone else is fair game. Elias, you’re up first.”

As they vote, Isak takes note of how relaxed he feels, and instantly gets nervous. It can’t be so easy that they all vote Elias out, can it?

“I’ll read the votes,” Mutta says once everyone has finished and he’s collected the urn. “First vote…Isak.”

Elias’s, probably. That’s ok, but Isak’s stomach still drops.

“Second vote…Elias.”

“Third vote…Elias.”

When Mutta pulls the fourth vote out, he pauses before turning it around. Isak reads his own name before he processes what Mutta says.

“We have a tie. Per the rules of Survivor, a tie in the final four is broken by a firemaking challenge. Isak, Elias, take a seat behind the firemaking stations.”

Isak looks behind him as he stands up, trying to determine who voted against him. It’s obvious when Eva winks at him and says, “Sorry I didn’t help you practice, Isak, but you seemed pretty confident.”

God, he’s an idiot.

“Hey, you’ve got this,” Even says to Isak. “You’ve been doing it all season. Don’t overthink it.”

Not exactly his strong suit, but Isak will at least try to follow Even’s advice.

“You each have the same material at your station,” Mutta says. “Flint, a knife, coconut husk, and wooden kindling. You need to build a fire with the flame high enough to burn through the rope. Let’s begin.”

Isak places his coconut husk on the base of his station. He immediately starts scraping the magnesium off the flint to get a spark, not paying attention to Elias until Mutta begins his narration. “Two different strategies going on here. Isak’s scraping off magnesium to be the igniter, while Elias is trying to spark the husk directly—and it seems to be working for Elias, because he’s got a small flame.”

Isak considers changing strategies, but then remembers Even's advice. He’s been making fire with magnesium all season. He knows how to do it, so he keeps scraping away at his flint.

“Elias loses his flame,” Mutta says. “IIt can go as quickly as you get it." 

Isak takes the advice to heart when he finally gets a flame, blowing on it to nurture it. He grabs the kindling to build his structure, trying to encourage it.

“Isak’s got a decent flame going,” Mutta says. “The question is whether he’ll keep it. And it looks like Elias is switching to Isak’s approach of using magnesium.”

Isak does not want to get cocky. He’s not going to lose this game because he can’t build a fire, so he is going to build a fucking fire.

“Elias has got a nice flame now,” Mutta says as Isak’s grows, though it’s blowing away from the rope. “Isak just needs to get his in the right direction. It’s clear both of these guys know how to make fire.”

But Isak is better at it, he’s worked for it all season, and he’s going to prove that. Sweating from the heat, he works on adjusting his structure, trying to get his fire blowing in the right direction.

“Elias and Isak both very close now,” Mutta says as Isak’s flame just touches the rope. “This could come down to seconds.”

He risks a glance at Elias’s, whose flame is a bit more controlled than Isak’s at nearly the same height. He looks back before he can panic—and there it is.

His fire’s burning the rope.

“Isak wins and is in the final three!” Mutta says, and he falls to his knees like Eva did in the immunity challenge, looking up just to catch Even grinning at him. “I’m sorry Elias, but that means it’s time for you to go.”

Isak shakes Elias’s hand before makes his way back to the benches. Despite Eva’s betrayal, he’s kind of glad he had this moment. He didn’t realize winning a firemaking challenge was on his Survivor bucket list.

All that’s left is to win.


	36. Endurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak competes in the final immunity challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot of notes this chapter, so bear with me. :) 
> 
> First, the chapter count! I finished this chapter and was like, "Oh shit, I guess there's only two chapters left after this one?" And uh, that's true. It feels like it's taken forever to get here, but also that the finale has come too quickly! 
> 
> Second, my pal Gina wrote a fic of this fic, and it's the cutest thing in the world. Check it out on her tumblr @sana-halla [here](http://sana-halla.tumblr.com/post/172880989354/brionbroadway-i-told-u-i-would-do-this-like-45).
> 
> Third, I am not a good enough writer to capture how epic this final immunity challenge is, so please check out [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rs6MLdLuiQ&t=248s) of it. The challenge starts at 3:50, and if you watch it to the end, you will cry. (Also, if you've never watched Australian Survivor, this video will sell you on it). 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com). Enjoy! :)

“That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Isak tilts his head up to grin at Even, and Even, taking advantage of the situation, kisses him on the forehead. Tucked under Even’s arm and laying against his chest, Isak is completely content. “Did you fantasize about me almost going home in a tiebreaker?”

“Mm, a little?” Even raises his eyebrows, a teasing smirk on the corner of his lips. Isak rolls his eyes. “Just, watching you make that fire. So focused, so determined. So cute with your concentration face.”

“My what?”

“You know, the little scowl? I wanted to kiss you so badly.” As though he’s only just realized he can, Even kisses Isak in a way that’s as soft and peaceful as sleep should be. “And then the fact that you won? Fucking glorious.”

Isak laughs because fuck it, he deserves some glory. “It was pretty awesome.”

“I bet everyone’s going to root for you at home. I think they’ll love you.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Really, Isak’s not all that concerned about how the audience will perceive him. Unlike a show like Big Brother which airs live, he’ll watch his season at the same time the rest of the world does. It should be a terrifying concept, but he knows that he’s got some good people in his corner, so everyone else can think whatever the fuck they want. “As long as they don’t compare me to _Spencer_.”

Even laughs. “Not over that yet?”

“I can hold a grudge.”

“Damn. Should have voted you out earlier.”

“Your worst game move was keeping me around.”

“I know. Can’t say I regret it, though.”

“Me neither.”

They take a moment in the silence, Even lazily running his fingers through Isak’s curls, Isak tapping out a beat on Even’s chest. It would be perfect if it weren’t for Eva lying on the other side of Isak.

“We only have two more nights out here,” Even whispers. “Immunity and tribal tomorrow. And if we survive that, it’s just one more sleep until the finale.”

Given how hungry, sore, and exhausted he is, Isak can’t understand the pit in his stomach, the gut feeling that he is going to really fucking miss nights like this. “But it’ll feel the same,” Isak says. “If we’re together, it’ll feel the same. We’ll just have a bed.”

“And no cameras.” Even trails his fingers down the back of Isak’s neck, and Isak shivers at his touch. “I’m looking forward to that.”

“Mm, me too.”

“I still don’t want this to be the last night.”

“It won’t be. As long as one of us wins tomorrow, we’re both in the finale.” After Eva’s last move, there’s no question Isak’s taking Even to the end, and he believes Even will take him as well. Neither of them can beat Eva. “That challenge is going to be fucking brutal.”

“Then we should probably stop flirting with each other and get some sleep.”

Even’s right, but at the same time, being with Even feels like rest, like a recharge, like a kind of energy Isak’s never had before. Whether or not he sleeps well tonight, Isak feels good going into the challenge.

It’s not that he believes he can do anything. There is a chance he’ll lose tomorrow. And he wants to win, _badly_ , but he also understands something he didn’t at the beginning of the game.

Maybe he can’t do anything, but maybe he’s not to meant to. Wanting to prove that he can survive on his own was a fucking stupid goal. Learning that other people can help him through shit, and that he can do the same for them, has been the most satisfying experience of his life.

Epiphanies aside, Isak closes his eyes to take Even’s advice.

\---

Before the immunity challenge, Isak goes on a walk with Eva. They deem it the No Bullshit tour, because really, there’s no point in strategizing anymore. As much as Isak would love to convince her that he’ll still take her to final two so she won’t fight as hard in the challenge, Eva’s not that stupid, and he’s not stupid enough to talk to her like she is.

“I just think it was a bad move,” Isak says at one point. “You know I can make fire.”

“And I know that you get stressed and flustered,” Eva says. “I thought Elias could beat you.”

“But what was even the point? Ok, you didn’t think I’d take you to final two, but it’s not like Elias would have either. Why not just vote him out instead of pissing me off by making it a tie?”

“Because I wasn’t as worried about competing against Elias in the immunity challenge as I am about competing against you. And as for pissing you off—come on, Isak. You were taking Even to final two whether I voted for you last night or not. Fucking hell, you were trying to save him from a plot _you_ created against him.”

Isak opens his mouth to argue, and Eva narrows her eyes at him. “No bullshit,” she says.

Right. Isak shrugs in concession. “Yeah. You’re not wrong.”

“Rarely, no.”

Isak smiles, and when Eva returns it, he feels an undeniable sense of relief. He didn’t want to lose her to all the bullshit they’ve done to each other in the game.

“Seriously, good luck today,” Isak says, stopping in place. “If I have to lose to someone, I’m glad it’s you.”

“I’m not saying the same because I’m not going to lose, but thank you.”

Eva hugs him like it’s a goodbye, and Isak knows that no matter what happens in the challenge, one of them is going to jury tonight.

\---

Per Survivor tradition, on their way to the final challenge, Isak, Even, and Eva pay tribute to their _fallen comrades_ , walking past each of their torches and commemorating them.

At first, it’s every bit as fake and ridiculous as it reads on TV, especially when they have to come up with something to say about Magnus who none of them ever met. Isak struggles to remember what Mikael looked like, can’t recall a single conversation he had with Chris, and doesn’t want to say anything nice about Ingrid.

But he’s surprised when passes Sara’s torch, remembering his first real partner in the game and the struggle of losing her. And though Mahdi was not the most loyal of allies, Isak does miss him and the quick connection they formed.

Even takes a moment at Yousef’s torch, and while Isak doesn’t regret getting him out when he did, he wishes he’d gotten to know the person who means so much to Even who now means so much to him. Eva kisses Noora’s torch, promising to win for her. Isak doesn’t know what to say at Jonas’s torch other than, “Thanks for getting me here.”

When they finally reach Mutta and the challenge, it’s more epic than Isak even imagined.

On a rocky cliff, there’s a tall immunity idol surrounded by six pedestals. Isak watches the waves crash over the cliff, soaking the spot where he’s about to stand.

Ok. He’s a little nervous.

“Are you guys ready for this?” Mutta asks. “Final three, we want to make you earn it.”

“Absolutely,” Eva says as Even says, “Of course.” Isak opts for silent agreement.

“For today’s challenge, you will balance on two narrow pedestals while keeping one hand on the immunity idol. If your hand leaves the idol, you’re out of the challenge. If you fall, you’re out of the challenge. If your free hand touches the idol or either of your pedestals at any point, you’re out of the challenge. The last person standing wins immunity and guarantees themselves a spot in the finale. I know this is worth playing for, so let’s get to it.”

When Isak steps onto his pedestals, he instantly feels a strain on his body. They’re different heights and spaced in such a way that he’s almost in a lunge, and he has to lean forward just to reach the idol.

It’s designed to hurt, but Isak knows how to survive that. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he can do this.

Then, the first wave hits.

It’s almost enough to knock him off balance, not to mention that it’s fucking freezing. He’s going to be shivering for hours, because he’s going to fucking stay up here for hours. He just has to.

“This would be a hard challenge for anyone,” Mutta says. “But you’re all running on no food, little sleep, injuries—Even, what kind of state is your body in now?”

“It’s fine,” Even says, which Isak would know was bullshit even if he hadn’t noticed how much weight Even’s lost, the dark circles under his pretty blue eyes, the bruises and scrapes that cover his body like tattoos. “I’m not hurting.”

“Isak? What about you?” Mutta asks.

“All good,” Isak lies. Stretching his body shouldn’t require this much effort, balancing shouldn’t require this much focus, but everything’s stiff and sore, and his mind feels like it’s in a fog. He is just so fucking tired.

“Eva?” Mutta asks.

“Yeah,” she says, laughing. “This hurts like hell.”

“Thank you for actually being honest with me,” Mutta says. “Isak, Even, you guys are liars.”

“That shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point,” Even says.

An hour passes, and then another one does, and it’s not like the challenge gets easier as time passes. Isak’s shaking from the cold of the waves, and what he hoped would go numb actually just really fucking hurts.

“Everyone looks like they’re feeling the pain now,” Mutta says. “Where is it? Feet, hands?”

“Everywhere,” Eva answers, and the strain in her voice hurts too. “It’s fucking everywhere.”

“But you’re all still fighting for it,” Mutta says.

“I’ll stay here all night,” Eva says. “That’s how much this means to me.”

“Same,” Isak says.

“Same,” Even says.

“Well,” Mutta says. “I should have brought a sleeping bag.”

At the three hour mark, Isak hears a noise he never wants to hear again.

It’s coming from Even, and it’s even worse than he was crying. It’s a moan, almost a scream: it’s just _pain_ , and Isak hears it in his voice, sees it on his face, feels it in his own body.

“Lot of movement from Even,” Mutta says. “Really starting to struggle now.”

“You can come back from this,” Isak says. “You got this far into the game despite a lot of people gunning for you. You’ve dealt with way harder shit in your actual life and survived it. Fuck, you not only survived it, you became, like, the best person in the world. This is nothing.”

“It doesn’t feel like nothing,” Even says, and Isak can hear how true that is.

He just wants to help him.

“Tell me your favourite directors.”

“What?”

“Just list them. Favourite movie, least favourite movie. What’s unique about them. All that pretentious stuff I’ll pretend to care about because I like you so fucking much.”

Even lets out another awful noise, but then plays along with Isak’s game. It helps Isak, too, to focus on everything’s Even saying, to memorize the names he’s never heard before to look them up later.

“Eva, I have to ask,” Mutta says. “Do you feel like you’re fighting alone here?”

“No,” she answers. “I know Noora would be doing the same for me, so I’m just imagining that she’s here.”

“She’s going to be so fucking proud of you,” Isak says. He might be on Even’s side here, but he still cares about Eva too. “You’re killing this.”

“Thank you,” she says, but only barely. None of them have much strength left in them for their voice.

Somewhere between three and four hours, Isak hears the awful noise from Even again, and this time it strikes something different in him. “Baby,” he whispers. “You can let go.”

“What?” Even asks.

“You’re hurting, and I’m doing ok, so you should let go.”

“Isak. You’re sure you’re doing ok?”

No, that is obviously a fucking lie, but he can outlast Eva. He just needs to hold on longer than she does. Simple. “I promise.”

“If you win and take Eva to final two—”

Isak laughs. “I swear I’m not that much of an asshole.”

Isak knows that Even trusts him when he asks, “Mutta, can you help me get down?”

Mutta obliges, taking Even’s hand to bring him down to the ground. He lets go for just a second, and when Even nearly falls over, Isak realizes that he doesn’t even know the toll this is taking on his body.

Holding him upright, Mutta walks Even to a bench and offers him his water bottle. “Are you ok?” Isak asks.

“Yeah, don’t worry about me,” Even says. “Just focus.”

So that’s what Isak does until focusing on winning turns into focusing on pain.

And then it’s all he can think about, the fact that his body is not what it was when he started this game, that it is not designed to handle this, that he can endure hurt but that doesn’t mean he fucking enjoys it. He’s crying, and he can hear Eva doing the same, but they’re both still holding on.

What surprises him is when he hears Even crying, too.

“Even,” Mutta says. “Why is this so emotional for you?”

“Because I know how much Isak’s hurting right now,” Even says. “And I just want to hold him. Make it better somehow.”

“Just talk to me,” Isak says. “Be here with me.”

Even takes a moment to think, then says, “Talk to me about constellations.”

Isak swallows hard, then begins to name each one he can think of, describing their configuration and everything else he knows about them. As he talks, though, it’s hard to ignore the noises Eva’s making beside him.

“Eva,” he says, interrupting himself. “Tell me how you and Noora met again.”

Eva hesitates before asking, “Why are you helping me?”

“Because this is only a win if I beat you at your best,” Isak says. “And this fucking sucks, so I want to help you through it.”

“It was at a party,” Eva says, then launches into her own story.

It’s not long before they’re tired of talking, tired of fucking everything. Eventually, Isak hears himself say, “I can’t,” words he doesn’t want to believe but feels deep in his gut. He’s only got a little left in him, and he sees another fucking massive wave coming—

When it hits, he slips. Using all the fucking fight he has left, he regains his balance, but he wonders if it was even worth it. It’s not like he can keep doing this—

“Eva, are you ok?”

It takes Isak a moment to process Mutta’s words, to realize that Eva is lying on the ground. His first concern is whether she’s ok, but as Mutta confirms that she is, he hears Even says, “Isak, I’m coming to help you down. You did it.”

And he did.

He won.

Even helps Isak down, but he’s really not strong enough to carry him anywhere, and Isak feels like he can’t move his body at all. Stumbling, they end up lying beside Eva on the rocks, all three of them trying to catch their breath.

When they get enough strength to sit up, Isak puts one arm around Eva and the other around Even. “I love you guys,” he says. “And we all deserve to be really fucking proud of ourselves.”

Despite the pain, that’s what Isak feels more than anything else—love, pride, and a sense of _holy fuck, we actually all did this._

Based on Eva’s and Even’s smiles, they feel it too.

\---

Tribal is anticlimactic.

There’s little strategizing back at camp because there’s nothing left to say. Eva plead her case with the argument that Isak might not want to sit next to his showmance in final two as it could discredit his game, as well as Isak’s own argument that Even will be unpredictable at final tribal, but her attempt was halfhearted at best. They both knew what Isak was going to do, and there’s a sense from Mutta and the jury that they know as well.

“So, this is how tonight works,” Mutta says. “Since Isak has immunity, Even and Eva can only vote for each other. That means Isak will cast the only vote, thereby choosing who he wants to sit next to in final two. Isak, can you walk me through the pro’s and con’s of taking Even versus Eva?”

“They’re both strong competitors, but Even’s game is messy,” Isak says. “So it’s easier to fight than Eva’s, which has been more cohesive.”

“Even, you don’t want to refute that?” Mutta asks.

“If it means he’s taking me to final two? Fuck no,” Even says.

“Then Eva, what about you?” Mutta asks.

“I’ve already made my case to Isak, and it’s not that my game’s weaker than Even’s,” Eva says. “It’s just how the jury might look at him taking his showmance to the end.”

“That’s an interesting point,” Mutta says. “Isak, how much do emotions factor into your decision tonight?”

“Well, Even’s not a showmance,” he says. “I’m in love with him, so yeah. I’m going to factor that in.”

Isak watches Jonas’s eyes go wide on the jury, only to be followed by an even wider grin. He almost misses Even saying what he didn’t realize he was waiting to hear.

“Isak, I love you too.”

“Oh my God,” Eva says. “Let’s just vote, please. We all know what’s happening tonight.”

Mutta agrees, and Isak casts his last vote of the season for Eva. There’s no shock or drama when Mutta reveals it, but there is an air of sadness.

“I wish it was a final three this season,” Isak says as he hugs her goodbye.

“Oh, you’re such a liar,” Eva says, laughing. “You know I’d win that.”

Isak shrugs, caught. “Ok, then I’m pretty happy it’s a final two.”

Pulling away from Isak, she directs her attention to Even. “Just so you know,” she says. “My jury vote is not decided. I want to see both of you fight tomorrow.”

“Absolutely,” Even says. “I’m not letting Isak off easy.”

After Eva leaves, Mutta says, “Isak, Even, congratulations on making final two. Tomorrow, you’ll face a series of questions from the jury, who will then vote for who they want to win the title of sole Survivor. Get some good rest tonight, and enjoy.”

Leaving tribal, Isak realizes that he and Even finally have this island to themselves.

He’s definitely going to enjoy that.


	37. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak answers questions from the jury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're at the finale! I don't have much to say other than enjoy! :)

“Still hurts?”

Isak hums, enjoying the way Even’s hands feel as they massage his shoulders, the kisses Even sneaks onto his cheek. Maybe he’s exaggerated the pain from the challenge, just a little. “Not really, but you should keep doing that.”

Even gasps, stopping his massage and draping his arm over Isak’s shoulder instead. “Are you using me, Isak?” he whispers, right into his ear. He taps his fingers against Isak’s chest, like he doesn’t want to stop touching Isak either.

Isak tilts his head to meet Even’s gaze, smirking as he raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, you snake,” Even whispers, placing a kiss behind Isak’s ear. “Lying just to get closer to me.”

“Mm, says the we-should-cuddle-for-body-heat guy.”

“About time you learned my name.”

Isak laughs, as loud and loose as his heartbeat. Even joins in the sound, letting Isak go to move in front of him. With a grin Isak recognizes as pure mischief, Even takes Isak's wrists and pins him down into the sand, both of them laughing louder now.

After enjoying a breakfast feast, complete with bacon, eggs, bread, juice, and champagne, they’re full and energized. They don’t have to sneak around, they don’t have to worry about the next challenge—they can just enjoy each other on this beautiful island.

As they’ve discovered, there are many romantic places to make-out, like close to the shoreline with the waves crashing behind them. Taking advantage of their position, Even kisses Isak with the force of a wave, and Isak kisses him back even harder.

They’re interrupted by an actual wave, forcing them apart as it soaks them. Coughing turns into a laughing fit neither of them can recover from, and God, Isak’s sure they’re delirious at this point. He doesn’t care. He’s happy.

When they’ve regained their breath, Isak reaches for Even’s cheek, brushing it as he whispers, “Love you.”

Even smiles. “Love you too, Isak.”

It’s just so fun to say that now. It’s all Isak wants to do, kiss Even, tell him that he loves him, laugh together like this.

But that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about final tribal.

“You nervous about tonight?” he asks.

“No,” Even says. “Why should I be nervous about winning?”

“Hilarious.”

“I know. The jury is going to be so charmed by me.”

“And so impressed by my gameplay.”

“Should we promise each other something now?” Even asks, more serious than he’s been all morning. “No matter what shit we say about each other tonight, we’ll still be…you know. Good.”

And Isak has to laugh at that, though he stops himself when sees the concern on Even’s face. “Sorry, just—Jesus Christ, Even. If we made it this far, do you really think anything that happens tonight will change anything? I’m not worried about us.”

Even smiles, relieved. “When did you get so confident?”

Isak shrugs. “Sometime over the last thirty-nine days, my life changed.”

“Mine changed the moment I saw you.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “You’re going to be so exhausting with the jury, holy fuck.”

And they’re laughing again, and kissing again, and Isak’s just grateful that they’ll keep having _again_ ’s.

Before they leave for tribal, they each take a piece of string and tie it around each other’s wrists, carve their names into their tree, and enjoy one last cuddle in the shelter. As they pack, Isak feels like he could cry. He’s lived in multiple places, but all of them have felt temporary.

This is the first time he feels like he’s leaving home.

\---

With more optimism than they’d earned, Isak and Jonas studied final tribal council performances before coming on Survivor.

The most successful ones were the most honest ones, where players understood their successes and owned up to their mistakes. It also helped to have a clear strategy that could be sold as a story, especially if it conveniently tied into an emotional arc.

So, no pressure or anything.

Isak reminds himself that he doesn’t need everyone’s vote: he only needs four to win. Jonas, he assumes, is a lock. He’s going to focus on winning Eva and Noora over, but even if he’s successful in that, he still needs a fourth. Eskild and Linn will likely vote together, and given that he was responsible for both of their eliminations, he’s not counting on them. The problem is that he also orchestrated Sana’s blindside and told blatant lies about Vilde, so the jury isn’t exactly his fan club.

But it’s not like they need to love him. They just need to believe he deserves this more than Even does.

He can convince them of that.

“Isak, Even, congratulations on making it here,” Mutta says. “Tonight, your job is to convince a jury of people you voted out that you deserve to be the sole Survivor. You’ll each make an opening statement and then field questions from the jury. Even, we’ll start with you.”

Good. If he knows Even’s argument, he’ll know how to counter it.

“This entire game, there have been five votes cast against me,” Even begins, and Isak’s surprised. Is that really it? “Three of them didn’t count because I played an idol. The other two were the night Isak voted Jonas out, which is absolutely when he should have voted me out instead. There’s a myth that I was this huge target who was at risk every tribal, but the votes don’t reflect that.”

Isak tenses. He was not expecting Even to take this angle. He didn’t even know he had this angle to take.

“Isak likes to describe my game as impulsive, messy,” Even continues. “But I was always following a strategy, even if it evolved throughout the game. At first, my plan was to form a solid alliance with Mikael and Elias, recruit some numbers to vote with us, and hide behind their moves until merge. To his credit, Isak put an end to that when he blindsided Mikael. That’s when I realized that my game needed to revolve around him, whether as allies or enemies.”

“He was my biggest competition, but that’s exactly why I didn’t want to vote him out immediately. As long as he was around, people knew he was my target, making me less threatening to them. So instead of coming after him, I disrupted his plans and eliminated his numbers. I got rid of people like Ingrid and Noora, exactly who he wasn’t worried about, and I did what I could to weaken the relationship between him and Eva. That said, when Isak’s plays served me, I was happy to be a number for him. I didn’t let my ego interfere with making the best play.”

“Isak, I’m sure, will point out all the times he outsmarted me, and he deserves credit for those. But I was creative with my moves, and actually, rather subtle. Is he right to call me an unpredictable player? Absolutely, but it’s not because I was impulsive. I was just smart about it, so smart that despite masterminding multiple tribals and fucking everyone’s games up in the process, there were only five votes cast against me.”

Isak can’t say the same—fuck, it feels like he received votes every single tribal. Even’s argument is _good_ , and not only because it’s logical. It’s surprising, it’s something that’ll make the jury consider him in a new light.

Well, fuck. If there’s one thing Isak knows how to do, it’s fight.

“Isak, it’s your turn,” Mutta says.

“I have no idea how many votes were cast against me,” Isak says, laughing. “More than five, definitely. I should have gone home almost every tribal, and I know some of you are bitter I didn’t. I think that makes it more impressive that I’m sitting in front of you now.”

Isak pauses less for dramatic effect and more because he’s reconstructing his argument after hearing Even’s.

“It’s kind of funny to hear Even talk like he always knew what I was doing after Mikael went home. Maybe he’s forgotten that he was sure Eva was going to go home when Mahdi did, or that I tied the vote that ultimately sent Linn home. Oh, and that I got Noora to take his partner out for me. Those were creative moves, and sometimes they were risky as fuck. Unlike Even, I never just had the numbers to take out the person I wanted to. I used idols, split votes, ties—I fucked with every variable in the game until I got the outcome I wanted. It was scientific.”

Isak risks a glance at Even, who is biting his bottom lip, expressionless as he gets. He’s studying him, looking for holes in his argument—but he’s got to be a little impressed too.

“But sometime science experiments fail, and hypotheses are proven wrong. So, I knew that strategy couldn’t be my only tool. I also relied on my social game, especially my relationships with Eva and Even himself. Even can tell you some bullshit about why keeping me was best for his game, but I know you guys are smart enough to understand that was at least partly because he liked having me around.  As for Eva, I got her to trust me enough to use her advantage for me, help me vote Jonas out, and play her idol for me. I wouldn’t be here without her, but I still think that’s a credit to my game.”

“So, a lot more people voted for me than for Even, that’s true. But I got a couple of people who were loyal to me to their own detriment, and using them, I maneuvered myself out of those votes. My firemaking challenge with Elias was kind of a nice analogy for my game. My flame wasn’t always strong, and sometimes it blew in the wrong direction, but I always kept it going.”

Isak tries to read the jury once he’s finished, but no one’s giving him any hints as to how they feel about him. He believes most of them are still undecided their vote, just in case the stakes weren’t fucking high enough.

“We’ll now turn it over to the jury,” Mutta says. “Jury members, remember to actually ask a question. Speeches designed to make yourself look smart will be heavily edited and scored with what we in the business call ‘music to signify idiocy.’ And we’ve already used it so much this season, the audience might find it boring at this point.”

That is slightly concerning.

Noora’s up first. Isak wonders how frustrated the editors get cutting the pauses out of her soundbites. “Congratulations to the both of you on making it this far,” she says. “Even, I’ll start with you. How much influence did you have over Eskild and Linn blindsiding me?”

“Well, I know you’ve talked to both of them on jury,” Even says. “So I won’t act like it’s more or less than I did. Eskild and Linn were already suspicious that you and Eva were closer to Isak and Jonas than you were to them. I simply confirmed their suspicions by telling them that Isak had told me about your final four. I will, however, say that I’m the one who suggested we go after you instead of Isak himself. I understood Isak’s game, and I knew I’d always have some sway with him. Getting rid of you meant that Eskild and Linn wouldn’t have a reason to flip back to Isak’s side, but as I told them, you and Eva were also the biggest strategic and social threats in this game. I have no doubt you would’ve voted me out if you’d stayed just one more tribal.”

He’s going for flattery. Isak thinks Noora might be above that.

“So, it had nothing to do with Yousef?”

Isak catches Even’s surprise, though he quickly hides it with a smile. “I can’t say that I’m totally above vengeance.”

“Ok, thank you. Isak, you told Even about our final four, and it’s not the only instance of you telling him more than you should have. Do you feel that hurt your game?”

Isak takes a moment to consider it.

“Ultimately, no.” Noora raises her eyebrows. “Of course, it hurt me at specific times, and I’m truly sorry that you’re sitting on the jury because of it. However, all you’ve heard Even say tonight is that he wanted me in the game because he knew where I was at, he could persuade me, et cetera et cetera. That’s bullshit, but the fact that he believed it kept me alive in this game. By giving him that information, by making him think we could work together, I got him to target everyone but me. It’s a selfish move, but it got me here.”

Noora nods, satisfied. Linn’s up next.

“I want each of you to tell me why you don’t deserve to win,” she says. “Isak, you can go first.”

“Too many mistakes?” he says with a laugh. “Seriously, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I didn’t fuck up. My worst mistakes happened when I got too comfortable, so I’d say that was my biggest issue. You should always assume someone is playing harder than you are, because they probably are. Especially when you’re playing against someone like Even.”

“I know my social game was lacking," Even says when it's his turn. “I was fun and I think people liked having me around, but no one trusted me enough to form the kind of alliance with me that Isak and Eva had with each other. I couldn’t depend on anyone but myself.”

“Thank you, and congratulations,” Linn says.

Jonas is next, and Isak’s actually kind of nervous about this one.

“I’m only going to ask a question of Isak, if that’s ok,” Jonas says, and Even gestures as though to say the floor is his. He knows this isn’t his vote to fight for. “Isak, you’re talking about your great social game, which the jury’s been talking about as well. A lot of people felt close to you, or at least that they could trust you—and then you voted me out. Just a reminder for the audience at home, I am your best friend, roommate, and partner in this game.”

Isak nods. “You are.”

“Strategically, I understand why you wanted to get me out. Socially, I don’t understand how you thought you could recover from losing people’s trust like that. Do you still feel like it was a good move?”

It sounds harsh, but Isak sees the question for what Jonas intends it to be: an opportunity.

“I didn’t need to earn your trust,” Isak says. “I had it, and anyway, it was irrelevant once you were out of the game. I wanted to align with the strongest players left: Eva and Even. I could only do that if they believed I was completely with them, and what better way to prove my loyalty to them than to vote my own partner out? So yes, I still feel like it was a good move. If I’d kept you that night, I would have gone home, and you probably would have followed a couple tribals later.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Jonas says. “Congrats guys: you both deserve to be sitting where you are.”

Isak salutes him and Even nods his thanks as Vilde approaches to ask the next question. “Isak, Even,” she says. “Which jury member do you believe deserves to be sitting in your place right now? Even, do you want to go first?”

“I think everyone on the jury has a case for why they could be sitting here,” Even says, and Isak rolls his eyes. Yeah, and what’s Elias’s case, exactly? “Including you, Vilde. You were a challenge beast, and I know you were strategizing. You were just, wisely, more secretive about it than Isak and I were. If I have to choose one person though, I’ll give it to Eva. She had the best social game, fought for her life in challenges, and showcased some really good strategy when she played her idol to get you out.”

It’s just—it’s such _bullshit_ coming from him. Of course he’s going to choose Eva, because he knows there’s a chance Eva will vote for Isak. She won’t fall for that, will she?

Isak opts for a different approach.

“This is going to make me sound like a dick,” he says. “But my answer is no one. I earned this spot by outwitting, outplaying, and outlasting all of you. That’s the game, and I beat you at it.”

“Wow, ok,” Vilde says. “Thank you.”

When it’s Eskild’s turn, Mutta looks more nervous than Isak and Even combined. “Hello boys,” Eskild says. “I must say, this is the most handsome final two Survivor’s ever seen.”

“It would only be better if you were in it,” Even says, shooting him a wink. Isak tries not to get offended.

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Eskild says. “So wise words, Even. You know, throughout this game, I was envious of both of you. Not only were you falling in love, but you were both involved in the most exciting, dramatic tribal councils. What would each of you consider your biggest move in this game? Even?”

“Blindsiding Noora,” Even answers. “I broke up an alliance that could have controlled the game, and I gained two allies in you and Linn.”

“It is always better when I’m included in your plots,” Eskild says. “Isak?”

Isak’s problem is that he actually has multiple. From blindsiding Mikael to getting Eskild out himself, he’s made a number of big, flashy moves sure to impress Eskild. But he’s already mentioned most of them, and maybe rehashing them is the wrong approach.

“Can I tell you my best move instead?” Isak says, reading Eskild’s shrug as permission. “Flipping Eva to my side. Gaining an ally like that is more useful than getting rid of a target.”

“Well that’s boring,” Eskild says. “But an interesting point. Good luck tonight.”

Elias is next, and he’s only juror Isak’s worried will be truly bitter. At least he’ll be bitter towards Even as well, maybe even moreso than he is to Isak.

“Everyone has congratulated both of you tonight,” he says. “But I’m not going to do that because I don’t believe either of you deserve to be sitting there. I know this is a game of deceit, but you guys took that to another level. Even, you voted my sister out even though we were supposed to be allies. And Isak, you voted your own partner out. My question to both of you is: where did you draw the line? What separated good gameplay from just being a dick?”

“My line was Isak,” Even says. “Really early on, he told me not to flirt with him if I was just fucking around, and I promised not to do that. We made a point to separate our game from our personal relationship, and I would never manipulate our relationship to serve my game.”

“My answer is similar,” Isak says. “But it goes beyond my relationship with Even. Every connection I made out here was authentic, and that’s why I’m sure I’m going to hang out with people like Eva and Eskild once we go home. The cost of that is that I had to backstab my friends, but I think they understood it was just the game because of the relationship we had.”

“Ok, I still don’t want to vote for either of you,” Elias says. “But that was helpful, so thanks.”

Eva’s last.

“It is killing me that I’m not up there with you,” Eva says. “But I am proud of both of you, and it’s actually been really hard for me to choose who deserves it more. So, I want to know how you’ve changed between day one and day thirty-nine. Even, can you start?”

“Well, I’m a lot thinner?” Even says with a laugh. “Sincerely, I do feel like this experience has changed my life, and I can’t say I expected it to. I thought I’d come out here, dominate, and then go back to my real life where I actually struggle to survive.”

Even’s voice cracks, and God. If Isak was on the jury, he’d have a hard time not giving him the win. He takes Even’s hand.

“Being out here, I learned that I’m strong in ways I didn’t know, that I’m braver than I thought, but mostly that I can love someone and have that be a good thing.” Even squeezes Isak’s hand. “I’ve always been a survivor, but I always thought that was all I could be. I’m ready to actually live now.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. How does Isak follow that? Wiping the tears out of his own eyes, Isak gives his answer once Eva prompts him.

“On day one,” Isak says. “My goal was to prove that I could survive on my own. If anything, I’ve disproved that. I needed you, I needed Even, I needed Jonas—not only as allies, but just as people to get me through the day. What I understand now is that it’s ok to need people, it’s ok to depend on them, and I don’t have to be alone.”

“Ok,” Eva says with a smile. “Thank you.”

And that’s it. It’s over.

As the jury votes, Even leans over and whispers, “Just need to tell you right now that I love you.”

“Wow, you’re a sap.”

Even laughs. “But you love me too, right?”

Isak takes a moment just to look at him, remember all of his smiles, stare into those pretty blue eyes.

“You have no idea.”

Isak knows what’s coming when Mutta returns with the votes.

“Well, as much as you’re dying to know what these say,” Mutta says. “I think it would be more fun in front of a live audience. I’ll see you all in a few months, in studio, where we’ll announce the winner of Survivor.”

By that time, the show will have aired, and Isak will have settled into his new life with Even. It doesn’t matter who wins, as much as Isak wants the bragging rights.

He’s just excited for what’s next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So on Survivor, they usually announce the winner at the reunion show, which is why you'll have to wait a little longer for that. :) In the last chapter, you'll get a glimpse of their post-show life, the winner announcement, and the reunion show. 
> 
> I'm on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com).


	38. Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The winner is announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to get sappy. 
> 
> I posted Expect the Unexpected in April of last year. It sounds slightly ridiculous, but writing reality TV AUs has been a constant in my life for an entire year. And while I’ve written other stuff, there is something so unique and fun about these AUs that’s unlike anything else. Most importantly, I’ve truly met some of my best friends through it. You know who you are, I love you so much, and I will continue forcing you to watch Big Brother and Survivor with me. 
> 
> This fic was a lot harder to write than Expect the Unexpected because I didn’t want to tell the same story again. I hope I’ve achieved that, and that this is a satisfying conclusion to it. Thank you so much for the incredible support you’ve all shown me over this past year. I don’t think I have words for how much I appreciate it.
> 
> I’m on tumblr [@brionbroadway](http://brionbroadway.tumblr.com), and if you ever want to chat Skam, Big Brother, or Survivor, I’m always open to that. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“Where’s Isak?”

“Kitchen, I think.”

“Oh my God, is that wise?”

“Relax, I’ve got it.”

Isak smiles as his friends’ voices blend in with the pop song playing on Even’s phone. He pulls his coconut cake out of the oven, examining it as though marathoning _The Great British Bake Off_ with Even has actually taught him whether it’s underbaked or has a soggy bottom. As he places the cake on the cooling rack, he feels two arms slide around his waist.

“Looks delicious,” Even says, kissing his cheek. “Everyone thinks you’re going to burn the apartment down.”

Isak scoffs. “Clearly you haven’t told them that I’m the master of baking. Insecure, maybe?” 

“No, no, I said that while I’m the cook, you’re the baker, the chemist, _your game was scientific_ —”

“Fuck off.”

“It was just so fucking cute, Isak. I still think people are going to make memes of it. Maybe they’ll photoshop you as the confused math lady.”

“One can only dream.” Isak turns around in Even’s arms, reaching behind him to grab the piping bag from the kitchen table. “Now, _aspiring artist_ , are you decorating?”

Even rolls his eyes, taking the bag from Isak. “They could’ve listed my occupation as _barista_ instead.”

“Given how much you talked about it, I don’t see what choice they had.” On tumblr, there’s a supercut of every time Even mentioned being an artist on the show, and they’re only at merge. With each new episode that airs, more is added to it, and Isak ensures that Even never misses an update.

As Even ices the Survivor logo onto the cake, Pinterest-inspired, he says, “So, I have a surprise for you.”

Isak raises his eyebrows. “A surprise?”

“I did some research.”

“That is a surprise.”

“And I found a couple of apartments that might be nice for us.” Even pauses his work, directing his gaze towards Isak. “What do you think about that?”

They’ve talked about it, when Even’s borrowed Isak’s clothes after unexpectedly staying the night, when Isak’s kept Even on the phone as he fell asleep, when Jonas asked Isak to give him a heads-up as to when he should put his headphones on. And it stayed as a conversation instead of a plan because they really hadn’t known each other that long, they needed to see how they worked in the real world, they had leases and commitments to their roommates—

But every day, Isak falls more in love with Even, so his concerns feel kind of irrelevant now. “We’ll be able to afford something nice with my winnings,” Isak says with a grin.

“ _Your_ winnings?” Isak nods, stepping closer to hook his thumbs through Even’s belt loops. “Baby, I’m worried you’ll be disappointed come finale night.”

“Mm, I don’t think so. You don’t need to worry, though. I’m going to spoil you.”

“Oh, now that’s interesting.”

“I’ll take you on trips.” Isak runs his thumb along Even’s waistband. “To nice restaurants, to plays. I’ll save you from being a starving artist.”

“You’re so sweet.”

Isak leans in to kiss him, and as much as he enjoys what they did on the island, it’s so much nicer to make-out with fresh breath. They take full advantage of it, Even trailing kisses down Isak’s neck when they’re interrupted.

“Uh, hello? Are you two seriously going to abandon me?”

Isak pulls away from Even to rolls his eyes at Eva. “How inconsiderate of us to abandon you with your girlfriend,” he says.

“And _Jonas_. They’re _debating_ , Isak. I don’t think they even remember what they’re arguing about anymore, but it’s most exhausting for me.”

Isak makes his way towards her, slinging his arm around her shoulder. “I’ll rescue you, don’t worry.”

They end up in Isak’s living room with Noora and Jonas, waiting for Survivor to come on. They don’t watch every episode together, and sometimes people like Eskild, Linn, and Yousef tag along, but they also have board game nights and go out to bars together.

They’re friends, and it’s really fucking nice.

As Eva pulls Noora into her lap, Isak takes a seat beside Jonas. Though Isak never admitted in a confessional that he was in love with Jonas, the editors somehow picked up on his not-so-subtle clues, and Isak’s narrative on the show includes moving on from that. It’s embarrassing, and stressful, and Isak doesn’t want to burden Jonas with old feelings—

But it’s also kind of nice to watch his own journey play out, to really understand his own growth.

Not to mention that it’s clearly a winner’s edit.

“I think I’m moving out,” Isak says to Jonas. “With Even.”

Isak almost expects him to say _it’s about fucking time_ , but it’s Jonas, so of course he doesn’t.

“That’s awesome.”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll have to keep hanging out.”

Isak smiles. “We’ll invite you over as long as you bring beer.”

“This a conditional friendship now?”

It always felt that way to Isak, that Jonas would love him until he loved someone else more. He’s not worried about that anymore. They’re always going to be friends.

“No. Come over whenever you want.”

“Isak, I’m pretty sure that since you voted Jonas out, you owe him beer for the rest of eternity,” Eva says. Jonas leans over to fist bump her. “That goes for me too, by the way.”

“I hate your alliance,” Isak says.

“I hate that we didn’t have it in the game,” Eva says. “We could’ve gotten rid of you.”

“Look, I’ll treat you to whatever you want if you tell me who you voted for to win,” Isak says. Eva mimes zipping her lips, so Isak tries a different tactic. “Noora?”

“Let me think about it for a few hours and get back to you,” Noora says with a smirk.

Isak rolls his eyes. The show may have played a few clips of Isak dragging Noora in confessionals, but in his defense, he did not think they were funny enough to air.

“You know that bribing people to tell you their votes is against the rules,” Even says as he comes in from the kitchen, placing the not-quite-Pinterest-worthy cake on the coffee table. “I could have you disqualified.”

“I’m not _bribing_ them,” Isak says. “I’m strategizing. You’re probably not familiar with the concept.”

Even sits beside Isak, throwing his arm around Isak’s shoulder and kissing his head. “Isn’t tonight the merge episode? Where I totally blindsided all of you?”

“You blindsiding me was actually part of my master plan.”

“Of course, baby.”

As the episode starts, Isak settles into Even’s chest, grateful to be where he belongs.

\---

“What I understand now is that it’s ok to need people, it’s ok to depend on them, and I don’t have to be alone.”

It’s surreal, and a little emotional, to watch the finale with everyone who brought Isak to that point. The entire cast is in a holding room, waiting to be brought on stage for the reunion show. Since the finale started at top four, Isak’s watched himself make a fire, win the final immunity challenge, and have quiet, romantic moments with Even on the beach.

He’s proud of himself for all of it, and while he doesn’t need to win, it would be nice to have that recognition of how far he’s come.

Of course, he still has further to go. Throughout the season, watching his insecurity in his relationships has reminded him of the absolute panic he feels when he wakes up and Even isn’t beside him, when Even needs space after a fight, when he’s absolutely convinced that Even’s left him despite Even’s constant reassurances that he’d never do that. And just now, watching the final immunity challenge brought Isak back to the weeks where he couldn’t carry Even’s pain for him, when Even didn’t believe in his own goodness, and how fucking useless that made Isak feel.

It’s ok though, because Isak has a strategy. He’s simply going to be the most loving person he can be, and he’s going to let others be that person for him. It’s easy with Even beside him.

The producers usher the cast on stage during a commercial break. Even takes Isak’s hand as soon as they sit down, running his thumb over Isak's knuckles.

“Watching that back,” Even whispers. “Isak, how the fuck did you make me fall even more in love with you?”

Isak smiles. “All part of my master plan.”

“Is the next step losing to me? Because then, kudos to you.”

“You’re ruining the romantic moment you created.”

Even shakes his head. “My heart’s still beating pretty fast. Yours?”

“Yeah. And not because I’m nervous.”

“No, I’m not nervous either.”

They kiss as the show returns from commercial. “Ok!” Mutta says, and they break apart. “Welcome back. That’s an excellent summary for this season, isn’t it? Some might even say the real winner is true love.”

Isak rolls his eyes, and he catches Even doing the same beside him.

“Not anyone who’s an actual fan of Survivor though,” Mutta says. “So, let’s get to the votes. Remember, you need four to win.”

Mutta lifts the top off the urn, and if it weren’t for Even holding his hand, Isak would forget to breathe.

“First vote…Even.”

Ok. It’s not like Isak expected it to be unanimous, and he appreciates the way the audience cheers for Even. He deserves that kind of love.

“Second vote…Isak.”

The audience is equally as loud for him. It’s a fucking nice feeling.

“Third vote…Isak.”

“Fourth vote…Even.”

“Fifth vote…Isak.”

Mutta pauses before reading the sixth vote, and wait, that means—

“The sixth vote and the winner of Survivor Blood vs. Water is…Isak!”

All Isak can process at first is Even, hugging him, kissing him, whispering that he loves him, and he’s so proud, and that’s all Isak really cares about anyway.

But then Jonas is hugging him, and Eva, and— _fuck,_ did he actually just win this?

And he’s aware that this is where he’s supposed to run to his family in the audience, but he knows his mom is watching at home, and anyway, his family is right here on stage with him. He takes the time to bask in that, the love he’s waited his entire life for.

“Isak,” Mutta says, breaking through the crowd that’s surrounding him. “Can I get a reaction?”

“I’m just overwhelmed,” he says, realizing he’s choked up. “This has been the best experience of my entire life, and it’s only going to get better from here.”

He grins at Even, who returns it and says, “Mutta, won’t you let me brag about my boyfriend now?”

“I know you won’t give me a choice, so go ahead,” Mutta says.

“What you saw on TV is only part of who he is,” Even says. “Isak is the kindest, most empathetic person I’ve ever met—unless he’s playing a game, and then he’s a brilliant, brilliant snake. He deserves this. I just don’t know how I deserve him.”

“Oh, fuck off with that,” Isak says. “You’re everything to me.”

“Well, it seems I should have watched some more After the Final Rose episodes to prepare for this,” Mutta says. “But after the break, we’ll chat with the entire cast about this season.”

As the producers settle everyone into their seats during the commercial break, Isak says to Even, “Do you actually think I deserved it over you?”

“Oh, no. You deserve it, but definitely not over me.”

Isak laughs, grateful that they’ll continue to play.

After the break, Mutta reveals the votes: Jonas, Eva, Noora, Elias, and Eskild voted for Isak. Linn and Vilde voted for Even.

“It’s interesting that Isak sent most of the people to jury who voted for him,” Mutta says. “Eskild, he worked especially hard to get you out. Why award him the win?”

“Because I like watching people fight for this, Mutta,” Eskild says. “Isak did the most, every single tribal. And, it’s no small feat to get me out. He was right that his best move was getting Eva on his side because that protected him when he needed to make big moves.”

“Out of curiosity,” Mutta says. “By a show of hands, who would’ve voted for Eva if Isak had brought her to the end?”

 Everyone but Jonas raises their hand. “Wow,” Mutta says. “Eva, is that satisfying or frustrating?”

“Definitely frustrating,” she says, then smirks at Isak. “But Isak winning is basically saying I played the best game, so.”

“Isak, you have a response to that?” Mutta says.

Isak shrugs. “She’s not wrong, but I was smart enough to align myself with her.”

“It’s ok,” Eva says. “I’ll win next time I play.”

The audience’s cheers suggest they’re on board for that.

“Jonas, it seems like you’d be loyal to Isak no matter what,” Mutta says.

“Yeah?” Jonas says. “He’s my partner."

“He voted you out.”

Jonas shrugs. “He outplayed me.”

It’s clear Mutta wants more, and it's clear that he won’t get it from Jonas. “Isak, your relationship with Jonas changed over the course of game,” Mutta says. “Can you talk about that?”

Isak knew this was coming, but it doesn’t make it any less awkward. “I was pretty dependent on him,” Isak says. “For a really long time. But then I realized he’s not the only person I have, so yeah. Our relationship is different now, but we’re still friends. That’s not going to change.”

“It’s interesting to see how people’s partners either helped or hurt their game,” Mutta says, and Isak’s relieved that he seems to be changing the subject. “Sana, how do you feel about the way Elias tried to avenge you?”

Sana rolls her eyes. “It was idiotic, and I’ve told him that numerous times. He should have acted like it was fine and focused on the big picture. That’s how you actually get revenge.”

“It’s easy to see why a lot of people think you went home too early,” Mutta says.

Sana smiles. “I’ll just have to play another season with Eva, then.”

“Let’s talk about Even for a second,” Mutta says. “Linn, why did you vote for him to win?”

“Eskild respects people who fight,” Linn says. “And I respect people who don’t have to. He positioned himself so he was never desperate.”

Even laughs at that, and Mutta raises his eyebrows. “Do you disagree?” Mutta asks.

“No, she’s right about the game,” Even says. “But I was desperate as fuck when it came to Isak.”

“Thank you for the segue into our showmance segment,” Mutta says. “Or I guess it’s just romance. Let’s take a look.”

It’s all clips Isak’s seen by now, but it’s different to them edited together with a score of violins. It begins on a slow-motion shot of him and Even noticing each other on the boat, which is a bit much, but Isak supposes they’re a bit much as all the clips of them finding excuses to cuddle play back-to-back. The video cuts to Jonas and Ingrid, which Isak can’t imagine anyone was particularly invested in when Ingrid says, “I’m not playing him, but I’ll cut him as soon as I have to.”

As Jonas and Ingrid flirt in the shelter, mostly by insulting each other, the video pans to Vilde and Linn watching in horror. “Is that what being straight is like?” Vilde asks.

“I’m really not the person to ask,” Linn says.

To everyone’s relief, Isak assumes, the video goes back to him and Even. It shows their first kiss, holding each other during their respective breakdowns, and their final words to each other after the finale. When it ends, the audience aw’s enough to make Isak blush.

“I’ll only play again if you cast my soulmate next time,” Eskild says.

“You are all very confident in your chances of playing again,” Mutta says. “Let’s move to a Twitter question. ‘Evakstree’ wants to know how pleasant it actually was to kiss each other with bad breath.”

Even grins. “Kissing Isak is always fun.”

“Yeah,” Isak says. “Even’s alright himself.”

“Jonas, Ingrid, any chance for you two outside of the game?” Mutta asks.

“No,” Jonas says. “There’s another girl I like right now.”

After coming home, Isak reached out to Isabell, confessed that he interfered, and told her that Jonas was definitely still interested. It isn’t anything yet, but it could be something, and Isak’s genuinely happy for them.

“Me too, actually,” Ingrid says, shooting a blink-and-you-miss-it smile to Vilde. Isak realizes she has been in a lot of Ingrid’s Instagram posts lately.

“So, other than hooking up,” Mutta says. “What’s a reason to play this game? What would you say to someone who’s undecided about whether they want to do it?”

“It’s unlike anything else,” Isak says. “And sharing that kind of experience with people bonds you in a way other people can’t really understand. It’s worth it for that alone.”

“That is the kind of sap we like to end a show on,” Mutta says. “But we do have one more piece of business to get to. All week, the audience has been voting for their favourite player. Any guesses as to who it will be?”

“Eva,” Noora says.

“I agree, it should be me,” Eva says.

“While you finished as a respectable runner-up, the winner is actually…Linn! Congratulations.”

Isak’s not entirely surprised: she was given a mastermind edit with some cutting soundbites, usually aimed at him, and the audience hates that she was fucked over in a rock draw.

“Linn, anything to say?” Mutta asks.

“Not really,” Linn says.

“No wonder you won with that brilliant commentary,” Mutta says. “Alright, that’s a wrap on our Blood vs. Water season! Congratulations again to Isak Valtersen, the sole Survivor! Stay tuned for a preview of next season.”

It occurs to Isak that after a few seasons, most of the audience is going to forget about him. At most, some of his plays will be put into a YouTube compilation. He is the _sole survivor_ , and no one really will give a fuck.

But this experience will stay with him forever, because Even will stay with him forever. Along with Jonas, Eva, and hopefully a few others too. He has people that will ask where he is and how he’s doing, who will help him when he’s everything but ok.

He is a survivor, but he is not the sole one. Everyone who played this game earned that title right alongside of him. They're a tribe. 

Finally, he’s not alone.


End file.
